Well friends, today marks the last Monday together for a little while. I asked you if there was anything you’d like to hear about before this season ends, and something that came up more than once was about transitions and transformations. 

So today, for the last official episode in the first season, we are going to dig into the seasons, versions, chapters of your own life - of your SELF and ways to support the transition into what/who comes next.

We discuss:

-  The ways we can get to know the past versions of ourselves, and spend some time getting to know the version that comes next.

- What roles you cast yourself in, and how it impacts how you showed up in life. 

- An exercise by Dr. Alexandra Solomon’s to get familiar with the story you tell of your life.

- How our values can serve as grounding pillars amongst the change.

- The power of imagination and tapping into our own internal reality

… and more.

Today’s exercises: We will uncover the chapters of your life, your core values and end with a light ‘future self’ visualisation.

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com 

I am so excited to be back with another guest in the kitchen, and not just any guest but the incredible Dr Alexandra Sedlovskaya  - my Professor from the Self and Identity course I studied at Harvard Extension school at the beginning of this year.

It feels like a pretty monumental conversation for a number of reasons, but one being that it was this course and a conversation we had, that pushed this podcast from an abstract idea to a solidified plan, so to be here today recording an episode for it feels amazing.

We discuss:

- What brought her to Harvard and why she chose to study self and identity.

- Tips on the ability to create safe spaces for people to explore these important topics. 

- What is meant by the term concealable stigmatized identities, some examples and the difference between those and stigmatized identities

- The psychological impact on concealing a stigmatized identity.

- The propensity to create a divided self when you feel you can only be yourself in certain rooms. 

… and more.

Today’s exercise: Practice those tough conversations, and practice creating safe spaces for people in our lives.

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com 

Learn more about Dr. Alexandra Sedlovskaya’s Harvard course: https://online-learning.harvard.edu/course/self-and-identity?delta=0 

The last couple episodes leaned more into that individualistic impact on identity, the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that make up who we are - the ways we can shape and mould that in a pursuit to show up as our favourite selves. 

This week on the other hand - comes back to the parallel truth that a lot of our identity is also reliant on our relational self, our collective self, the impact others have on who we are understood to be, both by others and ourselves.

Today we are focusing on the power and role of groups

 
We discuss:

- How human groups lie at the heart of social life.

- The divide between social identity and personal identity.

- The concept of stereotypes. 

- How self uncertainty is at the core of many of these ideas. 

- De-individualisation - when we lose our identity completely to the group. 

… and more.

Today’s exercise: Reflecting on the last 7 weeks, questions to ask yourself:

What has shifted over the last 2 months for me?

Are there parts of myself I am starting to lean into more?

Are there parts or identities I am outgrowing or abandoning?

What thoughts, feelings, behaviours or patterns have I become more aware of?

What does belonging to myself look like?

How can I practice this?

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com 

Today we have another epic human joining us in the kitchen. I’m talking to Coach Matthew Hayes, an identity and results coach that helps individuals, couples and organizations find their truth. With a background in spaceflight research for NASA, he merges science and emotional intelligence to create a new environment for growth that speaks to both the head and the heart.

This started as two friends catching up, and turned into an interview. So good. 

We discuss:

- Identity work and the power of being wrong.

- What brought Matt to this work, what he thinks of self and identity and how he uses it in his work with his client. 

- Deciding and choosing our values.

- How to stop yourself from getting obsessed with constantly editing, engineering and perfecting identity.

- Understanding our worthiness and how it correlates with identity. 

… and more.

Today’s exercise: A reframe from Matt to support you in intentionally responding to triggers. 

Connect with Coach Matthew Hayes here: https://www.coachmatthewhayes.com/ 

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com 

Do you think your thoughts impact your future? Do you think the things you think about impact how you show up in the world? This week we are getting into the brain and the body, and looking at the ways our thoughts and feelings can keep us stuck in the past we've known. We’re going to discuss the tools and exercises you can use to reprogram and recondition it and to support you in building the future that you choose.

When was the last time you felt wonder? This episode is about blowing your own mind and allowing yourself to remain open to what is possible. 

We discuss:

- How the brain impacts what from the outside comes inside.

- The way our brain filters down 40,000, to 5,000 impulses by putting that information through a specific process.

- How the Hakalau meditation allows you to expand your awareness, and impacts your physiology making you more relaxed.

- The ways that your thoughts impact your future and how you show up in the world today.  

- How we constantly exist in the past, and how to become more present. 

… and more.

Today’s exercise: How to anchor in a positive emotion (at the 43:00 minute mark) and access to an EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques, aka. Tapping) video for those interested. 

Resources mentioned in the show: 

Joe Dispenza - https://drjoedispenza.com/ 

Lacy Phillips - https://tobemagnetic.com/ 

The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

The Untethered Soul - Michael Singer 

Your Brain Hallucinates your Conscious Reality - TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyu7v7nWzfo 

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com 

Trigger warning: this episode has references to racism, slavery and sexual assault.

I never had access to a mixed community growing up and I went through much of my adolescent years feeling alone and isolated in my experience of the world. I also existed with a fragmented identity, largely comprising of other people’s expectations and judgements. I talk a lot about the power of having experiences validated and that has only been something I’ve been able to experience in the last few years. This episode centres on the power of owning and leaning into all of our mixedness.

And so I’m talking to Jazmine Jarvis and Meagan Kimberly Smith of Mixed in America.  Mixed in America (MIA) empowers the Mixed community and heals the Mixed identity. MIA is run by two multiracial activists, looking to have a more nuanced conversation about race in America. 

We discuss:

- What Self and Identity means to them.

- Other people feeling entitled to tell mixed people how they should define their identity.

- Being a chameleon, the power of fluidity and our experience living with the duality of it all. 

- Thing’s people should stop saying to mixed people (no matter how well meaning it is). 

- The guilt that comes with light skin privilege and feeling entitled to take up space

with the mixed experience.

… and more.

Today’s exercise:  Work through the Mixed in America identity work book . Download it here: https://www.mixedinamerica.org/free-workbook/

Learn more about MIA: https://www.mixedinamerica.org/ 

Follow Mixed in America on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mixed_in_america/ 

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com 

*guided meditation begins around the 33 minute mark. 

When we talk about identity, it’s important to start to unpack what is often referred to as the ‘shadow.’ You know, the parts that are deemed ‘bad,’ those things that we believe make us unlovable, unworthy, wrong or broken. It can be hard to face these parts head on, especially when they bring up such negative feelings. 

This episode is going to be a little different. I’m going to leave you with something tangible as we talk about unpacking the shadow. It will be split into two parts, ending with a meditation you can come back to which can help you work through this. 

I discuss:

- Unpacking and understanding the ways you hide certain parts of yourself, and proudly proclaim others.

- Why this work can be scary, and how to overcome that.

- How societal pressure to ‘act the right way’ pushes us away from our true selves. 

- Why both the good parts and bad parts of our identity are all needed to make a whole. 

- How triggers, judgement and projections are all reflections of shadow. 

… and more!

Today’s exercise:  A mediation that will give you an opportunity to meet with traits, which will be referred to as sub personalities in the mediation. It starts around the 33 minute mark. 

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com 

Are you aware of how you may change in different situations? Do you realize when it’s helpful and when it's a hindrance? This week we are digging into those self concepts and identities a little more.

We’ll be exploring some of the thinking around whether having numerous identities is a good, bad - or my stance - nuanced thing. I’ll be sharing two academic concepts to explore the different perspectives around being fluid and flexible in the ways we show up.

I discuss:

- How we are the result of things that served and protected us at the time. 

- The idea that self concept -is organized into multiple components and identities.

- SCD - Self Concept Differentiation - the degree to which the identities are the same or differ across personally important roles.

- How we are influenced by our environment and experiences which is a result of our minds doing what it felt was required at the time.

- Self-Complexity as a cognitive buffer against stress-related illness and depression, by Patricia Linville.

… and more!

Today’s exercise: Create a grid of boxes and think about the core elements and identities that go into who you are - do you want to add or remove some?

Books mentioned in this episode: 

Breaking the Ocean: A Memoir of Race, Rebellion and Reconciliation by Annahid Dashtgard and Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. 

Stay connected with Lauren: https://www.instagram.com/laurenaisharc/

Email Lauren: laurenaisharc@outlook.com