Spousonomics
Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes
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Narrated by:
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Renée Raudman
About this listen
Are you happy in your marriage—except for those weekly spats over who empties the dishwasher more often? Not a single complaint—unless you count the fact that you haven’t had sex since the Bush administration? Prepared to be there in sickness and in health—so long as it doesn’t mean compromising? Be honest: Ever lay awake thinking how much more fun married life used to be? If you’re a member of the human race, then the answer is probably “yes” to all of the above. Marriage is a mysterious, often irrational business. Making it work till death do you part—or just till the end of the week—isn’t always easy. And no one ever handed you a user’s manual. Until now.
With Spousonomics, Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson offer something new: a clear-eyed, rational route to demystifying your disagreements and improving your relationship. The key, they propose, is to think like an economist. That’s right: an economist. Economics is the study of resource allocation, after all. How do we—as partners in a society, a business, or a marriage—spend our limited time, money, and energy? And how do we allocate these resources most efficiently? Spousonomics answers these questions by taking classic economic concepts and applying them to the domestic front.
For example:
• Arguing all night isn’t a sign of a communication breakdown; you’re just extremely loss-averse—and by refusing to give an inch, you’re risking even greater losses.
• Stay late at the office, or come home for dinner? Be honest about your mother-in-law, or keep your mouth shut and smile? Let the cost-benefit analysis make the call.
• Getting your spouse to clean the gutters isn’t a matter of nagging or guilt-tripping; it’s a question of finding the right incentives.
• Being “too busy” to exercise or forgetting your anniversary (again): your overtaxed memory and hectic schedule aren’t to blame—moral hazard is.
• And when it comes to having more sex: merely a question of supply and demand! Spousonomics cuts through the noise of emotions, egos, and tired relationship clichés.
Here, at last, is a smart, funny, refreshingly realistic, and deeply researched book that brings us one giant leap closer to solving the age-old riddle of a happy, healthy marriage.
©2011 Jenny Anderson & Paula Szuchman (P)2011 Random HouseListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Comparing marriage to a business doesn't sound very romantic. But in Spousonomics, journalists Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson make a convincing and creative case for how the dismal science can help reconcile marital disputes. Applying economic research to anecdotes from couples around the country, Szuchman and Anderson draw on concepts such as the division of labor and game theory to help readers determine who should mow the lawn or how to persuade a homebody spouse to join you at the movies. Just as technology has made it easier for countries to be flexible in the global economy, the authors propose, so has the redefining of gender roles allowed spouses to become more adaptable partners.” (Lisa Bonos, The Washington Post)
“Apply economic principles to marriage and you will be happier is the message —and the more you think about it, the more it makes perfect sense.... Thinking of your marriage not as a love affair that is slowly getting buried under layers of family responsibilities, but as a start-up business that is adding skills by the day, makes everything look completely different. Rosy, even. And pretty sexy. Try it.” (Shane Watson, The Sunday Times)
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- By: Dan Ariely
- Narrated by: Simon Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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In a series of illuminating, often surprising experiments, MIT behavioral economist Dan Ariely refutes the common assumption that we behave in fundamentally rational ways. Blending everyday experience with groundbreaking research, Ariely explains how expectations, emotions, social norms, and other invisible, seemingly illogical forces skew our reasoning abilities.
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Good lessons, mediocre science?
- By William Stanger on 02-24-09
By: Dan Ariely
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The End of Men
- And the Rise of Women
- By: Hanna Rosin
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Men have been the dominant sex since - well, the dawn of mankind. And yet, as journalist Hanna Rosin discovered, that long-held truth is no longer true. At this unprecedented moment, women are no longer merely gaining on men; they have pulled decisively ahead by almost every measure. Already "the end of men" - the phrase Rosin coined - has entered the lexicon as indelibly as Simone de Beauvoir’s "second sex", Betty Friedan’s "feminine mystique", Susan Faludi’s "backlash", and Naomi Wolf’s "beauty myth" have.
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Great book, don't care for the reader's style
- By Darren on 12-05-12
By: Hanna Rosin
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The Up Side of Down
- Why Failing Well Is the Key to Success
- By: Megan McArdle
- Narrated by: Mia Barron
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Most new products fail. So do most small businesses. And most of us, if we are honest, have experienced a major setback in our personal or professional lives. So what determines who will bounce back and follow up with a home run? If you want to succeed in business and in life, Megan McArdle argues in this hugely thought-provoking book, you have to learn how to harness the power of failure. McArdle has been one of our most popular business bloggers for more than a decade, covering the rise and fall of some the world' s top companies and challenging us to think differently about how we live, learn, and work.
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Good Book
- By Ray on 05-21-14
By: Megan McArdle
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Stopping Stress Before It Stops You
- A Game Plan for Every Mom
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Lucille Cole
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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You can reduce stress and enjoy your life! Homemaker, career woman, wife, supermom—sometimes the roles you have to fill all at once can get to be too much. Internationally known psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman has seen scores of women who are overcome by stress. With humor, insight, and practical solutions, this best-selling author helps you manage the six stress points in your life: kids, career, husband, housework, money, and crammed schedules.
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He assumes you're married to an idiot!
- By Karen on 06-04-11
By: Kevin Leman
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Overwhelmed
- Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time
- By: Brigid Schulte
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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According to the Leisure Studies Department at the University of Iowa, true leisure is “that place in which we realize our humanity.” If that’s true, argues Brigid Schulte, then we're doing dangerously little realizing of our humanity. In Overwhelmed, Schulte, a staff writer for The Washington Post, asks: Are our brains, our partners, our culture, and our bosses making it impossible for us to experience anything but “contaminated time”?
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Depressing, Dreary Listening Experience
- By Deb A on 04-19-15
By: Brigid Schulte
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Getting to 50/50
- How Working Parents Can Have It All by Sharing It All - and Why It’s Good for Your Marriage, Your Career, Your Kids, and You
- By: Sharon Meers, Joanna Strober
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober are professionals, wives, and mothers. They understand the challenges and rewards of two-career households. They also know that families thrive not in spite of working mothers but because of them. You can have a great career, a great marriage, and be a great mother. The key is tapping into your best resource and most powerful ally - the man you married.
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Great overall, but a bit offensive...
- By Tristan Matthews on 01-09-15
By: Sharon Meers, and others
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You Lost Him at Hello
- From Dating to 'I Do': Secret Strategies from One of America’s Top Dating Coaches
- By: Jess McCann
- Narrated by: Julia Farhat
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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She used to make the same mistakes we've all made with men - until she realized that the winning formula to attracting the right guy lay in skills she already had. As a successful saleswoman, Jess has practiced the techniques in promoting a product, finding the right approach, making the pitch, and closing deal after deal. Once she started to apply these same techniques to the dating scene, her love life made a complete 180, and she found herself with more interested men than she knew what to do with.
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great book
- By Barbara on 04-24-13
By: Jess McCann
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The Argument-Free Marriage
- 28 Days to Creating the Marriage You've Always Wanted with the Spouse You Already Have
- By: Fawn Weaver
- Narrated by: Michelle Lasley
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Is an argument-free marriage possible? Fawn Weaver's answer is yes, absolutely, even when one or both partners are strong willed, independent, and opinionated. (She admits to being all three.) In this groundbreaking book, the best-selling author and award-winning marriage blogger asks listeners to invest 28 days in learning how to live together without bickering, blame, angry outbursts, or silent treatments.
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very hard to relate to
- By Abby on 02-01-23
By: Fawn Weaver
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And When She Was Good
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Heloise considers it a blessing to be a person who seldom attracts attention. In her suburb, she's just a mom, the young widow with the forgettable job, who somehow never misses a soccer game. In the state capital, she's the redheaded lobbyist with a good cause and a mediocre track record. But in discreet hotel rooms throughout the area, she's the woman of your dreams - if you can afford the hourly fee. For more than a decade, Heloise believed she was safe, managing to keep up this rigidly compartmentalized life. But her secret life is under siege. One county over, another so-called suburban madam has been found dead in her car, an apparent suicide.
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And When She Was Bad...
- By Carole T. on 08-18-12
By: Laura Lippman
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Stop Saying You're Fine
- Discover a More Powerful You
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Right now, over 100 million Americans secretly feel frustrated and bored with their lives. If you've come to regard yourself as your own worst enemy; if you constantly daydream and wonder, "Is this all there is?"; if you have a tendency, when asked how you're doing, to just say "Fine," you may be one of them. If this sounds familiar, there's clearly something missing from your life. This book will help you discover what it is, and how to win it back.
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STOP and buy The Five Second Rule instead.
- By Ryan Healey on 07-19-17
By: Mel Robbins
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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The Behavior Gap
- Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things with Money
- By: Carl Richards
- Narrated by: Carl Richards
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Why do we lose money? It's easy to blame the economy or the financial markets - but the real trouble lies in the decisions we make. As a financial planner, Carl Richards grew frustrated watching people he cared about make the same mistakes over and over. They were letting emotion get in the way of smart financial decisions. He named this phenomenon - the distance between what we should do and what we actually do - "the behavior gap". He found that once people understood it, they started doing much better.
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Average across the board
- By michael on 01-23-18
By: Carl Richards
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Leap
- Leaving a Job with No Plan B to Find the Career and Life You Really Want
- By: Tess Vigeland
- Narrated by: Tess Vigeland
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Until recently Tess Vigeland was a longtime host of public radio's Marketplace. It was a rewarding, high-status job, and Tess was very good at it - but she'd begun to feel restless. Without any definite, clear sense of what she wanted to do next (but an absolute certainty that what she'd been doing was no longer truly satisfying), she walked away from her dream job and into a vast unknown. Suddenly she was no longer " Marketplace's Tess Vigeland"; she was just Tess Vigeland.
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Everything Mrs Vigeland says is true, but ...
- By Claude on 10-10-15
By: Tess Vigeland
What listeners say about Spousonomics
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jaya
- 04-17-12
Excellend Book . Highly Recommended
definitely learnt a bit of economics and human relationships. would recommend to anyone who wants to take an objective stock of a relationship
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- Maria José Celis
- 12-14-22
Buen libro
Hay bastantes buenos consejos en el libro, pero siento que iba un poco lento. Lo solucioné poniendo vel 1.5x
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- Elizabeth
- 12-08-17
Fully Recommend This Book
Witty, relatable, and extremely helpful. This WILL help your Marriage.
My husband and I both listened to the book, and started to make changes immediately to our approach to household chores, communication and how we supported one another.
Wonderful glimpse into the psychological reactions we have without thought and how to achieve the best outcomes for both people.
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- Joshua Kim
- 06-10-12
4 'Spousonomics' Surprises and 1 Critique
Surprise 1 - Great Read:Spousonomics was a marginal book choice for me. It sat on my Audible Wish List for a while, and I was only lukewarm about buying it. To my surprise, Spousonomics is smart, funny, and informative. I'm always a little weary of journalists popularizing academic disciplines (too much fawning, too little critiques), but Szuchman and Anderson are fluent writers and accomplished students of the dismal science.
Surprise 2 - Economics Learning: The behavioral and micro economic principals discussed in Spousonomics will familiar to most of you, but thinking about economic concepts in the context of marriage is a great way to engage in some active learning. We think about our relationships all the time, and thinking about our relationships from the perspective of sunk costs, loss aversion, marginal costs, and supply and demand makes both the economic principles, and the relationships, seems more interesting.
Surprise 3 - Under-Buzzed: Nobody told me to read Spousonomics. (I'm telling everyone I meet, including strangers, my parents, my spouse, and even unmarried teenagers - go figure). Have you hear any buzz about this book? Maybe we have a collective Freakonomics fatigue? Maybe I'm just not spending enough time with the right people.
Surprise 4 - Universal Marriages: All of us in long-term relationships seem to be exactly the same. We seem to all have the same issues (sex, money, work, real estate, in-laws, etc. etc.) Very validating.
Critique 1: Spousonomics is the economic marriage book for the "The Bobos in Paradise" crowd. Knowledge worker marriages. Don't expect much diversity beyond the world of journalists, lawyers, professors, web designers, advertising people etc. in the profiles. Would have been fine if the authors owned up to the shortcomings of the qualitative methodology utilized in the research that went into the book.
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2 people found this helpful
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- aklaura
- 10-12-15
Entertaining, informative, thought provoking
Great way of connecting economic thought with domestic bliss. This is a book to keep in my library for future reference
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- KEVIN PRUITT
- 04-03-21
Spectacular!
Great read, and a fresh take on relationship assistance with a finance twist for us nerds.
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- Emily Meyers
- 08-17-21
Disappointing
Was really looking forward to reading this book but found it disappointing. It was really outdated. The worst part was it’s old fashioned, unhealthy ideas related to women. In one case study they say marriage makes an honest woman” out of one of their subjects. No joke. Then they recommend women use sex to bribe their husbands to not be abusive which it seems like men should do without having to be bribed. Then they advise women to always agree to have sex with their husbands even when they find the idea off putting which seems terrible for a woman’s sense of self efficacy, authenticity, integrity. They are basically dressing up backwards, sexist norms with a thin veil of economics. I happen to have an MBA and can tell you the economic insight offered is superficial at best. I regret spending money on this and believe you will too unless you are looking for a remedial understanding of business terminology or wanting to advocate for women’s oppression. 🤮
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- Niall
- 06-18-12
So...You know how you hate spending time together?
What would have made Spousonomics better?
This book is based on the assumption that men hate listening to their wives and that women hate having (or giving) sex to their husbands- this is a long collection of trades such as (I am not making this up) I, as the man, will listen to you talk for X amount of time but in exchange I want X amount of sex. This extends to things like chores, money and the car. This is not a loving relationship- this is a business relationship. I was disgusted that couples actually see things like affectionate communication, cuddling and sex as chores to be endured and recorded for compensation. There are other lessons in the book but after 3 hours that was the basic formula- I will give you this and you will give me that- and let's not complicate this exchange with love, this is business
Any additional comments?
If you really think that you need to give your man sex so that he will listen to you about your day at work than save your money and get a book on divorce because that is just sick
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4 people found this helpful