couples in focus

By: Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston
  • Summary

  • Couples in Focus is a podcast for anyone wanting to improve their relationships. Hosted by Thomas and Michael, two relationship therapists from https://coupletherapy.earth/ and thesecurecouple.com, it offers expert insights, real-world advice, and answers to audience questions. They cover communication, intimacy, trust, and conflict, providing actionable tools and compassionate guidance. Each episode explores relatable challenges and offers practical strategies to help couples strengthen their connection and thrive in their relationships.
    Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston
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Episodes
  • Balancing Needs in Relationships
    Feb 5 2025

    Summary


    In this episode of Couples in Focus, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz explore the complexities of meeting emotional needs in relationships. They discuss the challenges couples face when trying to balance their individual needs, the importance of communication, and the impact of attachment styles on relationship dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the necessity of regular check-ins and understanding each partner's emotional state to foster a healthier relationship. In this conversation, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston explore the complexities of relationship dynamics, focusing on how partners can better understand and meet each other's emotional needs. They discuss the importance of compassionate communication, recognizing imbalances in needs, and addressing cultural narratives that influence household responsibilities. The dialogue emphasizes the necessity of acknowledging each other's strengths and fostering a collaborative environment to enhance relational satisfaction.


    Takeaways


    Couples often feel their partner's needs are being met while their own are not. Understanding different love languages can help couples navigate their needs. It's important to acknowledge the overwhelming demands of modern life on relationships. Regular check-ins can prevent resentment from building up in relationships. Disappointment in relationships can be mitigated by sharing feelings with partners. Attachment styles play a significant role in how partners express and recognize their needs. Avoidant partners may struggle to identify their emotional needs. Communication is key to balancing needs in a relationship. Couples therapy provides a space for both partners to express their perspectives. Managing expectations and prioritizing energy can improve relationship dynamics. Emotional responses are crucial in meeting relationship needs. Practical tasks alone do not fulfill emotional needs. Both partners often feel their needs are unmet. Acknowledging each other's strengths can improve relationships. Compassionate communication is key to resolving conflicts. Cultural narratives can influence household dynamics. It's important to recognize the emotional load in relationships. Conversations about needs should be collaborative, not critical. Awareness of biases can help change relationship dynamics. Progress in communication takes practice and patience.


    Sound Bites


    "You can't drive a car without petrol."

    "Relationships aren't 50-50."

    "We often avoid these conversations."

    "It's really never gonna be enough."

    "How can we utilize each other's strengths?"

    "Awareness allows us to change."


    Chapters


    00:00 Introduction to Couples in Focus

    01:00 Navigating Different Needs in Relationships

    06:00 The Emotional Bank Account and Resource Management

    11:08 The Importance of Communication and Check-Ins

    15:48 Understanding Attachment Styles in Relationships

    21:57 The Challenges of Identifying Needs

    22:39 Navigating Relationship Needs

    26:08 Understanding Imbalances in Needs

    30:00 The Importance of Compassionate Communication

    36:04 Addressing Cultural Narratives in Relationships


    To learn more, visit Thomas's website

    Or Michael's website


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    45 mins
  • Speaking the Unspoken: Understanding and Expressing Your Needs in Relationships
    Jan 29 2025

    In this episode of Couples in Focus, Thomas and Michael unpack one of the most critical yet challenging aspects of any relationship—understanding and expressing your needs.

    Why do we often hesitate to voice what we truly need? What stops us from being honest with our partner about our desires, fears, and expectations? 🧠💔

    Join us as we explore:

    • The importance of self-awareness in identifying your needs.
    • Common fears that hold people back from expressing themselves.
    • How unmet needs can lead to frustration, resentment, or disconnect.
    • Practical strategies to communicate your needs effectively without fear or guilt.

    This episode guides you to building a relationship where you and your partner feel heard, understood, and valued. 💡💛

    🔔 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share for more insights and tips to strengthen your connection!

    #RelationshipNeeds #EffectiveCommunication #CoupleTherapy #EmotionalIntimacy #Relationshipsguides you


    To learn more, go to ⁠https://coupletherapy.earth/⁠ or https://thesecurecouple.com/

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    1 hr and 20 mins
  • Navigating Couples Therapy Resistance
    Jan 22 2025

    Summary


    In this episode, Thomas Westenholz and Michael Preston discuss the common scenario where one partner is eager to pursue couples therapy while the other is resistant. They explore the reasons behind this resistance, emphasizing the importance of understanding and compassion. The conversation covers effective communication strategies, the significance of timing when discussing therapy, and how to create a collaborative environment. The hosts also introduce the 'Three C's' approach: Collaboration, Compassion, and Curiosity, as essential tools for navigating difficult conversations in relationships.


    Takeaways


    • Many couples face resistance to therapy, often from one partner.
    • Understanding the reasons behind resistance is crucial.
    • Compassionate communication can help bridge the gap in relationships.
    • Timing is key when discussing sensitive topics like therapy.
    • Using 'I' statements can reduce defensiveness in conversations.
    • It's important to approach therapy as a collaborative effort.
    • Vulnerability in therapy can be daunting for some partners.
    • Creating a safe space for discussion can lead to better outcomes.
    • The 'Three C's'—Collaboration, Compassion, Curiosity—are vital for effective communication.
    • Recognizing each partner's perspective can foster understanding and connection.


    Sound Bites


    "Shame shuts us down."

    "Clear is kind."

    "Approach resistance curiously."


    Chapters


    00:00 Introduction to Couples Therapy Resistance

    03:11 Understanding Resistance to Therapy

    05:55 Compassionate Approaches to Therapy

    08:55 The Importance of Acknowledgment

    11:59 Communicating Unhappiness Effectively

    15:00 Using 'We' Statements for Connection

    20:17 Understanding Disconnection in Relationships

    22:36 The Importance of Timing in Conversations

    25:23 Approaching the Topic of Counseling

    27:51 Collaborative Approaches to Therapy

    30:01 Navigating Resistance to Therapy

    32:15 Reframing Help and Guidance

    34:49 Compassionate Communication Strategies

    40:14 The Three C's: Collaboration, Compassion, Curiosity


    To learn more visit https://coupletherapy.earth/ or https://thesecurecouple.com/


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    43 mins

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