William Pate-DeMyers, you have the right to remain silent. No really, please quit talking.

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Smuggling contraband into a prison is tricky. Especially when you think you're being tricky but you're really not all that tricky.

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29-year-old Barath Gopal took things a little too far for some time off from work. It started with the little white lie that his Grandfather had died. It ended with the white collar crime of forgery when Barath's boss asked to see the death certificate.

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The headline will make sense only AFTER you listen to the story.

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41-year-old James Kennedy thought things through, but there are always variables. He left his car running while committing a home invasion. Somehow, through an odd series of events, the victim was able to get out of the house and drive away in James' warmed-up ride. James was eventually arrested.

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They haven't caught up with him yet but, considering the average speed of a riding lawnmower, it shouldn't be too long. The unidentified (and most likely intoxicated) man either hates mailboxes, or just can't see them.

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25-year-old Josh Mansfield learned that hard way what "covering your tracks" really means. Police found him hiding in someone's backyard garden after stealing, and crashing, a BMW. All they had to do was follow his footprints. It was January, it had snowed.

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Aarron Ragan and Allan Richards, both 27, tempted fate by stopping and asking police for directions. They had meth in the car and a drug-sniffing dog found it. Ironically, the pair had already arrived at their destination and didn't need directions at all.

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