Episodes

  • Open Invitations
    Jun 3 2025

    @victorrobertfarrell
    Don’t Forget to Subscribe! THX 😊

    © 2025 Victor Robert Farrell (PurpleRobert)
    Writers: Kentucky Johnson & Bobby Farrell 🌐 www.kentuckyjohnson.com

    Presented by Mr. Farrell’s Sound Parlour -🌐 www.soundparlour.music

    ISNI 0000 0005 2730 5864

    All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission. This composition is protected under international copyright law. Performance rights reserved.

    For licensing, publishing, or permissions, visit:
    🌐 www.PurpleRobert.com

    For live performance or broadcast registration, list the writer as:
    Victor Robert Farrell (PRS / Songwriter & Composer)
    Alternate credit: PurpleRobert

    OPEN INVITATIONS (6/7)

    ‘Seven Poems For Seven Churches (6 of 7-Philadelphia)’

    “Come in!

    Come in!

    Come in right quick! For

    The door is always open in

    My holy [i]bailiwick.

    Come in!

    Come in!

    ‘Cause I’m jangling all my keys!

    The door is always open in King

    David’s [ii]diocese.

    Come in!


    Come in!

    Escape this

    Time of trial!

    Laid upon that

    Synagogue of Satan, that’s

    Rancid,

    Rank, and

    Vile.

    Come in!

    Come in!

    You weak-

    Made-strong-Confessors! And

    Separate yourselves from those

    Sah-tan-ic Professors.

    Come in!

    Come in!

    Hold all your stuff right fast,

    ‘Cause all I’ve got prepared for you is frankly,

    Unsurpassed.

    Come in!

    Come in!

    Before I bolt this door! And

    I make of you all a pillar, upon my

    Clear-as-crystal floor.

    Come in!

    Come in!

    ‘Cause I’m coming very soon!

    A [iii]flashing piece of lightning across

    A [iv]blood-red moon.

    I say

    A flashing piece of lightning across

    A blood-red moon.”


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    3 mins
  • COME IN! COME IN!
    Jun 3 2025

    [Verse 1]
    Come in, come in, the door is wide and swingin’
    The keys are janglin’ loud and the Gospel choir is singin’
    King David’s porch light’s burnin’ bright—
    The table’s laid for saints tonight

    [Chorus]
    Come in! Come in!
    The door is always open—come in!
    Come in! Come in!
    There’s supper set and freedom from our sin
    Come in! Come in!
    Don’t miss the call, don’t wait too long—
    He’s buildin’ pillars outta pilgrims
    And the welcome home's still strong
    So come in… come in…

    [Verse 2]
    Come in, come in—there’s fire on the mountain
    The lies flow thick like tar from a poison fountain
    The devil’s got a preacher’s smile—
    But heaven waits the extra mile

    [Chorus]
    Come in! Come in!
    The door is always open—come in!
    Come in! Come in!
    There’s supper set and freedom from our sin
    Come in! Come in!
    Don’t miss the call, don’t wait too long—
    He’s buildin’ pillars outta pilgrims
    And the welcome home's still strong
    So come in… come in…

    [Verse 3]
    Come in, confessors, weak-made-strong
    Step right away from the devil’s song
    Hold fast your soul and don’t look back—
    There’s glory down this gospel track

    [Chorus]
    Come in! Come in!
    The door is always open—come in!
    Come in! Come in!
    There’s supper set and freedom from our sin
    Come in! Come in!
    Don’t miss the call, don’t wait too long—
    He’s buildin’ pillars outta pilgrims
    And the welcome home's still strong
    So come in… come in…

    [Bridge]
    There’s a flashin’ piece of lightning
    Across a blood-red moon
    And I say He’s comin’ quickly
    And I say He’s comin’ real soon
    There’s a knockin’ at the doorway
    Like thunder in your chest—
    This ain’t no bedtime story—
    It’s the judgment and the rest

    [Final Chorus]
    Come in! Come in!
    The time is nearly gone—come in!
    Come in! Come in!
    Let grace begin again
    Come in! Come in!
    With your soul and suitcase packed—
    There’s a seat at the table,
    And there’s no salt like pillar lookin’ back
    So come in… come in…

    [Outro]
    “Come in...
    Come in...
    Before I bolt this door…”

    @victorrobertfarrell
    Don’t Forget to Subscribe! THX 😊

    © 2025 Victor Robert Farrell (PurpleRobert)
    Writers: Kentucky Johnson & Bobby Farrell 🌐 www.kentuckyjohnson.com

    Presented by Mr. Farrell’s Sound Parlour -🌐 www.soundparlour.music

    ISNI 0000 0005 2730 5864

    All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission. This composition is protected under international copyright law. Performance rights reserved.

    For licensing, publishing, or permissions, visit:
    🌐 www.PurpleRobert.com

    For live performance or broadcast registration, list the writer as:
    Victor Robert Farrell (PRS / Songwriter & Composer)
    Alternate credit: PurpleRobert

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    3 mins
  • A WORD TO ZOMBIES - OR - STONE COLD DEAD - Sardis
    Jun 3 2025

    [Verse 1]
    Sardis shit her Sunday whites,
    Spilled her wine and killed the lights,
    Built her name on dead men's bones,
    Waltzed with ghosts and called it home.

    Dressed in garb from Fitch & Frank,
    Perfume sour and spirit rank,
    Dragged her soul up to the throne,
    Like a club-foot zombie, all alone.

    [Chorus]
    You’re dead, girl, dead, can’t you see?
    A walking lie in finery.
    Built your trust in rust and rot,
    And thought the Lord would just forgot.
    But names get crossed,
    And books get read—
    You’re dead, girl...
    Stone cold dead.

    [Verse 2]
    Blinded by men’s sweet applause,
    You broke the rules, then changed the laws.
    Dignity? Divinity?
    It’s sunk and smashed—ain’t hard to see.

    You sold your faith for bricks and gold,
    For whispers in the church that’s cold,
    And now you stagger, proud and cursed,
    A zombie bride rehearsing verse.

    [Chorus – Repeat]
    You’re dead, girl, dead, can’t you see?
    A walking lie in finery.
    Built your trust in rust and rot,
    And thought the Lord would just forgot.
    But names get crossed,
    And books get read—
    You’re dead, girl...
    Stone cold dead.

    [Bridge]
    You traded fire for Sunday charm,
    A calloused hand for false alarm.
    You swapped the watchtower for the clock,
    Now you’ll hear that midnight knock.

    [Verse 3 – Soft or spoken]
    I’ll come when least expected,
    And you’ll find yourself rejected.
    No fame, no claim, no final breath,
    Your name erased...
    Your song is death.

    [Final Chorus]
    So rattle them chains, the Judge ain’t waitin’,
    Your good-time gospel’s long past datin’.
    You danced with death in Sunday lace—
    Now fire’s flirtin’ with your face.
    You played the bride but kissed the grave,
    Your hymns were hollow, dressed to save.
    But heaven’s still got one last rope—
    So grab it, sinner—swing or choke.


    [Outro – Spoken Word]
    Wake up.
    This ain’t a drill.
    Reset your midnight watches...
    Or lie still.

    @victorrobertfarrell
    Don’t Forget to Subscribe! THX 😊

    © 2025 Victor Robert Farrell (PurpleRobert)
    Writers: Kentucky Johnson & Bobby Farrell 🌐 www.kentuckyjohnson.com

    Presented by Mr. Farrell’s Sound Parlour -🌐 www.soundparlour.music

    ISNI 0000 0005 2730 5864

    All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission. This composition is protected under international copyright law. Performance rights reserved.

    For licensing, publishing, or permissions, visit:
    🌐 www.PurpleRobert.com

    For live performance or broadcast registration, list the writer as:
    Victor Robert Farrell (PRS / Songwriter & Composer)
    Alternate credit: PurpleRobert

    Support the show

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    3 mins
  • THE REAL GOONS AT OUR AUSCHWITZ – OR, IT’S NO GO THE BIBLE
    May 21 2025

    And He spoke a parable to them: "Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? (Luke 6:39 NKJV)

    I am so bored of church. I am so bored in church. I am so bored of all the seeker-sensitive claptrap.

    I’ve been to hundreds of churches—homogenised, cloned zombies, the walking dead—mostly populated by grandmothers, children, asylum seekers, strange men in strange jumpers, unmarried professional women, divorcees, deviants in disguise, and a few cool, twiggy-armed boys with plooks and guitars.

    This happened because of the strange symbiotic atmosphere between the hipster talker and the unchallenged dwindlers—now all kidding themselves with the language of the “celebration worship experience” and stirred-up revivals. Nonsense!

    Yes, nonsense is what we were left with when we traded the straight-talk preach of the I AM for the inclusive, culturally inoffensive language of compromised, cowardly coolness—and then dressed it all up in countdown technology. That one hour of dumbness, peppered with a little “talk,” spread like cancer through our spirit-being.

    It is all too late now. I tell you, even if you “break the bloody glass, you won’t hold up the weather.” Damp darkness is upon us; the dwindlers of the night are dying.

    PERFORMANCE TIPS |

    Delivery & Rhythm: Perform to the same skirl and gallop as Louis MacNeice’s “Bagpipe Music.” Maintain its breathless, percussive nonsense-poem cadence.

    Theme Shift: MacNeice’s original lamented Highland cultural decline in the 1930s. Your piece targets the church’s spiritual decimation by modern slickness. Keep that edge front-and-centre.

    Tone: Sarcastic, urgent, unapologetic. Let each absurd detail land like a jab, but let the final lines drop into a dead-serious warning.

    Audience Shock: ???? “shall supersede this rubbish.” Deliver that line as a prophetic overturning—sharp, deliberate, unavoidable.

    Form: Treat the legacy church as a poem riddled with “bad feminine rhymes.” Hammer that metaphor home by exaggerating every off-rhyme and clashing image.

    https://youtu.be/n72XebBaMeI?

    [HOOK]
    It’s fine, it’s cool, it’s awesome,
    It’s national prayer at Wembley!
    [VERSE 1]
    It’s brill-i-ant, resil-i-ent,
    It’s project name and vision,
    It’s clueless, bookless internet—
    A clicking mouse decision.
    [HOOK]
    It’s fine, it’s cool, it’s awesome,
    It’s national prayer at Wembley!
    [VERSE 2]
    It’s empty, harmless, fluffy,
    It’s flashing lights, it’s coffee,
    It’s donuts, clubs, and T-shirts,
    It’s a bowl of chocolate toffees.
    [HOOK]
    It’s hands in pockets up the front, and
    It’s a “Sorry if I’m preachy,”
    [VERSE 3]
    It’s hands in pockets up the front, and
    It’s a “Sorry if I’m preachy,”
    It’s coloured purple corduroy,
    A plastic fruit that’s not quite peachy.
    [HOOK]
    It’s fine, it’s cool, it’s awesome,
    It’s national prayer at Wembley!
    [VERSE 4]
    It’s the white of Converse trainers,
    It’s a flat and floppy canvas,
    It’s smoke, and jokes, and a trail of dopes
    With no evidence to hang us!
    [HOOK – VARIATION]
    Break the glass, break the glass—
    But you won’t hold up the weather!
    [VERSE 5]
    It’s dead, it’s dying, lying,
    It’s self-deception and it’s passing—
    It’s de-trained men at Auschwitz,
    All lined up for the gassing.
    [HOOK – FINAL]
    It’s fine, it’s cool, it’s awesome,
    It’s national prayer at Wembley!
    Break the glass, break the glass—
    But you won’t hold up the weather!

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    2 mins
  • The Last Mugging for Muggins - A Pub Hymn
    May 21 2025

    The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps. (Proverbs 14:15 NKJV)

    Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. ( Proverbs 11:14 NKJV)

    Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:6 NKJV)

    I have bathed in the glittering visions

    Of many a bluster-blower, and

    Ignored all the warning noises

    That bounced off the walls of my

    Well-bullied ‘knower.’

    Yes, I’ve chewed on the verbalised goo, my friends, and

    Gulped down the plunk, plink, and fizz,

    Singing:

    “When it sounds far too good to

    Be true, me boys, then

    It most likely and

    Probably is!”

    I have wedded the big blow-up doll, my friends,

    Embedded with ‘come to bed’ eyes, and

    Danced on the deck of the Hesperus

    Financed by a large pack of lies.

    Yes, I’ve sucked up their green snots of flu, my friends, and

    Imbibed on their pale pots of piss

    (and that’s what it is),

    Singing:

    “When it sounds far too good to

    Be true, me boys, then

    It most likely and

    Probably is!”

    So—no more to the fair or the fleecing,

    No more to those high hills of hope,

    For the man that is constantly bitten, my friends,

    Is a fool and a festering dope!

    Yes, I’m done with the hugs and the muggings, and

    I’m done with sweet fellowship’s kiss—

    For:

    “When it sounds far too good to

    Be true, me boys, then

    It most likely and

    Probably is!

    Yes,

    When it sounds far

    Too good to be true, me boys—

    Know for sure that it

    Probably is!”

    © 2012 Victor Robert Farrell AKA Purple Robert All Rights Reserved

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    2 mins
  • The Last Mugging for Muggins - Spoken Word
    May 21 2025

    The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps. (Proverbs 14:15 NKJV)

    Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. ( Proverbs 11:14 NKJV)

    Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Proverbs 27:6 NKJV)


    I have bathed in the glittering visions

    Of many a bluster-blower, and

    Ignored all the warning noises

    That bounced off the walls of my

    Well-bullied ‘knower.’

    Yes, I’ve chewed on the verbalised goo, my friends, and

    Gulped down the plunk, plink, and fizz,

    Singing:

    “When it sounds far too good to

    Be true, me boys, then

    It most likely and

    Probably is!”

    I have wedded the big blow-up doll, my friends,

    Embedded with ‘come to bed’ eyes, and

    Danced on the deck of the Hesperus

    Financed by a large pack of lies.

    Yes, I’ve sucked up their green snots of flu, my friends, and

    Imbibed on their pale pots of piss

    (and that’s what it is),

    Singing:

    “When it sounds far too good to

    Be true, me boys, then

    It most likely and

    Probably is!”

    So—no more to the fair or the fleecing,

    No more to those high hills of hope,

    For the man that is constantly bitten, my friends,

    Is a fool and a festering dope!

    Yes, I’m done with the hugs and the muggings, and

    I’m done with sweet fellowship’s kiss—

    For:

    “When it sounds far too good to

    Be true, me boys, then

    It most likely and

    Probably is!

    Yes,

    When it sounds far

    Too good to be true, me boys—

    Know for sure that it

    Probably is!”

    © 2012 Victor Robert Farrell AKA Purple Robert ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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    3 mins
  • DIARRHEATRIBE-SPOKEN WORD
    May 19 2025

    The [i]Dartford tunnel

    Took its toll on our patience and our love and

    My wife, trapped in traffic,

    Fumed like an old kettle, fit to explode.

    At home and with time on my hands and mischief in mind,

    I turned to my mistress so fragrant and kind, and

    Took the time to ‘get it on’ once more.

    In the lavender filled washing liquid flavored air

    Which oozed out of the white, wet tray above

    The virgin white cube’s glass porthole,

    To the background Brazilian Bossa nova rhythm of

    The dirty dish washer

    I quickly put her on the cooker top and

    Screwed her lid right off!

    Know what I mean boys?

    Sure, my wife’s revolving bra’s and pants

    In shocked surprise

    Pressed their face against the glass and

    [ii]Criticized my efforts, but this was a

    Well-practiced event now,

    A quick and illicit

    Hunger-panging

    [iii]Guilt-ridden

    [iv]Aluminium pan banging affair

    ‘Cause you see, me and Mrs.. Sharwood, well,

    [v]We got a thing goin' on and

    Though we both know that it's wrong

    It’s just much too strong

    To let it go now

    Beaten by a 4lb hammer

    The [vi]Diamond wood grenade

    Unmercifully split the [vii]knotted hazel

    Bringing the proud and unyielding log to its knees

    Like a Pole axe pounded into a pink pigs head, and so

    Stripped of its Samson like strength

    Its long grained meat now lay crackling in the fire.

    “Just one more screw”

    I thought

    “Before she barges through the door” and

    The cork,

    Sucked out of the brown bottle’s neck

    Bounced to exhaustion on the kitchen floor

    Sweet and sour chicken and some long grain rice

    Thawed the fiery ice of commuter madness, and

    Served in front of a red hot roaring fire

    With some chilled white wine

    Unlike the M25, speedily

    Turned winter into summer in

    Double quick,

    Quick double time

    “Thank you my dear”

    She said,

    “That was lovely” and

    “All that effort!”

    “Yeah,” I thought

    “You poor deluded thing.”

    Little did she know that me and Mrs. Sharwood, well,

    We got a thing goin' on and though we

    Both know that it's wrong

    It’s just much too strong

    To let it go now

    © 2012 Victor Robert Farrell


    [i] Travelling anti-clockwise and North on the M25 will bring you to the Dartford Toll Tunnel which runs under the river Thames for nearly 1.5km.
    [ii] My lovely wife, bless her, can’t help herself giving me advice in the kitchen! I think it’s because she has to clean up after me.
    [iii] At the time of writing, I hated the fact that at this point in our lives, it was mostly my wife that was seen to have a ‘proper job’, you know, one that brings in a steady wage. I hate the fact that she comes home so tired. I just hate it. Mind you, I have done it myself as well!
    [iv] If you are from the USA please feel free to insert Aluminum!
    [v] "Me and Mrs. Jones" is a soul song written by Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, describing an extramarital affair between a man and his lover, Mrs. Jones.
    [vi] This is a fantastic device which splits logs into four! Worth every penny, even if it’s just to annoy the neighbours with all the banging. Of course I was making a nice warm cosy fire.

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    4 mins
  • DIARRHEATRIBE
    May 19 2025

    The [i]Dartford tunnel

    Took its toll on our patience and our love and

    My wife, trapped in traffic,

    Fumed like an old kettle, fit to explode.

    At home and with time on my hands and mischief in mind,

    I turned to my mistress so fragrant and kind, and

    Took the time to ‘get it on’ once more.

    In the lavender filled washing liquid flavored air

    Which oozed out of the white, wet tray above

    The virgin white cube’s glass porthole,

    To the background Brazilian Bossa nova rhythm of

    The dirty dish washer

    I quickly put her on the cooker top and

    Screwed her lid right off!

    Know what I mean boys?

    Sure, my wife’s revolving bra’s and pants

    In shocked surprise

    Pressed their face against the glass and

    [ii]Criticized my efforts, but this was a

    Well-practiced event now,

    A quick and illicit

    Hunger-panging

    [iii]Guilt-ridden

    [iv]Aluminium pan banging affair

    ‘Cause you see, me and Mrs.. Sharwood, well,

    [v]We got a thing goin' on and

    Though we both know that it's wrong

    It’s just much too strong

    To let it go now

    Beaten by a 4lb hammer

    The [vi]Diamond wood grenade

    Unmercifully split the [vii]knotted hazel

    Bringing the proud and unyielding log to its knees

    Like a Pole axe pounded into a pink pigs head, and so

    Stripped of its Samson like strength

    Its long grained meat now lay crackling in the fire.

    “Just one more screw”

    I thought

    “Before she barges through the door” and

    The cork,

    Sucked out of the brown bottle’s neck

    Bounced to exhaustion on the kitchen floor

    Sweet and sour chicken and some long grain rice

    Thawed the fiery ice of commuter madness, and

    Served in front of a red hot roaring fire

    With some chilled white wine

    Unlike the M25, speedily

    Turned winter into summer in

    Double quick,

    Quick double time

    “Thank you my dear”

    She said,

    “That was lovely” and

    “All that effort!”

    “Yeah,” I thought

    “You poor deluded thing.”

    Little did she know that me and Mrs. Sharwood, well,

    We got a thing goin' on and though we

    Both know that it's wrong

    It’s just much too strong

    To let it go now

    © 2012 Victor Robert Farrell



    [i] Travelling anti-clockwise and North on the M25 will bring you to the Dartford Toll Tunnel which runs under the river Thames for nearly 1.5km.

    [ii] My lovely wife, bless her, can’t help herself giving me advice in the kitchen! I think it’s because she has to clean up after me.

    [iii] At the time of writing, I hated the fact that at this point in our lives, it was mostly my wife that was seen to have a ‘proper job’, you know, one that brings in a steady wage. I hate the fact that she comes home so tired. I just hate it. Mind you, I have done it myself as well!

    [iv] If you are from the USA please feel free to insert Aluminum!

    [v] "Me and Mrs. Jones" is a soul song written by Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, describing an extramarital affair between a man and his lover, Mrs. Jones.

    CHORUS | Me and Mrs. Jones
    We got a thing goin' on
    We both know that it's wrong
    But it's much too strong
    To let it go now

    We meet every day at the same cafe
    Six-thirty

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    5 mins
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