
Mooses with Bazookas
And Other Stories Children Should Never Read
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $6.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
S. D. Smith
-
Rob Riggle
-
Joel Clarkson
-
Sarah Mackenzie
-
Gina Smith
-
Andy Harvey
-
By:
-
S. D. Smith
About this listen
Mooses with Bazookas: And Other Stories Children Should Never Read is a fun collection of stories. It’s exactly like The Count of Monte Cristo apart from the many differences. Our lawyers have instructed us to warn you that listening to it may directly cause you to come down with every single disease you are worried about contracting. On the plus side, our nation’s beloved and heroic critics have had their say.
“FANTASTIC is not a word that comes to mind.”
—Beth Hinkle, author of Elite Prose
“ASTOUNDING problems at the sentence level and beyond.”
—Dr. Roger Johns, Ph. D.
“S. D. SMITH IS in dire need of A GENIUS editor.”
—Art Simonson, Inner Ring Magazine
“This author had nothing MUCH BETTER to do THAN destroy the language of DICKENS, SHAKESPEARE, AUSTEN!”
—Yammy Tork, Good Lit Guild
S. D. Smith has been called “America’s aft-most wordsmith” and is the award-losing author of more than ten books and less than thirty-seven books. He is half-man, half-rabbit, and half-mathematician. He lives in West Virginia with his wife and four children, because it would be kinda weird to live with some other family and super weird not to live in West Virginia.
Listeners also enjoyed...
-
The Found Boys
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Andy Harvey
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The mission was supposed to be fun—even funny—but things got serious quick. What follows is a daring journey with narrow escapes, attack dogs, deadly fires, and a friendship forged in shared peril. Three friends embark on an intrepid quest to retrieve a priceless treasure guarded by a menacing villain. But this is no fantasy. For Scott and his friends Tommy and Dooley, the danger is all too real. Unlikely heroes will emerge. Enemies will become allies. Powerful truths will be revealed.
-
-
Heart warming story about reconciliation and forgiveness
- By River Song on 11-09-24
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Lost Key
- Green Ember: Lost Tales, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: S. D. Smith
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Picket, Heather, Jo, and your favorite Green Ember heroes are back for a thrilling new adventure. In the days after their arrival at Halfwind Citadel, the friends are caught up in a desperate fight for the cause when an internal conspiracy threatens to unravel the growing strength of rabbitkind’s resistance.
-
-
Disappointed
- By Jessica on 04-04-25
By: S. D. Smith
-
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key
- By: S. D. Smith, J. C. Smith
- Narrated by: Zeno Robinson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key is an enchanting adventure in the tradition of Tolkien and Lewis, as well as Spielberg and Lucas. But this fantastical journey launches in rural West Virginia in the '80s, with a half-Appalachian, half-African kid trying to escape the town he sees defining his small, sad life. Jack discovers a gate hiding a city between 12 realms and finds out where he truly belongs in a surprising, satisfying adventure.
-
-
Another epic tale for a great author!!
- By Shell27 on 01-26-23
By: S. D. Smith, and others
-
The Black Star of Kingston
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 2 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A century before Heather and Picket's adventures in The Green Ember, a displaced community fights for hope on the ragged edge of survival. Whitson Mariner and Fleck Blackstar face old fears and new enemies, forging a legend that will echo through the ages.
-
-
An Enchanting Tale
- By BookWorm on 02-28-16
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Last Archer
- Green Ember Archer, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jo is a gifted archer with a burden on his back and a fire within. Eager to see the Longtreaders receive justice, he travels from his Halfwind Citadel home to a Cloud Mountain poised on the brink of war. What he finds there will confront his convictions and test his resolve as the war begins and King Jupiter's heir is revealed. A kingdom in the balance. An arrow aimed at the heart of darkness. Who will take the shot?
-
-
“That was a great story.”
- By CW on 12-22-17
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Dragon and the Stone (The Dream Keeper Saga Book 1)
- The Dream Keeper Saga
- By: Kathryn Butler
- Narrated by: Shannon McManus
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Even though she's only 12 years old, Lily McKinley already feels the weight of the world's brokenness. She's seen it in her mother's exhaustion, her grandmother's illness, and the cruelty of Adam, the bully at her school. But most tragically, she experienced it two months ago when her father died in a terrible accident. As an artistic daydreamer, Lily has a brilliant imagination to help her cope, but that imagination often gets her into trouble. One day, it transports her to a fantasy world called the Somnium Realm, where her father's secret history embroils her in an epic quest.
-
-
Enjoyable
- By Chris Brenan on 04-02-25
By: Kathryn Butler
-
The Found Boys
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Andy Harvey
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The mission was supposed to be fun—even funny—but things got serious quick. What follows is a daring journey with narrow escapes, attack dogs, deadly fires, and a friendship forged in shared peril. Three friends embark on an intrepid quest to retrieve a priceless treasure guarded by a menacing villain. But this is no fantasy. For Scott and his friends Tommy and Dooley, the danger is all too real. Unlikely heroes will emerge. Enemies will become allies. Powerful truths will be revealed.
-
-
Heart warming story about reconciliation and forgiveness
- By River Song on 11-09-24
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Lost Key
- Green Ember: Lost Tales, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: S. D. Smith
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Picket, Heather, Jo, and your favorite Green Ember heroes are back for a thrilling new adventure. In the days after their arrival at Halfwind Citadel, the friends are caught up in a desperate fight for the cause when an internal conspiracy threatens to unravel the growing strength of rabbitkind’s resistance.
-
-
Disappointed
- By Jessica on 04-04-25
By: S. D. Smith
-
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key
- By: S. D. Smith, J. C. Smith
- Narrated by: Zeno Robinson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key is an enchanting adventure in the tradition of Tolkien and Lewis, as well as Spielberg and Lucas. But this fantastical journey launches in rural West Virginia in the '80s, with a half-Appalachian, half-African kid trying to escape the town he sees defining his small, sad life. Jack discovers a gate hiding a city between 12 realms and finds out where he truly belongs in a surprising, satisfying adventure.
-
-
Another epic tale for a great author!!
- By Shell27 on 01-26-23
By: S. D. Smith, and others
-
The Black Star of Kingston
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 2 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A century before Heather and Picket's adventures in The Green Ember, a displaced community fights for hope on the ragged edge of survival. Whitson Mariner and Fleck Blackstar face old fears and new enemies, forging a legend that will echo through the ages.
-
-
An Enchanting Tale
- By BookWorm on 02-28-16
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Last Archer
- Green Ember Archer, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jo is a gifted archer with a burden on his back and a fire within. Eager to see the Longtreaders receive justice, he travels from his Halfwind Citadel home to a Cloud Mountain poised on the brink of war. What he finds there will confront his convictions and test his resolve as the war begins and King Jupiter's heir is revealed. A kingdom in the balance. An arrow aimed at the heart of darkness. Who will take the shot?
-
-
“That was a great story.”
- By CW on 12-22-17
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Dragon and the Stone (The Dream Keeper Saga Book 1)
- The Dream Keeper Saga
- By: Kathryn Butler
- Narrated by: Shannon McManus
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Even though she's only 12 years old, Lily McKinley already feels the weight of the world's brokenness. She's seen it in her mother's exhaustion, her grandmother's illness, and the cruelty of Adam, the bully at her school. But most tragically, she experienced it two months ago when her father died in a terrible accident. As an artistic daydreamer, Lily has a brilliant imagination to help her cope, but that imagination often gets her into trouble. One day, it transports her to a fantasy world called the Somnium Realm, where her father's secret history embroils her in an epic quest.
-
-
Enjoyable
- By Chris Brenan on 04-02-25
By: Kathryn Butler
-
The Bark of the Bog Owl
- The Wilderking Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Rogers
- Narrated by: Jonathan Rogers
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
12-year-old Aidan Errolson, comes from a long line of adventurers. His grandparents were among the first settlers of Corenwald's Eastern Frontier. His father had been one of the kingdom's greatest warriors. Aidan, on the other hand, lives the quiet, comfortable life, of a nobleman's son. He never has any real adventures, and that, he believes, is the one great injustice of his otherwise happy life. All that will change the day he first hears the bark of the bog owl, and meets Dobro Turtlebane.
-
-
Our Family's New Favorite!
- By Charles Yates on 12-31-18
By: Jonathan Rogers
-
The Green Ember
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Joel Clarkson
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heather and Picket are extraordinary rabbits with ordinary lives until calamitous events overtake them, spilling them into a cauldron of misadventures. They discover that their own story is bound up in the tumult threatening to overwhelm the wider world.
-
-
Not Just for The Elementary Age Group
- By Chelle on 08-27-15
By: S. D. Smith
-
Adventures with Waffles
- By: Maria Parr, Guy Puzey - translator, Kate Forrester - illustrator
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hardly a day passes without Trille and Lena inventing some kind of adventure that often ends in trouble. Whether it's coaxing a cow onto a boat or tobogganing down the steepest and iciest hill with a chicken, there is always a thrill - and sometimes an injury - to be had. Trille loves to share everything with Lena, even Auntie Granny's waffles, which make everything just perfect. But when Lena has to move away, and Auntie Granny leaves the world, it sometimes seems nothing will ever be right again.
-
-
very fun!
- By AnotherCustomer on 06-28-20
By: Maria Parr, and others
-
A True Home
- Heartwood Hotel, Book 1
- By: Kallie George
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Mona the Mouse stumbles across the wondrous world of the Heartwood Hotel in the middle of a storm, she desperately hopes they'll let her stay. As it turns out, Mona is precisely the maid they need at the grandest hotel in Fernwood Forest, where animals come from far and wide for safety, luxury, and comfort. But the Heartwood Hotel is not all acorn souffles and soft moss-lined beds. Danger lurks, and as it approaches, Mona finds that this hotel is more than a warm place to spend the night. It might also be a home.
By: Kallie George
-
Nanny Piggins and the Origin Story
- Nanny Piggins, Book 6
- By: R.A. Spratt
- Narrated by: R.A Spratt
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A prequel story to The Adventures of Nanny Piggins.
-
-
Amazing
- By Anonymous User on 11-16-24
By: R.A. Spratt
-
Squirreled Away
- The Dead Sea Squirrels, Book 1
- By: Mike Nawrocki
- Narrated by: Mike Nawrocki
- Length: 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Mike Nawrocki, cocreator of VeggieTales, is back! In the first installment of this hilarious new chapter-book series, 10-year-old Michael and his friend Justin sneak into the Dead Sea caves near the archaeological dig where Michael’s dad is working. Michael finds two 2,000-year-old squirrels petrified in sea salt. Hijinks ensue as Michael tries to bring them back to the US, hidden in his backpack. What Michael thinks are just cool souvenirs may turn out to be something much more!
-
-
Great to engage readers and read by Mike Nawrocki, EVEN BETTER!
- By D. on 02-06-23
By: Mike Nawrocki
-
Understood Betsy
- By: Dorothy Canfield Fisher
- Narrated by: Anne Hancock
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Elizabeth Ann is being carefully brought up by her Aunt Frances. Aunt Frances shares in all Elizabeth Ann's fears and slights, walks her to and from school each day, and conscientiously follows the most modern theories on child-rearing. She is the original helicopter parent. Not surprisingly, at nine years old Elizabeth Ann is timid and shy, friendless, and completely dependent on her doting aunt. Then an emergency occurs, and the fearful little girl is temporarily sent to other relatives who live on a farm in Vermont.
-
-
Like a picnic on a warm spring day
- By Jo on 11-15-16
-
Carry On, Mr. Bowditch
- By: Jean Lee Latham, Jim Weiss
- Narrated by: Jim Weiss
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Winner of the American Library Association's 1956 Newberry Award! Carry On, Mr. Bowditch tells the inspiring, true adventures of Nat Bowditch, a boy during the American Revolution. Nat's passion for learning and his unstoppable spirit lead him from poverty and servitude to triumph and adventure at sea. Ultimately, Nat achieves everlasting fame for revolutionizing navigation, thus streamlining voyages and saving countless lives.
-
-
amazing view of Nats lifr
- By jennifer hilger on 09-06-24
By: Jean Lee Latham, and others
-
The Swamp Robber
- Sugar Creek Gang, Book 1
- By: Paul Hutchens
- Narrated by: Aimee Lilly
- Length: 2 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Sugar Creek Gang discovers a "disguise" hidden in a old tree. Does it belong to the bank robber hiding in the swamp? A mysterious map hidden near the tree proves to be even more exciting than the disguise. Before the adventure ends, the gang encounters the robber, helps Bill Collins welcome a new baby sister, and saves the victim of a black widow spider bite. Join the gang as they learn the lesson of sowing and reaping.
-
-
Love47
- By Amazon Customer on 07-18-20
By: Paul Hutchens
-
The God of the Garden
- Thoughts on Creation, Culture, and the Kingdom
- By: Andrew Peterson
- Narrated by: Andrew Peterson
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This book is in many ways a memoir, but it’s also an attempt to wake up the listener to the glory of God shining through his creation. One of the first commands to Adam and Eve was to “work and keep” the garden. Award-winning author and songwriter Andrew Peterson, being as honest as possible, shares a story of childhood, grief, redemption, and peace by walking through a forest of memories
-
-
Almost too good
- By Okra on 03-03-22
By: Andrew Peterson
-
Isobel Kuhn: On the Roof of the World
- By: Janet Benge, Geoff Benge
- Narrated by: Rebecca Gallagher
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a fourteen-year-old intent on living a “modern” life, the last thing Isobel Kuhn wanted to grow up to be was a missionary. But as it turned out, this young agnostic’s life was redirected―from crisis and doubt to hope and strength. Convinced that God wanted her to preach the gospel as a China Inland missionary, Isobel bravely served among the Lisu people in remote mountainous regions of China and Thailand. After twenty years of ministry Isobel returned to the United States, writing stirring stories of faith and inspiring generations of people
-
-
Compelling
- By soupy on 07-07-24
By: Janet Benge, and others
-
George Washington Carver: From Slave to Scientist
- By: Janet Benge, Geoff Benge
- Narrated by: Tim Gregory
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Once a kidnapped slave baby, George Washington Carver found freedom in learning everything he could about the world around him. Overcoming poverty and racism, George became a brilliant scientist and a gifted professor who dedicated his expertise to helping black farmers escape the devastating grip of poverty. George's scientific creativity knew no limits. His ingenious experimentation with peanuts and other plants helped rescue the failing Southern economy.
-
-
inspiring book
- By DIY manAmazon Customer on 04-20-16
By: Janet Benge, and others
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
The Found Boys
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Andy Harvey
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The mission was supposed to be fun—even funny—but things got serious quick. What follows is a daring journey with narrow escapes, attack dogs, deadly fires, and a friendship forged in shared peril. Three friends embark on an intrepid quest to retrieve a priceless treasure guarded by a menacing villain. But this is no fantasy. For Scott and his friends Tommy and Dooley, the danger is all too real. Unlikely heroes will emerge. Enemies will become allies. Powerful truths will be revealed.
-
-
Heart warming story about reconciliation and forgiveness
- By River Song on 11-09-24
By: S. D. Smith
-
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key
- By: S. D. Smith, J. C. Smith
- Narrated by: Zeno Robinson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key is an enchanting adventure in the tradition of Tolkien and Lewis, as well as Spielberg and Lucas. But this fantastical journey launches in rural West Virginia in the '80s, with a half-Appalachian, half-African kid trying to escape the town he sees defining his small, sad life. Jack discovers a gate hiding a city between 12 realms and finds out where he truly belongs in a surprising, satisfying adventure.
-
-
Another epic tale for a great author!!
- By Shell27 on 01-26-23
By: S. D. Smith, and others
-
The Black Star of Kingston
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 2 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A century before Heather and Picket's adventures in The Green Ember, a displaced community fights for hope on the ragged edge of survival. Whitson Mariner and Fleck Blackstar face old fears and new enemies, forging a legend that will echo through the ages.
-
-
An Enchanting Tale
- By BookWorm on 02-28-16
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Green Ember
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Joel Clarkson
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heather and Picket are extraordinary rabbits with ordinary lives until calamitous events overtake them, spilling them into a cauldron of misadventures. They discover that their own story is bound up in the tumult threatening to overwhelm the wider world.
-
-
Not Just for The Elementary Age Group
- By Chelle on 08-27-15
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Lost Key
- Green Ember: Lost Tales, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: S. D. Smith
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Picket, Heather, Jo, and your favorite Green Ember heroes are back for a thrilling new adventure. In the days after their arrival at Halfwind Citadel, the friends are caught up in a desperate fight for the cause when an internal conspiracy threatens to unravel the growing strength of rabbitkind’s resistance.
-
-
Disappointed
- By Jessica on 04-04-25
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Last Archer
- Green Ember Archer, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jo is a gifted archer with a burden on his back and a fire within. Eager to see the Longtreaders receive justice, he travels from his Halfwind Citadel home to a Cloud Mountain poised on the brink of war. What he finds there will confront his convictions and test his resolve as the war begins and King Jupiter's heir is revealed. A kingdom in the balance. An arrow aimed at the heart of darkness. Who will take the shot?
-
-
“That was a great story.”
- By CW on 12-22-17
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Found Boys
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Andy Harvey
- Length: 1 hr and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The mission was supposed to be fun—even funny—but things got serious quick. What follows is a daring journey with narrow escapes, attack dogs, deadly fires, and a friendship forged in shared peril. Three friends embark on an intrepid quest to retrieve a priceless treasure guarded by a menacing villain. But this is no fantasy. For Scott and his friends Tommy and Dooley, the danger is all too real. Unlikely heroes will emerge. Enemies will become allies. Powerful truths will be revealed.
-
-
Heart warming story about reconciliation and forgiveness
- By River Song on 11-09-24
By: S. D. Smith
-
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key
- By: S. D. Smith, J. C. Smith
- Narrated by: Zeno Robinson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jack Zulu and the Waylander's Key is an enchanting adventure in the tradition of Tolkien and Lewis, as well as Spielberg and Lucas. But this fantastical journey launches in rural West Virginia in the '80s, with a half-Appalachian, half-African kid trying to escape the town he sees defining his small, sad life. Jack discovers a gate hiding a city between 12 realms and finds out where he truly belongs in a surprising, satisfying adventure.
-
-
Another epic tale for a great author!!
- By Shell27 on 01-26-23
By: S. D. Smith, and others
-
The Black Star of Kingston
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 2 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A century before Heather and Picket's adventures in The Green Ember, a displaced community fights for hope on the ragged edge of survival. Whitson Mariner and Fleck Blackstar face old fears and new enemies, forging a legend that will echo through the ages.
-
-
An Enchanting Tale
- By BookWorm on 02-28-16
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Green Ember
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Joel Clarkson
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heather and Picket are extraordinary rabbits with ordinary lives until calamitous events overtake them, spilling them into a cauldron of misadventures. They discover that their own story is bound up in the tumult threatening to overwhelm the wider world.
-
-
Not Just for The Elementary Age Group
- By Chelle on 08-27-15
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Lost Key
- Green Ember: Lost Tales, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: S. D. Smith
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Picket, Heather, Jo, and your favorite Green Ember heroes are back for a thrilling new adventure. In the days after their arrival at Halfwind Citadel, the friends are caught up in a desperate fight for the cause when an internal conspiracy threatens to unravel the growing strength of rabbitkind’s resistance.
-
-
Disappointed
- By Jessica on 04-04-25
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Last Archer
- Green Ember Archer, Book 1
- By: S. D. Smith
- Narrated by: Eric Fritzius
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jo is a gifted archer with a burden on his back and a fire within. Eager to see the Longtreaders receive justice, he travels from his Halfwind Citadel home to a Cloud Mountain poised on the brink of war. What he finds there will confront his convictions and test his resolve as the war begins and King Jupiter's heir is revealed. A kingdom in the balance. An arrow aimed at the heart of darkness. Who will take the shot?
-
-
“That was a great story.”
- By CW on 12-22-17
By: S. D. Smith
-
The Bark of the Bog Owl
- The Wilderking Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Rogers
- Narrated by: Jonathan Rogers
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
12-year-old Aidan Errolson, comes from a long line of adventurers. His grandparents were among the first settlers of Corenwald's Eastern Frontier. His father had been one of the kingdom's greatest warriors. Aidan, on the other hand, lives the quiet, comfortable life, of a nobleman's son. He never has any real adventures, and that, he believes, is the one great injustice of his otherwise happy life. All that will change the day he first hears the bark of the bog owl, and meets Dobro Turtlebane.
-
-
Our Family's New Favorite!
- By Charles Yates on 12-31-18
By: Jonathan Rogers
-
The Dragon's Tooth
- Ashtown Burials #1
- By: N. D. Wilson
- Narrated by: Thomas Vincent Kelly
- Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For two years, Cyrus and Antigone Smith have run a sagging roadside motel with their older brother, Daniel. Nothing ever seems to happen. Then a strange old man with bone tattoos arrives, demanding a specific room. Less than 24 hours later, the old man is dead. The motel has burned, and Daniel is missing. And Cyrus and Antigone are kneeling in a crowded hall, swearing an oath to an order of explorers who have long served as caretakers of the world's secrets, keepers of powerful relics from lost civilizations, and jailers to unkillable criminals.
-
-
Great story - great narration
- By Nancy Stubbs on 11-07-11
By: N. D. Wilson
-
The Mysterious Howling
- The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place, Book 1
- By: Maryrose Wood
- Narrated by: Katherine Kellgren
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Of especially naughty children, it is sometimes said: “They must have been raised by wolves.” The Incorrigible children actually were. Discovered in the forests of Ashton Place, the Incorrigibles are no ordinary children: Alexander keeps his siblings in line with gentle nips; Cassiopeia has a bark that is (usually) worse than her bite; and Beowulf is alarmingly adept at chasing squirrels.
-
-
ALL BOOKS ARE JUDGED BY THEIR COVER UNTIL THEY ARE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-04-15
By: Maryrose Wood
-
Beyond Mulberry Glen
- By: Millie Florence
- Narrated by: Lyssa Browne
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Eleven-year-old Lydia Green doesn’t want anything to change. She lives happily in Mulberry Glen with her mismatched family of a fairy guardian, a philosopher, and twin troublemakers known as the Zs. But now, rumors swirl about The Darkness, a powerful force that dwells in the forest Tenebrae. Lydia knows The Darkness is nothing to be trifled with, but when a foolish choice by the Zs puts her family in danger, she must leave home and face the strange magical world of The Valleylands.
-
-
Great story!! But chapter 4 and 8 were out of order
- By Jill on 02-12-25
By: Millie Florence
-
Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes
- The Vanished Kingdom, Book 1
- By: Jonathan Auxier
- Narrated by: Michael Page
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes is the utterly beguiling tale of a ten-year-old blind orphan who has been forced into a life of crime. One fateful afternoon, Peter steals a mysterious box that contains three magical pairs of eyes. When he tries the first pair, he is instantly transported to a hidden island where he is presented with a special quest: to travel beyond the known world and rescue a lost kingdom from its treacherous ruler....
-
-
Enjoyable listen but not for the youngest kids
- By Marie on 12-10-15
By: Jonathan Auxier
-
Adventures with Waffles
- By: Maria Parr, Guy Puzey - translator, Kate Forrester - illustrator
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 3 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hardly a day passes without Trille and Lena inventing some kind of adventure that often ends in trouble. Whether it's coaxing a cow onto a boat or tobogganing down the steepest and iciest hill with a chicken, there is always a thrill - and sometimes an injury - to be had. Trille loves to share everything with Lena, even Auntie Granny's waffles, which make everything just perfect. But when Lena has to move away, and Auntie Granny leaves the world, it sometimes seems nothing will ever be right again.
-
-
very fun!
- By AnotherCustomer on 06-28-20
By: Maria Parr, and others
-
Outlaws of Time: The Legend of Sam Miracle
- By: N. D. Wilson
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sam Miracle's life is made up of dreams - dreams where he's a courageous, legendary hero instead of a foster kid with two bad arms that can barely move. Sometimes these dreams feel so real, they seem like forgotten memories. And sometimes they make him believe that his arms might come alive again. But Sam is about to discover that the world he knows and the world he imagines are separated by only one thing: time. And that separation is only an illusion.
-
-
Great writing, fun story
- By BC on 07-01-16
By: N. D. Wilson
-
The Dragon and the Stone (The Dream Keeper Saga Book 1)
- The Dream Keeper Saga
- By: Kathryn Butler
- Narrated by: Shannon McManus
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Even though she's only 12 years old, Lily McKinley already feels the weight of the world's brokenness. She's seen it in her mother's exhaustion, her grandmother's illness, and the cruelty of Adam, the bully at her school. But most tragically, she experienced it two months ago when her father died in a terrible accident. As an artistic daydreamer, Lily has a brilliant imagination to help her cope, but that imagination often gets her into trouble. One day, it transports her to a fantasy world called the Somnium Realm, where her father's secret history embroils her in an epic quest.
-
-
Enjoyable
- By Chris Brenan on 04-02-25
By: Kathryn Butler
-
The Beginning
- The Secret of the Hidden Scrolls, Book 1
- By: M. J. Thomas
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the first adventure in the series, Peter and Mary find themselves witnesses to the creation of the world just as God is speaking it into existence. Can they unlock the mystery of the scrolls before they get trapped in history forever? Children will discover the answer as the two characters ride rhinos, meet the angel Michael, and talk to a certain snake in the Garden of Eden.
-
-
Kid Approved!
- By ImABeliever on 04-06-19
By: M. J. Thomas
-
Mystery in Rocky Mountain National Park
- National Park Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Aaron Johnson
- Narrated by: Aaron Johnson
- Length: 4 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Jake’s grandfather died, he was on the trail of a centuries-old mystery. And he has entrusted that mystery to Jake, leaving behind a set of hidden codes, riddles, maps, and other clues that lead Jake and his friends on a scavenger hunt into the heart of Colorado’s wild and rugged Rocky Mountain National Park.
-
-
My family LOVED this book!
- By Nathan Craig on 12-06-22
By: Aaron Johnson
-
Once a Queen
- By: Sarah Arthur
- Narrated by: Shakira Shute, Sarah Arthur
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When fourteen-year-old American Eva Joyce unexpectedly finds herself spending the summer at the mysterious manor house of the English grandmother she’s never met, she soon discovers that her family, the manor staff, and even the house itself are hiding secrets.
-
-
Highly recommend!
- By Victoria Still on 08-22-24
By: Sarah Arthur
-
A True Home
- Heartwood Hotel, Book 1
- By: Kallie George
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Mona the Mouse stumbles across the wondrous world of the Heartwood Hotel in the middle of a storm, she desperately hopes they'll let her stay. As it turns out, Mona is precisely the maid they need at the grandest hotel in Fernwood Forest, where animals come from far and wide for safety, luxury, and comfort. But the Heartwood Hotel is not all acorn souffles and soft moss-lined beds. Danger lurks, and as it approaches, Mona finds that this hotel is more than a warm place to spend the night. It might also be a home.
By: Kallie George
What listeners say about Mooses with Bazookas
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kathryn E.
- 10-08-24
I'm pretty confident that I like it
5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐s my family and me laugh so hard when
this play5⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ p.s southy is my favorite part in the book
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Meg
- 06-01-24
Awesome!
S.D. Smith has done it again!! It is fabulously funny and I love it!! I was hoping for the next Jack Zulu book to come out next but this one is just as good!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Sarah H
- 03-09-24
So much fun
Five stars! One for every kid who laughed the whole time.
I am going to put this in my memoirs.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kristen
- 02-27-24
Kids say "It's Hilarious!"
My kids loved Wally Warmbottom and his hilarious letters and play on words. Mooses in Bazookas was silly, funny, and overall entertaining. The only story we didn't care for was the one about the dog and the rocket, because the kids didn't get it, and wished that it was read differently.
Otherwise, the performance was just awesome!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kailan Boland
- 05-24-24
Silly. That’s all I can say
I could (and have) listened to this over and over again. I wish I could leave 92545519045291540154901549015401063015945294529469163926 stars.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 10-24-24
this is a funny book.
Moses with bazooka was my favorite. rocket and Elsie and Rocket on the other hand...
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- J Hill
- 03-21-24
I like bazookas so i tried this book out and i got hooked.
Why should you not read it? Because it has guns and bazookas says Wally Warmbottom, but i disagree,all children should read this book (or books). But you should know something. IT IS SUPER SILLY. I love this book 5 stars. Plus 500 more
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Susan M.
- 06-27-24
Everything was so funny! When we read this, I could not stop laughing!
Infinite stars! S. D. Is so funny and I love how interactive he is with his readers.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 01-12-25
Walle wam doterm
I love the way the book was filled with more books and how much of it is funny
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Luke Murphy
- 02-23-24
How funny this was to my kids and myself
Thank you so much for writing this. We I've been able to gather around this book and laugh. My 6 and 7 year old giggle at the quote "Of course you don't care because all you care about is essential oils" 😆
We will be enjoying this book for years to come
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful