Smacked
A Story of White-Collar Ambition, Addiction, and Tragedy
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Narrated by:
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Eilene Zimmerman
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By:
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Eilene Zimmerman
About this listen
A journalist pieces together the mysteries surrounding her ex-husband’s descent into drug addiction while trying to rebuild a life for her family, taking listeners on an intimate journey into the world of white-collar drug abuse.
"A rare combination of journalistic rigor, personal courage, and writerly grace." (Bill Clegg, author of Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man)
Something was wrong with Peter. Eilene Zimmerman noticed that her ex-husband looked thin, seemed distracted, and was frequently absent from activities with their children. She thought he looked sick and needed to see a doctor, and indeed, he told her he had been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. Yet in many ways, Peter seemed to have it all: a beautiful house by the beach, expensive cars, and other luxuries that came with an affluent life. Eilene assumed his odd behavior was due to stress and overwork - he was a senior partner at a prominent law firm and had been working more than 60 hours a week for the last 20 years.
Although they were divorced, Eilene and Peter had been partners and friends for decades, so when she and her children were unable to reach Peter for several days, Eilene went to his house to see if he was okay.
So begins Smacked, a brilliant and moving memoir of Eilene’s shocking discovery, one that sets her on a journey to find out how a man she knew for nearly 30 years became a drug addict, hiding it so well that neither she nor anyone else in his life suspected what was happening. Eilene discovers that Peter led a secret life, one that started with pills and ended with opioids, cocaine, and methamphetamine. He was also addicted to work; the last call Peter ever made was to dial in to a conference call.
Eilene is determined to learn all she can about Peter’s hidden life, and also about drug addiction among ambitious, high-achieving professionals like him. Through extensive research and interviews, she presents a picture of drug dependence today in that moneyed, upwardly mobile world. She also embarks on a journey to re-create her life in the wake of loss, both of the person - and the relationship - that profoundly defined the woman she had become.
©2020 Eilene Zimmerman (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Poignant.... An engrossing narrative laden with elements of pathos and mystery.” (The Boston Globe)
“Journalist Eilene Zimmerman’s up-close-and-personal look at the cost of addiction is among the timeliest and most relevant books of the new year. Smacked is an unvarnished and wrenching exploration of opioid abuse in a wealthy, white-collar world that resonates across classes and cultures.” (Newsweek)
"A searing and extraordinary memoir, Smacked peers into the life of the white collar addict, showing us how the enslavement to not just drugs, but wealth and success, in this country can ruin marriages and families. Zimmerman achieves not just gorgeous prose and a suspenseful and engrossing story, but also more compassion and insight than I have encountered for this subject. Smacked is unputdownable and addictive, in the best way possible." (Claire Bidwell Smith, author of The Rules of Inheritance)
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- Narrated by: Nicky Sunshine
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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An activist calls for better support of young families so they can thrive and reflects on her experiences as a Black mother and college student fighting for opportunities for herself and her child. Pregnant Girl presents the possibility of a different future for young mothers - one of success and stability - in the midst of the dismal statistics that dominate the national conversation.
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Political
- By Amazon Customer on 01-16-23
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Falling Apart in One Piece
- One Optimist's Journey Through the Hell of Divorce
- By: Stacy Morrison
- Narrated by: Stacy Morrison
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Just when Stacy Morrison thought she had it all, her husband of 10 years announced that he wanted a divorce. She was left alone with a new house that needed lots of work, a new baby who needed lots of attention, and a new job in the high-pressure world of New York publishing. Morrison had never been one to believe in fairy tales. As far as she was concerned, happy endings were the product of the kind of ambition and hard work that had propelled her to the top of her profession.
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so helpful
- By jessica ball on 11-10-15
By: Stacy Morrison
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The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head
- A Psychiatrist's Stories of His Most Bizarre Cases
- By: Gary Small M.D., Gigi Vorgan
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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True stories are more bizarre than any fiction, and Dr. Gary Small knows this best. After 30 distinguished years of psychiatry and groundbreaking research on the human brain, Dr. Small has seen it all - now he is ready to open his office doors for the first time and tell all about the most mysterious, intriguing, and bizarre patients of his career. The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head is a spellbinding record of the doctor's most bewildering cases.
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90% Useless Information
- By Think B4 Eating on 10-01-10
By: Gary Small M.D., and others
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Lone Stars
- By: Justin Deabler
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Lone Stars follows the arc of four generations of a Texan family in a changing America. Julian Warner, a father at last, wrestles with a question his husband posed: what will you tell our son about the people you came from, now that they're gone? Finding the answers takes Julian back in time to Eisenhower's immigration border raids, an epistolary love affair during the Vietnam War, crumbling marriages, queer migrations to Cambridge and New York, up to the disorienting polarization of Obama's second term.
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Read for bookclub but fell in Love
- By Ericka Lawson on 09-11-22
By: Justin Deabler
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Missing Parts
- By: Lucinda Berry
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up abandoned by her father and raised by a single mother, Celeste was determined to create the perfect family - but even perfect families have secrets. Her days are filled with a rewarding career, a devoted husband, and her four-year-old daughter. Celeste is the only one who knows the precarious house of cards her family is built upon - until the day her daughter falls critically ill. Then her world quickly spirals out of control, her secret threatening to destroy her marriage, family, reputation, and sanity.
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SPOILER ALERT. Sigh...
- By Kelly on 10-08-20
By: Lucinda Berry
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Mother Daughter Me
- A Memoir
- By: Katie Hafner
- Narrated by: Katie Hafner
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The complex, deeply binding relationship between mothers and daughters is brought vividly to life in Katie Hafner's remarkable memoir, an exploration of the year she and her mother, Helen, spent working through, and triumphing over, a lifetime of unresolved emotions. Dreaming of a "year in Provence" with her mother, Katie urges Helen to move to San Francisco to live with her and Zoe, Katie's teenage daughter. Katie and Zoe had become a mother-daughter team, strong enough, Katie thought, to absorb the arrival of a 77-year-old woman set in her ways....
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Listen and be swept away!
- By Barbara Quick on 06-02-22
By: Katie Hafner
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No Hiding in Boise
- By: Kim Hooper
- Narrated by: Devon Sorvari, Stephanie Willing, Hillary Huber, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Angie is awakened by a midnight call from an officer with the Boise Police Department and thinks there must be a misunderstanding. The officer tells her that her husband was involved in a shooting at a local bar, but how can that be when her husband is sleeping right next to her? But when she turns to wake him, he isn’t there. Tessa is the 23-year-old bartender who escapes to a backroom storage closet during the shooting. When it comes to light that five people were killed, she is burdened with the question of why she survived.
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fantastic audio involving contemporary issues
- By Barbara S on 07-07-21
By: Kim Hooper
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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David’s story is invaluable
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true story
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After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
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When a car crash sidelines Mickey just before softball season, she has to find a way to hold on to her spot as the catcher for a team expected to make a historic tournament run. Behind the plate is the only place she’s ever felt comfortable, and the painkillers she’s been prescribed can help her get there. The pills do more than take away pain; they make her feel good. But as the pressure to be Mickey Catalan heightens, her need increases, and it becomes less about pain and more about want, something that could send her spiraling out of control.
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Intense and Unapologetic
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American Drug Addict
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My name is Brett. I'm a college-educated man who was once a husband of 26 years with two children, three businesses, and a large home with an actual white picket fence. I'm also a drug addict. And I have a tale to tell. It's about the despair of addiction and the absolute certainty that it can be overcome. Recovery is not simply abstinence, but a process of growing up. I spent my entire life searching for the key to long-term sobriety. I would like to share with you what I have learned.
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UGHHHH. NOOOO.
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In the tradition of Orange Is the New Black and Jerry Stahl's Permanent Midnight, Amy Dresner's My Fair Junkie is an insightful, darkly funny, and shamelessly honest memoir of one woman's battle with all forms of addiction, hitting rock bottom, and forging a path to a life worth living.
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if you don't read this I'll brandish a bread knife
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An uncommon accounting of a life destroyed and reconstructed, and a provocative alternative understanding of the nature of addiction and the meaning of recovery, A Million Little Pieces marks the debut of a bold and talented literary voice.
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That's What Junkies Do is a brutally honest, often dark journey of one man's struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. The story starts innocently enough in 1980's Brooklyn, NY, with a young boy, Thomas Figlioli, making a bad choice so he could gain the respect of a group of kids he looked up to and admired. Alcohol gives him the courage to be the person he always wanted to be. His fear and insecurity leaves and his lifelong struggle begins. When thoughts of ending it all become a better choice than living how he is, Thomas finally asks for help.
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The honesty and story gripped me right from the beginning and never let go.
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Dry
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At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. When Augusten is forced to examine himself, he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life - and live it sober. Dry is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power
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Sobriety with a sense of style....
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High Achiever
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With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
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One Hit Away: A Memoir of Recovery
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At the age of 24, Jordan Barnes woke up next to a lifeless body, rifled through his dead friends’ pockets for any remaining heroin, and went right back to using. Strung out and homeless during the supposed best years of his life, there was no clear way out of the opioid crisis ravaging the streets of Portland, Oregon. But though Jordan had long accepted his fate, his parents still held out hope and would do everything in their power to get him the help he so desperately needed.
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thank you
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In My Skin
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A shy, bookish college graduate from a solid middle-class home, Kate Holden was uncertain of her way in life. When she decided to try her first hit of heroin, she did not anticipate that the drug would take over. Desperation drove her first to offer her body on the streets and then in high-class brothels, where she discovered hidden strengths as well as parts of herself that frightened her. With the acceptance and unyielding love of a family that never abandoned her, Kate Holden ultimately defeated the drug and left her netherworld behind.
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NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING...
- By Margaret on 10-02-13
By: Kate Holden
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Tweakerworld
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After Jason’s world falls apart in LA, he moves to Berkeley for a fresh start with his kid brother. Just one problem: his long-closeted Adderall addiction has exploded into an out-of-control crystal meth binge. Within weeks, Jason plunges into the sprawling ParTy n’ ’Play subculture of the Bay Area’s gay community. It is a wildly decadent scene of drugs, group sex, and criminals, and yet it is also filled with surprising characters, people who are continually subverting Jason’s own presumptions of the stereotypical tweaker.
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Exhausting
- By Thom Pierson on 03-09-23
By: Jason Yamas
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The Less People Know About Us
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In this powerful true crime memoir, an award-winning identity theft expert tells the shocking story of the duplicity and betrayal that inspired her career and nearly destroyed her family. Axton Betz-Hamilton grew up in small-town Indiana in the early '90s. When she was 11 years old, her parents both had their identities stolen. Their credit ratings were ruined, and they were constantly fighting over money. This was before the age of the Internet, when identity theft became more commonplace, so authorities and banks were clueless and reluctant to help Axton's parents.
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Holy Shit
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What listeners say about Smacked
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jared
- 02-07-20
Touching
worth the listen if you'd trying to understand why the least expected would turn to illegal use of drugs
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3 people found this helpful
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- Robin Cunningham
- 12-28-20
Great book.
loved this book. very honest. full of emotion and lots of helpful information. I couldn't stop listening
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- Shay A Barfield
- 06-04-20
review
A heartbreaking and intimate look into a woman's life over the years as her husband, later ex-husband, succumbs to substance abuse.
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- Brittany Rode
- 05-23-20
Eye opening!
This was such a fascinating story excellently seeded with background information. By the end of it i had several more books and people to look up for further information. Not dry at all with all that information I got through this in two days!
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- Lynda Richards
- 03-02-20
Smacked
Ellene is a very good author. Loved this story & it was so different, not your usual.
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Overall
- Tyler Kavicky
- 06-18-20
Compassionate portrayal of addiction in a family
Eilene provides a very honest and thoughtful portrayal of the insidious nature of addiction and what it is like to watch a loved one succumb to this disease. She addresses some of the stereotypes about addiction, like the one that addiction is more common among poor and uneducated people. She also provides some scientific and academic research to support her arguments, nothing too complicated though. If you want to know more about addiction or you know someone that might be suffering, this book can provide some insight without being too preachy or judgmental, while still being entertaining and maintaining a sense compassionate. Good read (or listen).
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- Annieming
- 07-26-21
Loved this book from beginning to end
I appreciated the author’s honesty & style of writing. It was quite relatable. Her narration style is wonderful - so easy to listen to. Her descriptions of emotional situations tugged at my heart as I could totally feel what she described. I didn’t want this book to end so quickly. Looking for another from her as we speak!
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- GwP
- 10-31-20
Excellent information but...
Zimmerman can call this a memoir though the narrative itself lurches between one of a memoirist and a research clinician. As another person who has lost a husband to drug addiction, I found Zimmerman’s emotional remove from her husband off-putting, not just as a reader but as a human being. Aside from my personal opinion there is a great deal of helpful research here mostly of use to the uninitiated.
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- Debbie
- 09-27-22
Honest
Excellent authorship. She was honest with herself and with her audience. Her research spoke volumes. This must have been a very healing book for the author to write. I appreciate her educating us on the reality of drugs in the corporate world.
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- Bernie X
- 02-11-20
Interesting yet perhaps misleading conclusion
Expresses the causation of highly skilled careers and drug addiction; however and early into the book, there is a least one passage of Peter's recreational use of hard drugs while a grad school student. Could he have been a user most of his adult life and practicing law just exacerbated things?
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1 person found this helpful