Lies My Mother Told Me
The World According to Joan
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Narrated by:
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Melissa Rivers
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By:
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Melissa Rivers
About this listen
If you think Joan Rivers said funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things onstage, wait 'til you hear the funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things she said offstage...things that will make you laugh out loud...and keep Melissa in therapy for the foreseeable future. The only thing my mother loved more than making people laugh was lying...or as she'd say, "embellishing." Her motto was: "Why let the truth ruin a good story?" This book contains some of those stories.
©2022 Melissa Rivers (P)2022 Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl
- Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie
- By: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Narrated by: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Jaime Primak Sullivan, a Jersey-bred, tough-as-nails PR maven - and unlikely transplant in an upscale suburb of Birmingham, Alabama - has spent her entire life crossing the line: whether she's pushing the boundaries of what proper Southern ladies consider to be "polite behavior" or literally traversing the Mason-Dixon line in the name of love. She isn't afraid to say what everyone is thinking when it comes to love, sex, friendship, and many other topics that are all too often sugar-coated in polite Southern company.
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Awesome book
- By Gwendolyn on 09-23-16
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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A Fine Romance
- By: Candice Bergen
- Narrated by: Candice Bergen
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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A Fine Romance begins with Bergen's charming first husband, French director Louis Malle, whose huge appetite for life broadened her horizons and whose occasional darkness never diminished their love for each other. But her real romance begins when she discovers overpowering love for her daughter after years of ambivalence about motherhood.
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up the speed to 1.5 and Candace sounds way better
- By Susan M. Mitchell on 06-03-15
By: Candice Bergen
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Viciously honest, candid, sad, fascintating!
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Picking up where her successful autobiography Enter Talking left off, Joan Rivers delivers a searing and funny account—as only she can—of private tragedy, a public fall from grace, and triumph against all odds. In Still Talking, Joan opens up about her rise to the top, dishes on fellow celebrities, and recounts the end of her treasured friendship with mentor Johnny Carson. Still Talking details Joan's courageous battle with life's obstacles and how she overcame the terrible circumstances that plagued her, surviving it all through laughter.
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Have you always been fascinated by the morbid side of Hollywood? Did you cut your teeth on books like Hollywood Babylon, and shows like Mysteries And Scandals? This book promises to deliver all the salacious details about the stars you remember, not for their films, but for their tragic short lives. What really happened to Natalie Wood aboard The Splendor that cold November night? Was Jayne Mansfield really decapitated? Just how decadent were the days of the silent movies? Maybe you think you've heard it all? Trust me, you haven't! Chock full of new details, shocking photos and even a ...
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WOW!!!
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Unprotected
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It’s easy to be yourself when who and what you are is in vogue. But growing up Black and gay in America has never been easy. Before Billy Porter was slaying red carpets and giving an iconic performance in the celebrated TV show Pose; before he was the Tony Award-winning star of Broadway’s Kinky Boots; and before he was an acclaimed recording artist, actor, playwright, and all-around diva, Porter was a young boy who didn’t fit in.
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What listeners say about Lies My Mother Told Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dr Joseph Borreggine
- 12-06-22
Why would she lie?
An interesting look into the life of Joan Rivers through her daughter’s eyes. A book full of tall tales that were contrived by Joan Rivers to soothe Melissa’s curiosity not only as child growing up with one of the greatest comediennes of our time, but to also entertain not only her daughter, but the reader as well. An excellent fast read full of comedic anecdotal stories about everything according to Joan for all to enjoy!
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- Rita
- 05-11-22
Loved the book
It made me laugh. I really enjoyed the book. Two thumbs up to Melissa Rivers for writing the book reading it. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I highly recommend it.
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- Aimee Leon
- 10-25-22
A Must Read..
I loved this audiobook from beginning to the end. Melissa Rivers has done a lovely job in narrating it and a terrific homage to her mother. Joan Rivers was a true comic legend, & is dearly missed.
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- Sean
- 04-14-22
If your a fan of Joan’s stories then you’ll enjoy the listen.
Written very much in the style of Joan’s “Diary of a Mad Diva” book. Funny listen and Melissa’s story telling can put a joke in Joan fashion for the listener.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Angela Smitherman
- 05-23-23
Hilarious
Loved this book from beginning to end. Melissa is hilarious. Have listened 4x now FUNNY
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- Kristopher's Korner
- 05-22-22
A fun book to make you smile
This is a fun book that makes at least smile if not laugh out laud. I hope Melissa write a memoir some day for real.
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1 person found this helpful
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- David Ollie
- 07-06-22
Melissa is amazing!
To Melissa, “Was great hearing about your son and you dear mother!” Loved it! I hope to hear more from Melissa in the future.
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- Jeff T Allen
- 11-02-24
Humorous and Heartfelt!
I loved everything about this book. Kudos Melissa! The dynamics of mother and daughter made me reflect upon my own growing up Catholic. Thank you for sharing the laughter and love.
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- Mal
- 04-16-22
Oh no! Sooooo bad!
This is sad, rushed, full of tired quips.. Trying to copy her mothers sharpe witted humor, the author fails. I’m only 30 minutes in but I find it very tedious. I’ll give it another 30 minutes but if it doesn’t improve I’ll need to return it. The sad attempts at humor are just tedious and the attempts at mimicking her mothers humor fail. All my opinion of course. There’s also an element of sarcasm which is unflattering and tired.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Julie Lane
- 05-05-22
Melissa has Joan’s sense of humor
Very entertaining and a quick listen. If you loved Joan Rivers sense of humor, you will enjoy this. A nice change of pace from all the political books that consume me.
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