Do you ever feel lonely in your romantic relationship? Like you're more roommates than lovers?

What's the impact of small bits of affection on your relationship? And what happens when the tenderness disappears?

Have you ever been afraid your partner doesn't love you anymore because the tender touches have disappeared? We'll discuss why this happens and what you can do to bring the tenderness back.

Today, we discuss how a tiny gesture of affection keeps the spark of your love alive.

1. You’ll learn what the 3 T’s of tenderness are and why, without them, you risk resentment and estrangement in your relationship
2. You’ll hear a story of a couple who used affection to reawaken the love between them
3. You’ll get a habit and a discussion prompt to help you embrace this tiny affection habit into your life

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is a 10-30 second I’m-tethered-to-you hug. For this habit to stick we need two things:

1. We need to find the time of day when it fits into your life and
2. I’ll give you a mantra which you can use verbatim or adjust for yourself. This mantra will help set the intention for your hug so you’re giving the energy to your partner (and receiving the energy) that fosters deeper and deeper intimacy.

Date Night Discussion

We’ve arrived at our date night discussion. This week I invite you to talk about 3 things related to the tethering hug:

1. Find the time of day that will work for you. Remember, consistency is the key.
2. Next, discuss the mantra or intention you want to flavor your hug. What kind of tether do you want your hug to create or reinforce?
3. Finally, I suggest you plan for failure. I know you have good intentions and want this hug to be a part of your lives. I also know life tends to intervene. When you plan what to do when the hug disappears, it’s easier to begin again.

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What does it feel like inside of you when your partner says a genuine “Thank you?”

Today, we discuss why it can be tricky and vulnerable to let the words, “Thank you,” settle all the way into your heart.

1. I’ll offer you a habit and a discussion prompt to help open your heart to truly receive the gratitude that is everywhere just waiting to land in your lap
2. And you’ll learn how appreciating yourself sets you up for greater intimacy with your partner

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to appreciate yourself. Tune into that internal voice that says you’re not enough, and flip the script. Notice how your day is reflective of your values.

Date Night Discussion

This week I invite you to appreciate yourself in front of your partner. Here are a couple of prompts:

• Appreciate the way you spent your day and how that aligns with your values.
• Notice your inner dialogue. Appreciate the changing way you’re talking to yourself.
• Appreciate something you’ve learned, practiced, chased after, and consequently, improved.

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Have you ever considered how a simple "thank you" could transform your relationship?

I've been watching people's relationships since my parents divorced when I was five years old. During those decades of observation, I’ve observed a handful of habits that work over and over. Today's episode focuses on one of those habits. It's all about the magic of thank you.

I'm bringing this episode back from the archives because it’s a habit that makes a difference every single time. With my private clients, when we focus on this habit of "thank you" for the month, their relationship always has a breakthrough.

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What would change in your relationship if you gave yourself permission to say YES to what you desire?

As you listen today, ask yourself, “What does my sweetheart NOT KNOW about me? What am I holding back because I’m afraid? If I allowed myself to simply say YES and give myself permission to ask my sweetheart for my truest desires, what would my sweetheart know about me that they don’t know today?”

Today we revisit an episode from my archives. This story illustrates what happens when we get into our partner’s business rather than staying in the center of our own agency.

Our own YES.

You'll hear the very first episode I wrote for this podcast. Listening now, I’m so proud of all the work I’ve done to help Heather and Sean—the characters in today’s episode—show up differently.

• In episode 30 we talked about the Clean Ask and why asking for EXACTLY what you want actually increases intimacy
• We also talked about how much fear can pollute your relationship in episode 28
• And, of course, I wrote a whole book: 6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication by Rebecca S. Mullen

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When you "win" an argument, your relationship loses. We all do it. We all want to be "right" and we want to prove our partner "wrong."

I loved this discussion. It's filled with all the rotten things we're tempted to say to our partner, and why all those jabs get in the way of what we really want: intimacy and a feeling of safety.

Learn how to use nonviolent communication and protect your relationship.

Learn:

1. How to protect your relationship with a couple bubble
2. The difference between the violent communication you're tempted to use and the nonviolent words that connect you to your partner
3. Why an internal conversation with yourself sets you up to be kinder to your partner

I've invited Dawn Larson and James Buchanan of Take Flight Therapy to help identify key components to healthy communication. These steps will tame the war in your relationship so you can promote peace-filled conversations that create safety.

Connect with my guest

Visit the Take Flight Therapy website here.

Contact Dawn and James here.

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How do you and your partner share the ick that comes with living life?

If you loved me…you’d eat my sh*t sandwich. We got this map from our parents who were willing to change our diaper, clean up our messes, and cook all our meals. But this expectation—that true love=eating life’s sh*t sandwiches—will surely kill your romance.

Today, we discuss sh*t sandwiches and how they can pollute your relationship:

1. I’ll define the term and help you see why they’re unavoidable to some degree
2. I’ll give you the reasons you wish your partner would eat those that really belong to you
3. And I’ll give you a date night discussion to help you and your partner identify the sh*t sandwiches in your relationship as well as a habit to help you make them go down easier

Warning: today’s episode includes repetition of a word that may not be suitable for young ears. If you’re listening with your little one, consider ear buds, or waiting for a later time.

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week's habit for your happily ever after is to improve the taste of your shit sandwiches. Here are three options:

• Reframe
• Say "Thank you"
• Take one for the team

Date Night Discussion

Sometimes it’s good just to know the sh*t sandwiches in your partner’s life because there might come a moment when you can help them avoid eating one, and man does that send love your partner’s direction.

So, chat with your partner:

• Explain the idea of a sh*t sandwich,
• tell them about your 3 worst,
• then ask them what their 3 worst sh*t sandwiches are.

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You have needs. Your partner has needs. Your relationship has needs. How do you balance it all?

Today, we discuss the power of a habit so tiny it becomes invisible.

1. We’ll talk about why you don’t need to put “brush your teeth” onto your daily to-do list
2. Then we’ll contrast that with the multiple priorities you juggle causing you to feel overwhelmed
3. Finally, I’ll help you identify a relationship habit as tiny as brushing your teeth so you can harness the power of invisible habits to strengthen your intimacy

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to practice your 2-minute-toothbrushing-type habit so that fostering a connection to your partner becomes as routine as brushing your teeth. What will help you make this habit so ingrained that you’d feel weird leaving the house without practicing your habit?

Date Night Discussion

Today I want to invite you and your partner to ask the question, what habit is like toothbrushing in our relationship?

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I’m celebrating my 100th podcast episode! This is a huge milestone in the world of podcasting. Less than 5% of podcasts reach their 100th episode. I hope you’ll celebrate with me.

In this episode, we’ll revisit several habits from guests I’ve had on in the past 2 years, so you’ll have a handful of hacks to help you create your happily ever after. You’ll hear:

• A habit to help you remember to give your relationship a spot in your calendar.
• How an experiment in responsibility can help you connect with your partner and keep a tidy home.
• A helpful hack to use music to deepen the intimacy in your relationship.

And so many more.

I want to thank all of you, my dear, sweet listeners. I have had so much fun cultivating this content and sharing it with you is my great privilege. Thank you for listening.

Visit the show notes here.

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Please subscribe to my newsletter here.

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Reach me at 970-210-4480