Resources

Episode 74. How to Develop Appropriate and Effective Consequences that Empower Responsibility

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We know firsthand that parenting in a blended family isn’t the same as parenting in a first family. A biological parent's role is crucial in helping kids adjust to change, supporting step-relationships, and keeping things running smoothly.

But here’s the challenge—many bio parents either hold too tightly to their old parenting patterns or step back too quickly and expect their spouse to fill in. Both can create major tension.

In this episode, we’re breaking down the four key facets of parenting and defining the roles and responsibilities of the bio-parent:

• Meeting practical needs while avoiding unnecessary friction
• Providing support while managing shifting priorities
• Teaching important life lessons - and overcoming parental blind spots
• Delivering discipline in a way that strengthens relationships rather than tearing them apart

If you’ve ever felt stuck between your kids and your spouse—or if you’ve struggled with guilt, fear, or parental paralysis—this episode is for you.

You'll Discover:

• The most common 'easy wrong turns' that bio parents make when trying to “blend” the family
• How to avoid creating unnecessary frustration, and resentment in your home
• Why bio parents need to lead in discipline—and how to set step relationships up for success
• How to provide boundaries and emotional support for your kids without letting guilt or fear take over
• Strategies for building an effective parenting partnership — even when you see things differently

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 204. 4 Facets of Parenting: Clarifying the Roles and Responsibilities (Part 1)
• Episode 163. How Intentionality Helped One Couple to Accomplish a Successful Blend [with Sean & Staci]
• Episode 81. How a Missing Bio-Parent Impacts Kids in the Delicate Blending Process (Part 1 of 2)
• Episode 132. How do loss and grief impact blended family integration?
• Episode 108. 3 Unity Breakers that are Detrimental to Your Connection and How You Can Avoid Them
• Episode 139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple Experiences (Trapped Teammate / Stranded Stranger Dynamic)
• Episode 168. Actionable Steps For Helping Kids Navigate Through Difficult Emotions and Problem Solve
• Episode 49. Should your highest priority be your marriage - or your kids?
• Episode 25. How to Survive Time Alone with Your Step-Kids (Transfer of Power Strategy)
• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Resources

Episode 136. How to Intentionally Create Positive Family Time and Reduce Relational Tension

Episode 149. How to "Blend" Holiday Traditions and Create Meaningful Connection This Season

Episode 85. How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family [with Ron Deal]

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!

We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Stepparenting raises many questions: What’s my role? How involved should I be? What if my stepkids don’t accept me?

It’s easy to make wrong turns without even realizing it.

In this episode, we’re delving into four key facets of parenting: meeting practical needs, providing support, teaching life lessons, and delivering discipline. We'll uncover the unique roles and responsibilities of a stepparent regarding each facet and define what's appropriate and inappropriate.

If you’re feeling frustrated, disconnected, or unsure how to navigate parenting in your blended family, this conversation is for you!

We’ll share best practices, real-life examples (yes, including our own!), and strategies to help you stay in your lane while building healthy bonds with your stepkids and strengthening your parenting partnership.

You'll Discover:

• Why stepparents should focus on connection before correction
• How to support your stepkids and meet practical needs without overstepping or experiencing resentment
• The best approach for building genuine connection, trust, and respect with your stepkids
• Why delivering discipline too soon can backfire—and what to do instead
• A simple but powerful strategy to create a strong parenting partnership with your spouse and reduce tension in your home

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 47. How to Like Your Stepchild Even When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed
• Episode 39. How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Stepkids
• Episode 9. A Surprisingly Simple Strategy for Bonding with Step-Kids
• Episode 29. What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?
• Episode 102. 4 Revealing Myths About 1 on 1 Time Between Parents and their Bio-Kids (Part 1 of 2)
• Episode 192. A Simple Process to Navigate Sensitive Conversations About Each Other's Kids
• Episode 25. How to Survive Time Alone with Your Step-Kids (Transfer of Power Strategy)
• Building Love Together in Blended Families by Ron Deal & Gary Chapman
• Stepparenting: Keeping it Sane by Charles Fay, Ph.D.
• In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema
• Preparing to Blend by Ron Deal

Ready for some extra support?

Connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!

We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

In this episode, we’re delving into a common challenge for blended family couples: decision-making and problem-solving. Whether managing kids’ expectations, negotiating with an ex, or facing the pain of being a “trapped teammate” or “stranded stranger,” disagreement and differing perspectives can create tension and keep you stuck.

We’ve been there ourselves, and we share relatable stories, including a meltdown at the mall over a swimsuit and how it almost derailed our unity. Plus, we unpack practical strategies that have been game-changers for us and the couples we coach.

We believe every blended couple needs a strategy for decision-making and problem-solving that helps them stay united and avoid confusion, pain, and disconnection. Grab a coffee, sit back, and let’s tackle this together.

You'll Discover

• How to avoid falling into the "trapped teammate" or "stranded stranger" dynamic.
• Three key “DON’TS” that will safeguard your relationship from unnecessary conflict.
• A powerful brainstorming hack to make decisions and solve problems as a united team.
• How to manage decision-making pressures from kids and ex-spouses.
• Practical tips to stay connected and strengthen teamwork in tough moments.

Resources from this Episode

• Episode 202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron and Nan Deal]
• Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience
• Episode 22: One Simple - and Romantic - Way to Combat Being Stranded or Trapped
• Episode 23: How to Move From Feeling Stranded to Being Connected
• Episode 24: What if You Could Relieve the Trapped Teammate Pressure?
• Episode 95: Do You Dread Negotiating Schedule Changes with your Ex - Try These 5 Practical Tips
• Episode 13: How to Parent as a Team in Your Blended Family
• Episode 83: 4 Everyday Favoritism Traps that Dishearten Kids in a Blended Family

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/

Resources

Episode 202. How to Break Free from Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron & Nan Deal]

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!

We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

No one enjoys being in conflict with their spouse. But the reality for every couple is that conflict is unavoidable.

We all experience disagreement that leads to conflict. But there's a big difference between doing conflict well versus spiraling into unproductive patterns where we say and do things that at best aren't helpful and at worst erode love and trust in our relationship.

You can probably relate. Your spouse does something that triggers a painful emotion and you react. You might blame, shame yourself, take control, or try to avoid the whole situation. It's natural and normal for all of us to react these ways, but you don't have to stay stuck in unproductive, damaging patterns. You can learn to do conflict well, just like we have!

In this episode, our friends Ron and Nan Deal share their personal journey. After hitting rock bottom in their marriage, finding restoration, and discovering the tools that transformed their relationship, they've written an amazing book called The Mindful Marriage. Their new book breaks down powerful concepts into relatable, practical steps for couples everywhere.

Ron and Nan are popular speakers who specialize in restoration therapy, blended families, and supporting grieving parents. Ron, a bestselling author, licensed marriage and family therapist, and podcaster, also serves as a senior director at FamilyLife. Nan, a retired teacher, now champions her community through Live Thankfully.

From navigating destructive cycles of conflict and emotional pain to increasing love, trust, and intimacy in your relationship — today's conversation is full of hope, encouragement, and actionable wisdom!

What You'll Learn:

• Identifying and breaking free from pain cycles in your relationship.
• Practical steps to create a “peace cycle” that strengthens love and trust.
• Insights into how family history impacts marriage dynamics.
• Why emotional regulation is a game-changer for blended families.
• The importance of “usness” in building a thriving relationship.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Mindful Marriage by Ron and Nan Deal
• Restoration Therapy model by Dr. Terry Hargrave
• Bonus materials are available at RonDeal.org

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Join us on April 5th for Blended & Blessed! Click here: https://www.blendedandblessed.com/