The Holy F--king Bible
According to Matt Shaw
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Narrated by:
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Matt Shaw
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By:
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Matt Shaw
About this listen
The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw.
Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve.
For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.
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On the outskirts of a town 30 miles from Istanbul, a master well digger and his young apprentice are hired to find water on a barren plain. As they struggle in the summer heat, excavating without luck meter by meter, the two will develop a filial bond neither has known before - not the poor middle-aged bachelor nor the middle-class boy whose father disappeared after being arrested for politically subversive activities. The pair will come to depend on each other and exchange stories reflecting disparate views of the world.
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Drags On
- By T. Conrad on 10-25-17
By: Orhan Pamuk
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The Memory of Earth
- Homecoming, Volume 1
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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High above the planet Harmony, the Oversoul watches. Its task, programmed so many millennia ago, is to guard the human settlement on this planet, to protect this fragile remnant of Earth from all threats...to protect them, most of all, from themselves.
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I keep hoping, but, alas, ...
- By Ole Hippie on 02-22-10
By: Orson Scott Card
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Great Lives: Moses
- A Man of Selfless Dedication (Great Lives Series)
- By: Charles R. Swindoll
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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What can the incredible life of Moses teach us about modern Christianity? When you face your personal Red Sea, will you be prepared like Moses was? In Great Lives: Moses, pastor and bestselling author Charles Swindoll gives us the facts based squarely on the truth revealed in God's Word. He also fills in the fine-line details of Moses' life with emotion and feeling, because Moses, like all of us, was a human being with faults and frailties. And finally, Swindoll helps us apply the lessons of Moses' life to our own daily dilemmas.
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Great insight!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-26-20
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The Stranger House
- By: Reginald Hill
- Narrated by: Gordon Griffin
- Length: 16 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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For years, the Stranger House has stood in the village of Illthwaite, offering refuge to travellers. People like Sam, a brilliant young mathematician, who believes that anything that can't be explained by maths isn't worth explaining. And Miguel, a historian running from a priests' seminary, who sees ghosts. Sam is an experienced young woman, Miguel a 26-year-old virgin.
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an OK read
- By Jen Terry on 01-18-08
By: Reginald Hill
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Aavarana
- The Veil
- By: Sandeep Balakrishna - translator, S. L. Bhyrappa
- Narrated by: Deepti Gupta
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Aavarana: The Veil by S. L. Bhyrappa is a story of a free-spirited and rebellious young woman, Lakshmi, who marries the man she is deeply in love with. Amir, her husband, requests she convert to Islam, and she reluctantly agrees. Despite her father being completely against the marriage, she breaks ties with him and changes her name to Razia. However, things change for the worse, and she discovers a different side to Amir. He is not the progressive and liberal person she thought he was.
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History and research
- By Manan Shukla MD on 11-16-24
By: Sandeep Balakrishna - translator, and others
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The Daily Message
- By: Eugene H. Peterson
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 76 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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The much-anticipated daily "reading" version of The Message in audio format is finally here. Designed for individuals as well as small groups, The Daily Message combines Discipleship Journal's renowned book-at-a-time reading plan with a flexible format that allows the listener to go through the Bible in one year or spread out the listening with an alternate two-year plan. This version provides monthly plans for 26 readings, and allows for reflection time, minimizing frustration.
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Making daily Bible reading an attainable goal!
- By Mark and Amy Acker on 09-12-12
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He Still Moves Stones
- By: Max Lucado
- Narrated by: Max Lucado
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Abridged
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Why does the Bible contain so many stories of hurting people? Though their situations vary, their conditions don't. They have nowhere to turn. Yet before their eyes stands a never-say-die Galilean who majors in stepping in when everyone else steps out. Lucado reminds us that the purpose of these portraits isn't to tell us what Jesus did-but rather to remind us what Jesus still does.
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Great book but buy a different version
- By Joshua Pearson on 10-14-24
By: Max Lucado
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And It Was Good
- Reflections on Beginnings (The Genesis Trilogy, Book 1)
- By: Madeleine L'Engle, Rachel Held Evans - Foreword
- Narrated by: Pamela Almand
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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This classic work of spirituality from the author of A Wrinkle in Time offers life-transforming insights on the rich heritage of the Bible and shows how the characters of this ancient text are relevant for living the good life now. In the first book of her Genesis Trilogy, beloved author Madeleine L'Engle casts long, loving, and perceptive glances not only at the created universe but also at its Creator.
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interesting book
- By Naomi Gardner on 08-21-19
By: Madeleine L'Engle, and others
What listeners say about The Holy F--king Bible
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-06-24
Great guy
Is he sending in his resumes
Maybe not even be able too use this
Excuse me
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- Kim Dietter
- 08-15-23
Different Perspective on an Age Old Tale
I have found listening to Mr. Shaw read his work is a little happy treat in my day. His version of the Old Testament was quite entertaining. Right off the back he gives you that warning that he's doing it regardless how you feel and he makes no apologies. He also tells the audience, this is for those individuals who had no intention of reading the Bible. As a person who grew up Baptist and live life as a Pagan, having this perspective that includes "The Gods" (once you read/listen you'll understand) as they work the the creations of life and the first half of the Bible. There may or may not be the introduction to the scientific explanation of creation too, but I'll never tell for certain.
This was so much fun to listen to and I learned/revisited things I was shaky on although only so much could be fit in the allotted time. But if you're on a short trip and you've got an hour, definitely give this a chance.
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- Mel and Em
- 08-04-22
hilarious
what a fun twist on the Bible and even though it's poking fun it actually was less mean and pure comedy and Matt's performance fits it perfectly 10/10
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- Michelle Mendoza
- 11-26-24
Absolutely hilarious
Not for religious folx. This book is absolutely hilarious and brilliant. I read it in one go and will be reading it again later with my wife because I need to share the hilarity. I have a large online order of books shipping from Shaw’s personal website, for holiday, and after reading this book I am even more excited for the shipment.
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- sandrine Levy
- 06-15-23
Pure comedy
Matt's performance was amazing. I was expecting mean based on the intro, but was laughing out loud in the middle of the street. Great book!
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1 person found this helpful