The Future According to Me
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By:
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Rob Kutner
About this listen
Hipster aliens! Existentially aware smart toilets! Instant genital swapping! The future will be all of these things and so much more in Conan/Daily Show writer Rob Kutner's collection of "quick hits" on what could be but probably shouldn't.
Includes never-before-seen primary source documents like:
- The official memo of the triumphant Jewish/gay/lizard-people conspiracy
- The diary of a time-travelling garbage man
- The unearthed prophecies of the great Seusstrodamus
If you listen to this book, you are guaranteed to start traveling into the future.
©2011 Rob Kutner (P)2015 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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This Is How I Save My Life
- From California to India, a True Story of Finding Everything When You Are Willing to Try Anything
- By: Amy B. Scher
- Narrated by: Amy B. Scher
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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When Amy B. Scher was struck with undiagnosed late-stage, chronic Lyme disease, the best physicians in America labeled her condition incurable and potentially terminal. Deteriorating rapidly, she went on a search to save her own life - from the top experts in Los Angeles and the world-renowned Mayo Clinic in Minneapolis to a state-of-the-art hospital in Chicago. After exhausting all of her options in the US, she discovered a possible cure - but it was highly experimental, available only in India, and had as much of a probability of killing her as it did of curing her.
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A great comfort
- By Sue on 07-07-18
By: Amy B. Scher
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The Worm at the Core
- On the Role of Death in Life
- By: Jeff Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon, Tom Pyszczynski
- Narrated by: John Pruden
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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More than 100 years ago, the American philosopher William James wrote that the knowledge that we must die is "the worm at the core" of the human condition - a universally shared fear that informs all our thoughts and actions, from the great art we create to the devastating wars we wage.
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Skeptical at first, but they won me over.
- By Tory Giddens on 06-07-20
By: Jeff Greenberg, and others
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The Postmortal
- A Novel
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world where an anti-aging cure is available worldwide, immortality comes with its own unique problems. John Farrell is about to get "The Cure". Old age can never kill him now. The only problem is, everything else still can.
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Interesting concept but bleak and wearing
- By Amazon Customer on 05-15-12
By: Drew Magary
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Mother Tongue
- By: Demetria Martinez
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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A nameless El Salvadoran man, fleeing torture and imprisonment, arrives in the United States - his only hope for asylum. The American woman who has volunteered to help him is searching for something to add meaning to her life. When these two lonely people meet, their haunting relationship fulfills their hearts' desires, but it also gives life to their darkest dreams.
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Amazing Story
- By Alexa :3 on 09-26-24
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The Age of Radiance
- The Epic Rise and Dramatic Fall of the Atomic Era
- By: Craig Nelson
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 14 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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From the New York Times best-selling author of Rocket Men and the award-winning biographer of Thomas Paine comes the first complete history of the Atomic Age, a brilliant, magisterial account of the men and women who uncovered the secrets of the nucleus, brought its power to America, and ignited the 20th century.
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Strong finish
- By David's Opinions and Reviews on 05-04-14
By: Craig Nelson
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Asleep
- The Forgotten Epidemic That Became Medicine’s Greatest Mystery
- By: Molly Caldwell Crosby
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1918, a world war raged, and a lethal strain of influenza circled the globe. In the midst of all this death, a bizarre disease appeared in Europe. Eventually known as encephalitis lethargica, or sleeping sickness, it spread worldwide, leaving millions dead or locked in institutions. Then, in 1927, it disappeared as suddenly as it had arrived. Asleep, set in 1920s and '30s New York, follows a group of neurologists through hospitals and asylums as they try to solve this epidemic and treat its victims - who learned the worst fate was not dying of it, but surviving it.
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Scary, and still unsolved, medical mystery
- By joyce on 12-14-14
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The Draco Tavern
- By: Larry Niven
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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When a tremendous spacecraft takes orbit around Earth's moon and begins sending smaller landers down toward the North Pole, the newly arrived visitors quickly set up a permanent spaceport in Siberia. Their presence attracts many, including Rick Schumann, who establishes a tavern catering to all the various species of visiting aliens, a place he calls the Draco Tavern. From the mind of best-selling author Larry Niven come 27 tales and vignettes from this interstellar gathering place.
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A Great Listen
- By D. Arkless on 04-07-07
By: Larry Niven
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Fury
- By: Salman Rushdie
- Narrated by: Salman Rushdie
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The world renowned author of The Satanic Verses and The Ground Beneath Her Feet, Salman Rushdie is a Whitbread Award winner and recipient of the Booker Prize. His first truly American novel, Fury is a metaphorically rich black comedy that reflects the pressure-cooker of modern life. Malik Solanka, irascible doll-maker and retired historian of ideas, suffers the pain of wanting without knowing exactly what it is he wants.
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surprisingly good
- By David on 11-21-07
By: Salman Rushdie
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You Better Be Lightning
- By: Andrea Gibson
- Narrated by: Andrea Gibson
- Length: 1 hr and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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You Better Be Lightning ranges from close examination of the deeply personal to the vastness of the world, exploring the expansiveness of the human experience from love to illness, from space to climate change, and so much more in between.
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Disappointed
- By Rikki B. on 01-31-23
By: Andrea Gibson
What listeners say about The Future According to Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Seligman'sDog
- 01-28-21
like Saunders or Teddy Wayne
It's silly but I liked it. Reminded me of Welcome to Night Vale. I need more words. I thought his voice waa sexy in the intro but I like nerdy guys.
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- Jon
- 05-07-18
Funny...interesting
Funny and interesting. Personalities you know telling either their version or sarcastic fears of the future.
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- Holt
- 10-28-20
60 seconds
just ok. worthwhile time filler while short attention span reigns. good enough I guess. words.
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- Annabells
- 12-02-20
Yikes! Aged badly & I'm shocked it's on Audible
The first 15min delivers homophobia, antisemitism & transphobia. This content is a decade old & has aged poorly. The overacted narration is cringe worthy, but it's clearly meant to show the author intends humor rather than hate. Unfortunately, the "comedy" is mainly offensive stereotypes of Jewish, female & LGBT folks. The audiobook's format is a series of short unrelated clips, so it lacks sufficient context & build-up to succeed as satire.
The clip characterizing Jews as conniving lizard-people is not funny. Neither is the clip discussing future gender transitions with disgust. Another clip foretells extinction of "chalkies," aka white, nasal-accented barbarians in Boston. I enjoy edgy humor, but this isn't humor. It doesn't offer funny stories or anecdotes. It's literally a collection of clips mocking groups of people based on intrinsic traits. I'm not familiar with the TV show the author wrote for, so maybe these are bigoted characters in a running gag. Even so, it doesn't work in this audiobook. It sounds like the author interviewed bigots & described their fears about the future (like those darn trans people changing genders, white folks going extinct, & women being able to fully zone out while husbands do sex to us - cuz ya know, females are objects right? hahaha 🙄).
There are a few momentary reprieves from offensive rambling, e.g., the best 1min segment that's in the preview. That's why I wrote this review. Hopefully this review saves other listeners from being offended or duped into wasting time. Why does Audible recommend this out of all their content? This is unrelated to the books I listen to (on science & space). Audible/ Amazon should design or buy a data algorithm like Google/ YouTube that pushes their best rather than worst content. YT wouldn't push this decade-old questionable comedy, bc it'd be downvoted & reported once it becomes inconsistent with modern-day standards.
In summary, this content is unlikely to make you laugh, & it may make you feel bad. You may find it a rambling nonsensical waste of time, or a mean-spirited mockery of minority groups. If you find this funny in the 2020s, you should NOT risk having more than 2 drinks at the office holiday party, because your sense of humor is likely to get you fired. 😆
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3 people found this helpful
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- Kewlkev
- 12-06-22
Presented well for what it was.
Maybe it is just me, but I actually found the novel annoying.The story and the voice actors was just too annoying for me to finish.
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- Amazon customer
- 01-07-21
Incredibly stupid
While some people may find this audiobook, which consists of 40-50 short (1-2 minute) “stories”, entertaining, I am not one of those people. Instead, I found these to be incredibly stupid attempts at humor and a complete waste of time. Narrated by a host of different performers, the quality of the performances themselves is inconsistent. Some are good, while others are almost unlistenable. I cannot recommend this audiobook to anyone, but other people may find it entertaining if this kind of “humor” is their cup of tea.
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1 person found this helpful
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- M. S. Cohen
- 05-30-22
Disjointed, Confusing, Badly performed
I love science fiction books but this isn’t good science fiction at all. Each chapter takes a concept, spells it out, and then runs down what that means. No story, no plot, no characters, no twists — none of the elements that make good stories.
A waste of money, but worse a waste of time.
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