Not Drinking Tonight
A Guide to Creating a Sober Life You Love
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Narrated by:
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Amanda E. White LPC
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Suehyla El-Attar
About this listen
In this honest discussion of mental health, the founder of Therapy for Women explores our reasons for drinking alcohol - and the benefits of taking a break.
When “retired party girl” and popular therapist Amanda White admitted she was an alcoholic, it wasn’t because she’d done something outrageous while under the influence, like land herself in jail or get married in Vegas. It was because she realized three things:
- Alcohol was making her life worse.
- Moderation wasn’t helping.
- She could not be a therapist if she continued to use alcohol to numb her life.
Something needed to change - not just her relationship with alcohol, but her relationship with herself.
Choosing not to drink can be daunting. It’s everywhere in our culture, our socializing, and our destressing. And it can seem black or white: You drink or you don’t (and if you don’t, people ask why). That’s where Not Drinking Tonight comes in. Judgement-free and relatable, Amanda helps you unpack your relationship with alcohol by showing you how to:
- Find out why you drink. Whether it’s a glass of wine after work or a weekly bar crawl, your drinking habits can be the result of everything from biology to trauma.
- Heal your relationship with alcohol. Understand how your relationships have been affecting your life, and learn how to set boundaries and create true self-care.
- Build the sober life you love. Learn what comes next - how to maintain your social life, navigate sex and relationships, and love yourself.
Not Drinking Tonight isn’t a program to stop drinking. It’s the first book to help you address the root issues that cause you to reach for a drink and create a life you love - one that is not perfect but is messy and real and one you are fully present for.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2022 Amanda E. White, LPC (P)2022 Hachette GoListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Not Drinking Tonight is a wonderful guide to setting healthy boundaries with alcohol—and yourself. Amanda helps you dig into the root of your struggles to better understand why you drink and why you might want to stop—setting you up for a more fulfilling life all around, even if you don’t choose full sobriety. Readers will gain the self-awareness, compassion, and confidence to make choices that better serve them.”—Nedra Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
"Anyone wanting to change their relationship with alcohol must be willing to do some deep self-examination. Amanda White’s multi-layered approach offers empowerment, experience, and wisdom to those looking to begin their own journeys."—Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment
"A knowledgeable, compassionate, and supportive guide. With a wealth of examples, tools, practices, and new ways of relating to both alcohol and the self, Not Drinking Tonight will be an accessible and revelatory balm for anyone questioning the kind of life they want to create outside of drinking.”—Lisa Olivera, LMFT, author of Already Enough
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Drawing on forty collective years of research and decades of clinical experience, the authors present the best practical advice science has to offer. Delivered with warmth, optimism, and humor, Beyond Addiction defines a new, empowered role for friends and family and a paradigm shift for the field.
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No PDF with supplemental
- By Zena on 01-23-18
By: Jeffrey Foote PhD, and others
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Taming Your Outer Child
- Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment
- By: Susan Anderson
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.
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Her voice made me cringe.
- By zoe on 02-15-21
By: Susan Anderson
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This Naked Mind
- Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life
- By: Annie Grace
- Narrated by: Annie Grace
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
This Naked Mind offers a new, positive solution. Here, Annie Grace clearly presents the psychological and neurological components of alcohol use based on the latest science and reveals the cultural, social, and industry factors that support alcohol dependence in all of us. Packed with surprising insight into the reasons we drink, this book will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture and how the stigma of alcoholism and recovery keeps people from getting the help they need.
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Not as Described
- By Sean on 07-01-18
By: Annie Grace
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Happy Mind, Happy Life
- The New Science of Mental Wellbeing
- By: Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
- Narrated by: Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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During his twenty years as a GP, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, author of the international bestseller Feel Better in 5, has seen first-hand that motivation isn't always enough for us to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It's only when we learn how to support our own mental wellbeing and cultivate core happiness that these choices become easy. In Happy Mind, Happy Life, Dr. Chatterjee shares cutting-edge insights into the science of happiness and reveals ten simple ways to put you back in control of your health.
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Ok
- By Anonymous User on 07-01-22
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Super You
- Release Your Inner Superhero
- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
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Addict in the House
- A No-Nonsense Family Guide Through Addiction and Recovery
- By: Robin Barnett EdD LCSW, Darren Kavinoky - foreword
- Narrated by: Denice Stradling
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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If you’re the family member of an addict, you may feel confused, guilty, and scared of doing the wrong thing. And when you don’t know how to help, you may find yourself in a codependent role. Addict in the House offers a pragmatic, step-by-step guide to dealing with a loved one’s addiction, from accepting the reality of the disease to surviving what may be repeated cycles of recovery and relapse. You’ll learn how to encourage your addicted loved one to get help without forcing it and finally find the strength to let go of codependence.
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was okay.
- By Michelle on 05-02-19
By: Robin Barnett EdD LCSW, and others
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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The Biology of Desire
- Why Addiction Is Not a Disease
- By: Marc Lewis PhD
- Narrated by: Don Hagen
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The psychiatric establishment and rehab industry in the Western world have branded addiction a brain disease based on evidence that brains change with drug use. But in The Biology of Desire, cognitive neuroscientist and former addict Marc Lewis makes a convincing case that addiction is not a disease and shows why the disease model has become an obstacle to healing. Lewis reveals addiction as an unintended consequence of the brain doing what it's supposed to do - seek pleasure and relief - in a world that's not cooperating.
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An important addition to understanding addiction.
- By Jeff M on 02-28-16
By: Marc Lewis PhD
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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The Tapping Solution
- A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living
- By: Nick Ortner
- Narrated by: Nick Ortner
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Do you have things in your life that you wish were different . . . but you don’t know how to change? The Tapping Solution offers a new technique to deal with seemingly impossible situations. Tapping, also known as EFT, is a powerful tool for improving your life on multiple levels: mental, emotional, and physical. It has been proven to effectively address a range of issues - from anxiety, chronic pain, addiction, and fear, to weight control, financial abundance, stress relief, and so much more.
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Comment on Stacy Allens negative review
- By SK on 04-04-13
By: Nick Ortner
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Recover to Live
- Kick Any Habit, Manage Any Addiction: Your Self-Treatment Guide to Alcohol, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Gambling, Hoarding, Smoking, Sex, and Porn
- By: Christopher Kennedy Lawford
- Narrated by: Seth Michael Donsky
- Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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From New York Times bestselling author of Symptoms of Withdrawal and Moments of Clarity Christopher Kennedy Lawford comes a book that will save lives. For most of his early life, Christopher Kennedy Lawford battled life-threatening drug and alcohol addictions. Now in recovery for more than 25 years, he works to effect change and raise global awareness of addiction in nonprofit, private, and government circles, serving as the goodwill ambassador for drug dependence treatment and care for the United Nations.
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I didn't know I was a workaholic
- By wh on 06-17-13
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For Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, alcohol was the seasoning that could give almost any activity more flavor—from liquor cabinet concoctions in high school to tequila shots in her early stand-up comedy days to grocery store wine in young motherhood. A drink instantly took the edge off and made even the most difficult adversary (be it a tough crowd in a comedy club or a judgmental PTA mom) not just bearable but fun.
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This Side of Alcohol
- Random Thoughts and Candid Words of Pain, Hope, Humor, Love—and All That Is Possible in Sobriety
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A woman in her 30s begins to question the routine and predictability of her days. In everybody's eyes, she has a perfect life: happy marriage, children, and a career. Yet what she feels is an enormous apathy. All that changes when she encounters a successful politician who had, years earlier, been her high school boyfriend. As she rediscovers the passion missing from her life, she will face a life-altering choice.
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horrible narration, boring story
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Blackout
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A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, Blackout is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure - the sober life she never wanted. For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was "the gasoline of all adventure". She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she proudly stayed till last call. But there was a price. Publicly, she covered her shame with self-deprecating jokes, and her career flourished, but as the blackouts accumulated, she could no longer avoid a sinking truth.
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Blackout: A Knockout
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For Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, alcohol was the seasoning that could give almost any activity more flavor—from liquor cabinet concoctions in high school to tequila shots in her early stand-up comedy days to grocery store wine in young motherhood. A drink instantly took the edge off and made even the most difficult adversary (be it a tough crowd in a comedy club or a judgmental PTA mom) not just bearable but fun.
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So relatable even though I'm not a Mom
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This could have simply been called Lush Living
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This Side of Alcohol is borne out of the cathartic journaling I did during the first two years following my break-up with alcohol. It tells the story of what I did to get and stay sober, allowing me to transform my shame, guilt, and anger into self-compassion, self-discovery, and forgiveness—of myself and others. From self-loathing isolation to a joyous community of support and rediscovered intimacy with my family.
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A woman in her 30s begins to question the routine and predictability of her days. In everybody's eyes, she has a perfect life: happy marriage, children, and a career. Yet what she feels is an enormous apathy. All that changes when she encounters a successful politician who had, years earlier, been her high school boyfriend. As she rediscovers the passion missing from her life, she will face a life-altering choice.
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horrible narration, boring story
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Quit Like a Woman
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We live in a world obsessed with drinking. We drink at baby showers and work events, brunch and book club, graduations and funerals. Yet no one ever questions alcohol’s ubiquity—in fact, the only thing ever questioned is why someone doesn’t drink. It is a qualifier for belonging and if you don’t imbibe, you are considered an anomaly. As a society, we are obsessed with health and wellness, yet we uphold alcohol as some kind of magic elixir, though it is anything but.
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you had me until the last chapter
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We Are the Luckiest
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What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
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Push Off from Here
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In Push Off from Here, McKowen delves deeply into each of her nine points: what they mean, how they work, and how every person can live them. She addresses topics such as the correlation between trauma and addiction, the importance of radical honesty, letting go of the illusion of control, the value of community, a reminder that healing is a continual process, and that the process is a gift. Whether you’re just starting out or have been sober for decades, McKowen instructs us to be kind to ourselves: Change is messy and progress is rarely linear, but we can always push off from here.
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As a "Quit Lit" connoisseur, this is a new fave!
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Sober Curious
- The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol
- By: Ruby Warrington
- Narrated by: Ruby Warrington
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- Unabridged
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It’s the nagging question more and more of us are finding harder to ignore, whether we have a “problem” with alcohol or not. In the face of how we care for ourselves otherwise, it’s hard to avoid how alcohol really makes us feel: terrible. How different would our lives be if we stopped drinking on autopilot? If we stopped drinking altogether? Frank, funny, and always judgment-free, Sober Curious is a bold guide to choosing to live hangover-free, from Ruby Warrington, one of the leading voices of the new sobriety movement.
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Kinda confusing
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Beautiful People Don't Just Happen
- How God Redeems Regret, Hurt, and Fear in the Making of Better Humans
- By: Scott Sauls
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Overall
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In twenty-five years of pastoral ministry, Scott Sauls has come alongside countless individuals and communities through weary seasons and circumstances. From his own seasons of regret, hurt, and fear--including battles with anxiety and depression--he knows what it's like to be unfinished and on the mend under Jesus' merciful, mighty healing hand.
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You need this encouragement.
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The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
- Discovering a Happy, Healthy, Wealthy Alcohol-Free Life
- By: Catherine Gray
- Narrated by: Catherine Gray
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Ever sworn off alcohol for January and found yourself drinking by the 7th? Think there's 'no point' in just one drink? Welcome! There are millions of us. This inspirational, aspirational and highly relatable narrative champions the benefits of sobriety with a three-pronged approach combining the author's personal experience, factual reportage and contributions from expert sources and self-help advice for anyone who wants to reduce their alcohol intake or eliminate it completely.
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Best Book on This Subject!
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This Naked Life
- Forty-Eight True Stories of Finding Freedom from Alcohol
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This Naked Life offers 48 raw and real stories of people, who have found freedom from alcohol. In this audio, discover how Bryan went from hopeless certainty that drinking would eventually kill him, to absolute peace over the course of a single day. See how listening one book gave Jennifer total freedom after 20 years of binge drinking. Watch Becca thrive in ways she had never thought possible, all because she learned it was okay to question her relationship with alcohol before she hit rock bottom.
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It’s an infomercial
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By: Annie Grace
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First, We Make the Beast Beautiful
- A New Journey Through Anxiety
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While reading psychiatrist Kay Redfield Jamison's groundbreaking account of bipolar disorder, An Unquiet Mind, Sarah Wilson discovered an ancient Chinese proverb that would change her life: To conquer a beast, you must first make it beautiful. Wilson, a best-selling author, journalist, and entrepreneur, had spent years struggling with her own beast: Chronic anxiety. And the words of this proverb would become the key to understanding her condition.
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Can’t do it!
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By: Sarah Wilson
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Something I Never Told You
- By: Shravya Bhinder
- Narrated by: Veena Fansalkar
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ronnie knew that his first crush was way out of his league, and yet he pursued and wooed Adira. Shyly and from a distance in the beginning, and more persuasively later. He couldn't believe it when the beautiful Adira actually began to reciprocate, falling in love with him for his simplicity and honesty. Slowly, as they get close and comfortable with each other, life took on another hue. From truly magical it became routine. There were fights and then making-up sessions - a clash of egos and doubts.
By: Shravya Bhinder
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The Wisdom of No Escape
- And the Path of Loving-Kindness
- By: Pema Chodron
- Narrated by: Joanna Rotté
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s true, as they say, that we can only love others when we first love ourselves and we can only experience real joy when we stop running from pain. The key to understanding these truisms lies in remaining open to life in all circumstances, and here Pema Chödrön shows us how. Because when we embrace the happiness and suffering, intelligence and confusion that are a natural part of life, we can begin to discover a wellspring of courageous love within our hearts.
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Narrator doesn't do Pema justice.
- By jenjen on 08-07-19
By: Pema Chodron
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Understanding Your Potential Expanded Edition
- Discovering the Hidden You
- By: Myles Munroe
- Narrated by: Lamont Mapp
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Using the original words of Smith Wigglesworth edited in simple, easy-to-grasp nuggets—Smith Wigglesworth on Prayer, Power, and Miracles will inspire, motivate and shed insight on the topic of prayer. You will be intrigued to find fresh material that hasn't been available since the 1920s.
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Very thought provoking
- By Robb Hill on 10-21-24
By: Myles Munroe
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Winning Begins at Home
- A Strategy to Win Beyond Work—A Leadership Parable
- By: Randy Gravitt
- Narrated by: Randy Gravitt
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
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When you think of success, what comes to mind? Career, public achievements, diplomas, degrees? We work hard to find a job, gain promotions, and develop skills to become a peak performer. We’re continually striving to win at work. But does winning at work mean we have to lose at home? In all our “winning,” are we neglecting what matters most? Unfortunately, too many leaders achieve career success, only to find they have critically damaged their relationships with the people closest to them. Winning Begins at Home will help you change all that.
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Professional and Personal Success. Yes you can have both
- By Joe Reddington on 08-08-24
By: Randy Gravitt
What listeners say about Not Drinking Tonight
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- ina101
- 01-08-22
Great tool for those looking to explore their drinking habits
I found so much information in this book that can be applied to more than just drinking. The tools and information within the pages are very useful and I plan on using them to help me in moving forward in my own life.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-19-23
Useful In So Many Ways
This book is excellent for everyone. Whether you seek sobriety or personal growth, this book is a worthy read. Amanda has a way of saying things that make this book relatable. I have read the hard copy and listened to the audiobook.
I highly recommend it.
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- Michele O'Connell
- 08-19-24
More great ammunition!
I enjoyed listening to this title although a few of the personal stories were repetitive. Maybe someday Amanda can talk with 50yrs + women. Thank you though for more reasons to stay sober at day 80!!
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- Jessica S.
- 01-11-22
Everyone can benefit from this book
So so good. Replace alcohol with anything you used to cope and you can benefit from this book. Touches on so many aspects of life and encourages along the way.
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- Jennifer H. Joy
- 02-08-24
Generally good advice for living
Not judgmental and relatable women and concerns and fears. A good gentle prodding to taking a real look in the mirror and get to the real reasons for wanting to escape life and blunt stress and anxiety.
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- Christie
- 01-04-23
Applies to more than just drinking
Engaging and informative. This book provides helpful tools for examining your drinking or other vices. I’d recommend it to anyone who is thinking about making a change in their drinking or their life.
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- hw1234
- 01-03-23
Thought provoking
The content was great. I had a difficult time listening to the reader at times and almost stopped listening, but pushed through.
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- Taylor Sublett
- 01-11-23
Great narration of an excellent book
The narrator does an amazing job of bringing the material and characters to life
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- Susan Kolson
- 02-13-24
The real truth about drinking alcohol for better the book helped me much more than
Nothing to dislike very helpful and it works when you know the facts outlined here
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- Ann A
- 02-18-22
Great read
This was a great book! I felt like it was too short I wanted it to keep going. She’s a great writer and had so many amazing takeaways.
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