It was the time of guitar bands, deep shag pile carpets and sweeping archways. You know what I’m talking about if you’re smiling at those keywords. You were once knee-deep in the 70’s revolution, enjoying life as it was meant.

What a groovy time in history! What a decade!

That’s how it felt for me this week when I found myself in a suburb that seemed to be frozen in the seventies era. I couldn’t believe it. How could an entire neighbourhood trap itself in a decade? I get it when one or two homes hang onto an old theme, but a whole cluster? Someone loved their 70’s experiences.

What about those brick archways that slap a big fat date on a home? And there’s even more brick around them, brown carpet and brown stained glass. Timber, brick and mission brown fences became a canvas for everything — light brown leather lounge suites and dark brown lazy boys. Stereo systems came in rich mahogany or walnut. It’s hard to imagine such dark tones in today’s modern homes!

Remember the Flake-lady? Y’know, she was the TV chick blowing a chocolate bar, so consumers bought more of their product? Every girl wanted to go down on that chocolate bar, and every guy wanted to be a chocolate bar. (What’s wrong with a cocaine-fuelled, hedonistic decade driving unadulterated sexuality?)

That brings us to Farrah Fawcett’s shoulder! That dead sexy 70’s icon hooked me — and that’s when I discovered that backlighting was marvellous. Everyone should have a backlight kit to look that good. Ill-fitting clothes go a long way to produce that barely dressed look (or, I’m in the middle of getting undressed look).

Remember key parties? Pop a pill, swap a wife, and everyone goes home happy. The only risk was waking up beside your own, not the Farrah lookalike with the sexy shoulder and two hungry eyes across the room. (That’s not supposed to happen!).

History probably didn’t go that way for everyone, but that’s what this writer imagined might’ve happened inside a neighbourhood frozen in the time of discos and corduroys.

-M