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Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey

Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey

De: Melanie Ramey
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 Sex education and sexual interest don’t end at a certain age. Melanie Ramey is here not only to debunk myths about sexuality, sexual involvement, and connection later in life but to shed light on sexual information for all ages. This podcast will answer the questions that were never properly answered in health class and address the sex information we need but are too reluctant to discuss. Join Melanie for frank discussions about bodies, sexual health, desire, and age, with honesty and humor.©2025 Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey Ciencias Sociales Hygiene & Healthy Living Relaciones
Episodios
  • Taboos

    Taboos
    Jul 7 2025
    In this episode, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey talks openly about two of the largest taboos in society: sex and death. Specifically, she discusses sex and sexuality in palliative and hospice care for people facing the end of their lives. These two subjects individually are ones we as a society struggle to address, so we tend to ignore or avoid the subject of terminally ill people who may still want sex in their lives. Why do we do this? How can professionals begin talking about sex and sexuality with their patients? How can patients or family advocate for openness about this subject for themselves or a loved one? Melanie has insight to help answer all those questions.One of the first things Melanie explores is physicians' reluctance to clearly communicate to families about when a person is terminally ill. There can often be confusion about how long a loved one has left to live due to a lack of clarity about the situation. This is a death taboo that must be unpacked. Melanie then examines how the issue of sex or sexual expression for terminally ill or hospice patients is avoided. Many healthcare professionals simply are not taught how to discuss it, so the subject is simply not brought up. Melanie shares practical advice on how to have a conversation about intimacy respectfully and how patients, family, or friends can assist by bringing up the subject directly with healthcare workers. These taboos need to be tackled and broken down because people at the end of life are no different than people in the middle of life in terms of needs, desires, and their right to express sexuality. There may be complications due to illness or mobility, but having solutions to these challenges is something the healthcare profession needs to understand.Resources discussed in this episode:Sex and the Senior: The Health Professional’s Role - University of Maryland—Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanieFacebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie RameyLinkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey—Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/—TranscriptNarrator: [00:00:04] If you want to make someone squirm, bring up either sex or dying. Most humans aren't particularly comfortable discussing either topic, which makes sexuality at the end of life an even more vexing situation. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Melanie says we should not assume that those who are terminally ill have lost interest in sexual relationships. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:34] Hello and welcome to Sexually Speaking, and I'm Melanie Ramey. And we're really glad that you're joining us for this particular podcast, because we're going to deal with two big taboos. And the taboos are talking about sexuality and talking about end of life. This is a culture, for example, that really doesn't talk much about either one of these. And so this podcast is going to put them together because we think that there is a connection between them. And as you know, here we talk about human sexuality as being the core of who we are as human beings and that we certainly have sexual experiences. But sexuality is who we are, and our sexual experiences is what we do. But I wanted to begin to talk about end of life, because, again, this is the subject that nobody likes to talk about. And it's really quite interesting because in the last few months, I had occasion to hear a presentation by a physician who is one of a group in a startup company. And the goal of this company is to develop a medication so that people will live to be 150 years old. And he seemed very enthused about this whole thing that people could live to be 150 years old. Now, they have not tested any of this yet in humans. But he did have a video of a dog. And in the beginning of the video, the dog was just, hardly looked like it was alive. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:25] And then after, of course, administration of this medication, the dog just jumped up and was running around. You couldn't believe it, how spry it was. And this, of course, was supposed to illustrate that this particular injection of some kinds of combinations of hormones was what did it. Now, I raised the question with him about what kind of side effects that this might have, because studies of other hormones have indicated that they can sometimes be causal agents for cancer, etc. Oh, he assured me this did not have any kinds of side effects because I don't know how I knew since they hadn't tested in humans, but nonetheless. The other thing was that I did inquire around about other people who were present. And no one wanted to live to be 150 years old. Because if you lived to be 150, this means you probably have to work to your 125, etc., etc. and then have to have enough money in all these years to last out. It did not appeal to a lot of people. In ...
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    34 m
  • Myths, Sexually Speaking

    Myths, Sexually Speaking
    Jun 2 2025
    In this episode, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey continues to explore her topic from the last episode about the sexuality of people with disabilities or chronic illnesses. In addition to other struggles, they often cope with several pervasive myths regarding their sexuality. Melanie names the myths and dismantles them by sharing the truth about the sexual health and lives of those with disabilities. The myths cause misunderstanding and harm to the community because they rob those with disabilities or chronic pain of their innate rights and their truth as sexual beings.Melanie addresses the myths that people living with disabilities or chronic illness are not sexual, that they are not desirable, that people who live in institutions shouldn’t have sex, that people living with disabilities don’t get sexually assaulted, and that they shouldn’t get married or have children. Each of these myths is false and robs people of their natural existence as human sexual beings. Melanie debunks each myth thoroughly and explains the need for better sex education tailored to those living with disabilities or chronic illnesses, and better education for health workers and the parents of disabled children. This is a key episode that challenges false assumptions many of us may consciously or unconsciously carry. Resources discussed in this episode:“Our Sexuality, Our Health: A Disabled Advocate’s Guide to Relationships, Romance, Sexuality and Sexual Health” by Melissa Crisp-Cooper“Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and Illness” by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette—Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanieFacebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie RameyLinkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey—Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/—TranscriptNarrator: [00:00:01] Using a wheelchair, experiencing chronic pain, or suffering from some other disability doesn't negate one's sexuality. In fact, myths regarding this area can make life even more challenging for those who have too much to handle already. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:27] Hello and welcome! This is my second podcast focusing on sexuality of people with disabilities. And as we always emphasize, we are all human sexual beings from the day we're born till the day we die. In their excellent book on sex and Disability, Kaufmann, Silverberg and Odette cover the idea not only of people with disabilities, but those with chronic pain and illness in terms of their sexuality. I highly recommend this book and I will put it as a resource on the Facebook page. If people with these kinds of conditions didn't have enough to cope with, then they must also cope with several myths about their sexuality. Let's be sure we understand we're on the same page here. A myth is a belief about something that is not true. It has no basis in fact. And yet people believe things when they never check out to find out what the facts actually are. So I want to talk about some of the myths that people with disabilities have to deal with in terms of their sexuality. And one of the first things is that people living with disabilities and chronic pain are really not sexual. Now, most of this is based on the fact that many people who are not disabled think that they are basically created differently. They actually think that there is some innate difference between people who are disabled and people who are not. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:18] Because people with disabilities often need help with their daily functioning, they are often even seen as being like children. People in wheelchairs often have to endure being patted on the head like a child. And so thus the idea that if people are childlike, they really aren't sexual beings. A second myth is that people living with disabilities or chronic pain are not desirable. So how can they be sexual? Now the society norm for everyone is for women to be young and beautiful, and for the men to be studs. Anything less is really not acceptable, especially if one might need to take extra time or have assistance to give or receive sexual pleasure. And then they certainly could not be considered desirable. Now, most of the people listening to this podcast are probably not going to fall into the category that the society has, because there are very few people, certainly nobody's eternally young, and nobody's eternally a stud. So, you know, sooner or later you would all fall into the category. So to think that some people, just because they don't look a certain way or act a certain way, are undesirable is absolutely ridiculous. A third concept about sexuality and disability is that, well, they can't really be sexual because sex must be spontaneous...
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    19 m
  • The Disabled are Able to Have Sex

    The Disabled are Able to Have Sex
    May 19 2025
    In this episode, sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey addresses the need for legislation, education, and understanding regarding the sexual health needs of people with disabilities. Only very recently in our history have we had legislation protecting the human rights of those with physical or cognitive disabilities. As recently as the 70s, disabled persons were simply institutionalized and forgotten about. Melanie unpacks the history of how the disabled have been treated and highlights how much more education and support is required to understand the sexual needs of those with disabilities. One poignant story that Melanie relates is that of a woman who had been institutionalized immediately after giving birth to her son, on the advice of a doctor. It was only after the son was in his forties that the state hospital where she lived was about to discharge her into his care. The stigma about mental health was so great that he had not told his wife and children about his mother for fear of judgement. Melanie assisted in helping the family find a suitable care home for the mother and the family integrated her into their lives, but the most shocking discovery was the reason for the mother’s institutionalization: post-partum depression. The truth is that persons with disabilities, be they physical or cognitive, think about and desire sex the same as any other human being. However, persons with disabilities are more likely to be assaulted and their accounts rejected by the police due to difficulties in prosecution. Melanie’s frank discussion on all aspects of sexual health and assault of persons with disabilities highlights the need for better legislation, education, and support from society.Resources discussed in this episode:Episode 2: Don’t Get Sex Education from AristotleWatson Institute: “Sexual Education for Children with Disabilities” by Dr. Rachel SchwartzNPR: “The Sexual Assault Epidemic No One Talks About” by Joseph Shapiro—Contact Melanie Ramey: Instagram: @SexuallySpeakingWithMelanieFacebook: Sexually Speaking with Melanie RameyLinkedin: Sexually Speaking with Melanie Ramey—Canon in D Major performed by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/—TranscriptNarrator: [00:00:06] The human need for intimacy is no different for the disabled than it is for anybody else. Yet society has not treated people with special needs appropriately in this regard, be it for stigma, ignorance or disinterest. Well, it's way past time to safeguard the rights of the disabled by getting these issues on the table. Welcome to the Sexually Speaking podcast with sex educator and therapist Melanie Ramey. Melanie Ramey: [00:00:35] Hello and welcome. If you have been listening to these podcasts, you know that we believe and that we know that we are all sexual beings from the day we're born until the day we die. And that includes everyone. And that includes people with disabilities. They are created as sexual beings, just like the rest of us who may not have a disability. I want to begin today to talk with you about this whole issue, because I think a lot of people are unfamiliar with the manner in which people with disabilities have been treated historically. And I think it's really important to have the context, because actually, until the early 70s, late 70s, if parents with a child who had a physical or a perceived intellectual disability, they were recommended by physicians to place the child in an institution and forget about them. Now, these institutions were often state hospitals that had actually been built for people who were alleged to be mentally ill or insane or whatever. Occasionally states had some kind of facility just for children, but they are the same kind of situation where people were just put and forgotten about. In the late 60s, a deinstitutionalization movement started in this country, and this was the idea that people with mental illnesses or mental problems could be treated in the community. Now, this came about because at the same time, or as a consequence of some research, of course, some medications had been developed that could control some of the mental difficulties that people had and so they could receive medications and live in the community. Melanie Ramey: [00:02:46] The situation was that people who had been in these hospitals for years were suddenly discharged to families, and the families had no idea of what to do. I will never forget a very, very upset client who came to see me, the agency where I worked as a social worker. He had been informed about a week before that his mother, who had lived in the state hospital for 40 years, was being discharged in about a week and that he, as her only child, would be responsible for her. She had been hospitalized shortly after his birth, and through the years, as he grew older, his father told him about her and he visited her in the ...
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    23 m
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