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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
- By: Esther Perel
- Audible Original Podcast
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Summary
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Oct 24 201747 mins
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Oct 24 201736 mins
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Oct 24 201739 mins
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What listeners say about Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
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- Anonymous User
- 04-09-24
Rare opportunity to sit at someone elses couple therapy
I was deeply moved by almost every episode. I found a piece of my story in almost every episode. I am so grateful to have this opportunity to learn that I am not alone with my issues … that maybe it's a human nature after all.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-11-23
Interesting beginning
I own the hardcover but haven't read it yet. The audio excerpt has influenced me to get started reading.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-04-22
Raw and different
Stories that you can relate to, stories that are so raw truth that really resonates. A must listen! Open mindedness *
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- Anonymous User
- 10-15-22
Therapeutic Art
Esther's ability to discern and analyze the story behind the couples' need for therapy is a gift that she gives generously and gently. She delivers her insight with the same consideration and technique a skilled artist takes when approaching their medium. I hope the seasons never end. Each couple brings their unique struggles, so that each new episode is a learning experience. I find it therapeutic over all since many of the themes can be applied to the creative process and relationships in general, however, it is particularly geared towards couples' issues with intimacy, connectedness and sex.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-19-23
fantastic. I was very interested in this topic.
very relatable and lovely look inside of troubled relationships on the mend. Very good and kind eye opening advice provided
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- Anonymous User
- 09-29-24
Excellent!
Constantly challenges therapeutic insight into relationship dynamics and demonstrates additional ways to approach unique situations!!
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- Anonymous User
- 11-04-23
Uniquely real, with one proviso
Esther has a lot of insight into couple relationships, but I gave this 5 stars mostly because it is uniquely real. We hear the couples' therapy sessions, live, in their own voices, with all the pauses and cues that can't be transcribed in a book.
My proviso is that Esther asks leading questions, which press her own preconceptions onto the couples while heading them away from possible truths that would conflict with Esther's beliefs. I think episode 3, "Speak to me in French", is an obvious example of this. Man and wife were part of the Christian purity movement, and both associate sex with being "bad" and "unclean". The husband uses a French persona to be sexy to his wife.
Esther says that she wants her man to be "bad" and "sure what he wants" in order to free her from having to feel responsible for him. Only after having explained this does she ask the wife, who then agrees with Esther. But in my experience, other equally-common reasons for this include
- the woman considers sex bad
- the woman wants to be controlled or even mistreated (which Esther dismisses pre-emptively as something that never happens)
- the woman doesn't respect a man who doesn't dominate her
- the woman doesn't want to think for herself
This is an especially egregious case because both man and woman have by this point said repeatedly that they need this French persona because they want sex, but sex is bad. The wife says she "likes bad boys". This is not the language of someone who wants an adult who can take care of himself, which her husband already is; it's the dysfunctional language of a woman attracted to genuinely bad men--in this case, because she associates sex, excitement, and passion with evil. This is probably the root of their problem, and Esther carefully and deliberately directs them to dismiss it.
Then Esther says that the man's French persona "wants you to trust him, wants you to know that he's holding your hand... you don't have to worry that you've held back for so many years, he's got you", and only then does she ask the man if this is so, and he agrees. But in my experience, it's much more common that the man who is like the French persona "knows what he wants" and is "confidant" not because he's supportive, but because he doesn't care. The French persona is more-likely (just speaking from prior odds) one which suppresses the husband's concern for the wife's feelings, but Esther steers the couple around confronting this possibility.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-10-21
wow, she's very gifted
I've only heard the prologue and 1st episode so far, and I'm very impressed with how gifted this therapist is.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-24-21
VERY insightful, relatable & enlightening!
I found this episode VERY insightful. I relate to SO much of what this couple is going through, even though my marriage hasn't suffered any infidelity.
This episode is undeniable proof in my opinion, that ineffective/defective communication, verbal & non- verbal, is a universal killer of happy marriages & it does NOT discriminate!
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- Anonymous User
- 08-20-23
Relationships are so simple, yet so complicated!
Every episode of "Where should we begin?" that I listen to reiterates my belief that every relationship is missing just a few keys for it to unlock it's most fullest and wonderful potential! I hope Esther is given long life and abundant resources to continue the amazing work she does for relationships.
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