The Virgin Romance Novelist Chronicles
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Narrated by:
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Andi Arndt
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Jeffrey Kafer
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By:
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Meghan Quinn
About this listen
From USA Today best selling Author Meghan Quinn, comes a hilarious romantic comedy that will touch your heart and cause you to roar with laughter as you escape into Rosie Bloom's attempt to write a romance novel.
"Her bosom heaved at an alarming rate as his rough hand found its way down to her soft, yet wiry briar patch...."
Can you say briar patch in a romance novel? What about breasts? Do bosoms really heave?
Goodness, I have no idea what I'm doing. I’m a virgin attempting to write a romance novel and I'm having an impossible time trying to write a passionate and swoon-worthy love scene worthy of being published, thanks to my lack of experience.
My two best friends encourage me to drop the pen, step outside my comfort zone, and gain some real life experience through multiple dating facets such as blind dates, online profiles, and random hookups. But losing my "flower" is proving to be much tougher than expected....
This is the story of my awkward, humiliating, and slightly terrifying life, but like all romance novels, I know it will end in a happily ever after. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Warning: Listen in the confines of your own home due to random outbursts of laughter. If you are addicted to cliffhangers, getting your heart ripped out of your chest, and feeling like a bulldozer just plowed through your stomach, then this audiobook is not for you. if you like peeing your pants and crying from laughing so hard, then please continue listening.
©2018 Meghan Quinn (P)2019 Meghan QuinnListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Jillian Macie, Aaron Shedlock
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Four guys. Constant moaning. And a revolving door across the college suite I somehow ended up in because my first name is Shawn. They don't discriminate. Girls. Guys. Grandmas. Plants (okay maybe not plants). All walks of life stroll in stressed to the brim and leave so satisfied I'm wondering what sort of talents lie behind that door. My roommate calls them the pleasure ponies. But the rest of the college campus? They just call them the new face of Wingmen Inc. - a paid-for-relationship service that makes big promises.
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Co-Ed
- By whatcha.listening.to on 04-20-19
By: Rachel Van Dyken
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Licked
- By: Brooke Blaine
- Narrated by: Luci Christian
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As the owner of Licked, an eclectic ice creamery and bar, Ryleigh Phillips doesn't have time for that love stuff. Serving up Nibble My Nuts sundaes and Drunken Sailor boozy shakes are as close to an orgasmic affair as she's had in months thanks to her expanding empire - until the night of her 10-year high-school reunion. When Ryleigh's crush, gorgeous ex-football god Cameron Mathis, comes streaking into her life (literally - streaking), she begins to wonder if she really can have it all. Enter Hunter Morgan, the contractor in charge of Licked's renovations....
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❤🩶🖤
- By Anonymous User on 04-20-23
By: Brooke Blaine
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Accidentally Amy
- By: Lynn Painter
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Isabella Shay is usually a very honest person. But when she's running late for her first day at a dream job and the barista yells for "Amy" three times with no answer, she does the unthinkable. Izzy takes that PSL. But when she turns around and runs directly into the most attractive man she's ever seen, spilling the drink all over his GQ shirt and tie, she ends up having the ultimate meet-cute. Sparks fly and things feel beyond promising until he says the words, "See you tomorrow, Amy." Uh, oh-she'll definitely have to straighten him out the following day.
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The banter is everything
- By Kenz on 12-30-22
By: Lynn Painter
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#1 Crush
- By: T Gephart
- Narrated by: Grace Grant
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tia Monroe was smart, sassy, and successful. Sure, she could get a little crazy at times - life around Tia was never boring - but that was part of her appeal. And while she didn't see herself as classically beautiful, she had no shortage of options in the boyfriend department. She just hadn't found one who held her interest. Until she laid eyes on Eric Larsson, and then it was lust at first sight. He packed the perfect mix of smoldering sexy and unapologetic cool into his blond-haired, blue-eyed, ridiculously hot six-foot-four frame.
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Cute laugh out loud story
- By Amazon Customer on 07-20-17
By: T Gephart
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Number Neighbors
- By: Emma Hart
- Narrated by: Avery Reid, Will Watt
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Bad idea number 241: sending a dirty text to your number neighbor. In my defense, my friends did it, too, and their neighbors took it as the joke it was. Mine didn't. He responded with a dirty text of his own. Next thing I know, I have a standing texting date every night at 10:30. Until I have to miss it because the stray kitten who adopted me one week ago is sick. The only person I know who can help me at this time of night is my British next-door neighbor and local vet, Isaac Cooper.
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Cute romantic comedy
- By jill j on 07-21-20
By: Emma Hart
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Send Me Crazy
- Hot in the City, Book 1
- By: T. Gephart
- Narrated by: Stephen Dexter, Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A note, a pair of panties, and a date. When Quinn’s efforts to set up her best friend go awry, she finds herself with a crazy blind date. Could the mystery man be her soul mate? Nothing like an adventure, and at the very least, she is going to have some fun with it.
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Laugh Out Loud Rom-Com
- By Denise Hoover on 05-06-20
By: T. Gephart
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Another
- By: Fiona Cole
- Narrated by: Jo Raylan, Teddy Hamilton, Isabelle Ruther
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The first time I saw him, he entranced me and offered to help me forget my broken engagement. The second time was on a blind date with no last names and undeniable passion. The third time, I was eight months pregnant with his baby that he knew nothing about. This time, he's not letting me walk away so easily.
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STOPPPPP! GO READ LOVERS FIRST. .....
- By Anonymous User on 06-30-20
By: Fiona Cole
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Playing by Heart
- By: JB Salsbury
- Narrated by: Lee Samuels, Jennifer Mack
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jesse Lee is the worst! He’s a multi-millionaire, triple-platinum-selling, Grammy-Award-winning man-slut - a worldly, self-indulgent heathen. I wouldn’t sleep with him if he were our last chance to ensure survival of the human race. The only reason I put up with him is because he’s my boss’s brother. Playing by Heart is an enemies-to-lovers romance where opposites not only attract, they ignite.
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A GOOD ENEMIES-LOVERS ROLLERCOASTER
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 05-10-19
By: JB Salsbury
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Petal Plucker
- By: Iris Morland
- Narrated by: Samantha Brentmoor
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Confession: I, Dandelion “Dani” Wright, am 26 years old and have yet to be deflowered. My excuse? I was too busy running my family’s flower shop and winning floral-design competitions. Suddenly that whole pesky virginity thing becomes a big deal when Jacob West walks back into my life. He’s the boy I once loved - the boy who once humiliated me when he stood me up for prom. This Jacob is no boy though: he’s all man now - confident, charming, and so sexy my metaphorical blossoms are getting scorched.
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Trashy
- By Anonymous User on 05-21-20
By: Iris Morland
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A Crazy Little Thing Called Love
- Serendipitous Love, Book 1
- By: Christina C. Jones
- Narrated by: Sean Crisden, Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Simone is a woman on a mission: Stop being boring, and fall in love. That's easier said than done with no prospects on the table...or under the table...or near the table. Her luck changes when fellow neighborhood business-owner Roman Taylor walks through the door of her flower shop. Roman is single, successful, and sexy - everything Simone is looking for to embark on a whirlwind summer romance with the potential to spark an everlasting love. But things are never as "perfect" as they seem.
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Great story
- By Anonymous User on 06-16-20
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Piece of Work
- Red Lipstick Coalition, Book 1
- By: Staci Hart
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
His body is as chiseled as Adonis. His lips are as sculpted as David. And his ego is the size of the Guggenheim. You know the type: wolfish smile and the gravity of a black hole - the kind of man who sucks all the air from the room the second he enters it. My cocky boss thinks this internship was wasted on me, and he doesn’t hesitate to let me know. But he’s wrong, and I’m going to prove it to him. If I can stay away from his devil lips, that is....
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Very, very slow
- By Lisa Foster on 02-18-20
By: Staci Hart
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Major Misconduct
- Aces Hockey Series #1
- By: Kelly Jamieson
- Narrated by: Kasha Kensington
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As the captain of the Chicago Aces, Marc Dupuis is all business. The apartment he shares with his teammate and best friend, Duncan, is a refuge from the pressures of fame. But when the sexiest woman he's ever seen interrupts his early morning coffee wearing only a skimpy cami and matching panties, Marc can't exactly say that he minds. Their chemistry is off the charts. Unfortunately, this girl's no random puck bunny. She's Duncan's little sister, and she's moving in.
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Cartoon Characters
- By Rusty on 12-09-16
By: Kelly Jamieson
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The Rich Boy
- By: Kylie Scott
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I’m the type of girl who’s given up on fairy tales. So when Beck – the hot new busboy at work - starts flirting with me, I know better than to get my hopes up. Happily ever afters aren’t for the average. I learned that the hard way. But how can I be expected to resist a man who can quote Austen, loves making me laugh, and seems to be everything hot and good in this world? Only there’s so much more to him than that. Billionaire playboy? Check. Troubled soul? Check.
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are you freaking serious!
- By Deanna on 07-14-20
By: Kylie Scott
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After the Kiss
- Sex, Love, & Stiletto Series, Book 1
- By: Lauren Layne
- Narrated by: Samantha Cook
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Julie Greene loves flings. Loves steamy first dates, sizzling first kisses, and every now and then, that first sexy romp between the sheets. Comfy pants, sleepy Sundays, movie nights on the couch? Shudder. But when Julie gets assigned the hardest story of her career - a first-person account of that magical shift between dating and "I do" (she'll need a man brave enough to give a total commitment-phobe a chance at more.
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After The Kiss
- By Pennie Morgan on 07-04-19
By: Lauren Layne
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