
The Social Paradox
Autonomy, Connection, and Why We Need Both to Find Happiness
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Narrated by:
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Josh Bloomberg
About this listen
A Next Big Idea Club Must Read of February 2025
From the author of The Social Leap comes this thought-provoking exploration into humans’ two core evolutionary needs, for connection and autonomy, how the modern world has thrown them out of whack, and how we can rebalance them to improve our lives.
Why do people who have so much—leading comfortable lives filled with unprecedented freedom, choice, and abundance—often feel so unhappy and unfulfilled? This phenomenon is a defining paradox of our time and one we endlessly seek to solve. In The Social Paradox, psychologist William von Hippel argues that we need to think about this problem in a new way. By changing our perspective, we might finally see the solution, bringing us greater happiness and more satisfying relationships.
The key is to understand the interplay between our two most basic psychological needs—for connection and autonomy. Evolution made us dependent on one another for survival, instilling in us a strong need to connect. It also made us seek autonomy, so our ancestors could distinguish themselves within their groups, improving their chances to procreate and gain status.
These two opposing needs are our most fundamental psychological drivers, and while our lives once ensured a happy balance between them, the opportunities of today’s world have thrown it out of whack. As von Hippel explains, our modern world no longer demands connection but it provides endless opportunity for autonomy; this lopsidedness lies at the root of many of our most intractable problems. Recognizing this imbalance and working to counter it can drastically change how we make decisions, spend our time, and find happiness.
The Social Paradox invites us to examine the fundamental building blocks of life and society—politics, religion, urban living, marriage—in a brand-new way. Once we understand the evolutionary forces driving us, we can begin to see how to counteract the emptiness and loneliness of contemporary life.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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The Narrative Brain
- The Stories Our Neurons Tell
- By: Fritz Alwin Breithaupt PhD
- Narrated by: Brian Wiggins
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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As humans, we think in stories—stories that allow us to feel and share emotions. In order for this phenomenon to work, our brains and the ways in which we tell stories must be attuned to each other. But how exactly does this happen? Tapping into the essence of thinking in stories, Fritz Breithaupt draws on the latest scientific research, including a retelling study (comparable to the telephone game) with more than 12,000 participants, and experiments in which ChatGPT functions as storyteller.
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Validation
- How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life
- By: Caroline Fleck PhD
- Narrated by: Caroline Fleck PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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We all spend a lot of energy trying to get people to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was to demonstrate acceptance? Enter validation—communication where one accepts and sees the validity in another person’s experience. Research on validation shows that it has profound effects, from improving relationships and de-escalating conflicts to increasing one’s influence and self-compassion.
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A work of LOVE
- By Mark A. Tomski, M.D. on 02-25-25
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Pseudoscience
- An Amusing History of Crackpot Ideas and Why We Love Them
- By: Lydia Kang MD, Nate Pedersen
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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From the easily disproved to the wildly speculative, to straight-up hucksterism, Pseudoscience is a romp through much more than bad science—it’s a light-hearted look into why we insist on believing in things such as Big Foot, astrology, and the existence of aliens. Did you know, for example, that you can tell a person’s future by touching their butt? Rumpology. It’s a thing, but not really. Or that Stanley Kubrick made a fake moon landing film for the US government? Except he didn’t. Or that spontaneous human combustion is real? It ain’t, but it can be explained scientifically.
By: Lydia Kang MD, and others
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The Sexual Evolution
- How 500 Million Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships
- By: Nathan H. Lents
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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An Immense World meets Sex at Dawn in this fascinating exploration of sexual behavior throughout the animal kingdom, as evolutionary biologist Nathan H. Lents argues persuasively that many of our supposedly modern ideas about gender and human sexuality are, in fact, deeply rooted in our animal ancestors.
By: Nathan H. Lents
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The Social Leap
- The New Evolutionary Science of Who We Are, Where We Come from, and What Makes Us Happy
- By: William von Hippel
- Narrated by: Michael David Axtell
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Social Leap, William von Hippel lays out a revolutionary hypothesis, tracing human development through three critical evolutionary inflection points to explain how events in our distant past shape our lives today. From the mundane, such as why we exaggerate, to the surprising, such as why we believe our own lies and why fame and fortune are as likely to bring misery as happiness, the implications are far-reaching and extraordinary.
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Amazing
- By tiffani on 11-15-18
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Cerebral Entanglements
- How the Brain Shapes Our Public and Private Lives
- By: Allan J. Hamilton
- Narrated by: Tom Beyer
- Length: 14 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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It took a brain surgeon who's spent a lifetime in the operating room experiencing the brain's union of form and function to write this book. Cerebral Entanglements, unlike most books on the brain, looks at the intimate and vital emotions in our lives, and shows as well, how neuroimaging studies can transform our understanding of crucial emotional or mental health concerns.
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The Narrative Brain
- The Stories Our Neurons Tell
- By: Fritz Alwin Breithaupt PhD
- Narrated by: Brian Wiggins
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As humans, we think in stories—stories that allow us to feel and share emotions. In order for this phenomenon to work, our brains and the ways in which we tell stories must be attuned to each other. But how exactly does this happen? Tapping into the essence of thinking in stories, Fritz Breithaupt draws on the latest scientific research, including a retelling study (comparable to the telephone game) with more than 12,000 participants, and experiments in which ChatGPT functions as storyteller.
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Validation
- How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life
- By: Caroline Fleck PhD
- Narrated by: Caroline Fleck PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
We all spend a lot of energy trying to get people to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was to demonstrate acceptance? Enter validation—communication where one accepts and sees the validity in another person’s experience. Research on validation shows that it has profound effects, from improving relationships and de-escalating conflicts to increasing one’s influence and self-compassion.
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A work of LOVE
- By Mark A. Tomski, M.D. on 02-25-25
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Pseudoscience
- An Amusing History of Crackpot Ideas and Why We Love Them
- By: Lydia Kang MD, Nate Pedersen
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the easily disproved to the wildly speculative, to straight-up hucksterism, Pseudoscience is a romp through much more than bad science—it’s a light-hearted look into why we insist on believing in things such as Big Foot, astrology, and the existence of aliens. Did you know, for example, that you can tell a person’s future by touching their butt? Rumpology. It’s a thing, but not really. Or that Stanley Kubrick made a fake moon landing film for the US government? Except he didn’t. Or that spontaneous human combustion is real? It ain’t, but it can be explained scientifically.
By: Lydia Kang MD, and others
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The Sexual Evolution
- How 500 Million Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships
- By: Nathan H. Lents
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
An Immense World meets Sex at Dawn in this fascinating exploration of sexual behavior throughout the animal kingdom, as evolutionary biologist Nathan H. Lents argues persuasively that many of our supposedly modern ideas about gender and human sexuality are, in fact, deeply rooted in our animal ancestors.
By: Nathan H. Lents
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What the Body Knows
- A Guide to the New Science of Our Immune System
- By: John Trowsdale
- Narrated by: Mike Cooper
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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What is our immune system, and how does it work? A vast array of cells, proteins and chemicals spring into action whenever our bodies are damaged, but immunity is not something you can see, touch, or feel. It can fight off malicious bacteria and viruses, locate cancerous growths, and even rewire our brains—but sometimes our own tissues can get caught in its crossfire, with catastrophic consequences. Humans may be the most disease-ridden animals on the planet. Professor John Trowsdale shows how the immune system protects us, and how our bodies invest huge resources to keep it running.
By: John Trowsdale
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American Poison
- A Deadly Invention and the Woman Who Battled for Environmental Justice
- By: Daniel Stone
- Narrated by: Daniel Stone
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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At noon on October 27, 1924, a factory worker was admitted to a hospital in New York City, suffering from hallucinations and convulsions. Before breakfast the next day, he was dead. Alice Hamilton was determined to prevent such a tragedy from happening again. By the time of the accident, Hamilton had pioneered the field of industrial medicine in the United States. She specialized in workplace safety years before the Occupational Safety and Health Administration was created. But this time, she was up against a formidable new foe: America’s relentless push for progress, regardless of the cost.
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Great storytelling
- By Lera on 04-10-25
By: Daniel Stone
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Sleep Groove
- Why Your Body's Clock Is So Messed Up and What to Do About It
- By: Olivia Walch
- Narrated by: Meg Runyan
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Sleep Groove introduces listeners to the easy-to-understand but often misunderstood concepts and science behind circadian rhythms and how changes in daily habits can greatly improve one's sleep patterns and quality of life. Through conversational writing and humorous analogies, this book helps explain the nuances of sleep using the latest in sleep research and technology, delving into sleep-related issues like light sensitivity, jet lag, daylight savings time, napping, and how to establishing rhythmicity in our waking and sleeping routines.
By: Olivia Walch
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Dreaming Reality
- How Neuroscience and Mysticism Can Unlock the Secrets of Consciousness
- By: Vladimir Miskovic, Steven Jay Lynn
- Narrated by: Lesa Lockford
- Length: 14 hrs
- Unabridged
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We are nothing but a pack of neurons, Francis Crick once said. Vladimir Miskovic and Steven Jay Lynn show that this way of thinking is both limited and an obstacle to understanding consciousness. In Dreaming Reality, Miskovic and Lynn connect the latest findings from neuroscience—which studies the brain from the outside in, as a purely physical object—to the insights of the world’s mystical traditions, which chart elaborate cartographies of the mind from inside out through experiences of meditation, prayer, and ecstasy.
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Marvelous
- By J. N. on 02-15-25
By: Vladimir Miskovic, and others
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A Story Is a Deal
- How to use the science of storytelling to lead, motivate and persuade
- By: Will Storr
- Narrated by: Will Storr
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In this highly anticipated follow-up to the Sunday Times bestseller THE SCIENCE OF STORYTELLING, acclaimed story guru Will Storr shows you how to engage and influence your audience to create irresistible pitches, build rock solid brand loyalty, motivate teams and lead with charisma and authenticity. With examples ranging from Aztec rituals to Apple's legendary advertising successes (and long-forgotten fails), A STORY IS A DEAL lays out a revolutionary new method for creating the most persuasive messaging: by harnessing the power of our storytelling brains.
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It is the story.
- By Bob Conder on 03-05-25
By: Will Storr
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Inevitable
- Inside the Messy, Unstoppable Transition to Electric Vehicles
- By: Mike Colias
- Narrated by: Michael Butler Murray
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The question is no longer if electric vehicles will happen, or even when they'll happen, but how. Veteran automotive reporter Mike Colias takes you inside the transformation in this thoroughly reported profile of the hard pivot in the car business, a $2 trillion industry undergoing the biggest change in its 120-year history—a change that is already sending ripples across the entire global economy.
By: Mike Colias
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Stuck
- How the Privileged and the Propertied Broke the Engine of American Opportunity
- By: Yoni Appelbaum
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In this illuminating debut, Yoni Appelbaum, historian and journalist for The Atlantic, shows us that this idea has been under attack since reformers first developed zoning laws to ghettoize Chinese Americans in nineteenth-century Modesto, California. The century of legal segregation that ensued—from the zoning laws enacted to force Jewish workers back into New York’s Lower East Side to the private-sector discrimination and racist public policy that trapped Black families in Flint, Michigan to Jane Jacobs’ efforts to protect her vision of the West Village.
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land of opportunity
- By Anonymous User on 03-16-25
By: Yoni Appelbaum
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The Age of Choice
- A History of Freedom in Modern Life
- By: Sophia Rosenfeld
- Narrated by: Greg D. Barnett
- Length: 13 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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The Age of Choice tells the long history of the invention of choice as the defining feature of modern freedom. Taking listeners from the seventeenth century to today, Sophia Rosenfeld describes how the early modern world witnessed the simultaneous rise of shopping as an activity and religious freedom as a matter of being able to pick one's convictions. Similarly, she traces the history of choice in romantic life, politics, and the ideals of human rights. Throughout, she pays particular attention to the lives of women, who have frequently been the drivers of this change.
By: Sophia Rosenfeld
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Brain Boost
- Healthy Habits for a Happier Life
- By: Dr. Barbara J. Sahakian, Dr. Christelle Langley
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Your mental health is as important as your physical health and, in times of stress, it's vital to have enhanced cognition and reserves of resilience. This book is packed with practical tips, based on scientific evidence, that will teach you how to implement lifestyle strategies that will improve your brain health, cognition, and overall well-being.
By: Dr. Barbara J. Sahakian, and others
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No One Is Self-Made
- Build Your Village to Flourish in Business and Life
- By: Lakeysha Hallmon
- Narrated by: Lakeysha Hallmon
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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This book isn’t just for one kind of entrepreneur—it’s for every kind. Whether you're thriving with purpose or struggling to grow your business and battle self-doubt, No One is Self-Made offers solutions and encouragement you need to push forward with the right community. From the visionary behind the groundbreaking Village Market, a direct pipeline connecting Black businesses to engaged consumers, this inspirational guide dares to dismantle the myth of individualism and reveals how collective support can shatter systemic barriers to success.
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Great storytelling
- By Hope Goins on 03-03-25
By: Lakeysha Hallmon
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The Social Genome
- The New Science of Nature and Nurture
- By: Dalton Conley
- Narrated by: Christopher Douyard
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Sociogenomics brings together advances in molecular genetics and traditional social and behavioral science. The key tool is the polygenic index, which allows us to analyze DNA to measure a child's genetic potential. Today, we can estimate a child's adult height, how far they will go in school, and their weight as an adult—all from a cheek swab, finger prick, or vial of saliva. Dalton Conley and other researchers are using this new science to shed light on the ways in which genes shape our world, influencing how each person both creates and responds to the environment around them.
By: Dalton Conley
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Outraged
- Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground
- By: Kurt Gray
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 13 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s easy to assume that liberals and conservatives have radically different moral foundations. In Outraged, Kurt Gray showcases the latest science to demonstrate that we all have the same moral mind—that everyone’s moral judgments stem from feeling threatened or vulnerable to harm, and provides a captivating new explanation for our moral outrage, and unpacks how to best bridge divides. If you want to understand the morals of the “other side,” ask yourself a simple question—what harms do they see?
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Great book. Horrible narrator.
- By Sara Stall-Ryan on 02-22-25
By: Kurt Gray
What listeners say about The Social Paradox
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- jewelia
- 04-09-25
Excellent perspective
This perspective on our evolutionary psychology was fascinating. It’s interesting to understand on a suicidal and personal level. It explains some of the emptiness and anxiety humans are experiencing.
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- SgtTort
- 03-22-25
Very interesting
Useful, relevant info. Strongly recommend. God I hate the 15 word minimum requirement for these reviews which I write when I'm done listening to these books...
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- Camille Llamas
- 03-18-25
Huge potential for application in life
On the audiobook/reader- even though it's always best as a rule of thumb when the author reads, Josh does a great job bringing energy into the words without going too far. I didn't find the timbre of his voice distracting in the least, which is ultimately what matters most to me when consuming an audiobook.
The author's thesis is to look along one axiom for satisfaction in life, that being autonomy vs. connection which he defines well in the book but not worth repeating for the sake of this review. The concept seemed oversimplified to me at first, but the more I stewed on this the more plausible it seemed. This idea is heavily grounded in evolutionary thinking and therefore rock solid IMO - he lays out enough evidence and (dare I say) anecdote to convince anyone who's not already oriented in this direction like I am, and does a wonderful job outlining the pitfalls of such thinking and what we can really know vs. speculate upon.
Back to his thesis, I would love to see a follow up (and I will be writing to him about this), about how this axiom seemingly evolved to solve the 2 separate (but related) problems of evolution, those being autonomy for reproductive fitness vs. connection for survival. Our modern (Western) culture has all but solved the problem of survival so we tend to put our efforts into efforts that differentiate us in the mating pool, but since our genes haven't caught up to culture yet, we're left with more mental health issues and lack of overall life satisfaction we could have ever imagined. It is in this understanding where we can move the ball forward towards solving these problems in our own lives, to which Dr. Von Hippel offers potential solutions at the end, but to each individual reader (or at least for me) it seems like only the beginning!
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