What happens when your own body becomes your enemy? In this powerful conversation, therapist and PhD researcher IJ Asike shares her extraordinary journey living with lupus - an autoimmune disease where the body's defense systems attack its own tissues and organs.

From unexplained childhood illnesses to finally receiving a diagnosis at age 26, IJ reveals the physical and emotional toll of navigating a condition that can affect everything from her joints to her kidneys, creating unpredictable limitations that transform daily life. "Sometimes I wake up feeling fine, but by 10am, I'm at 15% battery," she explains.

Beyond the medical aspects, IJ offers profound wisdom about the psychological and spiritual dimensions of chronic illness. She shares her process of pain, acceptance, adaptation, and growth - challenging common misconceptions about what acceptance means. "Acceptance isn't giving up faith," she insists. "It's a point you arrive at that allows you to adapt and see new possibilities." This perspective transformed her experience from one where "life stopped" to discovering unexpected purpose through her condition.

The conversation explores how faith, medical support, family connections, and finding meaning beyond illness create the foundation for flourishing despite physical limitations. IJ's research examines the crucial question: what factors determine whether someone with chronic illness merely survives or genuinely thrives?

For anyone navigating chronic illness, supporting a loved one with health challenges, or simply seeking inspiration for life's unexpected difficulties, IJ's story demonstrates how adversity can become a pathway to deeper authenticity. As she poignantly puts it: "My healing is not the absence of lupus - my healing is having the support I need to live meaningfully with it."

Join us for this transformative discussion about finding strength, purpose and authentic living when life doesn't follow your original plan. Share your own experiences or questions in the comments!

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Dad coach Jube Ojomo shares insights on men's mental health, highlighting how childhood experiences shape fatherhood and emotional processing patterns in men.

• Growing up in Nigeria with structured discipline and family traditions that influenced his own parenting style
• Transforming his parenting approach after his daughter was diagnosed with special needs
• Teaching his daughters accountability by allowing them to respectfully call out his emotional responses
• Navigating multiple crises simultaneously while lacking mentors to process emotions with
• The challenge of emotional numbness in men and its connection to mental health issues
• Why men need male-only support groups to process emotions safely
• Creating value-based meetups that focus on skill-sharing and meaningful connection
• The importance of redefining masculinity beyond just being a provider
• Finding personal balance through giving to others and regular reflection
• Building stronger communities through vulnerability and shared experiences

Join the Better Dad community to connect with other fathers and men seeking growth through authentic relationships and mutual support.

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When was the last time you saw a man cry openly? The phrase "men don't cry" has been ingrained in our collective consciousness for generations, but at what cost? In this powerful Father's Day conversation, I sit down with Don Kester OSHIOREAME, a respected creative professional and relationship mentor, to unpack the devastating impact of this harmful stereotype.

"Crying is not a gender-assigned emotion," Don Kester states emphatically. "It's a human right." This simple yet profound declaration challenges centuries of conditioning that has taught men to suppress their tears and, by extension, their emotional lives. But as we discover throughout our discussion, these suppressed emotions don't simply vanish—they transform and resurface in destructive ways, from alcoholism and substance abuse to relationship problems and even violence.

We explore the painful reality of men's grief, particularly in situations like miscarriage where all attention focuses on the woman while men are expected to remain strong and supportive despite their own heartbreak. Don Kester shares practical strategies for dismantling this stigma, beginning with conscious parenting that models healthy emotional expression for boys. Through personal examples of how he teaches emotional intelligence to his teenage son, he demonstrates how we can raise a new generation of men who aren't afraid to acknowledge and express their feelings.

The conversation weaves through the spiritual dimension of men's lives, the challenge of forming meaningful adult friendships, and powerful advice for men currently struggling with their mental health. Don Kester's "LIP" framework—maintaining Life, Integrity, and Peace—offers a beacon of hope for men facing seemingly insurmountable challenges.

Whether you're a man struggling to express emotion, someone who loves a man who can't cry, or a parent raising boys, this conversation will transform how you think about masculinity and emotional expression. Share this episode with the men in your life—it might just be the permission they've been waiting for to acknowledge their full humanity, tears and all.

Don Kester Oshioreame books:
I am not disadvantaged

https://www.amazon.com/Am-Not-Disadvantaged-Don-Kester/dp/1514463555

No excuse

https://a.co/d/4Ey7TCy

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Fatherhood extends far beyond biological connections, encompassing various roles that shape children's lives and emotional development. We explore the different types of fathers and their unique challenges and contributions to family dynamics.

• Present fathers provide emotional availability and demonstrate that nurturing isn't exclusively maternal
• Absent fathers may be physically present but emotionally unavailable, potentially leading to attachment issues in children
• Foster fathers offer stability to children who have experienced trauma, requiring exceptional patience and flexibility
• Adoptive fathers make permanent commitments, often navigating cultural differences with sensitivity and unconditional love
• Stepfathers must build trust gradually rather than imposing authority in blended family situations
• Single fathers juggle both parental roles simultaneously, needing strong support networks
• Father figures provide guidance without biological connections through shared values
• New fathers experience significant transitions requiring adaptation and patience

Remember, all fathers matter and make our world a better place through their love, sacrifice, and guidance. It's never too late to become present in your child's life.

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What transforms a person from the depths of suicidal thoughts to becoming a beacon of positivity and change? Adewunmi Adisa's remarkable journey reveals how gratitude can become a lifeline when facing life's greatest challenges.

Growing up in Ipodo, Ikeja an environment where violence and negative influences were the norm, Adewumi could have easily followed a destructive path. Instead, through education, faith, and mentorship, he discovered his artistic talents and forged a successful career in advertising and creative media. But his most profound transformation came after hitting rock bottom when a relationship breakdown left him homeless in the UK, working in a warehouse when he should have been pursuing his creative passions.

This golden jubilee celebration episode takes us through the darkest valleys of Adewumi's life, where he contemplated ending it all, to the mountain peaks of purpose he discovered through founding the My Green Gene project. Now celebrating its 10th anniversary, this initiative highlights Nigerians making positive contributions globally, transforming negative stereotypes through celebration rather than complaint.

Perhaps most powerful is Adewumi's philosophy of inner harmony: "I forgive people before they offend me." His approach to mindfulness beginning each day with gratitude and intention rather than digital distractions offers practical wisdom for anyone seeking resilience in challenging times. For men especially, his vulnerability challenges the harmful expectation to suffer in silence, showing that true strength comes from acknowledging our humanity rather than pretending to be invulnerable.

Join us for this deeply moving conversation about finding purpose through pain, creating positive change from personal struggles, and committing to gratitude as a lifelong practice rather than a temporary response. Subscribe, share, and discover how authentic living can transform not just your own life but potentially touch countless others.

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What does it truly mean to thrive as a single, independent woman in today's world? Our compelling conversation with Uche delves into the profound journey of single motherhood, exploring the space between societal expectations and authentic living.

"Motherhood is a role. Woman is who I am." This powerful distinction forms the foundation of our discussion as we unpack how women can honour both their individuality and their parenting responsibilities. For too many single mothers, these identities become blurred, leading to confusion, guilt, and parenting challenges that stem from not knowing which "hat" to wear in different situations.

We explore the courage required to face your fears directly as a single parent. Rather than allowing societal judgments or personal insecurities to dictate your life, our guest shares how confronting these anxieties head-on creates space for authentic growth. Through practical examples and moving personal stories, she demonstrates how separating false narratives from your true self enables confident forward movement.

The conversation takes a fascinating turn as we discuss the danger of "losing yourself on half a sentence" allowing others' incomplete perspectives to define your worth. Our guest reveals how many criticism-laden statements directed at single mothers are actually empowering when heard in their entirety, encouraging listeners to seek the complete truth rather than accepting limiting narratives.

Perhaps most valuable is our discussion of practical parenting approaches that balance traditional discipline with modern dialogue. The evidence speaks for itself, children raised with clear boundaries and open communication develop exceptional emotional intelligence and respect for others. You'll hear concrete examples of how this balance creates secure, thoughtful young people despite the absence of a second parent.

If you're navigating single parenthood, struggling with identity beyond your roles, or simply seeking authentic connection, this episode offers wisdom that will transform your perspective. Remember: "Rome wasn't built in a day, but if there was never a day, Rome would never be built."

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What happens when society merges your identity as a woman with your role as a mother? In this groundbreaking conversation, we're joined by Uche, a 38-year-old single independent woman who boldly challenges the way we think about identity, boundaries, and self-prioritization.

Uche illuminates the critical difference between being a single woman and being a single mother, two separate identities that often become entangled not just by society, but first in our own minds. With refreshing candor, she reveals how institutions, communities, and even religious organizations inadvertently force single mothers into spaces where they don't fully belong, listening to guidance about maintaining marriages when they actually need support in building new relationships.

The most powerful moment comes when Uche declares, "I come first and my son comes second." This statement isn't about loving her child less – it's a revolutionary act of self-preservation. As she eloquently explains, "The woman comes before the mother... it's that woman in the mother that is carrying the family." When we eliminate our womanhood, we become the inner voice "screaming in silence to be heard, but nobody's going to hear."

Through personal stories and practical wisdom, we explore the tools needed to reclaim your identity: confronting fears, making peace with outcomes, and consistently acting in alignment with your chosen identity. You'll discover why it's crucial to "give to yourself what you expect other people to give you" and how to train people on how to treat you through clear boundaries.

Whether you're a parent or not, this conversation offers profound insights about authentic living, inner harmony, and the courage to say: "This is who I am." Ready to reclaim your identity and drive your own life's "red car"? Listen now and join us in bringing the woman back.

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Religious Trauma: The Price of Blind Faith:

This is a heavy topic. Which brings profound and complex issue that affects many individuals who have experienced harm or distress as a result of their religious upbringing or community. Often, this trauma stems from environments that emphasize strict adherence to doctrines, discourage questioning, and impose rigid moral codes. For some, these settings can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and unworthiness, especially if their personal beliefs or identities conflict with those prescribed by their faith.
Healing from religious trauma involves a multifaceted approach. It often begins with creating a safe space where individuals can express their experiences without fear of judgment or retribution.
Therapy, particularly with professionals who understand the nuances of religious trauma, can be an invaluable resource in this journey. Support groups also provide communal understanding and shared experiences, offering comfort in knowing one is not alone.
Leaving such religious occultic groups can be empowering steps towards recovery. It is important to remember that healing is a personal journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. By acknowledging and addressing the impacts of religious trauma, individuals can begin to rebuild their lives, fostering a sense of inner peace and self-acceptance.

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