-
The Witch of Tophet County: A Comedy of Horrors
- The Witch of Tophet County, Book 1
- Narrated by: Soneela Nankani
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $33.90
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's summary
The last witch on Earth takes on interdimensional invaders, tentacled overlords, and office politics in this fun, funny, and fast-paced urban fantasy series.
The witch of Tophet County has three primary preoccupations: Kentucky bourbon, Amish romance novels . . . and protecting her true identity from the chthonic monsters who rule humanity with an iron tentacle.
Despite her best efforts to get fired, the witch is trapped in a draconian, century-long contract that condemns her to work for the Archons of the Nether Realms in the banal misery of county government. But when she accidentally pleases her many-armed overlords, the Dread Lord of Human Resources curses her with an unwanted promotion. And it involves meetings.
As she enters a new bureaucratic hellscape, the witch is assigned to lead a task force investigating recent attacks on senior Archons. Fortunately, her boss has offered her a deal: if she solves the case, they'll knock fifteen years off her sentence. And if that doesn't work out, well, she just might have to find a way to help take down the tentaclarchy—or else be doomed to permanent civil servitude . . .
Filled with quick-witted banter, hilariously relatable office politics, and fantastically original characters, The Witch of Tophet County is Lovecraft meets Parks and Recreation—an explosive start to a new series guaranteed to have you glued to your seat until the very last moment.
The first volume of the hit horror fantasy series—with more than 100,000 views on Royal Road—now available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and Audible!
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
After World
- A Novel
- By: Debbie Urbanski
- Narrated by: Sura Siu, Emily Tremaine, Cindy Kay, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sen Anon is assigned to be a witness for the Department of Transition, recording the changes in the environment as the world begins to rewild. Abandoned by her mother in a cabin somewhere in upstate New York, Sen will observe the monumental ecological shift known as the Great Transition, the final step in Project Afterworld. Around her drones buzz, cameras watch, microphones listen, digitizing her every move. Privately she keeps a journal of her observations, which are then uploaded and saved, joining the rest of humanity on Maia, a new virtual home.
-
-
I like the general idea. execution fell short.
- By John Patrick Ryan on 02-10-24
By: Debbie Urbanski
-
I Ran Away to Evil: A Cozy LitRPG Rom-Com
- I Ran Away to Evil, Book 1
- By: Mystic Neptune
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain, Laura Horowitz
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Henrietta Doryn has never enjoyed fighting. She'd rather be in the kitchen baking cookies. But it's her duty as Warrior Princess to face off against the forces of evil. As such, she's unceremoniously shooed from her kingdom to go eliminate the all-powerful Dark Lord next door. Keith Monfort has never enjoyed ruling with an iron fist. He'd prefer to be in his workroom tinkering with practical magic. But it's his duty to lead the Dark Enchanted Forest and the forces of evil. So when Henrietta shows up at his door, he's only too happy to invite her in for tea to talk it out instead.
-
-
A Lovely Cozy with Depth
- By Bethany F on 04-28-24
By: Mystic Neptune
-
Contagion
- By: Amanda Milo
- Narrated by: Nick Cracknell
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I’ve broken free and I’ve also freed the human who was held captive with me. But I don’t know where we are, and I don’t know where my home is. The local wildlife may be smaller than I am, and maybe they don't have fangs near as large as mine, but I’m still terrified. My issues with germs—and my uncompromising avoidance of all the things that I’m afraid of coming into contact with—is going to get me killed in this wilderness. Thankfully, Aurora lets me follow her. Thankfully, she seems to know the way out of this endless and inhospitable woodland and desert biome.
-
-
Definitely worth the credit
- By Erica on 11-05-22
By: Amanda Milo
-
The Bloomin' Psychic Boxed Set: Books 1-3
- By: Annabel Chase
- Narrated by: Meghan Kelly
- Length: 19 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Bloomin' Psychic Boxed Set includes the first three books in the series: Petal to the Metal, Life's a Birch, and Drive Me Daisy.
-
-
Horrible narration.
- By M. Wilhite on 03-03-22
By: Annabel Chase
-
Paranormal Real Estate
- Dirk Cooper, Book 1
- By: Matthew Howry
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.
-
-
really refreshing, can't wait for more
- By riley on 05-13-22
By: Matthew Howry
-
No Gods, No Monsters
- A Novel (The Convergence Saga, Book 1)
- By: Cadwell Turnbull
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One October morning, Laina gets the news that her brother has been shot and killed by Boston cops. But what looks like a case of police brutality soon reveals something much stranger. Monsters are real. And they want everyone to know it. As creatures from myth and legend come out of the shadows, seeking safety through visibility, their emergence sets off a chain of seemingly unrelated events. Members of a local werewolf pack are threatened into silence.
-
-
amazing!
- By Gemma stone on 09-10-21
By: Cadwell Turnbull
-
After World
- A Novel
- By: Debbie Urbanski
- Narrated by: Sura Siu, Emily Tremaine, Cindy Kay, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sen Anon is assigned to be a witness for the Department of Transition, recording the changes in the environment as the world begins to rewild. Abandoned by her mother in a cabin somewhere in upstate New York, Sen will observe the monumental ecological shift known as the Great Transition, the final step in Project Afterworld. Around her drones buzz, cameras watch, microphones listen, digitizing her every move. Privately she keeps a journal of her observations, which are then uploaded and saved, joining the rest of humanity on Maia, a new virtual home.
-
-
I like the general idea. execution fell short.
- By John Patrick Ryan on 02-10-24
By: Debbie Urbanski
-
I Ran Away to Evil: A Cozy LitRPG Rom-Com
- I Ran Away to Evil, Book 1
- By: Mystic Neptune
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain, Laura Horowitz
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Henrietta Doryn has never enjoyed fighting. She'd rather be in the kitchen baking cookies. But it's her duty as Warrior Princess to face off against the forces of evil. As such, she's unceremoniously shooed from her kingdom to go eliminate the all-powerful Dark Lord next door. Keith Monfort has never enjoyed ruling with an iron fist. He'd prefer to be in his workroom tinkering with practical magic. But it's his duty to lead the Dark Enchanted Forest and the forces of evil. So when Henrietta shows up at his door, he's only too happy to invite her in for tea to talk it out instead.
-
-
A Lovely Cozy with Depth
- By Bethany F on 04-28-24
By: Mystic Neptune
-
Contagion
- By: Amanda Milo
- Narrated by: Nick Cracknell
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I’ve broken free and I’ve also freed the human who was held captive with me. But I don’t know where we are, and I don’t know where my home is. The local wildlife may be smaller than I am, and maybe they don't have fangs near as large as mine, but I’m still terrified. My issues with germs—and my uncompromising avoidance of all the things that I’m afraid of coming into contact with—is going to get me killed in this wilderness. Thankfully, Aurora lets me follow her. Thankfully, she seems to know the way out of this endless and inhospitable woodland and desert biome.
-
-
Definitely worth the credit
- By Erica on 11-05-22
By: Amanda Milo
-
The Bloomin' Psychic Boxed Set: Books 1-3
- By: Annabel Chase
- Narrated by: Meghan Kelly
- Length: 19 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Bloomin' Psychic Boxed Set includes the first three books in the series: Petal to the Metal, Life's a Birch, and Drive Me Daisy.
-
-
Horrible narration.
- By M. Wilhite on 03-03-22
By: Annabel Chase
-
Paranormal Real Estate
- Dirk Cooper, Book 1
- By: Matthew Howry
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.
-
-
really refreshing, can't wait for more
- By riley on 05-13-22
By: Matthew Howry
-
No Gods, No Monsters
- A Novel (The Convergence Saga, Book 1)
- By: Cadwell Turnbull
- Narrated by: Dion Graham
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One October morning, Laina gets the news that her brother has been shot and killed by Boston cops. But what looks like a case of police brutality soon reveals something much stranger. Monsters are real. And they want everyone to know it. As creatures from myth and legend come out of the shadows, seeking safety through visibility, their emergence sets off a chain of seemingly unrelated events. Members of a local werewolf pack are threatened into silence.
-
-
amazing!
- By Gemma stone on 09-10-21
By: Cadwell Turnbull
Critic reviews
“[The Witch of Tophet County] explores zany situations with a large cast of strange characters, effectively playing off the concept of an office in a fantasy realm.”—Kirkus Reviews
Related to this topic
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
Wynonna Earp
- Tales from Purgatory
- By: Emily Andras
- Narrated by: Melanie Scrofano, Tim Rozon, Dom Provost-Chalkley, and others
- Length: 4 hrs
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Saddle up and join Wynonna Earp on an immersive new audio adventure in the gritty supernatural world of Purgatory. This Audible Original invites you deeper into the Weird West to follow Wynonna Earp (Melanie Scrofano), as she embarks on her craziest adventure yet: riding off into the sunset with her soulmate, Doc Holliday (Tim Rozon)—yes ... that Doc Holliday. Brace yourself for more wise-cracking demon hunters, earth-shattering revelations and all the genre-blending action you've come to expect from the cult hit TV series.
-
-
Happy #Earper ☺️
- By Kate Skidmore on 10-17-24
By: Emily Andras
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Constituent Service
- A Third District Story
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
-
-
What a silly and sweet quick listen!
- By Geoffrey Christian on 10-08-24
By: John Scalzi
-
Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
-
-
It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
-
-
Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
Wynonna Earp
- Tales from Purgatory
- By: Emily Andras
- Narrated by: Melanie Scrofano, Tim Rozon, Dom Provost-Chalkley, and others
- Length: 4 hrs
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Saddle up and join Wynonna Earp on an immersive new audio adventure in the gritty supernatural world of Purgatory. This Audible Original invites you deeper into the Weird West to follow Wynonna Earp (Melanie Scrofano), as she embarks on her craziest adventure yet: riding off into the sunset with her soulmate, Doc Holliday (Tim Rozon)—yes ... that Doc Holliday. Brace yourself for more wise-cracking demon hunters, earth-shattering revelations and all the genre-blending action you've come to expect from the cult hit TV series.
-
-
Happy #Earper ☺️
- By Kate Skidmore on 10-17-24
By: Emily Andras
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Constituent Service
- A Third District Story
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
-
-
What a silly and sweet quick listen!
- By Geoffrey Christian on 10-08-24
By: John Scalzi
-
Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
-
-
It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
What listeners say about The Witch of Tophet County: A Comedy of Horrors
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- L. Jensen
- 02-16-24
Eff a bunch of Chads
Hilarious. Crazy. Amazing narration, great audiobook, definitely feel like I need to listen to it again.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Katie Bradshaw
- 07-04-24
A fun ride into chaos
What a wild ride from beginning to end! The main protagonist, known only as The Witch, is the best smart-mouthed, kick-butt-and-take-names-later female character I've come across in a long time! The way the story pulls from Lovecraftian lore while also including nonsense religions like Discordianism and TFSM really makes for a spicy mystical world to pull from, a much welcome change from the overused elves and fairies song and dance usually used in this type of story. It quickly moves from The Witch pulling a prank on a neighbor's wife, to full-on government espionage, but not in the traditional way it's usually handled, as the government is run by eldritch horrors rather than trying to suppress them. I HIGHLY suggest this book to anyone who wants something weird and fun in the background, and I look forward to listening to the next one!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Garrett
- 07-22-24
A fun, if a bit predictable read
The book is very much like Terry Pratchett wrote an episode of Parks and Rec, if April was the main character instead of Leslie and through a Lovecraftian lens. The plot is somewhat predictable and at times the author feels to think she is more clever than she really is, but the characters are fun and the story is engaging enough that it more than makes up for it.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!