Hard to read; many contradictions

I haven't finished reading this book yet, but I'm finding her arguments to be hard to listen to already. Although I agree with the author's theme that the social stigma of mental illness needs to be addressed, I find statements that she makes about her own situation to be truly troubling.

She states that often mentally ill individuals generally aren't prone to violence, and if they are prone to violence, that they are usually self-violent, but her son is violent towards others. The author repeatedly explains that her son is not only self-violent, but violent towards her and others. She states that she only truly feels safe when her son is in a lock-down facility even though his situation is truly heartbreaking to her. But through out the parts of the book that I have read so far, she is critical of other parents who wanted her child out of the charter school because of his behaviors. She's critical of her ex-husband who wants to separate their younger children from their violent brother and who had pressed charges against their son for an assault. I feel that Long is saying that it is wrong for other parents including her ex-husband to want to protect their children from her repeatedly and unpredictably violent son despite his history and her own fear of him because he has the label of "mental illness". I understand her comparing her son to Adam Lanza, but she explains early in the book that no one in Adam Lanza's life would have thought that he would have been violent in the manner that he was, but Long's son is violent. People around Michael should be concerned about his behavior.

She doesn't know how to best keep her child from enacting violence and has to keep their household's knives with her at all times, but people outside her home should be able to deal with Michael's potentially violent outbursts. She says that by taking sole custody of her 2 younger children that her ex-husband and the court system are forcing her to choose between 2 healthy children and 1 sick child, but why should those 2 healthy children be in a situation where they need to lock themselves into a room until they can safely make a dash outside to her car to lock themselves in the car?

Long repeatedly compares mental illness to other illnesses, but she doesn't seem to realize that some illnesses can't be taken care of in the home. Some individuals with critical illnesses and conditions need critical care in hospitals and other medical facilities, but she balks at the thought of having Michael in a more permanent live-in facility. She's critical of a church leader who told another mother that the mother's son should be taught religion at home rather than in the church setting, but if the son in question had severe leukemia and was too weak to have in church instruction, people would view the religious leader's suggestion as reasonable.

Furthermore, she gives a quote that states that mental illness is like other illnesses in that it can be treated with medications, but when talking about her son's diagnoses, she readily admits that his physicians haven't been able to find a combination of medications that keep him from being violent and having outbursts.

I do agree that mental illness should be less stigmatized and that insurance companies need to reevaluate their coverages. I also agree that she is in a very difficult situation in trying to find effective treatments for her son, but it sounds like her son's condition is fairly critical. Labeling it as mental illness (which it is) and complaining about the stigma of mental illness (which exists) doesn't make her son less likely to be violent towards her and his family.

I am definitely not an advocate for guns, but Long does seem to join the argument that the availability of guns is contributing to the problem of mental illness and violence. I feel that her gun statements, even if they are accurate, are just another argument that she is using to avoid saying that some mentally ill individuals are violent and a danger to those around them.

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3 people found this helpful

Siri? Is that you?

The book is really good so far...but the narrator sounds like siri. The robotic voice is really annoying.

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Help my child !

I loved this book! It was very informative from the parent 's perspective. I got feel what dealing with mental health entails. Liza long nailed it! I got the bird's eye view in what felt like a support group for mothers dealing

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Great read

Very intriging book. I learned a lot about the struggle of families suffering mental illness

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Good insight but long winded

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Probably not. She can pretty much sum it up in a five minute tv interview. There is a lot of theoretical philosophical talk and the interesting anecdotes that make the book good are too far between.

How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

Cut it in half. Dont try to be an expert in things your not and stick to talking about your family and experiences.

How could the performance have been better?

The narrator was very poor and didn't flow well. It was frustratingly choppy.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

God no.

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1 person found this helpful

This.is.how.the.narrator.speaks.throughout.the.entire.audiobook.

The narration is choppy and forced. Other than that, I feel the book is good.

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I Loved It (from my opinion as a Licensed Counselor)

This is such a brave, well-written, perspective/empathy enhancing personal experience from a mother of a child suffering from mental illness. This is something that we would all be better from understanding more and I’m so grateful to Liza for sharing her experience and gift of writing to bring to light something so important for the world and all of us to hear.

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Much needed information for families

Our son was developing normally until 1997 at the age of 16, he was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic with major depression. One warm day, he and his friend were arrested with a small amount marijuana with our son being court ordered to attend drug counseling. During a counseling session he reported that he was suicidal, and this was the beginning of a life long journey for him and our family as we have experienced much of what others have. I only wish that I’d known where to find an educational advocate and a support system for all of us, because my focus was on keeping him alive, navigating through all of the medications and side effects and maintaining my employment with health insurance. This book shines a much needed light on a topic that is extremely stigmatized for the child, their siblings and parents.

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spot on.

very accurate examples of living life with a child or loved one with mental illness and the struggles of getting them help.

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Must read for anyone dealing with mental health

A very honest look at the trouble with the behavioral health system. And sadly reading this almost 10 years from the time it was written, not much has changed. And a real look at the challenges on the whole family.
Some reviews I honestly don’t understand, it’s a great book, but it’s subjective.

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