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Plain Bad Heroines
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 19 hrs and 27 mins
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Publisher's summary
“Full of Victorian sapphic romance, metafictional horror, biting misandrist humor, Hollywood intrigue, and multiple timeliness - all replete with evocative illustrations that are icing on a deviously delicious cake.” (O, The Oprah Magazine)
“Brimming from start to finish with sly humor and gothic mischief. Brilliant.” (Sarah Waters)
Named a Most Anticipated Book by:
- O, The Oprah Magazine
- Buzzfeed
- Harper's Bazaar
- Vulture
- Parade
- Popsugar
- Bustle
- Goodreads
- Autostraddle
- Literary Hub
- And more!
The award-winning author of The Miseducation of Cameron Post makes her adult debut with this highly imaginative and original horror-comedy centered around a cursed New England boarding school for girls - a wickedly whimsical celebration of the art of storytelling, sapphic love, and the rebellious female spirit.
Our story begins in 1902, at the Brookhants School for Girls. Flo and Clara, two impressionable students, are obsessed with each other and with a daring young writer named Mary MacLane, the author of a scandalous best-selling memoir. To show their devotion to Mary, the girls establish their own private club and call it the Plain Bad Heroine Society. They meet in secret in a nearby apple orchard, the setting of their wildest happiness and, ultimately, of their macabre deaths.
This is where their bodies are later discovered with a copy of Mary’s book splayed beside them, the victims of a swarm of stinging, angry yellow jackets. Less than five years later, the Brookhants School for Girls closes its doors forever - but not before three more people mysteriously die on the property, each in a most troubling way.
More than a century later, the now-abandoned and crumbling Brookhants is back in the news when wunderkind writer Merritt Emmons publishes a breakout book celebrating the queer, feminist history surrounding the “haunted and cursed” Gilded Age institution. Her best-selling book inspires a controversial horror film adaptation starring celebrity actor and lesbian it girl Harper Harper playing the ill-fated heroine Flo, opposite B-list actress and former child star Audrey Wells as Clara. But as Brookhants opens its gates once again, and our three modern heroines arrive on set to begin filming, past and present become grimly entangled - or perhaps just grimly exploited - and soon it’s impossible to tell where the curse leaves off and Hollywood begins.
A story within a story within a story, Plain Bad Heroines is a devilishly haunting, modern masterwork of metafiction that manages to combine the ghostly sensibility of Sarah Waters with the dark imagination of Marisha Pessl and the sharp humor and incisive social commentary of Curtis Sittenfeld into one laugh-out-loud funny, spellbinding, and wonderfully luxuriant listen.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Clare and Henry have known each other since Clare was six and Henry was 36. They were married when Clare was 23 and Henry was 31. Impossible but true, because Henry is one of the first people diagnosed with Chrono-Displacement Disorder: periodically his genetic clock resets and he finds himself misplaced in time, pulled to moments of emotional gravity from his life, past and future. His disappearances are spontaneous, his experiences unpredictable, alternately harrowing and amusing.
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One of my favorite books
- By Joey on 01-13-08
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Face It
- By: Georgette Kaplan
- Narrated by: Anastasia Watley
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In college, Elizabeth Smile shared a magical tryst with her roommate, Michelle Harlow. She had no idea the night would leave Elizabeth pining after her for the next ten years. Now Michelle is back with a strange offer: Will she pretend to be Michelle's lesbian lover to beat Michelle's cheating husband?
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Give it a chance—brilliant!
- By Meredith on 01-22-23
By: Georgette Kaplan
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Two Truths and a Lie
- A Novel
- By: Meg Mitchell Moore
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Truth: Sherri Griffin and her daughter, Katie, recently moved to the idyllic beach town of Newburyport, Massachusetts. They’ve been welcomed by Rebecca Coleman, unofficial former leader of the Newburyport Mom Squad, and her teenage daughter Alexa, Katie’s new babysitter. Truth: Alexa has time on her hands after a falling-out with her friends involving her popular YouTube channel.
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Really more of a YA novel...
- By Faith W. on 09-04-20
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Call Down the Hawk (The Dreamer Trilogy, Book 1)
- By: Maggie Stiefvater
- Narrated by: Will Patton
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ronan Lynch is a dreamer. He can pull both curiosities and catastrophes out of his dreams and into his compromised reality. Jordan Hennessy is a thief. The closer she comes to the dream object she is after, the more inextricably she becomes tied to it. Carmen Farooq-Lane is a hunter. Her brother was a dreamer...and a killer. She has seen what dreaming can do to a person. And she has seen the damage that dreamers can do. But that is nothing compared to the destruction that is about to be unleashed....
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Unlistenable
- By Nathan Parker on 11-24-19
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Point B
- A Teleportation Love Story
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Rebecca Soler
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When the corporate monolith PortSys brought porting to the masses, CEO Emilia Kirsch and her son, Jason, accomplished what every other start-up company had failed to deliver. They really did change the world. They reversed climate change. They created a multitrillion-dollar industry out of thin air, curing economic woes across the globe. They made it so that anyone could be anywhere simply by touching a screen...including the man who murdered Sarah Huff. Now, Sarah’s 17-year-old sister, Anna, is determined to hunt the bastard down. But there are a few problems.
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Sherry Potter’s only got one spell: portkey
- By aaron gilbert on 11-02-20
By: Drew Magary
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The Miseducation of Cameron Post
- By: Emily M. Danforth
- Narrated by: Beth Laufer
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Cameron Post feels a mix of guilt and relief when her parents die in a car accident. Their deaths mean they will never learn the truth she eventually comes to - that she's gay. Orphaned, Cameron comes to live with her old-fashioned grandmother and ultraconservative aunt Ruth. When she’s eventually outed, her aunt sends her to God’s Promise, a religious conversion camp that is supposed to “cure” her homosexuality. At the camp, Cameron comes face to face with the cost of denying her true identity.
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A very worthwhile Read!
- By TENA on 11-02-14
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Jack: Secret Histories
- Young Repairman Jack Series 1
- By: F. Paul Wilson
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ever come across a situation that simply wasn't right - where someone was getting the dirty end of the stick and you wished you could make things right but didn't know how? Fourteen-year-old Jack knows how. Or rather he's learning how. He's discovering that he has a knack for fixing things. Not bikes or toys or appliances - situations...It all starts when Jack and his best friends, Weezy and Eddie, discover a rotting corpse - the victim of ritual murder - in the fabled New Jersey Pine Barrens. Beside the body is an ancient artifact carved with strange designs.
By: F. Paul Wilson
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The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek
- By: Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
At first, high school freshmen Rex McClendon and Leif Nelson believe what they’ve been told - that local students’ strange demises at Whitewood, a local reformatory, were all tragic accidents. But when the shoot for their low-budget horror masterpiece, PolterDog, goes horribly awry - and their best friend, Alicia Boykins, is sent to Whitewood - Rex and Leif are forced to question everything they know about their unassuming hometown and its cherished school for delinquents.
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Does it hold up beyond the R&L fandom?
- By BrettM on 12-01-19
By: Rhett McLaughlin, and others
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If You See Her
- By: Ania Ahlborn
- Narrated by: Brian Holden
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The house on Old Mill Road has stood in an open field for longer than Jesse Wells has been alive, its crooked windows and jutting turret tormenting the kids of Warsaw, Michigan the way only a haunted house knows how. Everyone imagines that something terrible lurks within the house’s abandoned rooms - especially Jesse and his two closest friends, Casey and Reed. But when Reed chooses the house as a backdrop for his own suicide, childhood ghost stories are transformed into a nightmare that sends Jesse into a downward spiral of grief.
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DNF. Quit halfway through. A slog.
- By Smart, AZ on 07-10-22
By: Ania Ahlborn
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Tell Me Everything
- A Novel
- By: Cambria Brockman
- Narrated by: Ariadne Meyers
- Length: 12 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In her first weeks at Hawthorne College, Malin is swept up into a tight-knit circle that will stick together through all four years. There’s Gemma, an insecure theater major from London; John, a tall, handsome, wealthy New Englander; Max, John’s cousin, a shy pre-med major; Khaled, a wisecracking prince from Abu Dhabi; and Ruby, a beautiful art history major. But Malin isn’t like the rest of her friends. She’s an expert at hiding her troubled past - all while using her extraordinary insight to detect their deepest vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
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beware
- By keith y. on 10-03-19
By: Cambria Brockman
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The Bitter and Sweet of Cherry Season
- By: Molly Fader
- Narrated by: Nancy Peterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Everything Hope knows about the Orchard House is from the stories of her late mother. So when she arrives at the northern Michigan family estate late one night with a terrible secret and her 10-year-old daughter in tow, she’s not sure if she’ll be welcomed or turned away with a shotgun by the aunt she has never met.
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Really Enjoyed It
- By Kathryn @theBookDate on 03-30-21
By: Molly Fader
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Magic Hour
- By: Kristin Hannah
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the rugged Pacific Northwest lies the Olympic National Forest - nearly a million acres of impenetrable darkness and impossible beauty. From deep within this old growth forest, a six-year-old girl appears. Speechless and alone, she offers no clue as to her identity, no hint of her past.
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Horrible narration
- By Howard Egan on 12-27-20
By: Kristin Hannah
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The First Husband
- By: Laura Dave
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Klett
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Annie Adams is days away from her 32nd birthday and thinks she has finally found some happiness. She visits the world's most interesting places for her syndicated travel column and she's happily cohabiting with her movie director boyfriend Nick in Los Angeles. But when Nick comes home from a meeting with his therapist (aka "futures counselor") and announces that he's taking a break from their relationship so he can pursue a woman from his past, the place Annie had come to call home is shattered.
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Meh
- By Bernice Holland on 05-16-21
By: Laura Dave
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The McAvoy Sisters Book of Secrets
- A Novel
- By: Molly Fader
- Narrated by: Nancy Peterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s been 17 years since the tragic summer the McAvoy sisters fell apart. Lindy, the wild one, left home, carved out a new life in the city, and never looked back. Delia, the sister who stayed, became a mother herself, raising her daughters and running the family shop in their small Ohio hometown on the shores of Lake Erie. But now, with their mother’s ailing health and a rebellious teenager to rein in, Delia has no choice but to welcome Lindy home.
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Great story
- By Nessa on 09-25-23
By: Molly Fader
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it was different.
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New York Times and USA Today best seller Alyssa Cole’s second Runaway Royals novel is a queer Anastasia retelling, featuring a long-lost princess who finds love with the female investigator tasked with tracking her down.
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Kathleen has always been dramatic. She suffers from the bizarre malady of experiencing stabbing pain in her feet. On her 16th birthday, she woke screaming from the sensation that her tongue had been cut out. No doctor can find a medical explanation for her pain, and even the most powerful drugs have proven useless. Only the touch of seawater can ease her pain, and just temporarily at that.
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Avoid this pretentious melodramatic snoozefest
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The Hiding Place
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Horror with a touch of wisdom
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The Lake House
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Fun
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One summer night, a boy and his beautiful cousin plunge naked into the moonlit waters of a rural quarry. Twenty years later, the boy, now grown, flees the wreckage of his life and returns to Arden, Wisconsin, in search of everything he has lost. But for Miles Teagarden, the landscape he knew so well has turned eerie and threatening. And the love he shared has become very, very deadly....
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A decent Peter Straub novel ! Tell your friends !
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Big Burr, Kansas is the kind of place where everyone seems to know everyone - or so they think. But when a national nonprofit labels Big Burr “the most homophobic town in the US” and sends in a queer task force to live and work there for two years, no one is prepared for what will ensue.
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Gripping and mysterious!
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Linda, an anxious and restless American, has moved to São Paulo, with her husband, Dennis, who has accepted a yearlong professorship. As Dennis submerges himself in his work, Linda finds herself unmoored and adrift, feeling increasingly disassociated from her own body. Linda’s unwavering and skilled maid, Marta, has more claim to Linda’s home than Linda can fathom. Marta, who is struggling to make sense of complicated history and its racial tensions, is exasperated by Linda’s instability.
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Warm, sweet tropics
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Say You're Sorry
- The Sacramento Series, Book 1
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There is a serial killer on the loose preying on vulnerable women. The only identifiable mark the killer leaves are letters - sometimes one, sometimes two - all carved into the torsos of his victims. Together, they spell “Sydney”. When he grabs Daisy Dawson, he believes he has found his next victim. But despite her small stature, she fights back with an expertise that quickly frees her. Before fleeing the scene, Daisy also manages to grab what proves to be crucial evidence: a necklace from around the killer’s neck.
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HOLY SH*T!!!! One of the best from Karen Rose!
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By: Karen Rose
What listeners say about Plain Bad Heroines
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jackson
- 12-14-20
This book took a long time to get nowhere
I enjoyed the ride, but the end was kind of a let down. Not enough explained for the story build up. The narrator was good, but a little too tongue in cheek even for the story. None of the characters were particularly likable. I can’t think of a better way to say this - it is a VERY millennial book. You’ll see what I mean.
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8 people found this helpful
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Story
- Melanie Palma
- 09-11-21
Enchanted
Brugmansia arborea, a bit of witchcraft, shifting timelines and beautiful, complicated female characters.
What’s not to like?
Loved it…
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- Laura Howell
- 01-22-24
surprisingly good
the narrator took some getting used to, she seemed a bit monotone at times and the characters as a result sounded very similar and oftentimes made it difficult to differentiate. that's the only complaint, she's really good otherwise! the book was fantastic, and always kept me on my toes. will read again.
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- Desi
- 01-31-24
what Rebecca should have been
great story, engaging and at times unsettling! would love to find more books just like this.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
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Story
- Brett B
- 09-07-21
Whoa
That was excellent. And Xe Sands' narration...superb. Love the weaving of storylines, the characters, and the pace. It's a slow burn, a story to drink in and savor, sip by sip.
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-06-21
I loved the narrator
I loved the narrator's voice. she really made it come to life. I liked that there were so many different character backgrounds included. It really let me get invested in the story and want to know more. Also it is nice to hear a story with many queer ladies both in the past and present represented, as well as other queer people.
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- Matthew Harris
- 01-20-23
Wonderful narration
Wonderful narration with a compelling plot and characters. I would definitely recommend this title to you.
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- Kenny Cook
- 08-09-21
Pleasantly surprised by this book...
I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I got it because I LOVE anything and everything Xe Sands does. Then realized that a Lesbian horror story was really great!
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- D. Rowland
- 04-18-22
Slow burn, engaging listen, very queer
The dual timelines, entrenched queerness, and slow burn of the spooky all made for an engaging listen. I'm still chewing on the story as a whole and whether it was actually satisfying for me.
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- Knielsen
- 08-05-22
Such a great book! Highly recommend!
I wasn’t expecting much, but this was one of the best fiction books I’ve read in a while. I love how much it weaves in history and I hope someone makes a film out of this very meta story one day. It’s great to read in a ladies book club ;)
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