What's a witch to do when her magic is on the fritz and there's a huge pile of laundry to be done? Easy. Flood the entire house. Everyone wants a bubbly indoor freakin' swimming pool...right?

Just when everything is right in my life, something has to go wrong - times three. Number one: an unknown evil force wants to steal my power. Now, instead of protecting and healing the whacked-out inhabitants of Assjacket, my power has wonked out on me, and I've blasted ginormous holes all over town. Not to mention Roger the Rabbit is now sporting a pentagon of penii thanks to me and is keen on contacting the Guinness Book of World Records.

Unacceptable.

Armed with questionable voodoo skills and seriously frayed nerves, I'm two: gonna do what any partially-sane, potty-mouthed witch would do.... I'm calling in the semi-evil, butt-ugly Bermangoggleshitz to train me. The warlock's penchant for push-ups makes me hate him with the fire of a thousand suns, but if I can't control my dark magic, it will control me.

Way unacceptable.

With Sassy and Cookie Witch by my side, I'll three: get a handle on my dark voodoo - or doodoo, as I've renamed it - so Assjacket won't end up as one massive crater. And I need all the help I can get. An evil like we've never seen is gunning for us - specifically me.

Wildly unacceptable.

We'll be the Three Amigos. The Three Musketeers. The Three Stooges. Whatever. As the saying goes...three's a crowd, three's company, three's a party.

Nope. Three's a charm. And I'm gonna turn it on for all I'm worth.