This episode explores how to move from needy, reactive, and controlling behaviors in relationships to sexually charged connection. It covers three key points: understanding young parts and how they can destroy relationships, recognizing when young parts are present, and learning how to get to know your wise adult self to cultivate sexually charged connection.

Key Topics:

1. Young Parts and Relationship Destruction

• Young, unmet parts from childhood can lead to needy, reactive, and controlling behaviors in relationships.
• These behaviors deplete sexual charge and intimacy, often leading to relationship breakdown.
• In past relationships, the speakers experienced this pattern of their young parts taking over, leading to demands, criticism, and emotional distance from their partners.

1. Recognizing Young Parts

• Emotionally charged expectations and demands on your partner are signs that young parts are driving the relationship.
• Young parts are based on unmet needs and wounds from childhood that get triggered in the present.
• The speakers share their personal journeys of learning to recognize and work with their young parts.

1. Cultivating the Wise Adult

• The key is to develop the capacity of the wise, mature adult self to hold and tend to the young parts.
• Practices like somatic work, journaling, ceremony, and men's/women's circles can help develop this wise adult presence.
• When the wise adult is online, it allows for more sexually charged, alive connection with a partner, as they can take responsibility for their own needs.
• The speakers share how this journey has transformed their relationship, allowing for deeper intimacy and aliveness.

• 
  

  (00:00) Welcome & Episode Overview
  (01:13) Needs, Young Parts & Wise Adult in Relationships
  (02:13) Longing for Connection in Early Marriage
  (02:52) Sexual Charge & Working With Inner Child Parts
  (03:43) Relating to Your Partner vs. Relating to the Child
  (04:33) When Needy, Reactive, and Controlling Patterns Emerge
  (05:26) Emotional Distance & Grieving Intimacy Loss
  (06:11) The Trap of Expecting a Partner to Fix Your Needs
  (08:05) Emotional Abuse, Blame & Gaslighting Dynamics
  (08:59) When Young Parts Drive the Bus
  (10:01) How Control Patterns Kill Sexual Polarity
  (12:11) Coping with Emotional Overload Through Numbing
  (13:04) Enabling vs. Empowering: Why Fixing Doesn’t Work
  (13:44) What Are Inner Child Parts?
  (16:07) Implicit Memory & Reacting from the Past
  (17:42) Separate Lives vs. Sexual Closeness
  (19:20) Discovering the Inner Child Through Mentorship
  (21:44) Bringing Vulnerability to Your Partner
  (23:10) Boundaries vs. Codependence in Conflict
  (27:38) Recognizing Emotionally Charged Expectations
  (28:25) Adult Communication vs. Child Part Reactivity
  (29:57) Learning to Parent Yourself First
  (32:20) Turning Towards Inner Parts for Real Intimacy
  (39:47) The Power of Men’s Circles & Inner Work
  (42:58) Wise Adult vs. Inner Child: What It Feels Like
  (48:14) Why Owning Your Parts is Sexy
  (53:06) Sexual Charge Through Personal Maturity
  (53:51) Couples Healing Success Story
  (55:59) Temple Nights & Sexual Polarity Practices
  (58:09) Real-Life Chemistry as Parents
  (58:45) Gratitude & The Notebook Realization
  (1:00:31) Join the Together Community
  (1:01:22) Closing Invitation to Connect

  
  

  Community Link

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  Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

  https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4

  Email:

  ⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠

  relating@courtneywren.com

  Website

  ⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠

  Instagram

  @MikeElliott.Relating

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The podcast discusses the importance of understanding and communicating one's needs in relationships. It covers different types of needs, how to effectively express them, and what to do when a partner is resistant to meeting those needs.

(00:00)Welcome to Together Podcast

(00:17)Exploring Sacred Relationships & Parenting

(01:15)The Skin Deep Card Game Experience

(01:58)Our Partnership with Skin Deep & Discount Code

(02:44)Introducing Our Online Community

(04:16)Success Stories from Our Community

(05:06)Today's Topic: Asking for What You Need

(06:06)Why Needs Are the Foundation of Relationships

(07:32)Client Stories: The Power of Clear Requests

(09:11)Teaching People How to Love You

(10:06)Understanding the Root of Unmet Needs

(12:52)Why Many of Us Struggle to Ask for Our Needs

(14:23)Two Types of Needs: Stabilizing vs. Thriving

(16:45)Helping Each Other Thrive in Relationships

(18:52)Three Categories of Needs: Personal, External & Relational

(22:14)Listening Inward: How to Identify Your Needs

(24:39)Asking for Your Needs in Relationships

(28:51)Why Expressing Needs is a Vulnerable Practice

(32:17)The Dance of Giving & Receiving Support

(40:06)The Feminine & Masculine Approach to Needs

(44:58)How to Make Requests Without Criticism

(51:49)What to Do When a Partner Resists Your Needs

(57:53)Balancing Acceptance & Expressing Needs

(1:05:06)The Key to Teaching Others How to Love You

(1:16:10)A Practical Exercise for Identifying Needs

(1:17:35)Final Thoughts & Community Invitation

The podcast emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for teaching the people in one's life how to love and support them, and the transformative potential of this practice in relationships.

Community Link

https://www.sacredrelating.com/

Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4

Email:

⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠

relating@courtneywren.com

Website

⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠

Instagram

@MikeElliott.Relating

MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS

https://mindfulmeds.io/

15% off with

PROMO CODE: TOGETHER

THE SKIN DEEP CARDS

https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all

Promo Code: Together15

Overview: The podcast discusses the "shamanic death" that couples often experience in sacred relationships. The hosts, Mike and Courtney, share their personal journey through this process and the insights they gained. They emphasize the importance of committing to the relationship, having a clear vision, and being willing to go through the challenging parts to reach deeper levels of love and intimacy.

(0:00) Introduction and Gratitude
Welcoming listeners, gratitude for the community, and appreciation for sponsor Mindful Meds.

(1:16) Exclusive Offers and Community Invitation
Details on Mindful Meds promo code and introduction to the Together community for couples.

(2:16) Today's Episode Overview
Introducing the topic: shamanic death in relationships and what to expect in this episode.

(3:04) What is a Shamanic Death in Relationship?
Exploring the concept of relational death and its transformative potential.

(4:04) Personal Growth through Relationship Challenges
Sharing personal experiences of relational transformation and reaching new levels of love.

(5:44) The Arc of Sacred Relationship
Explaining the cycles of love, challenge, and renewal in sacred partnerships.

(7:32) Breaking Through Emotional Blockages
Discussing the shedding of old patterns and the mystical nature of relational alchemy.

(9:14) Tools for Sacred Relationship Growth
The importance of clear vision, commitment, and learning tools for moving through challenges.

(11:34) Navigating Common Relational Pitfalls
How couples cope with shadow work and avoid authenticity traps in long-term relationships.

(13:17) The Role of Shadow Work in Love
Deep dive into embracing each other's shadows and growing through them.

(15:31) Intensified Shamanic Death Experiences
Discussing unique challenges faced due to a shared commitment to sacred relationship work.

(18:27) Examples of Triggering and Growth Moments
Real-life examples of how deep-seated patterns and shadows were navigated as a couple.

(23:11) The Turning Point: Trust and Commitment
How mutual trust and choosing love helped move through a breaking point in the relationship.

(30:33) The Role of Mentors and Support Systems
The value of external support and community in navigating relational challenges.

(36:44) Reflections on the Alchemical Journey
Insights from a transformative year of growth, fulfillment, and facing shadows together.

(43:56) Co-Regulating and Reconnecting
Rebuilding intimacy through a ceremony of silence, prayer, and emotional release.

(50:28) Becoming Allies in Love
Learning to read each other's needs and becoming allies in the dance of relationship.

(56:00) Embracing the Cycles of Sacred Relationship
Acknowledging the inevitability of future challenges and preparing with learned tools.

(1:05:54) Gratitude and Closing Thoughts
Gratitude for the community, sponsors, and an invitation to join the Together community.

Community Link

⁠https://www.sacredrelating.com/⁠

Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

⁠https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4⁠

Email:

⁠⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠⁠

⁠relating@courtneywren.com⁠

Website

⁠⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠⁠

Instagram

@MikeElliott.Relating

MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS

⁠https://mindfulmeds.io/⁠

15% off with

PROMO CODE: TOGETHER

THE SKIN DEEP CARDS

⁠https://shop.theskindeep.com/collections/all⁠

Promo Code: Together15

In this solo cast Mike goes through what an uninitiated man looks like and what an initiated man looks like and what it is important for men to be a part of this process. If you are a man who is feeling frustrated and confused with why your relationships don't seem to last or you find yourself feeling lots of shame this is for you. If you are a woman wanting to understand men more this is also for you.

To JOIN our online community for couples

Community Link

https://www.sacredrelating.com/

Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4

Email:

⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠

relating@courtneywren.com

Website

⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠

Instagram

@MikeElliott.Relating

MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS

https://mindfulmeds.io/

15% off with

PROMO CODE: TOGETHER

We interview Miriam Martineau mother, therapeutic counselor, parenting coach, with a focus on Parenting as a Spiritual practice and child development. Miriam beautifully lays out the imperfect practice of conscious parenting, the presence it requires, allowing our children to see our vulnerability and the importance of parenting from our truer essence. We also dive in to how the parent’s relationship shapes children’s development and ways for parents to navigate together.

Miriam is a mother, therapeutic counselor, parenting coach, writer, speaker, and researcher. She holds an M.A. in Psychology from the University of Zurich, with specialization in Youth and Child Psychology, and has been working in private practice as an integral therapeutic counselor since 1995. Through her writing, workshops, speaking engagements, counselling for individuals and couples, as well as parent coaching and online parenting courses, she helps clients discover and express their evolving potential – in themselves, their relationships, and the world. Miriam is also vice-president of Next Step Integral, an international organization that brings an integral perspective to ecology, education, parenting and community. She is also co-founder and operations director of SANE, bringing thirty years of community-building experience to the team, and specializing in coherence-building methodologies and practices that encourage collectives to achieve higher service capacity.

MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS

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15% off with

PROMO CODE: TOGETHER

Social Media Handles:

https://www.facebook.com/miriam.martineau / https://www.instagram.com/miriammasonmartineau/

Email:

miriam@nextstepintegral.ca

Website:

www.miriammartineau.com

Important Links you want shared:

www.integralparenting.com

Community Link

https://www.sacredrelating.com/

Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4

Email:

⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠

relating@courtneywren.com

Website

⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠

Instagram

@MikeElliott.Relating

How do we nurture strong willed children and recognize them as powerful leaders? Mike and Courtney explore the healthy development of will, resistance, aggression, and anger in children and how as parents we can welcome and work with it. They dive in to their personal challenges and insights as parents of a strong willed child and as strong willed leaders themselves.

Community Link

https://www.sacredrelating.com/

Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4

Email:

⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠

relating@courtneywren.com

Website

⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠

Instagram

@MikeElliott.Relating

MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS

https://mindfulmeds.io/

15% off with

PROMO CODE: TOGETHER

In this episode Mike dives into a bit of the journey he has been on from codependence to empowered and free in relationship. He shares the right order of healthy development and how you can become active and empowered in the journey of relational healing. Also how this modality could be what actually gets all you are wanting.

If this episode resonates and inspires you in a way to take more action on your journey and you want to receive this relational support Mike speaks about in this episode from someone who is walking the walk. E-mail him directly to inquire about his 6 month 1:1 container.

Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4

Email:

⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠

relating@courtneywren.com

Website

⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠

Instagram

@MikeElliott.Relating

MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS

https://mindfulmeds.io/

15% off with

PROMO CODE: TOGETHER

Courtney Wren does a solo podcast taking us on a deep dive into Pre Conception and Conception. She speaks to women who are called to be mamas one day, mamas who are already parenting, and women who don’t plan to but are curious how their conception time is impacting their creativity and relationships now. She maps out both the mystical and the attachment and nervous systems view of this early time, giving practical pieces on how to consciously prepare as well as how to heal. She shares intimately about her powerful womb healing and journey of conscious conception as well as unwinding her own imprinting.

Donation link 👇🙏🏼❤️🌏

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=VWHABJWZ749X4

Email:

⁠transform@itsmikeelliott.com⁠

relating@courtneywren.com

Website

⁠www.itsmikeelliott.com⁠

Instagram

@MikeElliott.Relating

MINDFULMEDS MUSHROOM PRODUCTS

https://mindfulmeds.io/

15% off with

PROMO CODE: TOGETHER