
You're Not the Problem
The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal
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Narrated by:
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Helen Villiers
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Katie McKenna
About this listen
Two popular psychotherapists explore narcissism in family of origin, unpacking the fallout from being raised by narcissistic parents, and offering strategies for how to heal.
Many emotionally abusive behaviors from parent to child have become socially acceptable because of the way we repeat things our parents said and did, things passed down from generation to generation that persist today. You're Not the Problem enables us to recognize these behaviors and realize the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners and friends. It also shows us how to heal on a personal level but also on a societal level. The legacy and the damage caused by narcissistic and emotional abuse will carry on, perpetuated by trauma and repeating cycles, unless we learn to recognize and understand it, unless we as individuals and as a society learn how to challenge it and stop its vicious cycle of destruction—which is what this book sets out to do.
This book will explain and illustrate:
- How to recognize emotional abuse in family relationships: its language and behaviors
- The immediate and long term impact of these behaviors
- Strategies for healing
- How to avoid repeating these behaviors
Using client narratives and sample scripts, Villiers and McKenna offer a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at our familial patterns—and how we can break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim our lives.
©2024 Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna (P)2024 Hachette GoListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
If you were raised by a narcissistic mother and are struggling with the lingering effects of a toxic upbringing, this is the road map you need to heal the past and thrive in the present and future.
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I really needed this!
- By Rachael E on 01-28-23
By: Stephanie M. Kriesberg PsyD, and others
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It's Not You
- Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD, Maria Shriver
- Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s not always easy to tell when you’re dealing with a narcissist. One day they draw you in with their confidence and charisma, the next they gaslight you, wreck your self-confidence, and leave you wondering, What could I have done differently? As Dr. Ramani Durvasula reveals in It's Not You, the answer is: absolutely nothing. Just as a tiger can’t change its stripes, a narcissist won’t stop manipulating and invalidating you. To heal in the aftermath of their abuse and protect yourself from future harm, you first have to accept that you are not to blame.
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I needed this
- By Austin E. Jonas Jr. on 03-02-24
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Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People
- Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Rachel Perry
- Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met or dismissed—and you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, and abandonment. As an adult, you have fought hard to establish your own sense of self, and heal the wounds caused by your upbringing. But what about other emotionally immature people (EIP) in your life? As an adult child of an emotionally immature parent (ACEIP), you may be particularly vulnerable to EIPs.
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Perhaps the most impactful book of my life
- By MER on 11-16-23
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Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare
- How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
- By: Shahida Arabi
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 19 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual.
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Finally
- By zero on 12-08-16
By: Shahida Arabi
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
- By: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Narrated by: Ramani Durvasula PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Should I Stay or Should I Go? is a survival manual, a guidebook, and a shot of reality. Some people will never change, and kissing frogs is the stuff of fairy tales, not real life. The Beast never turns out to be a nice guy (or gal). This is a book that breaks down what mean people do to us, how they do it, and what we can do to survive.
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Wake up call !
- By sashy on 08-18-16
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Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD (4 Books in 1)
- Workbook and Guide to Overcome Trauma, Toxic Relationships, ... and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships)
- By: Linda Hill
- Narrated by: S. L. Albert, Vicky David, Alene Sorensen
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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This groundbreaking book includes four books that will teach you from start to finish, everything you need to know about Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD, as well as how to recover from each one of them.
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Better understanding and clarity
- By Amber Glover on 02-15-23
By: Linda Hill
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It Didn't Start with You
- How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
- By: Mark Wolynn
- Narrated by: Mark Wolynn
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over 20 years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms.
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It Didn't Start With You
- By Deborah J. on 10-14-18
By: Mark Wolynn
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Psychopath Free: Expanded Edition
- Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths & Other Toxic People
- By: Jackson MacKenzie
- Narrated by: Shaun Grindell
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves. Psychopath Free will help you out of the darkness so that you can begin making better choices that will forever alter the course of your life. So say farewell to love triangles, cryptic letters, self-doubt, and manufactured anxiety. You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.
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Be kind to yourself and read this book.
- By GoodMonster on 09-19-15
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Whole Again
- Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse
- By: Jackson MacKenzie, Shannon Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith, Erin Spencer
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Jackson MacKenzie has helped millions of people in their struggle to understand the experience of toxic relationships. His first book, Psychopath Free, explained how to identify and survive the immediate situation. In this highly anticipated new audiobook, he guides listeners on what to do next - how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. MacKenzie shares insights and tools for working through the protective self we've developed so that we can finally move on to live a full and authentic life.
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Good content, but to much repeat
- By Adri on 03-23-19
By: Jackson MacKenzie, and others
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Trauma Bonding: Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
- Narcissistic Relationship Recovery, Book 1
- By: Lauren Kozlowski
- Narrated by: Stephanie Murphy
- Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too - because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.
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Not relevant for everyone dealing with trauma bonding
- By Alesia Braund on 11-18-20
By: Lauren Kozlowski
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The Narcissist's Playbook
- How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People
- By: Dana Morningstar
- Narrated by: Dana Morningstar
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you have a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath in your life, or think that you might? Do you continually feel anxious around someone in your life, but can’t pinpoint why?...Perhaps you know you are being manipulated or abused, but don’t know how to make it stop. The Narcissist’s Playbook can help. You can take back your life.
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powerful
- By All Dolled Up on 01-17-20
By: Dana Morningstar
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Healing from Hidden Abuse
- A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
- By: Shannon Thomas LCSW
- Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Within every community, toxic people can be found hiding in families, couples, companies, and places of worship. The cryptic nature of psychological abuse involves repetitious mind games played by one individual or a group of people. Psychological abuse leaves no bruises. There are no broken bones. There are no holes in the walls. The bruises, brokenness, and holes are held tightly within the target of the abuse.
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Proceed with caution
- By Kamel on 10-17-18
What listeners say about You're Not the Problem
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- Isabelle L.
- 07-17-24
Validating and Helpful
Gives clear, relatable examples while explaining behaviors and providing constructive means for growth with enough information to provide a thorough understanding — without being too clinical to follow. I felt like I got a lot from this book.
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- Tracy S
- 04-26-24
Great and helpful
Really liked this- gave examples, exercises, and well put together. Great help for anyone in this situation
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- Anna B
- 04-12-24
Helps those of us with Narc family
Love this book and the authors. Helping the world heal. As a daughter of a NM this has helped so much.
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- david irace
- 04-12-24
amazing work
this book is a wonderful guide to understand narcissist behavior and to heal from the wounds it can cause
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-28-24
Finally, healing
I’ve listened to a lot of books about my abusive childhood. This is the first one that actually helped me begin healing by validating the struggles with how to fu@& do it. The exercises in ch 10 are bookmarked!! The describe myself activity in particular broke down a wall for me. I am not what my family describes me as and the people I love being around see me for who I truly am. Thank you, authors for giving that gift to me. My self hatred was not my fault, their voices were just too loud and hateful. I was never the problem. 🥹
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- Audible Listener
- 04-11-24
Highly reccomend
There is a good deal of information in this book, and it's presented in a way that is both compassionate and easy to understand. I felt encouraged, validated, challenged even called out in some instances. Great experience, healthy learns, and cause for reflection.
I'm definitely going to listen to this again.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-17-24
Life changing
Excellent resource for understanding and healing narcissistic abuse. Recommend for the children and partners of individuals with NPD.
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- Kyle Crist
- 05-04-24
Renewal through reflection
This book is incredibly helpful. It is very challenging to face trauma and open up our armor, but it is well worth it. If you are on the fence, perhaps because you don't think you experience was THAT bad, get the book.
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- Amanda Belec
- 08-13-24
WOW absolutely WOW
It’s going to hurt but you will have your eyes opened to the world you missed around you.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-16-24
Life changing
So much information to absorb in a short amount of time. So I will be reading this again, at least one more time. This book is life changing. I would suggest anyone that has had to love with a narcissistic family member or spouse to dive in!
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1 person found this helpful