In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, I sit down with Jason—a long-time friend, ultramarathoner, and secular Buddhist—to explore life beyond dogma. We dive deep into questions of meaning, suffering, and personal transformation. Jason shares his journey from childhood trauma, addiction, and depression to healing, self-acceptance, and the liberating philosophy of secular Buddhism.

We tackle the fear of leaving behind rigid belief systems, the reality of self-imposed suffering, and the beauty of finding your own path. Whether you’re deconstructing faith, seeking purpose, or just curious about running 200+ miles through the wilderness, this conversation is for you.

🔹 The illusion of certainty in religion
🔹 What it really means to "find yourself"
🔹 The power of suffering as a teacher
🔹 Ultramarathons as a metaphor for life
🔹 Reframing trauma and choosing a new narrative

If you’ve ever questioned what’s next after faith—or just want to hear an incredible journey of resilience—this episode is a must-listen.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction & Guest Introduction
01:18 – Why People Fear Leaving Religion
03:06 – What If Life Has No Meaning?
05:00 – Creating Meaning vs. Finding It
10:59 – The Role of Suffering in Growth
15:31 – How Religion Becomes a Coping Mechanism
17:30 – Hitting Rock Bottom: Alcoholism & Trauma
22:40 – Running From Pain vs. Facing It
29:09 – The Turning Point: Therapy & Healing
33:56 – How Trauma Affects the Brain
40:17 – The Difference Between Pain & Suffering
41:44 – Living in the Present: The Power of Mindfulness
47:10 – What Therapy is REALLY Like
50:48 – Running 250 Miles—Why Choose to Suffer?
54:55 – The Mental Side of Ultra-Endurance
59:46 – The Freedom of Letting Go
1:04:05 – Choosing Your Own Path & Building Community
1:10:22 – Finding Belonging Outside of Religion
1:12:03 – How to Start Living YOUR Life Today
1:28:18 – Final Thoughts & Takeaways

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

What if you're gay but don't want to be gay? Jason Evert has the perfect solution, just hate yourself. He gives us a 'third option' to homosexuality where you can hate yourself, but publicly. Someone please patent this man's genius methods and scientific tests of what marriage must include.

But in all seriousness, Jason Evert is the Final Boss of catholic apologists who do nothing but create word salads to confuse people and pad church teaching. He's the one that started me down the catholic rabbit-hole of chastity speakers & how to deal with SSA, so I figured I'd give a humorous response to his Ascension Presents video.

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Why are young catholics sent to conversion therapy? Does the Catholic Church discriminate against gay men? In today's episode, I tell my story of being rejected from becoming a monk for being gay - or as they like to say: experience same-sex attraction. My co-hosts Colin (raised FSSP) and Ben (discerned a vocation) help me explain where the church stands on this issue.

00:00:00 - Introduction: Gay Men and the Priesthood Controversy
00:00:30 - The Reality: Many Priests Are Gay
00:00:50 - Personal Stories: Discerning While Gay
00:01:17 - Church Teachings and the 2005 Document
00:03:13 - The Italian Bishops' Conference: What Was Actually Said
00:05:52 - Deep-Seated vs. Transitory Homosexual Tendencies
00:15:27 - Vocational Struggles for Gay Catholics
00:25:35 - The Church’s Role in Conversion Therapy
00:36:14 - Linking Homosexuality to Abuse: A False Narrative
(I got lazy about creating chapters beyond that mark, haha)

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Father Mike Schmitz (celebrity catholic priest) uses chairs to demonstrate teleology, and then makes anti-gay arguments from Theology of the Body. This approach fails in so many ways, and I don't think chairs are our best proof of teleology.

I (a gay ex-traditional catholic apologist) give my reaction to his wild takes on teleology. This is the talk that convinced me when I was much younger to not be gay, so I figured I'd be fun to start my video-essays with an emotional reaction to his talk.

00:00-01:12 - intro
01:12-03:35 - don’t violate the nature of things
03:35-04:44 - sex is only for procreation
06:44-08:44 - his brother came out as gay
08:44-10:33 - settle with just being friends
10:33-11:45 - just be happy
11:46-12:25 - my thoughts as a gay ex-catholic

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

Let's dive deep into the Catholic Church's controversial teaching on contraception, its roots in outdated philosophies, and the societal impact of enforcing such dogma. From Humanae Vitae to the rise of "Theology of the Body," we'll critically examine how these doctrines shape attitudes toward birth control, women's rights, and personal autonomy. With years of theological study and firsthand experience within the Church, I explore why these teachings don't hold up under scrutiny—and why they're dangerous. Let's discuss how these views connect to the broader right-wing war on contraception and personal freedom.

00:00 - The Catholic Church’s Most Oppressive Document
01:05 - The Church’s Official Teaching on Birth Control
02:04 - Why Non-Catholics Should Care
03:03 - The Philosophy of Natural Law
05:51 - Debunking Natural Law
07:23 - Theology of the Body
10:00 - Scare Tactics and Misinformation
13:35 - The Church vs. Birth Control Science
15:48 - Natural Family Planning (NFP)
19:37 - The Global Consequences of Church Policy
21:42 - The Real Reason Behind Church Teachings
25:05 - The Hypocrisy of Church Leaders
27:30 - Empowerment Through Choice
29:33 - Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this episode of Intrinsically Ordered, we sit down with a former Sedevacantist seminarian who opens up about his journey into one of Catholicism's most radical branches, his time in seminary, and the personal struggles that led him to leave the church altogether. From exploring the allure of certainty in faith to confronting deep-seated identity issues, this raw and eye-opening conversation delves into the intersection of belief, control, and personal freedom. Whether you're curious about high-control religious groups or seeking inspiration for your own journey, this episode offers thought-provoking insights and a powerful story of self-discovery.

00:00:00 - Introduction and Welcome
00:00:25 - What is Sedevacantism? A Quick Overview
00:01:54 - Growing Up Fundamentalist: A Journey to Catholicism
00:05:03 - Finding Sedevacantism Online and Entering Seminary
00:15:03 - The Struggles of Seminary Life and Identity
00:25:00 - Leaving Sedevacantism and Facing the Fallout
00:30:00 - Advice for Those Doubting or Leaving High-Control Faiths
00:33:40 - Life After Catholicism: Finding Happiness and Hope

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

The Catholic Church offers no solution for queer folks who follow its teachings, besides celibacy. There is no proven, approved way that a catholic can life their life following church teaching without getting in trouble with the church or laity. Nobody can agree on what to do except wait for heaven.

00:00 - Intro
00:25 - Background Documents
01:41 - You Can't Be a Priest
03:44 - You Can't Get Married
04:29 - Singleness Isn't a Vocation
07:01 - You Can't Make Real Friends
09:13 - You Are Defective
11:46 - You're Their Guinea Pig
13:59 - Final Warning

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.

In this thought-provoking episode, we sit down with Barefooter, a minister in the Anglican tradition and a trans individual, to discuss their unique journey of faith and identity. From a childhood immersed in Protestant traditions to grappling with gender and sexuality, our guest explores the challenges of aligning personal truth with theological tradition. Join us for an honest and insightful conversation about theology, community, and the complexities of being fully human.

00:00 - Welcome and Introduction
00:06 - Barefoot Her's Religious Upbringing
00:27 - Personal Faith and Church Culture
00:56 - Discovering Gender Identity
02:00 - Theology, Tradition, and Gender
04:44 - Navigating Shame and Grace
07:12 - Faith as a Tool for Integration
11:37 - Final Reflections on Faith and Identity

To join our discord community for $1 or to support my work/get early access to content, check out my patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/gayextrad

To be a guest on the episode, visit my YT channel and send me an email.