In this episode Dara is trying to disembed some of his thinking in an attempt to do better. The well-worn pathways in his brain contribute to narratives that he can't stop regurgitating and which are no longer serving him. Time for change - but that's easier said than done.

He explains why understanding is so central to his concept of wellness. He argues that it is a counter to anxiety and opens the door to greater calm. He also believes that it encourages more successful alignment between the internal and external worlds that we dwell in. The idea of rightness and being justified - in a geometric sense - are part of this existential alignment.

Dara proffers that we instinctively recognise what is right and natural in the world and that recognition consequently produces greater joy and ease in our lives. He talks also about 'craving the absent' which is a simple way of understanding areas of incompleteness in our lives.

Reflecting on the dangers of dichotomous thinking, Dara holds up Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken as Exhibit A for the prosecution, indicting it for oversimplifying the myriad choices and encounters that we never make or have. As a counterpoint, he recites the poem My Father Speaks of His Father by Bro. Yao (Hoke S. Glover III).

Also, thoughts on actors Willem Dafoe and Kevin Kline.

My Father Speaks of His Father - https://rattle.com/my-father-speaks-of-his-father-by-bro-yao-hoke-s-glover-iii/

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In this episode, Dara is concerned about egos getting out of control, and he has two specific case studies in mind - one playing out presently in the Middle East, and one that played out a long time ago on a little Japanese island.

He talks about lessons in humility from the world of martial arts and learning how not to take things personally. He also lays out a simple way to think about conflict and what one's particular disposition might be in that area. He imagines a fanciful scenario where Israel took a very different course of action in response to the October 7th attacks.

Responding to a film treatment of an infamous conflict that rocked the world of Irish football, Dara revisits his own experience of that drama before recommending some alternative sports movie choices.

Finally, Dara tries to pay tribute to a good friend who just passed away and who epitomised the absence of ego and the possession of the ultimate anti-ego weapon - humour.

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Dara kicks off this episode celebrating the extraordinary story of Tina Turner and how she overcame the worst adversity to reinvent herself as an iconic figure of 80s and 90s popular music. Having recently seen the astonishing stage musical based on her life, he has renewed enthusiasm for Tina's inspirational girl power narrative.

After that, it is all about men and Dara's experience, both historical and very recent, of men talking. He challenges the stereotype of the non-communicative male because his experience with his male friends has always been one of forthright and open sharing. In many ways, it has been the defining feature of his friendships and one which he believes continues to serve he and his friends extremely well.

So what is required for male talk to thrive? Dara argues that it is largely about safety and trust that may or may not also need space and time. He talks about side-by-side communication as opposed to the potentially more confronting face-to-face model. And he also reasserts his conviction that most men are sensitive beings who bottle up their thoughts and feelings because compassionate ears and sympathetic shoulders have never been offered to them.

A couple of new British comedy film recommendations round out this edition of the pod. Where else would you get it?

Ep35 of The ClearOut (January 2022) - Scared Women, Damaged Men, and the Crisis of Broken Masculinity: https://theclearout.com/podcast/scared-women-damaged-men-and-the-crisis-of-broken-masculinity-episode-35/

Website: https://theclearout.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theclearoutpodcast/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theclearoutpodcast/

YouTube: The ClearOut Podcast

Email: theclearoutlive@gmail.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theclearout

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.