In this riotous, globetrotting sequel to The Story of God, the universe’s premier antihero, God, returns, as lonely, misguided, angry, and troubled as ever. Regretting many of the decisions he made in his debut book, and wrestling with his continued ambivalence to both his son(s) Jesus and his frenemy Satan, God decides to set things right with creation - again. But this time, he asks, why stick around the dusty Land of Israel or a decaying heaven when there’s a much bigger world to explore - and countless others out there just waiting to love and praise him?

In this comedic postscript to The Story of God, we finally get to hear Satan's side of the biblical story. God (and, by extension, the Jesuses) may get all the love, but what about Satan? Clever, patient, and forever plotting, might he be the one who gets the last laugh? Might the greatest story ever told ultimately be all about him?

From the moment of his birth, Siddhartha Gautama never doubted his specialness. He arrived with magnificently webbed digits and could lick his own earlobes. His karma had been that good. Thus, the question was never whether he would become a king, but rather, what type of king he would become. Siddhartha's journey took a sudden spiritual turn when he came to the first of his many realizations: things die, and before they die, they suffer, a lot, for real.

Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....

God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.

Well into the 21st century, our species continues to participate in beliefs and customs that seem more suited to the Bronze Age than the Information Age, some of which involve poisonous snakes, holy smoke, urine bubbles, crystals, tarot cards, aliens, costumed virgins, and, of course, an offering plate. Join Seth Andrews for a random romp across the planet and a humorous look at some of humanity's Sacred Cows.

The world will end on Saturday. Next Saturday. Just before dinner, according to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655. The armies of Good and Evil are amassing and everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture. And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist.

It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.

Shizuka Satomi made a deal with the devil: To escape damnation, she must entice seven other violin prodigies to trade their souls for success. She has already delivered six. When Katrina Nguyen, a young transgender runaway, catches Shizuka's ear with her wild talent, Shizuka can almost feel the curse lifting. She's found her final candidate. But in a donut shop off a bustling highway in the San Gabriel Valley, Shizuka meets Lan Tran, retired starship captain, interstellar refugee, and mother of four.

Beth and Fran spend their days traveling the ravaged New England coast, hunting feral men and harvesting their organs in a gruesome effort to ensure they'll never face the same fate. Robbie lives by his gun and one hard-learned motto: other people aren't safe. After a brutal accident entwines the three of them, this found family of survivors must navigate murderous TERFs, a sociopathic billionaire bunker brat, and awkward relationship dynamics—all while outrunning packs of feral men, and their own demons.

The White Tree (book one): In Mallon the dark magic of the nether has been banned for centuries. Its users have been driven out or killed. Its secrets lost. But the holy book of the nethermancers has just been found by a boy named Dante. As he works to unlock the book's power, he's attacked in the street. The nethermancers aren't gone—and they want their book back. Caught between death cultists and the law, Dante fights for his life, aided by his growing skills and a brash bodyguard named Blays.

Stranger in a Strange Land is the epic saga of an earthling, Valentine Michael Smith, born and educated on Mars, who arrives on our planet with “psi” powers—telepathy, clairvoyance, precognition, telekinesis, teleportation, pyrolysis, and the ability to take control of the minds of others—and complete innocence regarding the mores of man. After his tutelage under a surrogate father figure, Valentine begins his transformation into a kind of messiah.

The Galahad, a faster-than-light spacecraft, carries 50 scientists and engineers on a mission to prepare Kepler 452b, Earth's nearest habitable neighbor at 1400 light years away. With Earth no longer habitable and the Mars colony slowly failing, they are humanity's best hope. After 10 years in a failed cryogenic bed - body asleep, mind awake - William Chanokh's torture comes to an end as the fog clears, the hatch opens, and his friend and fellow hacker, Tom, greets him...by stabbing a screwdriver into his heart. This is the first time William dies.

When Enae's grandmaman passes away, Enae inherits something unexpected: a diplomatic assignment to track down a fugitive who has been missing for over 200 years. No one actually expects Enae to succeed; it's an empty assignment meant to keep hir occupied. But Enae has never had a true purpose—no one ever expected hir to do more than care for grandmaman—so sie is determined to accomplish this task to the best of her ability.

Young Alvin was born the seventh son of a seventh son. By his birthright, he possesses magical powers and is destined to become something great, perhaps even a Maker. Indeed, Alvin is special. But the boy remains vulnerable to dark forces who reach out to destroy him and are willing to do anything to keep him from growing up. Carefully weaving the lore and the folk-magic of the men and women who settled a continent—as well as the beliefs of the tribes who were there before them—Orson Scott Card has created a fascinating alternate frontier America.

When Runnel leaves his mountain valley to head for the great city of the water mages, he has no idea of his own magical talents. But he soon finds that without meaning to, he complicates and then endangers the lives of everyone he comes to know and care about. For when it comes to magic, there are rules and laws, and the untrained mage-to-be must be careful not to tap into deep forces and ancient enmities. Otherwise, other people might end up paying the price for his mistakes.

Twelve-year-old Percy Jackson is about to be kicked out of boarding school...again. No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to stay out of trouble. But can he really be expected to stand by and watch while a bully picks on his scrawny best friend? Or not defend himself against his pre-algebra teacher when she turns into a monster and tries to kill him? Of course, no one believes Percy about the monster incident; he's not even sure he believes himself.

Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....

God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.

Kihrin is a bastard orphan who grew up on storybook tales of long-lost princes and grand quests. When he is claimed against his will as the long-lost son of a treasonous prince, Kihrin finds that being a long-lost prince isn't what the storybooks promised. He also discovers that the storybooks have lied about a lot of other things, too: dragons, demons, gods, prophecies, true love, and how the hero always wins. Then again, maybe he’s not the hero, for Kihrin is not destined to save the empire. He’s destined to destroy it.

Welcome to the world of the Instrumentalities of the Night, where imps, demons, and dark gods rule in the spaces surrounding upstart humanity. At the edges of the world stand walls of ice which push slowly forward to reclaim the land for the night. And at the world's center, in the Holy Land where two great religions were born, are the Wells of Ihrain, the source of the greatest magics.

They have been with us throughout the ages: the "Invisible College" of wisdom and their adversaries, the destroyers. Naples, Italy, circa 1764: A young aristocrat is about to stumble onto one piece of the great pattern. As witness to a vicious assassination and victim of his passion for the beautiful daughter of his enemy, young Sigismundo Celine is forced to begin a mystical odyssey amidst an ageless clash of Freemasons, Mafia, and the Illuminati.

This novel is a brilliant first-person narrative of the rise and fall of the Norse gods - retold from the point of view of the world's ultimate trickster, Loki. A number-one best seller in the UK, The Gospel of Loki tells the story of Loki's recruitment from the underworld of Chaos; his many exploits on behalf of his one-eyed master, Odin; through to his eventual betrayal of the gods and the fall of Asgard.

Some feel the Lady, newly risen from centuries in thrall, stands between humankind and evil. Some feel she is evil itself. The hardbitten men of the Black Company take their pay and do what they must, burying their doubts with their dead - until the prophesy: The White Rose has been reborn, somewhere, to embody good once more. There must be a way for the Black Company to find her....

From out of the East they came, riding like a merciless plague - destroying kingdom after kingdom and the sovereigns who had previously mocked the warlord Loethar and his barbarian horde. Now only one land remains unconquered... the largest, richest, and most powerful realm of the Denova Set: Penraven. > The Valisar royals of Penraven face certain death, for the savage tyrant Loethar covets what they alone possess: the fabled Valisar Enchantment....

As the demon takes her into his arms and away from the flames, he begins to understand he isn't rescuing her; she's saving him.... "After speaking to the other angels on the team, I hang up my cell and sigh. No one's heard from Aaden in months. This bothers me not only as the leader but as his girl - which I'm not. Great. Now on top of being grounded, I'm sitting here acting girly and needy. Argh! Screw this!"

From the author of Audible #1 bestsellers In The Darkness, That's Where I'll Know You, The Physics of the Dead, and The Stone Man (shortlisted for the Audible Audiobook of the Year award 2015). Ever wished the world would revolve around you? Be careful what you wish for... Martin Hogan feels like he's being watched by everyone and everything, and doesn't know why. Even his pets are acting strangely. Each night he sees animals gathering outside his house in the darkness, staring up at his windows with glittering eyes.

The problem with being born with expectations is the failure to live up to any. Christopher might be the antichrist, but taking over the world and leading the minions of darkness sounds like a lot of work. And while slacking is a sin his supposed dad Lucifer approves of, his lack of goals is a problem. Personally, Christopher would rather just work hard enough to make ends meet - and maybe buy a six-pack. But fate is conspiring against him.

Correspondence has fallen into our hands that we were not intended to see. Foulgrin, a high-ranking demon, instructs his subordinate how to deceive and destroy Jordan Fletcher and his family. It's like placing a bugging device in hell's war room, where we overhear our enemies assessing our weaknesses and strategizing attack. To win the battle, we must know our God, know ourselves, and know our enemy. Lord Foulgrin's Letters is written to help us become better acquainted with each.

He's insisting he's a Tide Lord and he's begging us to try again...to kill him, that is. When a routine hanging goes wrong, the survivor announces he is Cayal the immortal Prince, a Tide Lord. However, the only known record of the immortal beings of Amyrantha is the Tide Lord Tarot...and everyone knows it is only a parlour-game, an amusement. Arkady Desean, an expert on the legends of the Crasii - a part-animal, part-human race - is sent to interrogate Cayal.