With multi-generational housing on the rise – aging parents moving in with their adult children — this segment looks at the complex issue from the child's point of view. Elder law attorney Andrea Lee from Legacy Estate Planning joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders podcast to talk about expectations and approaches.

Andrea says, "There's obviously many ways this can be set up... And the big question that we always want to advise is sitting down and formulating a plan of what that would look like, not just structurally, but emotionally. If mom and dad were to live in there, if mom and dad are investing hundreds of thousands of dollars to modify a house or to add an apartment, then the conversation needs to be had. My recommendation is two kitchens, two living areas. That has been a proven need to make long term care housing happy for everyone, is their home separate space, so you're not constantly in each other's hairs. But the conversation the child needs to have with their parent is, 'hey, if you're investing all this money and you're living with me, both parties need to be protected.' So you have to have a plan.

"What about the time when mom and dad die? What is going to happen with that money they've invested? Do they expect to be put on that deed? Do they expect to earn an ownership interest in that property, or are they going to treat it as a gift to the child and say, 'I'm giving you this $200, $300,000, and my hope is you let me live in this apartment that we're building. That creates a risk for the parent, because what if the kids change their minds after a few years? They don't want mom and dad to live there anymore. If it's a gift, the parents aren't protected. But if the parents own an ownership interest in that house, then it opens the kids up to the possibility of, if mom or dad die, and that becomes a part of their will, or distributed through their trust, might they be in a position where they have to sell their own house to pay off a sibling? You don't want them to be in that position either."

Andrea adds, "Many questions can arise if your parents are thinking of living with you. it's absolutely essential that the parent and the child sit down and discuss these possible scenarios. And because most people only do this once in their life, it is best done if that parent and that child sits down with professionals who have experience guiding families through creating multi-generational housing. So you can discuss the pros and the cons and the risks to the parents and to the child."

Learn more:

• About Andrea Lee
• Legacy Estate Planning website
• Legacy Estate Planning podcasts

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Since COVID, there has been a 40% increase in multi-generational housing: either senior parent or parents have moved in with their children, or kids who can’t afford to live on their own have moved back home again. For an aging parent, they wonder: should I sell my house? Should I invest money in my son or daughter's home? Should I move in with them? What does that mean for my overall estate plan, my assets? How does that affect the other heirs if I have other children? Elder law attorney Andrea Lee from Legacy Estate Planning joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders podcast to talk about this complex issue.

Andrea says, "I'm a huge proponent of multi-generational housing. If you want your kids to help you, it shouldn't be a burden to them. My own mom and dad bought a house half a mile from me, and that's what allowed us to keep my mom home for ten years after her dementia diagnosis, because we were able to support my dad and provide that care. And it's even easier if you can live within the same house, because that even decreases that burden of having to go somewhere else to help with that day to day care that people frequently need as they age.

"Now in some instances, maybe a multi-generational house itself is not the best option, or it's not feasible. But at minimum, you need to live within a mile of your kids... I was part of that sandwich generation, where I had young children at home and I had a mom and dad who needed help. And I'm an attorney, and I work full time. And it was overwhelming at times for me to try and balance my kids, their sports, their school, dinner, homework, work, and also care for my parents. And so for any parent who's out there, moving near your child so that they don't have to drive 30 minutes — that's an hour out of your day, that's valuable time that really causes a lot of stress for your children.

"One of the challenges I have found as an elder law attorney with multi-generational housing is combining two households. That's so hard to do, it can actually increase stress a lot. So if you want to live together, the goal is that it is beneficial for everyone, and not just you as a parent. First, take a step back and say, 'I want to make sure I'm not overly burdening my child,' and setting up that expectation of what your child is going to do for you, listening to them in their circumstances...

"Mom and dad are thinking, I'm going to make a very large investment. I'm going to remodel my son or my daughter's home so that I can have a downstairs living area that is wheelchair accessible, and that I can age in for the rest of my life. Well, then you have to have that conversation, if mom and dad died a few years later, that money has been invested into that child's house and the other children aren't going to get the benefit of that. So those parents need to make sure they've updated their estate plan. They've created a deed that allows that resource to then pass to the child with whom they're living. Or if that's not what they want, they have to have that clear conversation and expectation with that child. But also with other members of the family, they don't want to be in a circumstance where mom and dad die. Something happens. They can no longer remain in that home, and people are fighting over the investment mom and dad made into living there. And what's going to happen to that? There's so many ways it can go wrong, that's extremely important for clients who are considering doing this, sit down with an expert who has a lot of knowledge of multi-generational housing and issues that need to be addressed when making that decision."

Learn more:

• About Andrea Lee
• Legacy Estate Planning website

Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about providing nationwide assistance for people seeking answers.

Daphne says, "When you're looking for someone to help you guide you through this maze of options, ask for referrals in terms of what are other families — and I would specifically ask for, I want to know about your hardest ones. You know, I want to know about the ones that you had to work hard. What was the outcome? And it doesn't have to be all rosy. We're human beings, right? We know that things can go sideways. That's the uniqueness of each story.

"I am president of the chapter in the State of Washington for NPRA, the National Placement and Referral Alliance. It is a trade association specific for referral and placement agencies. They have a code of ethics that they are developing nationwide, much like you would think of the Bar Association for attorneys, but certainly not at that level of sophistication. It allows me to be able to have vetted people in most states that can provide the level of guidance that I would want for for any of my clients.

"And so that really does my heart well in terms of being able to be a part of Answers for Elders and having this nationwide presence, that we can start to establish a a litmus, a benchmark of what consumers can expect. And the other piece that NPRA does is really focuses on legislation about family choice, being able to protect our seniors and not being bombarded by a constant information that's not appropriate or feeling like they don't have choice. So that's something that NPRA is very, very focused on. I wanted to share with you that information on how can I help people nationwide when I'm sitting in the Seattle greater area."

Daphne adds, "It's very hard to know who I'm supposed to trust these days. And so there's there's some ways of just vetting people through NPRA. There's a test that's designed specifically for referral agencies, and you can look for a little CPRS [logo], which is Certified Placement and Referral Specialist, and it's very akin to little letters behind someone's name. CSA, Certified Senior Advisor. And the difference between the two is the CSA is broad — it's for many, many different disciplines of help and support to our senior communities — and the CPRS is specific to [people] like myself. So that's one thing that you can look for."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

• Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders
• About Daphne Davis
• Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to share her top five tips for choosing a referral agent, specifically to help you find medical assistance for a senior loved one, or to choose a senior living community for them.

1. Meet face to face.
2. Make sure they can refer you to every available option, not just the ones they have contracts with.
3. They will go with you when you tour facilities.
4. They will stay with you and help during the transition time.
5. Make sure you are comfortable enough to ask questions and share family secrets.

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

• Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders
• About Daphne Davis
• Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about why and how to choose a referral agent to help with making choices about a senior parent.

Daphne says, "When you don't have enough information about making a really serious decision or consequential decision, inevitably what I have found is that people have to make another decision in a very short amount of time. What is the right fit for my mom or dad? I don't want to limit it to just talking to adult children and talking about your mom and dad, but let me just generically paint that picture. Even if you're looking for yourself, having enough information so that you don't have to move again is probably one of the things that could motivate consumers to want to explore a referral agent.

"Many times we can think we can do this ourselves [with] a computer and the Internet... But in this scenario, people are very unique, and they do not fit into a cookie cutter, one-size-fits-all group... It's so important to me to find to be able to meet the loved one. And I don't I don't care if it's for 2 minutes or 2 hours. There's a uniqueness in the energy of your loved one that is important to pick up on. And that's one of the things that in choosing a referral agent, make sure that they're not going to just work off of piece of paper of symptoms and general allergies... Inviting a professional to help you in figuring out where is your mom or dad right now, or where are you right now in the journey of life? What chapter of life are you in to have someone be able to come in and take a snapshot picture of today?"

Daphne adds, "What are our highest values in making this move? Why are we making this move? What are the things that have to exist in this new place called home for your loved one? Once you've established what those highest values are, then you as a family — and I'm going to just talk as a family — you can keep each other accountable to that litmus to that list of highest values and not get in the weeds, but mom really liked doing Fill in the Blank. And she was 40 years old when she did that... So sticking to what are the highest values, that's what a referral agent will do, will help walk through discovering what are the important things to talk about.

"I'm going to generically say in our later years in life, whatever number that starts out, but 80, 90 years old, being able to to say, what is it today? Yeah, Dad used to like to go out and go fishing and he still has that interest, but he's not fishing anymore. But now he wants to talk about it. Or now he wants to educate other people about how fishing, or he wants to be proud of his collection of fly fishing poles, whatever it is... it's not choosing a community that he gets to go out on the river and go fishing."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

• Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders
• About Daphne Davis
• Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

If you're faced with the daunting challenge of helping a senior loved one find medical assistance after an injury or choose a senior living community to move to, you're not alone. Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about finding a referral agent to help answer those questions.

Daphne says, "I have 25 years of being able to see some patterns in this industry of housing and care for elders and seniors. What I'm seeing now is a lot of hesitation and people not sure who they can trust. I'm seeing families come to me and say, 'I just don't have enough information. Why are people not telling me what's going on with my mom or dad? I don't know what direction to go.' It used to be this way Medicare covered X, Y, and Z, and now I'm finding out they don't cover that anymore...

"If you think of a hospital and what used to happen there was, you had something get diagnosed or responded to in the E.R., you had some time to recover. If you have surgery, you have some time to recover. That's not the case anymore. Now they ship you off to rehab... and, well, what's rehab, what's skilled nursing, what is this? And what can I expect there?

"Do I take mom home? Do we do in-home care? Do we contract through our insurance, Medicare insurance? Do I have P.T.A. and speech therapy come in? Do I go to an assisted living? Physical therapy or occupational therapy? Or do I look at assisted living?"

Daphne adds, "What are you going to get when you have chosen someone to help you, whether it be in a referral agency, or a moving company, or an elder law attorney? I'm really looking forward to talking about the subject of, what do you look for in a referral agent? We do have referral agents available nationwide. Each state has their own requirements of what a referral agent can and can't do. And some states are more sophisticated about having requirements in terms of how to run their business.

"In general, I get to come in, hear the story, do some research, go on a tour, show you what's available out there, and then you, the family, have some guidance to make an informed decision."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

• Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders
• About Daphne Davis
• Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

If you're single, it's much harder to plan financially in advance for retirement, as there are more options available for married couples. To alleviate worries about finances and aging, or the possibility of an unhealthy retirement where you might face a chronic illness, you may want to research alternative living facilities on your own ahead of time, or prepare irrevocable trusts to preserve assets. Elder law attorney Andrea Lee from Legacy Estate Planning joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders podcast to talk about various ways single folks can protect their assets for retirement and beyond.

Andrea says, "I have found that frequently single individuals have a whole other set of challenges that they need to face when doing their estate and long term care planning. If there's a spouse, there are significant things that we can do to preserve assets. And unfortunately, so many single people just don't have those same resources. And it's oftentimes a huge stress and a burden for them as they anticipate aging. Hopefully they've met with a financial advisor or someone who's a little bit knowledgeable and developed a budget and a plan to make their money last."

Andrea adds, "I do recommend people plan to live to 100. Not many of us make it, but some do. So it's better to plan for it. But for single people, especially if they are concerned about long term care, I do get that phone call frequently where somebody is saying I have adequate resources to pay for healthy retirement, but I am concerned about unhealthy retirement. I'm concerned about the stroke, I'm concerned about dementia, I'm concerned about ALS, or any type of [chronic illness]... For single people, unfortunately, there are not as many good options if you're facing incapacity and needing long term care. What's the priority? And it's definitely putting in place that financial power attorney, putting in place that health care power of attorney.

"But I would say it's also being much more conscientious about planning for the future incapacity and ensuring you have adequate resources and adequate plans to pay for that. If people are single, they have adequate resources, we want to look at long term care insurance. Is that a viable option for you? It's important. It's essential to have a housing plan in place. It's essential to sit down and say, you know, if I become incapacitated, what do I want that to look like from a practical standpoint? Because you might not have a spouse to step in and make those decisions for you. And so the question is, hey, can someone take care of me at home? Do I have the resources to hire someone if I don't have family members who can step in? And if neither of those are true, what are the alternatives that I would feel comfortable with?

"So the beauty is there are a lot of options available to single people, but don't wait to plan. Sit down with an estate planning, an elder law attorney. Sit down with your family members, and have that hard conversation about what can people do for you, what are their boundaries."

Learn more:

• About Andrea Lee
• Legacy Estate Planning website
• Legacy Estate Planning podcasts

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Silver Sneakers is the only fitness program that provides financial rewards for staying fit. Members can grow a college fund for a loved one. So even if a senior is on a fixed income, they can actually provide money for a grandchild's college tuition. It's a great motivator to get exercising — people will often do for others what they won't do for themselves.

Jan Sheeley explains, "When they go to either a gym or take an online class seven times a month, they can win $250 that goes into your college fund for a loved one."

The program is available through Silver Sneakers, free fitness benefits available to senior loved ones through their Medicare Advantage program.

Visit https://tools.silversneakers.com/ to see if you have the Silver Sneakers program available in your Medicare Advantage. To sign up for the college tuition reward, visit silversneakers.tuitionrewards.com.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.