Secret Santa
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Narrated by:
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Andi Arndt
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By:
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Andrew Shaffer
About this listen
The Office meets Stephen King, dressed up in holiday tinsel, in this fun, festive, and frightening horror-comedy set during the horror publishing boom of the ’80s, by New York Times best-selling satirist Andrew Shaffer.
Out of work for months, Lussi Meyer is desperate to work anywhere in publishing. Prestigious Blackwood-Patterson isn’t the perfect fit, but a bizarre set of circumstances leads to her hire and a firm mandate: Lussi must find the next horror superstar to compete with Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Peter Straub. It’s the ’80s, after all, and horror is the hottest genre.
But as soon as she arrives, Lussi finds herself the target of her coworkers’ mean-spirited pranks. The hazing reaches its peak during the company’s annual Secret Santa gift exchange, when Lussi receives a demonic-looking object that she recognizes but doesn’t understand. Suddenly, her coworkers begin falling victim to a series of horrific accidents akin to a George Romero movie, and Lussi suspects that her gift is involved. With the help of her former author, the flamboyant Fabien Nightingale, Lussi must track down her anonymous Secret Santa and figure out the true meaning of the cursed object in her possession before it destroys the company - and her soul.
©2020 Andrew Shaffer (P)2020 Blackstone PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
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Claire "Mac" Woods—a professor enjoying her newfound hotshot status at an academic conference—finally has the acceptance and admiration she has long craved. But at the conference's hotel bar, Mac is surprised to run into a face from a past she'd rather forget: the moneyed, effortlessly perfect Gwendolyn Whitney, Mac's foil, rival, and former best friend.
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Outstanding!
- By SLuzaz on 02-15-21
By: Amy Gentry
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If Walls Could Talk
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- By: Juliet Blackwell
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
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Melanie Turner has made quite a name for herself remodeling historic houses in the San Francisco Bay Area. But now her reputation may be on the line. At her newest project, a run-down Pacific Heights mansion, Mel is visited by the ghost of a colleague who recently met a bad end with power tools. Mel hopes that by nailing the killer, she can rid herself of the ghostly presence of the murdered man - and not end up a construction casualty herself....
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A Nice Change
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By: Juliet Blackwell
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Hellboy: An Assortment of Horrors
- By: Various
- Narrated by: Seth Podowitz
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
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Fifteen of the biggest names in weird literature come together to pay tribute to Hellboy and the characters of Mike Mignola’s award-winning line of books! Assembled by Joe Golem and Baltimore co-writer Christopher Golden, this anthology boasts 15 original stories by the best in horror, fantasy, and science fiction, including Seanan McGuire (October Daye series), Chelsea Cain (Heartsick), Jonathan Maberry (Joe Ledger series), and more! The new writer of Hellboy and the BPRD, iZombie co-creator Chris Roberson, pitches in as well!
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An assortment of good times.
- By Chris E. on 02-28-20
By: Various
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The Ghost and Mrs. McClure
- The Haunted Bookshop Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Cleo Coyle
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Young widow Penelope Thornton-McClure and her old Aunt Sadie are making ends meet by managing a mystery book shop - a quaint Rhode Island landmark rumored to be haunted. Pen may not believe in ghosts, but she does believe in good publicity - like nabbing Timothy Brennan for a book signing. But soon after the bestselling thriller writer reveals a secret about the store's link to a 1940s murder, he keels over dead - and right in the middle of the store's new community events space. Who gives Mrs. McClure the first clue that it was murder?
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Creative take of a ghost detective
- By Victoria J. Mejia-Gewe on 12-05-18
By: Cleo Coyle
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The Lions of Fifth Avenue
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- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
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It's 1913, and on the surface, Laura Lyons couldn't ask for more out of life - her husband is the superintendent of the New York Public Library, allowing their family to live in an apartment within the grand building, and they are blessed with two children. But headstrong, passionate Laura wants more, and when she takes a leap of faith and applies to the Columbia Journalism School, her world is cracked wide open.
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Exhilarating
- By Joanna Butler on 08-20-20
By: Fiona Davis
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Titanshade
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- By: Dan Stout
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Carter's a homicide cop in Titanshade, an oil boomtown where 8-tracks are state of the art, disco rules the radio, and all the best sorcerers wear designer labels. It's also a metropolis teetering on the edge of disaster. As its oil reserves run dry, the city's future hangs on a possible investment from the reclusive amphibians known as Squibs. But now negotiations have been derailed by the horrific murder of a Squib diplomat. The pressure's never been higher to make a quick arrest, even as Carter's investigation leads him into conflict with the city's elite.
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Brilliant and intense, this fantasy crime thriller
- By kimbacaffeinate on 02-04-21
By: Dan Stout
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Superhero Syndrome
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- By: Caryn Larrinaga
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Story
Tess McBray was dying. The solstice syndrome had no cure, and she resigned herself to an early grave. But just when she gave up on survival, all her symptoms mysteriously disappeared. All but one symptom, anyway. Something is wrong with Tess’ hands. They absorb any material they touch, and her skin turns to wood, steel, or concrete. It doesn’t take this comic book obsessed 21-year-old long to figure out what’s going on: somehow, she’s developed super powers. And she’s not the only one; across the country, people are coming forward and sharing their gifts with the world.
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"Origin" story with great characters and narration
- By Kara on 08-17-19
By: Caryn Larrinaga
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The Nightmare Man
- By: J. H. Markert
- Narrated by: David Bendena
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
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Blackwood mansion looms, surrounded by nightmare pines, atop the hill over the small town of New Haven. Ben Bookman, bestselling novelist and heir to the Blackwood estate, spent a weekend at the ancestral home to finish writing his latest horror novel, The Scarecrow. Now, on the eve of the book’s release, the terrible story within begins to unfold in real life.
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The Nightmare Man
- By Kate Miffitt on 03-19-23
By: J. H. Markert
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Radicals
- By: Nik Korpon
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Isabel Keating
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Original Recording
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Performance
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Story
Jay Brodsky is an enigma. To his fellow agents at the FBI’s cybercrimes division. To his new partner. Even to himself. For someone whose skills are beyond question, he often seems just on the edge of losing control. He seldom speaks about his family and his personal life, but he seems to be hiding something. And he has an unusual obsession with even the most obscure punk rock. So when a mysterious cyber-terrorist organization begins erasing Americans’ medical debt, Jay must put his personal issues aside to focus on an attack that threatens to destabilize the US economy.
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Punk rock, anarchy, hacking and an FBI investigat
- By col2910 on 11-24-20
By: Nik Korpon
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The Last Place You Look
- By: Kristen Lepionka
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
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Nobody knows what happened to Sarah Cook. The beautiful blonde teenager disappeared 15 years ago, the same night her parents were brutally murdered in their suburban Ohio home. Her boyfriend, Brad Stockton - black and from the wrong side of the tracks - was convicted of the murders and is now on death row. Though he's maintained his innocence all along, the clock is running out. His execution is only weeks away when his devoted sister insists she spied Sarah at an area gas station.
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Alcoholic PI
- By Karwyn on 05-17-18
By: Kristen Lepionka
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The blizzard begins pummeling the Midwest on Christmas Eve, leaving hundreds of passengers stranded at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. Todd Curry doesn't need another reason to disappoint his son, so he joins three other people in renting the last four-wheel drive available and they set out into the blinding snow. Only two hours into the treacherous trip west, Todd swerves to avoid a man in the middle of the highway. The stranger claims his daughter is lost somewhere out in the snow.
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The Christmas story i didn’t know i needed
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In this remarkable collection the author has selected over two dozen of her best Lovecraftian tales ranging from 2000s “Valentia” to her more recent classic “A Mountain Walked” as well as including the complete Dandridge Cycle, as well as a new story, “M Is for Mars.” In short, this is a cornerstone volume for Kiernan fans and Mythos devotees alike.
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incomplete release
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The Christmas season has arrived in Lower Lockwood, and the Fairway Players are busy rehearsing their festive holiday production of Jack and the Beanstalk to raise money for a new church roof. But despite the season, goodwill is distinctly lacking among the amateur theater enthusiasts with petty rivalries, a possibly asbestos-filled beanstalk, and some perennially absent players behind the scenes. Of course, there’s also the matter of the dead body onstage. Who could possibly have had the victim on their naughty list?
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Joe Biden is fresh out of the Obama White House and feeling adrift when his favorite railroad conductor dies in a suspicious accident. To unravel the mystery, "Amtrak Joe" re-teams with the only man he's ever fully trusted - Obama. Together they'll plumb the darkest corners of Delaware, traveling from cheap motels to biker bars and beyond, as they uncover the sinister forces advancing America's opioid epidemic. Hope Never Dies is essentially the first published work of Obama/Biden fan fiction - and a cathartic listen for anyone distressed by the current state of affairs.
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It was a quiet night, like any other, when Abi went for her usual night-time run. It was her escape from all the stresses of life, the thing she did so she was stronger than the man who’d once hurt her so badly. But then – as she turns a quiet corner – she sees a car hitting somebody. Rushing forward, as the driver screeches off into the night, she realizes the man in the road has already died. After rushing to call for help, Abi returns to find a policeman already waiting. But there’s no body. No one is there.
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You Better Watch Out
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Forty-eight hours until Christmas, Jessica Kane wakes up with blurred vision, ears ringing, and in excruciating pain. A gash in her head and blood running down her face, the last thing she remembers is going for a run and something or someone hitting her in the head. It doesn't take her long to realize she is trapped in an unknown, deserted town with five other strangers who share similar stories of being attacked and stranded there. Unsure why and how they got there, she knows one thing for certain, she has to find a way out.
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Great plot twist.
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DI Tom Stonem’s peaceful holiday is cut short when a body is discovered nearby, in the shadow of the Angel of the North. The dead man is bound, his arms outstretched in the sculpture’s iconic pose. In the man’s pocket is what appears to be a little girl’s Christmas list, with the first item – 1. Angel delight – crossed off. When a second body is found – a woman, stabbed in the abdomen after her work Christmas do – Stonem can’t help but notice a grim connection between the crime scenes and the items on the seemingly innocent list. 2. Red party dress. Could this be a murderer’s twisted code?
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Two Little Girls in Blue
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Hours after throwing a third birthday party for their twins Kathy and Kelly in their Connecticut home, Margaret and Steve Frawley return home from a dinner in New York to discover the police in the house, their daughters missing, and an eight million dollar ransom note. The Frawleys meet the kidnapper's demands, but the abandoned car they're led to contains only Kelly, the body of the driver, and a suicide note, saying he had inadvertently killed Kathy and dumped her body in the ocean.
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What listeners say about Secret Santa
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jimmy
- 11-14-20
Ok book
The first of the books was great then it kinda dribbled out towards the end of the book. Not a bad book thou.
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- Jay Lee Newman
- 12-21-20
Funny and keeps you guessing
I loved the narration. the story was funny. It took several unexpected turns. I especially liked the ending
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- Anonymous User
- 12-10-23
Just OK
This book was just ok. There were parts that I thought were really good but then in other parts I wasn’t very interested. Some interesting twists. I bought this on the site wide sale so I didn’t pay a lot so I feel like it was worth what I paid but I probably wouldn’t recommend buying it at full price or using a credit on it.
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- Sabrina N. Frang
- 03-02-21
A fast and fun horror story
I honestly did not know what to expect from Secret Santa. I simply chose it because I wanted a short, holiday-themed horror novel. Secret Santa filled that niche craving. It is fun, even humorous at times, and over before you know it. This is a book that could have used a little more development involving the villains of the novel: I have some unanswered questions. Ultimately though, I think the lore of the novel was left a little vague on purpose. You know enough to understand what is going on. While this was not a five-star book for me, I still enjoyed it for what it was. I will definitely be checking out more from this author.
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- Kyle C
- 04-22-23
I adored this story!
I can’t recommend this enough. Comedy horror is my jam and this was so so good. loved Lucy!! I loved all the characters and the writing style and the prologue, and the middle, and the epilogue and the…
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- Lyselis Jimenez
- 06-11-24
It was ok but not great
At the beginning of the story it was pretty engaging and entertaining especially since it takes place on the Christmas season, but on half of the book it starts to become a drag and kinda of repetitive.
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- denise
- 12-02-20
it was ok
loved it it was a very good book it was a good horror book especially 1arond this time a year
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- Jenny
- 01-18-24
Good idea, okay execution
The story starts with promise and then very slowly works its way to a rushed ending. There is some mystery, folk horror, and dark humor. Overall, the writing is okay - not bad but also not great. If you don’t mind a slow story with an interesting folk horror concept, then go for it.
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- Latasha Davis
- 11-28-24
I’m confused
Not what I expected, I didn’t understand this book. So, I don’t think I will be returned to this author.
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- ReggieRocket
- 12-23-20
A cute story.
I didn't find this very funny, maybe because I'm not in publishing, nor was it very scary. May be more scary to a YA reader.
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1 person found this helpful