Recollections of My Nonexistence
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Rebecca Solnit
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By:
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Rebecca Solnit
About this listen
Shortlisted for the James Tait Black Prize for Biography
Longlisted for the Orwell Prize for Political Writing
An electric portrait of the artist as a young woman that asks how a writer finds her voice in a society that prefers women to be silent, from the author of Orwell's Roses.
In Recollections of My Nonexistence, Rebecca Solnit describes her formation as a writer and as a feminist in 1980s San Francisco, in an atmosphere of gender violence on the street and throughout society and the exclusion of women from cultural arenas. She tells of being poor, hopeful, and adrift in the city that became her great teacher, and of the small apartment that, when she was 19, became the home in which she transformed herself. She explores the forces that liberated her as a person and as a writer—books themselves; the gay community that presented a new model of what else gender, family, and joy could mean; and her eventual arrival in the spacious landscapes and overlooked conflicts of the American West.
Beyond being a memoir, Solnit's book is also a passionate argument: that women are not just impacted by personal experience, but by membership in a society where violence against women pervades. Looking back, she describes how she came to recognize that her own experiences of harassment and menace were inseparable from the systemic problem of who has a voice, or rather who is heard and respected and who is silenced—and how she was galvanized to use her own voice for change.
©2020 Rebecca Solnit (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Much more than a feminist manifesto . . . Solnit movingly describes her efforts to fashion ‘the self who will speak’ . . . There are phrases, such as ‘women’s stories,’ ‘silencing,’ or ‘gaslighting,’ that contemporary discourse has emptied out. Solnit revives these terms with the breath of their own histories.”—Katy Waldman, The New Yorker
"At the same time that [Solnit] describes her forays into her past, she invites us to connect pieces of her story to our own, as a measure of how far we've come and how far we have left to go."—Jenny Odell, The New York Times Book Review
“Throughout her rich body of work, essayist and critic Rebecca Solnit has revealed pieces of herself in writings about the beauty of getting lost, the joys of walking both for pleasure and with purpose, and perhaps most famously, the indignity of being mansplained to. At last, she uses her eagle eye to explore her own life. Recollections of My Nonexistence is a marvel: a memoir that details her awakening as a feminist, an environmentalist, and a citizen of the world. Every single sentence is exquisite.”—Maris Kreizman, Vulture
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Lorraine Hansberry, who died at thirty-four, was by all accounts a force of nature. Although best-known for her work A Raisin in the Sun, her short life was full of extraordinary experiences and achievements, and she had an unflinching commitment to social justice, which brought her under FBI surveillance when she was barely in her twenties. While her close friends and contemporaries, like James Baldwin and Nina Simone, have been rightly celebrated, her story has been diminished and relegated to one work—until now.
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Radiant
- By Rose Brookins on 03-20-19
By: Imani Perry
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The Republic of Imagination
- America in Three Books
- By: Azar Nafisi
- Narrated by: Mozhan Marnò
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Blending memoir and polemic with close readings of her favorite novels, she describes the unexpected journey that led her to become an American citizen after first dreaming of America as a young girl in Tehran and coming to know the country through its fiction. She urges us to rediscover the America of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and challenges us to be truer to the words and spirit of the Founding Fathers, who understood that their democratic experiment would never thrive or survive unless they could foster a democratic imagination.
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Love
- By Rebecca on 05-29-16
By: Azar Nafisi
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Art Is Life
- Icons and Iconoclasts, Visionaries and Vigilantes, and Flashes of Hope in the Night
- By: Jerry Saltz
- Narrated by: Jerry Saltz, Mark Bramhall
- Length: 16 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Jerry Saltz is one of our most-watched writers about art and artists and a passionate champion of the importance of art in our shared cultural life. Since the 1990s he has been an indispensable cultural voice: Witty and provocative, he has attracted contemporary listeners to fine art as few critics have.
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WRONG for audio program
- By Karen Lehrer on 11-07-22
By: Jerry Saltz
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1000 Years of Joys and Sorrows
- A Memoir
- By: Ai Weiwei, Allan H. Barr - translator
- Narrated by: David Shih
- Length: 13 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Once a close associate of Mao Zedong and the nation’s most celebrated poet, Ai Weiwei’s father, Ai Qing, was branded a rightist during the Cultural Revolution, and he and his family were banished to a desolate place known as “Little Siberia,” where Ai Qing was sentenced to hard labor cleaning public toilets. Ai Weiwei recounts his childhood in exile, and his difficult decision to leave his family to study art in America, where he befriended Allen Ginsberg and was inspired by Andy Warhol and the artworks of Marcel Duchamp.
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This book changed my life
- By Johnny Nopolis on 08-16-22
By: Ai Weiwei, and others
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The Fire This Time
- A New Generation Speaks About Race
- By: Jesmyn Ward
- Narrated by: Cherise Boothe, Michael Early, Kevin R. Free, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
National Book Award winner Jesmyn Ward takes James Baldwin's 1963 examination of race in America, The Fire Next Time, as a jumping-off point for this groundbreaking collection of essays and poems about race from the most important voices of her generation and our time.
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Delusion shattering
- By Matthew A. Burnett on 06-12-20
By: Jesmyn Ward
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Afropean
- Notes from Black Europe
- By: Johny Pitts
- Narrated by: Johny Pitts
- Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the face of growing racial discrimination, anti-immigrant sentiment and the spectre of terrorism looming large over an economically stricken continent, Afropean is an on-the-ground documentary of areas where Europeans of African descent are juggling their multiple allegiances and forging new identities: too indelibly woven into Europe to identify with Africa and yet struggling with outdated ideas of what it means to be European.
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Excellent
- By Suzie M on 04-04-24
By: Johny Pitts
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Men Explain Things to Me
- By: Rebecca Solnit
- Narrated by: Luci Christian Bell
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Men Explain Things to Me, Rebecca Solnit takes on the conversations between men who wrongly assume they know things and wrongly assume women don't. The ultimate problem, she shows in her comic, scathing essay, is female self-doubt and the silencing of women. Rebecca Solnit is the author of fourteen books about civil society, popular power, uprisings, art, environment, place, pleasure, politics, hope, and memory, most recently The Faraway Nearby, a book on empathy and storytelling.
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Great read - horrible performance
- By Denise Johnson on 03-26-15
By: Rebecca Solnit
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Letters to a Young Artist
- By: Anna Deavere Smith
- Narrated by: Anna Deavere Smith
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
From "the most exciting individual in American theater" ( Newsweek), here is Anna Deavere Smith's brass-tacks advice to aspiring artists of all stripes. In the manner of Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet, Deavere Smith mentors her young artist over a period of five years, sharing her hard-won wisdom about the challenges and rewards of the artistic life.
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Great advice for artists of any age.
- By S. Barker on 10-30-17
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Square Haunting
- Five Writers in London Between the Wars
- By: Francesca Wade
- Narrated by: Corrie James
- Length: 13 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Mecklenburgh Square has always been a radical address. Nestled in the heart of Bloomsbury, these townhouses have borne witness to the lives of some of the century's most revolutionary cultural figures - many of whom were extraordinary women. United by their desire to experiment with new ways of living - and, therefore, of being - these authors and thinkers were trailblazers in their commitment to creative independence.
By: Francesca Wade
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Manifesto
- On Never Giving Up
- By: Bernardine Evaristo
- Narrated by: Bernardine Evaristo
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the best-selling and Booker Prize-winning author of Girl, Woman, Other, Bernardine Evaristo’s memoir of her own life and writing, and her manifesto on unstoppability, creativity, and activism.
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Glorious performance and inspiring story
- By Maggi Morehouse on 01-25-22
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City Boy
- My Life in New York During the 1960s and '70s
- By: Edmund White
- Narrated by: Robert Blumenfeld
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the New York of the 1970s, in the wake of Stonewall and in the midst of economic collapse, you might find the likes of Jasper Johns and William Burroughs at the next cocktail party, and you were as likely to be caught arguing Marx at the New York City Ballet as cruising for sex in the warehouses and parked trucks along the Hudson. This is the New York that Edmund White portrays in City Boy: a place of enormous intrigue and artistic tumult.
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Pretense upon pretense.
- By Shalin Desai on 06-01-15
By: Edmund White
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The Stonewall Reader
- By: New York Public Library, Edmund White
- Narrated by: full cast
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
June 28, 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising, which is considered the most significant event in the gay liberation movement, and the catalyst for the modern fight for LGBTQ rights in the United States. Drawing from the New York Public Library's archives, The Stonewall Reader is a collection of first accounts, diaries, periodic literature, and articles from LGBTQ magazines and newspapers that documented both the years leading up to and the years following the riots.
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A good snapshot of LGBT history
- By Randy A. Wood on 09-28-19
By: New York Public Library, and others
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The Myth of the American Dream
- Reflections on Affluence, Autonomy, Safety and Power
- By: D.L. Mayfield
- Narrated by: Nan McNamara
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Affluence, autonomy, safety, and power. These are the central values of the American dream. But are they actually compatible with Jesus' command to love our neighbor as ourselves? In essays grouped around these four values, D. L. Mayfield asks us to pay attention to the ways they shape our own choices, and the ways those choices affect our neighbors. Where did these values come from? How have they failed those on the edges of our society? And how can we disentangle ourselves from our culture's headlong pursuit of these values and live faithful lives of service to God and our neighbors?
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Sooooo good. Powerful
- By D. Frazier on 08-19-21
By: D.L. Mayfield
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After years away from her family's homeland, and healing from an affair with an established director, stage actress Sonia Nasir returns to Palestine to visit her older sister Haneen. Though the siblings grew up spending summers at their family home in Haifa, Sonia hasn't been back since the second intifada and the deaths of her grandparents. While Haneen stayed and made a life commuting to Tel Aviv to teach at the university, Sonia remained in London to focus on her burgeoning acting career and now dissolute marriage.
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Story doesn’t really kick off
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Reading Lolita in Tehran
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Every Thursday morning for two years in the Islamic Republic of Iran, a bold and inspired teacher named Azar Nafisi secretly gathered seven of her most committed female students to read forbidden Western classics. As Islamic morality squads staged arbitrary raids in Tehran, fundamentalists seized hold of the universities, and a blind censor stifled artistic expression, the girls in Azar Nafisi's living room risked removing their veils and immersed themselves in the worlds of Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henry James, and Vladimir Nabokov.
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A literary critique of Russian lit.
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In a remote Polish village, Janina devotes the dark winter days to studying astrology, translating the poetry of William Blake, and taking care of the summer homes of wealthy Warsaw residents. Her reputation as a crank and a recluse is amplified by her not-so-secret preference for the company of animals over humans. Then, a neighbor, Big Foot, turns up dead. Soon, other bodies are discovered, in increasingly strange circumstances. As suspicions mount, Janina inserts herself into the investigation, certain that she knows whodunit. If only anyone would pay her mind....
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Devastatingly Beautiful
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The Pain Gap
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Explore real women’s tales of health-care trauma and medical misogyny with this meticulously researched, in-depth examination of the women’s health crisis in America - and what we can do about it.
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Misleading Title
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I Who Have Never Known Men
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Overall
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Deep underground, 39 women live imprisoned in a cage. Watched over by guards, the women have no memory of how they got there, no notion of time, and only a vague recollection of their lives before. As the burn of electric light merges day into night and numberless years pass, a young girl—the 40th prisoner—sits alone and outcast in the corner. Soon she will show herself to be the key to the others’ escape and survival in the strange world that awaits them above ground.
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Outstanding
- By katherine on 09-18-23
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Wanderlust
- A History of Walking
- By: Rebecca Solnit
- Narrated by: Liisa Ivary
- Length: 13 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Drawing together many histories - of anatomical evolution and city design, of treadmills and labyrinths, of walking clubs and sexual mores - Rebecca Solnit creates a fascinating portrait of the range of possibilities presented by walking. Arguing that the history of walking includes walking for pleasure as well as for political, aesthetic, and social meaning, Solnit focuses on the walkers whose everyday and extreme acts have shaped our culture, from philosophers to poets to mountaineers.
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Walking as politics
- By Jason V on 06-04-18
By: Rebecca Solnit
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Outlawed
- By: Anna North
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The day of her wedding, 17-year-old Ada’s life looks good; she loves her husband, and she loves working as an apprentice to her mother, a respected midwife. But after a year of marriage and no pregnancy, in a town where barren women are routinely hanged as witches, her survival depends on leaving behind everything she knows. She joins up with the notorious Hole in the Wall Gang, a band of outlaws led by a preacher-turned-robber known to all as the Kid. Charismatic, grandiose and mercurial, the Kid is determined to create a safe haven for outcast women.
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Interesting idea
- By Sarahmarie on 01-17-21
By: Anna North
What listeners say about Recollections of My Nonexistence
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- MayaZ
- 05-30-21
One of the most important books of the roaring 20’s
I have read and listened to many of Miss Solnit’s book - but this one is so powerful .
It should be read in Academia as well as by a diverse group of people .
Men, I encourage you to listen it.
Such a deep reflection on the power of voice in our world - and the lack of power of marginalized voices .
An added pleasure was listening to the very end of the book, for the author’s heartfelt acknowledgements.
Highly recommended!
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4 people found this helpful
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- Naybythesea
- 08-15-21
Solnit speaks truth to power
whatever I read or listen to an article or a book by Rebecca Solnit, I feel heard, understood, and seen. Solnit unapologetically speaks the truths that so many other women have been silenced, shamed, punished for. she points out the insanity of punishing and diminishing people just for speaking the truth, as well as the fact that violence and degradation of women still happens daily, despite claims of equality and progress.
The narrator's reduction of the word "sometimes" to a monosyllabic "s'times," however, was a bit distracting.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Crystal D Hartman
- 01-11-23
Love
A liberating, beautiful collection of stories from a life in word and art, spoken as a landscape that spans time and the American West.
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- AnahitaAnahita
- 03-10-23
Keep listening
It took me a while to actually get into this book. It's a thought provoking, very important read.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-09-21
The Lantern Lighter!
Rebecca sees the invisible, the concealed, the veiled, the obscured and in a limpidly straightforward manner lights a little lantern for all to see. Exceptional writing!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Garrett Elwood
- 02-07-22
Love
Spread this around like plant based butter on organic broccoli. Consume and grow! Peace for all.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jesse Rolfer
- 03-25-20
Observant, organized, and real...
I find it rare and inspiring to find a mind who brings to life observations with such clarity. It’s not about the usual emotions and self referencing found in a memoir. Memoirs are my thing, and I enjoy all the lessons and distinct revelations of personality. Rebecca reveals herself by revealing her thoughts, at first it felt odd to me because of her style, but then her words sunk in. Those words reveal a poet and artist in her own right.
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11 people found this helpful
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- Nicole
- 01-22-23
Thank you
Thank you for reminding me of my of my important youth living in SF, my intentions as a mother with this awesome responsibility that I am equally grateful for. I play the last few minutes of this audiobook over again to remember some of the same places I am grateful for while I was figuring out if I exist.
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- Robert
- 05-18-20
Spectacular, Great Work, but Subtle, Delicate & ..
Spectacular, Great Work, but Subtle, Delicate & Precise
Both soft and strong, alive with sensitivity and power. In words, truth and insight with her scenic descriptions of life and of her life.
I am swept away in her lyrically painted flashes of her past and the city.
More please.
Buy it! Read it!
PS In no way similar but equally affecting to many of my other audible favorites
PPS more than 200 audible books mostly dreary clunkers I would dump if it wasn't so tedious.
But Solnit!
Much to thin and small to say I love it
Rather it's wonderful, wise, gentle, strong ...
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8 people found this helpful
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- k chu
- 09-04-23
'Mansplainer' extraordinaire
An analytical and brave look into
patriarchy practised by the western world in modern times.
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