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You Better Watch Out
- Narrated by: Jim D Johnston
- Length: 27 mins
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Publisher's summary
There is something seriously wrong with Santa this year, and he's coming for you.
Santa Claus ruined his life. He saw him as a child, flying across the sky in his reindeer-pulled sleigh, and this vision grew into a long-time obsession. He eventually learned the truth about Santa. The dark, horrifying truth.
Seth Chambers spent much of his formative years happily engrossed in the works of Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clarke, Theodore Sturgeon, Alfred Bester, and numerous other science fiction masters.
Seth is the author of What Rough Beasts, Little Bird, and Beautiful Machines. His novella "In Her Eyes" was a nominee for the Sturgeon award and an honoree of the James Tiptree award. Seth lives in the Chicago area and can be contacted directly at SethChambersAuthor@gmail.com
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Story
After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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Murphy's Boy
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Loretta Rawlins
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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His name was Kevin but his keepers called him Zoo Boy. He didn't talk. He hid under tables and surrounded himself with a cage of chairs. He hadn't been out of the building in the four years since he'd come in. He was afraid of water and wouldn't take a shower. He was afraid to be naked, to change his clothes. He was nearly 16. Desperate to see change in the boy, the staff of Kevin's adolescent treatment center hired Hayden. As Hayden read to him and encouraged him to read, crawling down into his cage of chairs with him, Kevin talked.
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want to meet Kevin
- By Cherish on 10-14-15
By: Torey Hayden
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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The Ishbane Conspiracy
- By: Randy Alcorn
- Narrated by: Randy Alcorn
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Abridged
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Jillian is picture perfect on the outside but terrified of getting hurt on the inside. Brittany is a tough girl who trusts almost no one. Ian is a successful athlete who dabbles in the occult. And Rob is a former gang banger who struggles with guilt, pain, and a newfound faith in God. These four college students will face the ultimate battle between good and evil in a single year.
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Story great; Narrator not
- By An Amazon Customer on 01-27-20
By: Randy Alcorn
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The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks)
- By: Jennifer Lynch
- Narrated by: Sheryl Lee
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Lifeless and wrapped in plastic. This is how Sheryl Lee was first introduced as "Laura Palmer" in the cult television classic, Twin Peaks. Now, Sheryl returns to voice Laura's darkest secrets in the audiobook event that fans of the show have long awaited.
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Wrapped in plastic
- By Phillip Frangules on 05-08-17
By: Jennifer Lynch
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven
- Or, How I Made Peace with the Paranormal and Stigmatized Zealots and Cynics in the Process
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In this book, Corey Taylor undertakes something never before attempted in the history of rock superstardom: he takes you with him as he journeys undercover through various ghostbusting groups who do their best to gather information and evidence about the existence of spirits. Taylor also gives you a behind-the-scenes tour of his crazy life and the many beyond-the-grave events he's encountered. (You'll be shocked how often Slipknot has been invaded by the supernatural).
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Too Much Padding
- By W. Maughan on 01-26-16
By: Corey Taylor
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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The Hour I First Believed
- A Novel
- By: Wally Lamb
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 25 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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When high-school teacher Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, while Caelum is away, Maureen finds herself in the library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed. Miraculously, she survives. But when Caelum and Maureen flee to an illusion of safety on the Quirk family's Connecticut farm, they discover that the effects of chaos are not easily put right.
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excellent all around yarn
- By G. on 01-10-09
By: Wally Lamb
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Kissing Games of the World
- By: Sandi Kahn Shelton
- Narrated by: Myra Platt
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
What listeners say about You Better Watch Out
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- ReadingRover
- 12-11-19
Solid holiday themed short story w/ a dark side
If anyone knows anything about me they know I love a good holiday themed story and what I love even more is a holiday themed story with a dark edge to it. This one fit the bill! It was just what I needed to start off the Christmas season. It starts with a kid who believes in Santa and things go downhill from there. So great! Also, how could I resist I story that references Wilfred Brimley and “the diabeetus”. If you don’t know what I’m talking about definitely look it up on YouTube and you’ll be laughing your ass off. The narrator for the audiobook was solid. He suited the story and did a good Santa voice. Overall I was really happy with this one. 4 stars!
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- Connie
- 12-07-19
Wild Story and the Narrator rocks
This was a very entertaining short story, but the Narrator/Producer took the book to an all new level.
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- James Nance
- 12-05-19
5 star
Excellent listen with genuine LOL moments. Provides an entertaining twist to the Santa Myth. Highly recommend a listen!!
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- Deedra
- 12-07-19
You better watch out!
Loved it!Very funny! Jim D. Johnston was a great narrator! I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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