Kat and Sara hold a seance to speak to all the dead spouses in vintage Hallmark movies, inspired by the first Darrow and Darrow movie.

Did you skip two grades and turn out just fine? Email us at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

Kat is back at the recap game since Sara recently joined a "self-help" group that took away all her electronics. Using a satellite phone and some turkey calls, they cobbled together an episode on the final Chronicle Mysteries: Helped to Death.

Email us what you imagined Ivy did to get the blue moth fungus at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

It's your Dirty Santa gift from HFM! Sara and Kat start a new holiday tradition of helping a depressed child write a special song about getting their mom laid, inspired by 2015's A Christmas Melody. This classic stars Logan, Tess, and.... Mariah Carey.

Apparently MC did "write" the song from the finale, and later "adapted its lyrics to be relevant for a child singing about her single mother finding love."

You can email us about your special relationship with your school custodian at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

Sara and Kat are inspired to start a swim class for middle-aged men after watching the next installment of the Chronicle Mysteries.

Read more about men's sudden thirst for extracurriculars upon becoming fathers here at Reductress.

You can send us your duffels full of cash at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

Sara and Kat plant their feet in some very immoral soil during the latest Chronicle Mysteries.

You can reach us at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

Kat gifts Sara her very best piece of river trash, to celebrate their return to the Chronicle Mysteries.

Don't upset Glen! If you need to dispose of old electronics, Best Buy and Home Depot have recycling programs: https://shorturl.at/7aZKf.

If you have counterfeit olive oil to sell us, email us at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

Kat ziplines Sara into a huge foam ball pit, inspired by the first Chronicle Mystery.

Send us a blank postcard at hallmarkedformurder@gmail.com.

Professional chef Jason gets into the wild boar meat of this movie with Sara and Kat by preparing several litigation-worthy but delicious absinthe-based dishes.