The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
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Narrated by:
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Bahni Turpin
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By:
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Grady Hendrix
About this listen
Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias meet Dracula in this Southern-flavored supernatural thriller set in the '90s about a women's book club that must protect its suburban community from a mysterious and handsome stranger who turns out to be a real monster.
Patricia Campbell's life has never felt smaller. Her ambitious husband is too busy to give her a goodbye kiss in the morning, her kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she's always a step behind on thank-you notes and her endless list of chores. The one thing she has to look forward to is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime and paperback fiction. At these meetings they're as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are marriage, motherhood, and neighborhood gossip.
This predictable pattern is upended when Patricia meets James Harris, a handsome stranger who moves into the neighborhood to take care of his elderly aunt and ends up joining the book club. James is sensitive and well-read, and he makes Patricia feel things she hasn't felt in 20 years. But there's something off about him. He doesn't have a bank account, he doesn't like going out during the day, and Patricia's mother-in-law insists that she knew him when she was a girl, an impossibility.
When local children go missing, Patricia and the book club members start to suspect James is more of a Bundy than a Beatnik, but no one outside of the book club believes them. Have they read too many true crime books, or have they invited a real monster into their homes?
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In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens off the conventional course. Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal.
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So Beautifully Written
- By Michael on 08-01-22
By: Miriam Feldman
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Don't Look for Me
- A Novel
- By: Wendy Walker
- Narrated by: Thérèse Plummer
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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One night, Molly Clarke walked away from her life. She doesn't want to be found. Or at least, that's the story. The car abandoned miles from home. The note found at a nearby hotel. The shattered family that couldn’t be put back together. They called it a “walk away.” It happens all the time. Women disappear, desperate to leave their lives behind and start over. But is that what really happened to Molly Clarke?
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Better than Gone Girl!
- By Kristen Harris on 09-17-20
By: Wendy Walker
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What Happens Next
- By: Christina Suzann Nelson
- Narrated by: Rebecca Quinn Robertson
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular podcaster and ex-reporter Faith Byrne has made a name for herself telling stories of greatness after tragedy—but her real life does not mirror the stories she tells. When she's asked to spotlight her childhood best friend's missing person case on her podcast, she uncovers desperate secrets and must face the truth before she can move forward.
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Enjoyed This!
- By Freida Keith on 05-14-23
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Inherit the Bones
- A Detective Gemma Monroe Mystery, Book 1
- By: Emily Littlejohn
- Narrated by: Harper Landry
- Length: 11 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Secrets and lies can’t stay buried forever in Cedar Valley. In the summer, hikers and campers pack the small Colorado town’s meadows and fields. And in the winter, skiers and snowboarders take over the mountains. Season by season, year after year, time passes, and the lies, like the aspens and evergreens that surround the town, take root and spread deep. Now, someone has uncovered the lies, and it is his murder that continues a chain of events that began almost 40 years ago.
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intriguing
- By Anonymous User on 06-26-19
By: Emily Littlejohn
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Gone Again
- A Thriller
- By: Minka Kent
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt, Gabra Zackman
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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On her fortieth birthday, Celia Guest has reason to celebrate. She has a loving marriage, a beautiful Connecticut home, and treasured friends. Celia has everything she’s ever wanted. But among the cards and well-wishes, she discovers a disturbing note: You don’t deserve any of this. Who could be so cruel, so resentful, so…knowing? Then, in the early morning hours, Celia vanishes without a trace.
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Nothing really happens
- By A reader on 04-11-23
By: Minka Kent
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Wild Hearts
- Secrets and Lies, Book 1
- By: Sharon Sala
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Dallas Phillips refuses to believe her father committed suicide, even though things were tough on his farm and he was deeply in debt. When she hears he'd told a neighbor about an upcoming windfall, she grows suspicious, and her suspicion only deepens when she realizes someone is lurking in the nearby mountains after dark. For help, she turns to Trey Jakes, local police chief - and her former lover. As they begin to investigate, another mystery comes to light.
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Well written but frustrating storyline
- By debbolsen on 01-31-18
By: Sharon Sala
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The Snakes
- A Novel
- By: Sadie Jones
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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The Snakes exposes the damage wreaked by parents on children as observed by a new member of the family, Dan, a mixed-race man from Peckham who marries Bea, the daughter who refuses to take any of her father’s filthy money. But when Bea’s brother, Alex (who runs a shabby hotel in Paligny, France), dies suddenly in unexplained circumstances, the confusion and suspicion which arise bring other dark family secrets - and violence - to the surface. And none of the family, even the good members, go untouched.
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Extraordinary!
- By Bibliophile on 07-21-19
By: Sadie Jones
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Under the Water
- By: Paul Pen, Simon Bruni - translator
- Narrated by: James Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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From the outside, Frank and Grace seem to have the perfect family. He’s a loving husband, she’s a devoted wife, and together they have two happy children. But appearances can be deceiving. A strange series of misfortunes has left them reeling: an unexplained break-in, a catastrophic handgun accident, and a bizarre poisoning that’s left Grace feeling especially unnerved. Packing up their RV for a move across the country, they’re ready for a fresh start, expecting to leave all their problems safely behind.
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Good syuff
- By Kindle V C on 10-12-19
By: Paul Pen, and others
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Good story but the Narration is so bad
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Librarian Sylvia Ashe knows nothing about her past, having grown up without a father and a mother who refused to discuss him. When she stumbles upon a diary that suggests she's descended from magicians, she's skeptical. After all, magicians are special, and she's just an ordinary woman who loves books. She seeks answers from a member of the most prominent family of magicians, but she quickly learns that finding the truth won't be easy, especially when he turns out to be as artless as her, and more compelling and dangerous than books.
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The year is 1988. High school sophomores Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since the fourth grade. But after an evening of skinny-dipping goes disastrously wrong, Gretchen begins to act...different. She's moody. She's irritable. And bizarre incidents keep happening whenever she's nearby. Abby's investigation leads her to some startling discoveries - and by the time their story reaches its terrifying conclusion, the fate of Abby and Gretchen will be determined by a single question.
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In My Top 5 Audiobooks
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Salt & Broom
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Trunks packed with potions and cures, Jane Aire sets out on a crisp, clear morning in October to face the greatest challenge of her sheltered girls’-school existence. A shadow lies over Thornfield Hall and its reclusive master, Edward Rochester. And he’s hired her only as a last resort. Jane stumbles again and again as she tries to establish a rapport with her prickly new employer, but he becomes the least of her worries as a mysterious force seems to work against her.
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A lovely, bewitching, retelling of Jane for fans and newcomers alike.
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Clytemnestra
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You are born to a king, but marry a tyrant. You stand helplessly as he sacrifices your child to placate the gods. You watch him wage war on a foreign shore and you comfort yourself with violent thoughts of your own. You play the part, fooling enemies who deny you justice. And slowly, you plot. But when your husband returns in triumph, what then? Acceptance or vengeance—death follows both. So you bide your time and force the gods' hands in a wretched game of vengeance.
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A killer story for the killer Queen
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
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Good story but the Narration is so bad
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Librarian Sylvia Ashe knows nothing about her past, having grown up without a father and a mother who refused to discuss him. When she stumbles upon a diary that suggests she's descended from magicians, she's skeptical. After all, magicians are special, and she's just an ordinary woman who loves books. She seeks answers from a member of the most prominent family of magicians, but she quickly learns that finding the truth won't be easy, especially when he turns out to be as artless as her, and more compelling and dangerous than books.
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Fun to be Back
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The year is 1988. High school sophomores Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since the fourth grade. But after an evening of skinny-dipping goes disastrously wrong, Gretchen begins to act...different. She's moody. She's irritable. And bizarre incidents keep happening whenever she's nearby. Abby's investigation leads her to some startling discoveries - and by the time their story reaches its terrifying conclusion, the fate of Abby and Gretchen will be determined by a single question.
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River Mumma
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Alicia has been out of grad school for months. She has no career prospects and lives with her mom, who won’t stop texting her macabre news stories and reminders to pick up items from the grocery store. Then, one evening, the Jamaican water deity River Mumma appears to Alicia, telling her that she has twenty-four hours to scour the city for her missing comb. Alicia doesn’t understand why River Mumma would choose her. She can’t remember all the legends her relatives told her, unlike her retail co-worker Heaven, who can reel off Jamaican folklore by heart.
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Thrilling, instructive, and fun!
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Dead to the World
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Lorelei Clay isn’t like other people. She isn’t even like other supernaturals. Her specialties are the nightmares of the living, communication with the dead, and cooking bacon until it’s golden brown and perfectly crispy—no magic required.
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What exactly is she?
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By: Annabel Chase
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The Hanging City
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Seven years on the run from her abusive father, and with no hope of sanctuary among the dwindling pockets of human civilization, Lark is out of options. Her only leverage is a cursed power: she can thrust fear onto others, leaving all threats fleeing in terror. It’s a means of survival as she searches for a place to call home. If the campfire myths of her childhood are true, Lark’s sole chance for refuge could lie in Cagmar, the city of trolls—a brutal species and the sworn enemies of humanity.
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Not what I expected
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Dark Water Daughter
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Mary Firth is a Stormsinger: a woman whose voice can still hurricanes and shatter armadas. Faced with servitude to a deathless pirate lord, Mary offers her skills to his arch-rival in exchange for protection—and, more importantly, his help in sending the pirate to a watery grave. But Mary's dreams are dark and full of ghistings, spectral creatures who inhabit the ancient forests of her homeland and the figureheads of ships.
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Shadow and Bone meets Pirates of the Caribbean
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Fifty Beasts to Break Your Heart
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The stories in Fifty Beasts to Break Your Heart are about the abomination that resides within us all. That churning, clawing, ravenous yearning: the hunger to be held, and seen, and known. And the terror, too: to be loved too well, or not enough, or for long enough. To be laid bare before your sweetheart, to their horror. To be recognized as the monstrous thing you are. In these lush, strange stories, GennaRose Nethercott explores human longing in all its diamond-dark facets to create a collection that will redefine what you see as a beast, and make you beg to have your heart broken.
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Folklore for the Modern Age
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The Final Girl Support Group
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Performance
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Story
Lynnette Tarkington is a real-life final girl who survived a massacre. For more than a decade, she’s been meeting with five other final girls and their therapist in a support group for those who survived the unthinkable, working to put their lives back together. Then one woman misses a meeting, and their worst fears are realized - someone knows about the group and is determined to rip their lives apart again, piece by piece.
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1.3 speed = perfection
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By: Grady Hendrix
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I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself
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In a United States not so unlike our own, the Department of Balance has adopted a radical new form of law enforcement: rather than incarceration, wrongdoers are given a second (and sometimes, third, fourth, and fifth) shadow as a reminder of their crime—and a warning to those they encounter. Within the Department, corruption and prejudice run rampant, giving rise to an underclass of so-called Shadesters who are disenfranchised, publicly shamed, and deprived of civil rights protections.
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visuals would be better
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By: Marisa Crane
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The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet
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Follow a motley crew on an exciting journey through space - and one adventurous young explorer who discovers the meaning of family in the far reaches of the universe - in this lighthearted debut space opera from a rising sci-fi star.
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Unbearable narrator.
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By: Becky Chambers
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Uprooted
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Performance
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Story
Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life.
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Great story, hard to listen to.
- By Rej on 05-21-15
By: Naomi Novik
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Floating Hotel
- By: Grace Curtis
- Narrated by: Braden Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to the Grand Abeona Hotel: home of the finest food, the sweetest service, and the very best views the galaxy has to offer. All year round it moves from planet to planet, system to system, pampering guests across the furthest reaches of the milky way. The last word in sub-orbital luxury—and an absolute magnet for intrigue. Intrigues such as: Why are there love poems in the lobby inbox? How many Imperial spies are currently on board? What is the true purpose of the Problem Solver’s conference? And perhaps most pertinently—who is driving the ship?
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A great little sci-fi mystery
- By Jon McIntosh on 03-25-24
By: Grace Curtis
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Keeper of Enchanted Rooms
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Overall
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Performance
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Rhode Island, 1846. Estranged from his family, writer Merritt Fernsby is surprised when he inherits a remote estate in the Narragansett Bay. Though the property has been uninhabited for more than a century, Merritt is ready to call it home—until he realizes he has no choice. With its doors slamming shut and locking behind him, Whimbrel House is not about to let Merritt leave. Ever.
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I don't know how to fairly review a book like this
- By Katelyn Standiford on 12-06-22
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Clockwork Boys
- Clocktaur War, Book 1
- By: T. Kingfisher
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- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
A paladin, an assassin, a forger, and a scholar ride out of town. It's not the start of a joke, but rather an espionage mission with deadly serious stakes. T. Kingfisher's new novel begins the tale of a murderous band of criminals (and a scholar), thrown together in an attempt to unravel the secret of the Clockwork Boys, mechanical soldiers from a neighboring kingdom that promise ruin to the Dowager's city.
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Enjoyable, entertaining adventure
- By Elisabeth Carey on 08-06-19
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What listeners say about The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Barbara Lederer
- 04-29-20
Not the strong Southern ladies I know
Too long , wimpy portrayal of the women, disappointing stereotypes . Slow speaker did not fit narration
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11 people found this helpful
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- SarahE
- 10-17-20
These Men Are Assholes
This book was great. The characters were well written and each showed considerable growth throughout the story. Except the husbands, of course. They were all assholes.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Desiree
- 10-25-20
Wow
This was not what I expected it to be. It was so much better! The storyline was amazing. I am so glad I decided to listen to this one.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jo-Ann Adams
- 05-23-20
slow at first, but when it took off...wow!
I almost stopped reading. was vampire a metaphor? no. kept reading and when it started getting good, it stayed good till the end!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Erin E. Chapman
- 11-02-21
$&@! Great story $&@! Great read
I haven’t read a book this good in a long time! My own book club did not choose this book, but I decided to read it anyway and I’m so glad I did! Sometimes infuriating but ultimately satisfying as hell! Bahni Turpin’s reading deserves something made of gold.
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- Jeannie Babcock
- 04-13-20
What an absolutely fun read!
I loved it. Just an absolutely fun read. I want to read everything by this author now.
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- CWright
- 11-13-20
Not quite a well-balanced story
On a long trip, I listened to the Bahni Turpin-narrated version of this book. It was great for the trip; the story kept me engaged and the miles drifted by, but I have 2 distinct issues with this audio elements/version. First, the narrator mispronounced a couple of words--Spoleto and Camus (as in Albert) come to mind immediately. Sure, the mispronounciations weren't important to the content of the story, still they took me out of it for a bit. And second, the chapters presented on the audioplayer screen didn't match-up with the audio (i.e the screen said Chapter 20, the narration said Chapter 18) which made it difficult to start where I left off.
As for the book/story, I liked it for the trip, but I'm certain I wouldn't have delved very deeply into the text version.
I lived in Mt Pleasant, SC during the time period of this story, and although the geography doesn't quite match with my memories of the area, I will attest to the attitudes of the 'old guard' ladies' clubs as portrayed by Patricia's first attempt at joining a book club, the diachotomy of public and private relationships, and the rabid local attitudes about The Citadel, Clemson, and USC. (I was surprised that none of the 'polite' party conversation in the book involved the 1993 "Shannon Faulkner/females at The Citadel travesty". It was pervasive.) And it was this detail that led to the authenticity of fundamental story...while at the same time dragging it down. The details encumbered the story at times, yet seemed significant until the passage concluded then they were never addressed again or resolved (e.g. cosigning on the bank account, the van in the storage unit, the rats, Blue's obsession with Nazis, putting mothballs in her pockets). I kept waiting for some of the details to swing back around in an ah-ha moment, but they didn't. Also, from a literary sense I didn't like that Patricia was the sole narrator/point-of-view until it wasn't convenient for the story. If other points of view were intended to be included at convenient moments, that stylistic form should have been introduced earlier, and maintained throughout. That doesn't mean that Patricia couldn't have provided the main point-of-view, but introducing others' points-of-view would have given the story a consistency and balance that I felt it lacked.
All-in-all it was a nice story with a weird meta quality to it.
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- LR
- 04-30-20
amazing 👌
this is the best story to get hooked to audible books. try it! you won't stop listening 🤓
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- tyrogers31
- 07-11-20
My Favorite Book this Year!!!
What on earth did I just read? It’s chock full of horrific things; missing children, death, suicide, gore, and rats, lots and lots of rats! Oh, and I loved every minute of it! I don’t know where to start with this review or how to categorize this book. It was satire and humor mixed with horror and carnage. Darkly disturbing yet laugh out loud funny. This is a book that truly suits this girl’s eccentric personality.
It centers around a Charleston housewife, Patricia Campbell, in the 1990’s. Her doctor husband is obnoxious and condescending and has saddled her with his elderly mother. Her children take her for granted. Her only reprieve is the monthly book club she shares with her friends where they talk books, drink wine and share gripes.
A stranger, James Harris, moves into the neighborhood and things start to get weird. At first Patricia is friendly and helpful but is soon suspicious that he is behind all the strange occurrences. She begins to suspect he is a vampire. Do not mess with this Southern momma as she decides he must be stopped! I won’t divulge any more, you really must read it for yourself, but hang on to your seat!
I have never heard of Grady Hendrix before this book, but now my curiosity is piqued. I must read more of this author! Another listen on Audible and the narrator, Bahni Turpin, was excellent! I give this book five bloody stars!
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- cynthia ward
- 08-16-21
Excellent
The book was superb, the performance was fantastic, this book far exceeded my expectations. I began this book in a cynical manner and I ended up not just enjoying it, but unable to stop. I purchased the physical book so I could read when I could and listen when I was in my car.
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