The Third Policeman
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Narrated by:
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Jim Norton
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By:
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Flann O'Brien
About this listen
Flann O'Brien's most popular and surrealistic novel concerns an imaginary, hellish village police force and a local murder.
Weird, satirical, and very funny, its popularity has suddenly increased with the mention of the novel in the TV series Lost.
Download the accompanying reference guide.©1967 Flann O'Brien (P)2012 Naxos AudioBooksListeners also enjoyed...
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Editorial reviews
Critic reviews
"If ever a book was brought to life by a reading, it is this presentation of O'Brien's posthumously published classic. Norton individually crafts voices and personalities for each character in such a way that a listener might imagine an entire cast of voice talent working overtime....[He] ties the ribbon on a perfect presentation of this absurd and chilling masterpiece." ( Publishers Weekly)
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Wyatt Gwyon's desire to forge is not driven by larceny but from love. Exactingly faithful to the spirit and letter of the Flemish masters, he produces uncannily accurate "originals" - pictures the painters themselves might have envied. In an age of counterfeit emotion and taste, the real and fake have become indistinguishable; yet Gwyon's forgeries reflect a truth that others cannot touch - cannot even recognize.
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Breathtaking, Dizzying, Stimulating, Funny
- By andrew on 11-17-10
By: William Gaddis
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The Christmas Card Crime
- And Other Stories
- By: Martin Edwards
- Narrated by: Gordon Griffin, Anne Dover
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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A Christmas party is punctuated by a gunshot under a policeman’s watchful eye. A jewel heist is planned amidst the glitz and glamour of Oxford Street’s Christmas shopping. And lost in a snowstorm, a man finds a motive for murder.... This collection of mysteries explores the darker side of the festive season, from unexplained disturbances in the fresh snow to the darkness that lurks beneath the sparkling decorations.
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Aahhh... Just The Right Blend Of Mystery, Murder And Christmas.!!
- By John on 12-04-18
By: Martin Edwards
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The Invisible Man
- By: H. G. Wells
- Narrated by: James Adams
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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On a freezing February day, a stranger emerges from out of the gray to request a room at a local provincial inn. Who is this out-of-season traveler? More confounding is the thick mask of bandages obscuring his face. Why does he disguise himself in this manner and keep himself hidden away in his room? Aroused by trepidation and curiosity, the local villagers bring it upon themselves to find the answers.
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Way ahead of its time!
- By Brian on 06-06-13
By: H. G. Wells
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The Extraordinary Adventures of Arsene Lupin, Gentleman Burglar [Classic Tales Edition]
- By: Maurice Leblanc
- Narrated by: B.J. Harrison
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Fine-art aficionado. Master of disguise. Jewelry expert. Historian. Gentleman. Burglar. Arsene Lupin is all of these and more. In 1905, Maurice Leblanc introduced his gentleman-burglar in the story "L'Arrestation d'Arsène Lupin". Shortly thereafter, the stories were collected as one single volume. In these charming adventures, Lupin orchestrates a myriad of extravagant heists in the very face of the determined Inspector Ganimard.
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The Original Gentleman Thief
- By David S. Mathew on 09-24-17
By: Maurice Leblanc
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Far from the Madding Crowd
- By: Thomas Hardy
- Narrated by: David McCallion
- Length: 13 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Far from the Madding Crowd, which first appeared in Cornhill Magazine in monthly installments back in the late 19th century, features the love life of the young Bathsheba Everdene who is as poor as she is beautiful. Fortunately, Bathsheba's uncle leaves her his farm, which she goes to manage in the small town of Weatherbury. Before she leaves, however, she has an interesting encounter with a young farmer, Gabriel Oak, for whom she does a tremendous favor ,and he becomes indebted to her....
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Loved this delightful listening experience !!!
- By Robin Wardle on 07-15-16
By: Thomas Hardy
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Watt
- By: Samuel Beckett
- Narrated by: Dermot Crowley
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Watt tells the tale of Mr Knott's servant and his attempts to get to know his master. Watt's mistake is to derive the essence of his master from the accidentals of his being, and his painstakingly logical attempts to 'know' ultimately consign him to the asylum. Itself a critique of error, Watt has previously appeared in editions that are littered with mistakes, both major and minor.
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Great performance!
- By Russell Atwood on 02-18-24
By: Samuel Beckett
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Nausea (New Directions Paperbook)
- By: Jean-Paul Sartre
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Sartre's greatest novel and existentialism's key text, now introduced by James Wood, and read by the inimitable Edoardo Ballerini. Nausea is the story of Antoine Roquentin, a French writer who is horrified at his own existence. In impressionistic, diary form, he ruthlessly catalogs his every feeling and sensation.
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Glad to have existed to enjoy reading this book!
- By mohammed on 08-11-21
By: Jean-Paul Sartre
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Odds Against
- By: Dick Francis
- Narrated by: Geoffrey Howard
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s amazing what bodily injury can do for a man. A fall from a racehorse left brilliant jockey Sid Halley dangerously depressed, with a wrecked hand and the need for a new career. It was a bullet wound that helped him find one.
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Fabulous!
- By motown on 02-10-15
By: Dick Francis
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The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu
- By: Sax Rohmer
- Narrated by: B. J. Harrison
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Inspector Nayland Smith has unearthed a plot that could mean the end of civilization as we know it. He's just arrived in London, chasing the greatest criminal mind ever to come from the East. But when he arrives to warn Sir Crichton Davies that he is in danger, he finds he is too late. Sir Crichton has become the first victim of the insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu.
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Pulp Fiction of the day
- By Anniebligh on 12-12-12
By: Sax Rohmer
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Summer
- By: Edith Wharton
- Narrated by: Grace Conlin
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Wharton's most erotic and lyrical novel, Summer explores a daring theme for 1917, a woman's awakening to her sexuality. Eighteen-year-old Charity Royall lives in the small town of North Dormer, ignorant of desire until the arrival of architect Lucius Harney. Like the succulent summer landscape in the Berkshires around them, Charity's romance is lush and picturesque, but its consequences are harsh and real.
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Excellent first audible purchase!
- By lilyglint on 08-23-04
By: Edith Wharton
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Three Men in a Boat (AmazonClassics Edition)
- By: Jerome K. Jerome
- Narrated by: Simon Mattacks
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1889, satirist Jerome K. Jerome fully intended to write a serious travel guide when he and his two best friends embarked on a boating trip up the river Thames to Oxford. But his musings on landmarks and local history were soon hijacked by his own digressive, waggish voice. And so, what began as a peaceful and edifying two-week exploration soon floated upriver into farce - aided, quite naturally, by a portly ration of cheese, some very bad weather, and a dog named Montmorency.
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Hilarious and lovable!!
- By Erika C. on 03-23-21
By: Jerome K. Jerome
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Dombey and Son
- By: Charles Dickens
- Narrated by: Frederick Davidson
- Length: 36 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this carefully crafted novel, Dickens reveals the complexity of London society in the enterprising 1840s as he takes the listener into the business firm and home of one of its most representative patriarchs, Paul Dombey.
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Perfect pair
- By Philip on 03-25-08
By: Charles Dickens
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The seventeenth century was a revolutionary age for the English. It started as they suddenly found themselves ruled by a Scotsman, and it ended in the shadow of an invasion by the Dutch. Under James I, England suffered terrorism and witch panics. Under his son Charles, state and society collapsed into civil war, to be followed by an army coup and regicide. For a short time—for the only time in history—England was a republic. There were bitter struggles over faith and Parliament asserted itself like never before. There were no boundaries to politics.
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Winner of the 1973 National Book Award, Gravity's Rainbow is a postmodern epic, a work as exhaustively significant to the second half of the 20th century as Joyce's Ulysses was to the first. Its sprawling, encyclopedic narrative and penetrating analysis of the impact of technology on society make it an intellectual tour de force.
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Valis
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What is VALIS? This question is at the heart of Philip K. Dick's groundbreaking novel, the first book in his defining trilogy. When a beam of pink light begins giving a schizophrenic man named Horselover Fat (who just might also be known as Philip K. Dick) visions of an alternate Earth where the Roman Empire still reigns, he must decide whether he is crazy or whether a godlike entity is showing him the true nature of the world.
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Life changing
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The City & The City
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When a murdered woman is found in the city of Beszel, somewhere at the edge of Europe, it looks to be a routine case for Inspector Tyador Borl ú of the Extreme Crime Squad. But as he investigates, the evidence points to conspiracies far stranger and more deadly than anything he could have imagined. Borl must travel from the decaying Beszel to the only metropolis on Earth as strange as his own.
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Reviews, Dishonesty and The Emperor's New Clothes
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What listeners say about The Third Policeman
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Amazon Customer
- 05-18-10
Rambling and funny
Flann O'Brien is an acquired taste but give him a chance - he's worth it.
He has a free associative style of writing and sometimes you wonder where you're going and where you've been - but he's funny, very funny.
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- Kent
- 08-19-21
Well-crafted and a verbal masterpiece.
Surreal and engaging. Masterful word play. Delightfully read. The unnamed narrator compellingly shares his story so that I was glad to tag along through his adventures. The infinitely goofy de Selby is a wonderful invention and a caution to all philosophers to weigh carefully their commitment to facts and speculations.
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- Jefferson
- 05-04-17
A Murderer Adrift in a Dantean Irish Wonderland
The narrator of Flann O'Brien's The Third Policeman (1940/1967) begins his story, "Not everybody knows how I killed old Phillip Mathers, smashing his jaw in with my spade." The first chapter then relates how the narrator was abandoned and orphaned as a boy, educated at a good boarding school where he fell in love with the work of the physicist/philosopher/psychologist de Selby, graduated and lost his leg and gained a wooden one, came home to find John Divney running the family farm and pub, spent all his time and money on English, French, and German commentaries on his hero de Selby, and finally agreed to help Divney murder Mathers to get enough money to publish a "definitive" annotated de Selby index. For three years after the murder the narrator never let Divney out of his sight for fear that his "friend" would abscond with their victim's money, until Divney has the narrator go to the old man's house to retrieve the black cash box hidden under the floorboards there.
But when the narrator reaches under the floorboards, he experiences an "ineffable" fugue, after which he finds that the cash box (which he saw a moment earlier) is actually absent, while Mathers is present and sentient. The narrator has forgotten his name (which he has never revealed) and now embarks on an absurd, disturbing, fantastic adventure, ostensibly to locate the cash box. Cries of amazement regularly escape his lips. He wonders if he "was dreaming or in the grip of some hallucination." Has he entered an Irish Wonderland, Heaven, or Hell? Are the bicycle-obsessed policemen there eccentrics, angels, or devils?
The surreal situations are coherent and logical in a way worthy of Lewis Carroll. Sergeant Pluck, for example, explains that, due to "the Atomic Theory," by which atoms are "as lively as twenty leprechauns doing a jig on top of a tombstone," people who ride bicycles exchange particles with them, leading to this man being 23% bicycle or that bicycle 78% man, and so on. Did you ever notice that bicycles often don't end up right where you left them? (Thus Pluck locks his bicycle in the solitary confinement cell.) Best not to ponder what happens when a man rides a woman's bicycle or vice versa! Then there is the creative second policeman MacCruiskeen who plays a musical instrument whose notes are so high they are inaudible and displays a series of inter-nested chests ending in ones so small they are invisible. As for the crazy, third policeman, Fox, out on patrol for 25 years, the less said the better.
Meanwhile, the beginnings of the 12 chapters of the novel teem with footnotes relating to the theories, experiments, and writings of the narrator's crackpot idol de Selby as they prefigure the coming action of the chapters with topics like water, sleep, time, direction, roads, names, houses, and mirrors. The footnotes also mediate between de Selby commentators, like the two trusted experts, Hatchjaw and Bassett, and the "shadowy" Kraus and the "egregious" du Garbandier, some of whom may be pseudonyms or imposters, all of whom disagree on nearly everything. Isn't academia is prey to rivalries, forgeries, and unworthy subjects of study!
This opposing mirror infinity is a motif in the novel: footnotes inside footnotes, scholars inside scholars, codices inside codices, chests inside chests, rooms inside rooms, bodies inside bodies. . . It is vertiginous.
The narrator is odd. He is both honest and unreliable. We believe what he says, but note much that he leaves unsaid (like just what happened to his leg). After saying early on that he committed his "greatest sin" for de Selby, the narrator seems free from remorse for helping to murder an old man. He is both gullible and canny about "friend" Divney, knowing that the freeloader has been robbing their customers and him but letting himself get talked into killing Mathers for money and then refusing to be separated from Divney until the money has been divided. The narrator is not as bad as Divney, yet he is self-centered, as in his materialistic wants in "Eternity" and his big plans for "his" omnium (the essential divine building block of everything).
All of the above is written by O'Brien with great humor humor, preventing things from getting too bleak, bizarre, or dry. The scenes where Pluck lists a series of names to see if one might be the narrator's, or a rescue company of one-legged men disguise their number, or the news that Hatchjaw was arrested in Europe for impersonating himself, or the explanation for how unerringly Pluck is able to locate a stolen bicycle, or Mathers' reason for saying no to every request, or the narrator's conversations with his soul ("Joe"), all these and many more are very funny.
Another saving grace of the nightmare is the frequently lyrical, pastoral beauty.
"Birds were audible in the secrecy of the bigger trees, changing branches and conversing not tumultuously. In a field by the road a donkey stood quietly, as if he were examining the morning, bit by bit, unhurryingly… as if he understood completely these unexplainable enjoyments of the world."
But O'Brien is also a master of the disturbing detail, as of the police barracks:
"I had never seen with my eyes ever in my life before anything so unnatural and appalling and my gaze faltered about the thing uncomprehendingly as if at least one of the customary dimensions was missing, leaving no meaning to the remainder."
Audiobook reader Jim Norton gives a marvelous reading of the novel. His Irish accent ranges from the slight and educated (the narrator) to the broad and working class (Sergeant Pluck). He's also an uncanny uptight pompous British scholar, a nasal dead old man, and an italics-voiced soul. He reads every word and pause with perfect intention and understanding.
If you'd like a richly written unique book with flavors of Waiting for Godot, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, the Divine Comedy, and the old Prisoner TV show, you should read The Third Policeman.
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12 people found this helpful
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- john in RI
- 02-14-14
Not a detective novel.....well sort of.....
Where does The Third Policeman rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
I have only purchased one other audiobook-Keep the Aspidistra Flying by George Orwell. They are both excellent.
Who was your favorite character and why?
The narrator because it is his story, although he is telling it while dead.
What about Jim Norton’s performance did you like?
He was perfect.
Who was the most memorable character of The Third Policeman and why?
The narrator.
Any additional comments?
I have the feeling the people who hated this saw the word policeman in the title and expected one of those books located by the cash register in the supermarket. If you can't enjoy something because it doesn't "make sense" you won't like this. However if you like Samuel Becket or James Joyce you will find this very funny.
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- Gerald T. Davis
- 05-06-23
GPTChat
So I queried GPTChat " Weird audible books" got 4 suggestions. Didn't look all that weird. Added new query "weirder." So arrived "The Third Policeman." Totally captivating as read! Jim Norton may have done the perfect job of conveying each character. Each syllable is a symphony dedicated to the soul. 7 hours of enjoyable nonsense.
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- Carson
- 09-25-21
Absolutely hilarious
One of the most absurd, charming, disturbing, perplexing, and HILARIOUS books ever written. I’m at a loss of words for what else to say about it. It’s definitely one I’m gonna keep handy for the rest of my life.
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- Shane Butler
- 10-26-21
Good Craic
This absurd novel will make you feel uncomfortable at times, thinking to yourself “what’s the point of what they’re saying or doing?”. What you should understand before you read is that feeling is what the writer wants you to feel, and is a comment on the futility of life itself or aspects of daily life that we cannot reasonably justify. “Comic” is the right word for the novel. While it is at times funny and borderline hilarious, the comedy is mostly resulting from laughing at this thing we call life and all the madness it contains. I should add that the introductions to most of the chapters feature some beautiful writing, clever phrasing and imagery, and you should keep an ear out for some memorable similes such as “as friendly and familiar as the pockets of an old suit.”
A great performance by the narrator made this a welcome break from your usual go-to audiobook, whatever that may be!
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- megacurley
- 02-19-22
excellent
an old favorite, beautifully narrated. i could not be happier with it. highly recommended.
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- Dennis
- 08-16-08
Patience
Stick with it; this book is surprisingly good,funny very Irish
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- Tim
- 09-29-15
Best-narrated audiobook on Audible.com. Seriously.
This book is far and away the best-narrated audiobook on all of Audible.com. Jim Norton is an absolute genius, without parallel.
You should listen to this audiobook to experience O'Brien's novel, which is surreal, funny, and disturbing. But you should also listen to it for Norton's incredible performance. Both Norton and O'Brien are one-of-a-kind geniuses.
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