
Losing Ourselves
Learning to Live Without a Self
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Narrated by:
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Eric Meyers
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By:
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Jay L. Garfield
About this listen
This audiobook narrated by Eric Meyers reveals why you don’t have a self—and why that’s a good thing
In Losing Ourselves, Jay Garfield, a leading expert on Buddhist philosophy, offers a brief and radically clear account of an idea that at first might seem frightening but that promises to liberate us and improve our lives, our relationships, and the world. Drawing on Indian and East Asian Buddhism, Daoism, Western philosophy, and cognitive neuroscience, Garfield shows why it is perfectly natural to think you have a self—and why it actually makes no sense at all and is even dangerous. Most importantly, he explains why shedding the illusion that you have a self can make you a better person.
Examining a wide range of arguments for and against the existence of the self, Losing Ourselves makes the case that there are not only good philosophical and scientific reasons to deny the reality of the self, but that we can lead healthier social and moral lives if we understand that we are selfless persons. The book describes why the Buddhist idea of no-self is so powerful and why it has immense practical benefits, helping us to abandon egoism, act more morally and ethically, be more spontaneous, perform more expertly, and navigate ordinary life more skillfully. Getting over the self-illusion also means escaping the isolation of self-identity and becoming a person who participates with others in the shared enterprise of life.
The result is a transformative book about why we have nothing to lose—and everything to gain—by losing our selves.
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Critic reviews
"Popular books on the illusion of self tend to be crass and sensationalist, the academic ones dull and turgid. Jay L. Garfield has successfully followed the less trodden middle way. As a result, the promise of losing yourself in a book has never been more literal."—Julian Baggini, Times Literary Supplement
“Wise, useful, and surprising, this is a remarkable and brave exploration of selflessness and personhood by the brilliant Buddhist scholar and philosopher Jay Garfield. It is a book for our time, when the author opens for the reader the ethical implications of selflessness, and, to quote him, ‘what it means for our understanding of our place in the world.’ A wonderful book.”—Roshi Joan Halifax, Zen Buddhist teacher and author of Being with Dying
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Story
In his best-selling book No Self, No Problem: How Neuropsychology Is Catching Up to Buddhism, Professor Chris Niebauer explored the incredible link between Eastern philosophy and recent findings in neuropsychology, which is now confirming a fundamental tenet of Buddhism: anatta, or the doctrine of “no self.”
By: Chris Niebauer
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No Self, No Problem
- How Neuropsychology is Catching Up to Buddhism
- By: Chris Niebauer PhD
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking audiobook, neuropsychology professor Chris Niebauer explains how after decades of research on the brain, Western science may have inadvertently confirmed a fundamental tenet of Buddhism: anatta, or the doctrine of "no self". Niebauer shows how findings in neuropsychology suggest that our sense of self is actually an illusion created by the left side of the brain and that it exists in the same way a mirage in the middle of the desert exists: as a thought rather than a thing.
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Everyone should be reading this!
- By Mary Lou on 01-02-20
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Right Concentration
- A Practical Guide to the Jhanas
- By: Leigh Brasington
- Narrated by: Jamison Walker
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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The jhānas are eight progressive altered states of consciousness that can be identified with the aspect of the Buddha’s Eightfold Path called Right Concentration. Training in concentration leads to these states, each of which yields a deeper and subtler state of awareness than the previous one. The jhānas are not in themselves awakening, but they are a skillful means for stilling the mind in a way that leads in that direction, and they are attainable by anyone who devotes the time and sincerity of practice necessary to realize them.
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great overview
- By Sam on 08-01-23
By: Leigh Brasington
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Opening the Hand of Thought
- Foundations of Zen Buddhist Practice
- By: Kosho Uchiyama, Tom Wright - editor translator, Jisho Warner - editor translator, and others
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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For over 30 years, Opening the Hand of Thought has offered an introduction to Zen Buddhism and meditation unmatched in clarity and power. This is the revised edition of Kosho Uchiyama's singularly incisive classic. This new edition contains even more useful material: new prefaces, an index, and extended endnotes, in addition to a revised glossary.
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One of the best books on Zazen
- By Otto Hannah on 09-07-23
By: Kosho Uchiyama, and others
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The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition
- By: Daniel N. Robinson, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Daniel N. Robinson
- Length: 30 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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Grasp the important ideas that have served as the backbone of philosophy across the ages with this extraordinary 60-lecture series. This is your opportunity to explore the enormous range of philosophical perspectives and ponder the most important and enduring of human questions-without spending your life poring over dense philosophical texts.
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A Hard Review to Write
- By Ark1836 on 11-20-15
By: Daniel N. Robinson, and others
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Chöd
- The Sacred Teachings on Severance: Essential Teachings of the Eight Practice Lineages of Tibet, Volume 14
- By: Jamgon Kongtrul, Sarah Harding
- Narrated by: Tom Pile
- Length: 18 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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The Treasury of Precious Instructions by Jamgön Kongtrul Lodrö Taye, one of Tibet's greatest Buddhist masters, is a shining jewel of Tibetan literature, presenting essential teachings from the entire spectrum of practice lineages that existed in Tibet. In its 18 volumes, Kongtrul brings together some of the most important texts on key topics of Buddhist thought and practice as well as authoring significant new sections of his own.
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Not happy with the poor pronunciation :
- By Wolfgang on 07-02-17
By: Jamgon Kongtrul, and others
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The Ego Tunnel
- The Science of the Mind and the Myth of the Self
- By: Thomas Metzinger
- Narrated by: Kevin Pariseau
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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We're used to thinking about the self as an independent entity, something that we either have or are. In The Ego Tunnel, philosopher Thomas Metzinger claims otherwise: No such thing as a self exists. The conscious self is the content of a model created by our brain - an internal image, but one we cannot experience as an image. Everything we experience is "a virtual self in a virtual reality." But if the self is not "real," why and how did it evolve? How does the brain construct it?
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non-specialist literature at its best
- By Esmeralda on 03-17-10
By: Thomas Metzinger
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Peaceful Heart
- The Buddhist Practice of Patience
- By: Dzigar Kongtrul
- Narrated by: Joseph Waxman
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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An introductory guide to cultivating patience and opening your heart to difficult circumstances from leading Buddhist teacher Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche.
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Sound Advice on the Practice of Patience
- By Edward A. Dickey on 02-23-21
By: Dzigar Kongtrul
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The Case Against Reality
- Why Evolution Hid the Truth from Our Eyes
- By: Donald Hoffman
- Narrated by: Timothy Andrés Pabon
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Challenging leading scientific theories that claim that our senses report back objective reality, cognitive scientist Donald Hoffman argues that while we should take our perceptions seriously, we should not take them literally. How can it be possible that the world we see is not objective reality? And how can our senses be useful if they are not communicating the truth? Hoffman grapples with these questions and more over the course of this eye-opening work.
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Don't buy - visual examples missing, no pdf
- By Richard Pickett on 08-26-19
By: Donald Hoffman
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The Non-Existence of the Real World
- By: Jan Westerhoff
- Narrated by: Liam Gerrard
- Length: 14 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Does the real world, defined as a world of objects that exist independent of human interests, concerns, and cognitive activities, really exist? Jan Westerhoff argues that we have good reason to believe it does not. His discussion considers four main facets of the idea of the real world, ranging from the existence of a separate external and internal world (comprising various mental states congregated around a self), to the existence of an ontological foundation that grounds the existence of all the entities in the world.
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Excellent
- By PWK on 01-15-24
By: Jan Westerhoff
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The Art of Transforming the Mind
- A Meditator's Guide to the Tibetan Practice of Lojong
- By: B. Alan Wallace
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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In this book, B. Alan Wallace explains a fundamental type of mental training that is designed to shift our attitudes so that our minds become pure wellsprings of joy instead of murky pools of problems, anxieties, fleeting pleasures, hopes, and frustrations. The lojong—or mind-training—teachings have been the subject of profound study, contemplation, and commentary by many great masters. Wallace shows us the way to develop our capacity for spiritual awareness through his relatable and practical commentary on the mind-training slogans.
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Not as good as I was hoping it would be
- By Diomedes on 01-18-23
By: B. Alan Wallace
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Ways of Attending
- How Our Divided Brain Constructs the World
- By: Iain McGilchrist
- Narrated by: Mike Fraser
- Length: 1 hr
- Unabridged
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Attention is not just receptive, but actively creative of the world we inhabit. How we attend makes all the difference to the world we experience. And nowadays in the West we generally attend in a rather unusual way: governed by the narrowly focused, target-driven left hemisphere of the brain.
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K.I.S.S.
- By Anonymous User on 03-27-25
By: Iain McGilchrist
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If Only I'd Known!
- How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth
- By: Chelsey Brooke Cole
- Narrated by: Chelsey Brooke Cole
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Narcissistic abuse creates a tidal wave of confusion, hypervigilance, and overthinking. You have trouble thinking clearly, remembering things, or taking in new information. And because these changes are happening to you, you begin to wonder: What's wrong with me? Why can't I make this relationship work? Am I fundamentally broken? And that's exactly how narcissistic abuse works—it happens so subtly that you believe the insecurities you're experiencing are "you" instead of "what's happening" to you. This audiobook covers unique information related to narcissistic abuse.
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This book is amazing.
- By Juan Servin on 01-03-24
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The Ikigai Journey
- A Practical Guide to Finding Happiness and Purpose the Japanese Way
- By: Hector Garcia, Francesc Miralles
- Narrated by: Geoff McIntyre
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Ikigai is the place where our passion (what we love), mission (what we hope to contribute), vocation (the gifts we have to offer the world) and profession (how our passions and talents can become a livelihood) converge, giving us a personal sense of meaning. This book helps you bring together all of these elements so that you can enjoy a balanced life.
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very odd choices of example stories throughout
- By Kayla on 10-21-24
By: Hector Garcia, and others
What listeners say about Losing Ourselves
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- Interdimtraveller
- 09-19-24
We are all interconnected.
This is a thought provoking book, humanity needs to overhaul the paradigm. The left braincentric ego driven civilization of the west needs to wake up and realize we're all in this together.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Kyle Dickison
- 05-23-24
noself brought to light
this book was great if you have ever struggled with comprehending the philosophy of noself.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Paula M. Toth
- 06-15-24
Makes sense
The idea of being a socially enacted person is being no-self. I really enjoyed this sensible way of coating what and who we are.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-29-23
Best Explanation and Integration of Non-Dualism
I’ve never heard such a clear and concise explanation of non-duality in practice. Garfield’s understanding of Western and Asian philosophy is a great benefit. After nearly a month of listening time to date, this is the best book I’ve listened to on Audible by far.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Dmitry Sarkisyan
- 05-22-24
Clear and approachable
Selflessness can be a hefty subject, but in this book it presented in a clear and easy to understand way. I also liked that the author also explains why it matters in every day life. Highly recommended!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Joshua Schmidt
- 01-18-23
Important and accessible
This is the most thorough and comprehensible work on the topic of selflessness I've come across. The audiobook was a joy to listen to. Thank you Jay Garfield and Eric Meyers.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Shady
- 12-13-22
Amazing!
Jay is in full form on this one! A read that may change the way in which you perceive all of reality.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Laimis
- 03-01-24
Losing the self
I purchased the book as I’ve heard an interview of the author with Sam Harris. The conversation left an impression on me, so I was glad to find an audiobook book by Jay Garfield.
Note - I found a few chapters in the middle of the book to be numbing. The philosophical refutation of different views of the self was challenging to digest, having passing knowledge of the differing philosophical arguments about the subject matter.
However, having familiarity with non-dual practice, the chapters on ethics and values were invaluable. I purchased a paperback version of the book to go over slowly at my own pace.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Dave
- 01-27-23
Understanding “not having a self”
This is a wonderful concise synthesis for those wrestling with the concept of selflessness. I found it to be extremely helpful to get oriented to the topic. Jay Garfield successfully helps to square eastern empiric/intellectual wisdom with the modern “western” societal and scientific advances in a very accessible way to layman like myself. It is an intellectual framework that can assist in meditation practice and has applications to many other subjects. The voice actor is excellent. Great job.
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2 people found this helpful
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- DBK
- 12-22-22
Clear and comprehensive
Thank you Jay Garfield! You have an amazing ability to explain these complex and counter intuitive insights in such a clear and comprehensive manny. I will recommend this book to other persons.
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