The Midwest Survival Guide
How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat... Everything with Ranch
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Narrated by:
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Charlie Berens
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By:
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Charlie Berens
About this listen
Everything you need to know to survive in the greatest place on Earth
Have you ever had a goodbye lasting more than four hours? Do you lack the emotional capacity to say “I love you” so you just tell your loved ones to “watch out for deer”? Have you apologized to a stranger because she stepped on your foot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re a Midwesterner - or a Midwesterner at heart.
Even if you answered no, you probably know someone who held the door for you from two football fields away. He likely waved at you and said, “Hey there", like you organized the church bar crawl together. That was a Midwesterner in the wild. We understand that your interaction was strange - but it’s likely to get stranger. Don’t wait until they stick their head in your second-floor window to invite you over for a perch fry because they climbed on your roof to clean your gutters. There’s no need to pull the pepper spray; this species is helpful by nature. And the relationship could be very symbiotic - but only if you let it happen. And that’s where this book comes into play.
Inspired by my comedy tours across the Midwest and life growing up in Wisconsin, this book is an exploration into my favorite region on Earth. Some may think the Midwest is just a bunch of bland flyover states filled with less diversity than a Monsanto monoculture. But scratch that surface with your buck knife, and you’ll find rich cultures and traditions proving we’re more than just fifty shades of milk.
So whether you’re a born-and-bred Midwesterner looking to sharpen your skill at apologies or a costal elite visiting the in-laws for the holidays, this book will help you navigate the Midwest, with everything from the best flannel looks to dating and mating rituals (yes, casserole is involved) to climbing the corporate corn silo to how to handle a four-way stop - and every backyard brat fry in between.
And for those of you who don’t like listening, don’t worry - we’ve got pictures! Toss in illustrations, sidebars, quizzes, and jokes worthy of a supper club stall and The Midwest Survival Guide is just the walleye-deep look into this distinctive, beautiful, and bizarre American culture you’ve been looking for.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Charlie Berens (P)2021 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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American food is the story of mash-ups. Immigrants arrive, cultures collide, and out of the push-pull come exciting new dishes and flavors. But for Edward Lee, who, like Anthony Bourdain or Gabrielle Hamilton, is as much a writer as he is a chef, that first surprising bite is just the beginning. What about the people behind the food? What about the traditions, the innovations, the memories? A natural-born storyteller, Lee decided to hit the road and spent two years uncovering fascinating narratives from every corner of the country.
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Good listen for the aspiring food snob
- By thurman r. on 02-09-22
By: Edward Lee
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Cooking as Fast as I Can
- A Chef’s Story of Family, Food, and Forgiveness
- By: Cat Cora
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Cooking as Fast as I Can, Cat Cora reveals, for the first time, coming-of-age experiences from early childhood sexual abuse to the realities of life as a lesbian in the Deep South. She shares how she found her passion in the kitchen and went on to attend the prestigious Culinary Institute of America and apprentice under Michelin-star chefs in France. After her big break as a cohost on the Food Network's Melting Pot, Cat broke barriers by becoming the first-ever female Iron Chef.
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Great listen for a chef
- By Nikki on 04-10-24
By: Cat Cora
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The Way Life Should Be
- A Novel
- By: Christina Baker Kline
- Narrated by: Caitlin Davies
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Angela can feel the clock ticking. She is single in New York City, stuck in a job she doesn't want and a life that seems to have somehow just happened. She inherited a flair for Italian cooking from her grandmother, but she never seems to have the time for it - these days, her oven holds only sweaters. Tacked to her office bulletin board is a photo from a magazine of a tidy cottage on the coast of Maine - a charming reminder of a life that could be hers if she could only muster the courage to go after it.
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Simple story
- By Dianna Bogart on 06-09-15
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Lunch in Paris
- A Love Story, with Recipes
- By: Elizabeth Bard
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Paris for a weekend visit, Elizabeth Bard sat down to lunch with a handsome Frenchman - and never went home again. Was it love at first sight? Or was it the way her knife slid effortlessly through her pavé au poivre, the steak's pink juices puddling into the buttery pepper sauce? Lunch in Paris is a memoir about a young American woman caught up in two passionate love affairs - one with her new beau, Gwendal, the other with French cuisine.
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ok to pass the time
- By Robin on 03-25-13
By: Elizabeth Bard
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Fast Food Maniac
- From Arby's to White Castle, One Man's Supersized Obsession with America's Favorite Food
- By: Jon Hein
- Narrated by: Jon Hein
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The charismatic radio personality from The Howard Stern Show celebrates what we love about American fast food, covering chains both national and regional and offering an opinionated view on restaurant history, secret menu items, and even drive-thru strategy.
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How is Jon Hein still alive?
- By Big Timmy Jim Tim on 03-12-17
By: Jon Hein
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Hunting Camp 52: Tales from a North Woods Deer Camp
- By: John Marvin Hanson
- Narrated by: Kevin Meyer
- Length: 5 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Meet the Jolly Boys - five men from northern Wisconsin who built a deer hunting shack in 1955 and established a tradition that has now lasted over six decades. Hunting Camp 52, affectionately known as Blue Heaven, is a place where every trail, rock, and ravine has its own nickname; every kill is recorded by hand on a window shade; every hunter happily croons along during evening songfests; and every rowdy poker game lasts late into the night.
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Hunting Camp Memories
- By Amazon Customer on 11-19-24
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Just Add Magic
- Just Add Magic Series, Book 1
- By: Cindy Callaghan
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Kelly Quinn and her two BFFs discover a dusty old cookbook while cleaning out the attic, the girls decide to try a few of the mysterious and supposedly magical recipes that are inside. To their surprise, the Keep 'Em Quiet Cobbler actually silences Kelly's pesky little brother and the Hexberry Tart puts a curse on mean girl Charlotte. Is it possible that the recipes really are magic? Who wrote them and where did they come from? And most importantly of all, when boys get involved, what kind of trouble are the girls stirring up for themselves?
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A fun story with a pinch of magic
- By Jennifer C. on 09-22-22
By: Cindy Callaghan
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Money Secrets of the Amish
- Finding True Abundance in Simplicity, Sharing, and Saving
- By: Lorilee Craker
- Narrated by: Lorilee Craker
- Length: 4 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Take one thoroughly modern gal with a recessionary income problem, mix with the practices of a culture that has proved to be recession-proof, and what have you got? A financial planner in a straw hat. When writer Lorilee Craker learned that the Amish are not just surviving but thriving in the economic downturn, she decided to find out why.
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Pure Listening Pleasure!
- By Yaz on 08-04-11
By: Lorilee Craker
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Goodbye, Vitamin
- A Novel
- By: Rachel Khong
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Freshly disengaged from her fiancé and feeling that life has not turned out quite the way she planned, 30-year-old Ruth quits her job, leaves town, and arrives at her parents' home to find that situation more complicated than she'd realized. Her father, a prominent history professor, is losing his memory and is only erratically lucid. Ruth's mother, meanwhile, is lucidly erratic.
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Hello Sweet Sweet Book
- By Syd Young on 08-06-17
By: Rachel Khong
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The Devil in the Kitchen
- Sex, Pain, Madness, and the Making of a Great Chef
- By: Marco Pierre White, James Steen
- Narrated by: Timothy Bentinck
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In The Devil in the Kitchen, White tells the story behind his ascent from working-class roots to culinary greatness, leaving no dish unserved as he relays raucous and revealing tales featuring some of the biggest names in the food world and beyond, including: Mario Batali, Gordon Ramsay, Albert Roux, Raymond Blanc, Michael Caine, Damien Hirst, and even Prince Charles.
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A chef / restaurateur must.
- By Brandon on 07-18-16
By: Marco Pierre White, and others
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The Bucolic Plague
- How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir
- By: Josh Kilmer-Purcell
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A happy series of accidents and a doughnut-laden escape upstate take Josh Kilmer-Purcell and his partner, Brent Ridge, to the doorstep of the magnificent (and fabulously for sale) Beekman Mansion. And so begins their transformation from uptight urbanites into the 200-year-old-mansion-owning Beekman Boys. Suddenly Josh---a full-time New Yorker with a successful advertising career---and Brent find themselves weekend farmers, surrounded by nature's bounty and an eclectic cast.
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Selling your dream and name dropping
- By Mark on 09-13-12
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The Kitchen Counter Cooking School
- How A Few Simple Lessons Transformed Nine Culinary Novices into Fearless Home Cooks
- By: Kathleen Flinn
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After graduating from Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, writer Kathleen Flinn returned with no idea what to do next, until one day at a supermarket she watched a woman loading her cart with ultraprocessed foods. Flinn's "chefternal" instinct kicked in: she persuaded the stranger to reload with fresh foods, offering her simple recipes for healthy, easy meals.
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Just as much a self-help book as a cookbook.
- By J. Locke on 03-07-13
By: Kathleen Flinn
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Hotbox
- Inside Catering, the Food World's Riskiest Business
- By: Matt Lee, Ted Lee
- Narrated by: Matt Lee, Ted Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Matt Lee and Ted Lee take on the competitive, wild world of high-end catering, exposing the secrets of a food business few home cooks or restaurant chefs ever experience.
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Needs to be a series!
- By Sallyterra on 04-27-19
By: Matt Lee, and others
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Death al Dente
- Food Lovers' Village Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Leslie Budewitz
- Narrated by: Rebecca Mitchell
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The town of Jewel Bay, Montana - known as a Food Lovers' Village - is obsessed with homegrown and homemade Montana fare. So when Erin Murphy takes over her family's century-old general store, she turns it into a boutique market filled with local delicacies. But Erin's freshly booming business might go rotten when a former employee turns up dead.
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Four and a half stars
- By Beatrice on 05-01-17
By: Leslie Budewitz
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Finally! A magic pill ;-)
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Cassandra King was leading a quiet life as a professor, divorced "Sunday wife" of a preacher, and debut novelist when she met Pat Conroy. Their friendship bloomed into a tentative, long-distance relationship. Pat and Cassandra ultimately married, partly because Pat hated the commute from coastal South Carolina to her native Alabama. It was a union that would last 18 years, until the beloved literary icon’s death from pancreatic cancer in 2016. In this poignant, intimate memoir, the woman he called King Ray looks back at her love affair with a natural-born storyteller.
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Thank you.
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Battle of Brothers
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From best-selling author and historical consultant to the award-winning Netflix series The Crown, an unparalleled insider account of tumult, secrecy, and schism in the royal family.
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Same book, different title
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Nazi Billionaires
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A groundbreaking investigation of how the Nazis helped German tycoons make billions off the horrors of the Third Reich and World War II—and how America allowed them to get away with it.
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Good but flawed
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By: David de Jong
What listeners say about The Midwest Survival Guide
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- toni wetzel
- 01-17-22
intelligent and sentimental
Intelligent and sentimental humor. well researched. I have listened twice. i want to listen and learn more about the Midwest and laugh.
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- Scott M.
- 07-11-22
Quintessential Midwest
I just moved to the South from the Chicago area and I have drawn many strange looks, laughing hysterically in private and public at how painfully accurate this book is. I've easily listened to this book 5 times in the last month and counting!
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- Todd
- 09-03-23
Spot on
It’s a funny and accurate portrayal of life in the Midwest. This is a very easy listen that I’ll definitely go back and listen to again and again.
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- A random joe
- 03-02-22
good, but...
you said Willis Tower. what kinda Midwesterner are you? It's pronounced "SEARS TOWER"!!! other than that, it's funny. for anyone else reading about the Chicago drivers - it's true. once you're an hour outside Chicago it's back to normal again.
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- Anonymous User
- 11-18-22
Funny and informative
I moved to the Midwest a year ago and found this guide both enjoyable to listen to and helpful as I acclimate to my new home. BTW - I bought this book on a good sale.
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- D. Sonnleitner
- 01-19-22
Great book!
Loved it! makes ya realize cultural differences in the Midwest. Very entertaining and hard to put down...ope...I mean stop the Audible because of interruptions.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-07-23
Exactly what you would hope for and expect
Charlie does a great job representing the Midwest in this reading of the survival guide. I usually don’t write reviews, but after being reminded of Midwest nice, I felt I had to.
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- Austin Cy
- 04-05-23
if you want to know about the Midwest
very fun. reminds me of home. glad I got to listen. hope you enjoy.
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- Mathias farnsworth
- 12-31-21
Midwest you bet yah
If you moved away from the Midwest, this book with bring you back to the area. It is full of stories that will entertain you and make you laugh
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- Di's
- 12-12-22
Welcome to realities of the Midwest… lol
Informative, true and humorous. Slightly slanted to northern Midwest but great look into the oddities of how we midwesterners function. Worth the listen.
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