Quotes are a powerful way of educating ourselves about life, and life's lessons - some better, some worse. I truly believe that through listening to quotes and reading quotes, we can tap into the minds of great thinkers, as well as the average Joe.Good quotes bring us down to earth and provide another perspective for us to analyse and connect with. Quotes have the power to inspire, motivate, and of course, have the power to put a gentle smile on one's face.

David Sedaris' collection of essays - including live recordings! - tells a most unconventional life story. With every clever turn of a phrase, Sedaris brings a view and a voice like no other to every unforgettable encounter. You can also listen to Sedaris in an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air.

"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Let's be honest - nobody has more fun than atheists. Don’t believe it? Well, consider this: For nonbelievers, every day you’re alive is a day to celebrate! And no one celebrates life to the fullest like Penn Jillette - the larger, louder half of legendary magic duo Penn & Teller - whose spectacularly witty and sharply observant essays in Every Day Is an Atheist Holiday! will entertain zealots and skeptics alike.

Would you like to be able to discover the most commonly used American idioms and phrases that will make communication a breeze? Something you can’t learn from a textbook, you have to listen and hear the phrasing used in context in order to get the full and complete picture of how to appropriately use the words, sayings, and phrases. This audiobook acts as an extremely useful addition to your shelf of other English-learning books. Fit right in with the natives and never find yourself confused when someone says a common or uncommon phrase.

The Amy Binegar-Kimmes-Lyle Book of Failures is a funny memoir. If you have ever failed at love or finances, been fired, not fit in, self-diagnosed yourself with disorders and conditions, and/or said "I really need to get my s*** together", this is the book for you.

You have probably heard the term Old School, but what you might not know is that there is a concentrated effort to tear that school down. It's a values thing. The anti–Old School forces believe the traditional way of looking at life is oppressive. Not inclusive. The Old School way may harbor microaggressions. Therefore, Old School philosophy must be diminished. Those crusading against Old School now have a name: Snowflakes. You may have seen them on cable TV whining about social injustice and income inequality.

K-von is the most famous half-Persian comedian in the world. Born and raised in America, he invites the listener along on a hilarious journey as he investigates the mysteries of his Middle Eastern roots - making fun of himself along the way. With clever use of character voices and sound effects, prepare to be charmed by his recollection of immigrant-family memories, "horror stories" from the road, and valuable cultural tips. Nothing is off limits.

Following up the phenomenal success of her headline-making New York Times bestseller I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me, the unstoppable Joan Rivers is at it again. When her daughter Melissa gives her a diary for Christmas, at first Joan is horrified—who the hell does Melissa think she is? That fat pig, Bridget Jones? But as Joan, being both beautiful and introspective, begins to record her day-to-day musings, she realizes she has a lot to say. About everything. And everyone, God help them..

Dennis Miller is back, and he means to shake the nation by its lapels. Miller respects no boundaries. Whether the subject is dope-addled baseball players who can no longer swing their bats, do-nothing politicians who devote their careers to creating meaningful sound bites, or the nation's resigned acceptance of violence as a way of American life, these thematically arranged monologues are funny and angry. More significantly, they shatter the conventions of comedy by simultaneously making us laugh, think, and seethe.

As the 800,000+ U.S. fans of Elaine Lui’s site know, her mother, aka The Squawking Chicken, is a huge factor in Elaine’s life. She pulls no punches, especially with her only child. "Where’s my money?" she asks every time she sees Elaine. "You’ll never be Miss Hong Kong," she informed her daughter when she was a girl. Listen to the Squawking Chicken lays bare the playbook of unusual advice, warnings, and unwavering love that has guided Elaine throughout her life.

The poetry of Nikki Giovanni has spurred movements, turned hearts, and informed generations. She's been hailed as a firebrand, a radical, a healer, and a sage; a wise and courageous voice who has spoken out on the sensitive issues, including race and gender, that touch our national consciousness.

In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded. Dear Listener, Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.

He's a comedian. He's a YouTube sensation. And now he becomes an author. Best known for his song parodies and riffs on yoga pants and homeschooling, Tim Hawkins now shares his perspective on life in the 21st century in his long-awaited debut book. Tim's topics are as wide-ranging as his stand-up comedy, including marital communications ("Marriage needs a challenge flag, like in pro football"), worship music ("Pick the right key, because I'm not Barry White and I'm not a Bee Gee"), and food ("Eating a Krispy Kreme donut is like eating a baby angel").