
What the Hell Did I Just Read
A Novel of Cosmic Horror
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Narrated by:
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Stephen R. Thorne
About this listen
It's the story "They" don't want you to listen to. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached". No, don't put the book back on the shelf - it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from listening to it. Yes, it works with audiobooks, too, I don't have time to explain how.
While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John, and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they - like you - would be better off not knowing.
Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome - and, to be frank, stupid - cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for.
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Cold Moon over Babylon
- Valancourt 20th Century Classics
- By: Michael McDowell
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to Babylon, a typical sleepy Alabama small town, where years earlier the Larkin family suffered a terrible tragedy. Now they are about to endure another: 14-year-old Margaret Larkin will be robbed of her innocence and her life by a killer who is beyond the reach of the law. But something strange is happening in Babylon: traffic lights flash an eerie blue, a ghostly hand slithers from the drain of a kitchen sink, graves erupt from the local cemetery in an implacable march of terror.
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Best audible listen to date...
- By Breezybealle on 06-27-16
By: Michael McDowell
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack
- Books 1-2
- By: D.M. Guay
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
- By AJ on 11-29-20
By: D.M. Guay
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Necronomicon
- The Wanderings of Alhazred
- By: Donald Tyson
- Narrated by: Matt Godfrey
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Anyone familiar with H. P. Lovecraft's work knows of the Necronomicon, the black-magic grimoire he invented as a literary prop in his classic horror stories. There have been several attempts at creating this text, yet none stand up to Lovecraft's own descriptions of the Necronomicon...until now. Fans of Lovecraftian magic and occult fiction will delight in Donald Tyson's Necronomicon, based purely within Lovecraft's own fictional universe, the Cthulhu Mythos.
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Not loyal to established lore
- By WillyWonka on 02-13-21
By: Donald Tyson
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Lullaby
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author of Fight Club, which was adapted into a major motion picture, Chuck Palahniuk offers a haunting tale. Winner of the Northwest Booksellers Association Award, Palahniuk is one of the rare literary geniuses who has been able to bridge the gap between a cult following and commercial success.
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Palahniuk's New Hit
- By RockyToTheMoon on 01-12-05
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Short Horror Stories, Vol. 1-27
- Scary Ghosts, Paranormal & Supernatural Horror Short Stories Anthology
- By: Scare Street
- Narrated by: Thom Bowers, John Pirhalla
- Length: 42 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Unlock the gates to a world of fear with Short Horror Stories Vol. 1-27. Perfect for both horror aficionados and newcomers to the genre, this collection of over 80 meticulously crafted short stories promises an intense experience of pure, unrelenting fear. Each story is a journey that will take you to a maelstrom of dread and suspense. From sinister urban legends and eerie encounters to unsettling tales of psychological horror, this anthology delivers an array of nightmares that will grip your imagination and refuse to let go.
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ehhhh
- By Anonymous User on 02-03-25
By: Scare Street
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Head Like a Hole
- By: Andrew Van Wey
- Narrated by: Tom Jordan
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s the mid-'90s. Grunge and flannel are fading as the Spice Girls and Hot Topic conquer the malls. Cherry gloss glistens on the lips of the youth. Modems hiss as America comes online. And in a fog-drenched cove at the edge of New England, something terrible awakens when a fisherman reels in a gruesome catch: the remains of a young woman. Remains still pulsing with furious life.
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Very Original Horror Story
- By Mistsofjade on 12-12-22
By: Andrew Van Wey
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Interview with the Devil
- By: Michael Harbron
- Narrated by: Eric Priessman
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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"Interview with the Devil" is a compelling tale that invites listeners to explore the depths of their convictions and the possibility of redemption in the darkest of narratives. Through a tapestry of philosophical exploration and cosmic intrigue, this novel questions the essence of humanity and the intricate dance of fate and free will.
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No interview until the end. Then ends abruptly.
- By Mark Silverman on 02-14-25
By: Michael Harbron
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Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One
- By: Jack Townsend
- Narrated by: MrCreepyPasta
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Drunk customers. Shoplifting raccoons. Otherworldly visitors. As night shift clerk at the 24-hour gas station at the edge of town, Jack has pretty much seen it all.
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???
- By Avery Adair on 11-27-23
By: Jack Townsend
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Tell Me I'm Worthless
- By: Alison Rumfitt
- Narrated by: Nicky Endres
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends, Ila and Hannah. Since then, Alice’s life has spiraled. She lives a haunted existence, selling videos of herself for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep.
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Better Buy Tylenol
- By Silas Hunter on 08-14-23
By: Alison Rumfitt
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By the Light of Dead Stars
- Beyond the Lost Coast, Book 1
- By: Andrew Van Wey
- Narrated by: Tom Jordan
- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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When tragedy shatters 13-year-old Zelda Ruiz’s adolescence, she retreats with her uncle Mark to the bucolic town of Greywood Bay. But nothing can prepare them for the malignant terror that has long coveted these lands.
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Troubled town torn apart by its secrets
- By Lori on 07-03-23
By: Andrew Van Wey
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Baby Teeth
- A Novel
- By: Zoje Stage
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Suzette knows her clever and manipulative seven-year-old daughter doesn’t love her. She can see the hatred and jealousy in her eyes. And as Hanna’s subtle acts of cruelty threaten to tear her and her husband apart, Suzette fears her very life may be in grave danger....
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Immediately Gripping
- By T on 07-18-18
By: Zoje Stage
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14
- By: Peter Clines
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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There are some odd things about Nate’s new apartment. Of course, he has other things on his mind. He hates his job. He has no money in the bank. No girlfriend. No plans for the future. So while his new home isn’t perfect, it’s livable. The rent is low, the property managers are friendly, and the odd little mysteries don’t nag at him too much. At least, not until he meets Mandy, his neighbor across the hall, and notices something unusual about her apartment. And Xela’s apartment. And Tim’s. And Veek’s.
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Super solid listen!!
- By Magpie on 06-24-12
By: Peter Clines
What listeners say about What the Hell Did I Just Read
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- Dan Schmidt
- 10-20-22
I Love These Books and I Love Stephen R. Thorne
I really just have to say that Stephen R. Thorne does this series so much justice in his performances. I love the immature far out sci fi unintelligible mess of a universe Jason has created with this series and I think the narration and the voices Stephen lends to the characters and their conversations just tickles something in me that has me always returning to this series over years. Something about how he plays John and just the delivery of many punch lines is perfect to me and ill return to this series, im sure, always. These stories might not be for everyone, but as for a ride that'll grab you by the shirt and yank you through multiple dimensions, its certainly worth the trip.
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- Richard
- 12-17-20
A middling entry in a fantastic series.
Worth reading, but not near as good as the previous two entries in the series.
I would not hesitate to recommend John Dies at the End or Spiders... but this one just wasn't as impactful to me..
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- Anonymous User
- 05-21-18
just as amazing as all the rest 😊
cant wait for more. i will never get tired of reading these amazing stories! time to go check out the website!
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- Canyon R.
- 06-21-20
Pretty good
These books are the perfect combo of horror and comedy, I highly recommend it for everyone.
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- momtastic
- 11-02-18
Wonderfully ridiculous!
Lots of laughs. If you like off the wall crazy stories, this series is for you! Love all three books, John dies at the end, This book is full of spiders and What the hell did I just read.
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- Emmanuel Godoy
- 02-06-18
Great as always.
Super good and trippy. Love the Cosmic Mystery and Dick Jokes. It also contains scathing social commentary.
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- MPass
- 03-20-18
Hilarious
Story is hilarious & not for the faint of heart. Some cussing but lots of supernatural references & so hilarious!!I’m hooked!!
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- curtis
- 10-10-17
great book
great book another interesting sorry by David wong I would recommend this entire series
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- Cataclysmic_corvidae
- 07-10-18
this is why character voices are SO important
look I love David wong stories. this book was extremely hard to listen to because the reader very seldom did character voices so if john and David talked in succession it was often lost who was speaking. also lacked the performance aspect I found so enjoyable from this book is full of spiders. also just the overall story not as good.
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- brian
- 10-10-17
David Wong can't do wrong! (that rhymes!)
This book has a 100% chance to enlarge your penis size by 200%. Ever wanted to learn how to fly, become immortal, become invisible, read minds, and seduce any man/woman you want? Well do I have a treat for you, learn all that and more from this amazing addition to what literature critics are calling the greatest series of all time. I like big butts so clearly I can't lie about any of those claims.
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