Prelude: Summers are always such turning points and times for reflection, reinvention and redirection. I’ve always wanted to capture the essence of that grueling yet exciting feeling in some form of content, so here it goes. 

Note: This is not a romanticization of not making decisions. Committing to something is always better than being frozen in the task of choosing.  

This episode is Ellie and me discussing whether or not I should move back to college for the fall or take another leave of absence. Rather, I contemplate my decision out loud while Ellie adds to it by asking me questions about myself. 

There is always the question of time and opportunity cost; is going back to school the best thing I could do for myself right now? What is the next best thing? Is school better than the next best thing? 

I admit  that COVID has allowed me to try all of the things that I could not because of school-related time constraints: work at a mall, start a business, start this podcast, etc. During this time, I was able to explore who I was outside of school. 

Although  this was freeing, I found there to be so many roadblocks to the things that I wanted to do, and it made going back to my institution for more education appealing for the first time in a long time (I was on the verge of dropping out). 

Annnd...there is also the apprehension of going long-distance while being one half of a budding relationship that stops me from making a split second decision. More on this subject will follow in later episodes. 

Anyways, I do reach a decision at the end of the episode. I’m sure it is already obvious which path I am going down ¬‿¬. 

-Kaytie