
In Each Other's Care
A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them
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About this listen
Break the Cycle: A Comprehensive Guide to Overcome Chronic Relationship Struggles
Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. Playing out the same disagreement about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted, cut off from the person you want to feel close to. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each Other's Care, Stan Tatkin shares a hands-on repair manual that will help you discover how arguments get triggered, why they keep happening, and what you can do to get better at communicating what you want without the drama.
Drawing on his vast experience as a couples therapist, Tatkin uses the concept of secure functioning—a two-person psychological system of teamwork, full collaboration, and cooperation based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity. This form of unionizing “takes time to learn,” Tatkin says. “And still, the rewards are awesome and make the effort worthwhile. Secure functioning benefits you, your partner, your family, your friends, everything, and everyone.”
Throughout In Each Other’s Care, Tatkin offers targeted lessons, sample dialogues, and heartfelt wisdom. Through this life-changing practice, you will be able to:
• Identify the source of unhappiness in your relationship
• Learn techniques for preventing problems before they occur
• Heal the emotional wounds of the past
• Transform conflict and struggle into win-win outcomes
• Renew broken connections and return to intimacy
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for years or are just beginning the journey, In Each Other’s Care is a wonderfully supportive guide that will show you how to work through even the most contentious topics with compassion and respect.
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Critic reviews
“Reading Stan Tatkin is like listening to your favorite wise uncle armed with the latest developments in brain research. Smart, practical, blessedly specific, In Each Other’s Care asks: What would our relationships be like if we remembered, even in stressful moments, that we are actually in a relationship? When we feel threatened, we lose each other and revert to I, me, mine—forgetting, that our very well-being depends on the emotional ecosystem we’re a part of. Stan reminds us that taking care of one another, of our union, is taking care of ourselves. He offers actionable tools, like how to speak up and care for your partner at the same time. This book is a revolution. It has the power to transform your relationship and your life.” —Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us and founder of the Relational Life Institute
“Since, as couples, we are ‘in each other’s care’ and since, according to the author, we are all difficult to live with, it makes sense that we need a guide to help us take care of each other. And that is what Stan Tatkin, a relationship scholar and seasoned therapist, has provided. If you find yourself in one or several of the conflict scenarios he has provided, you have a ready-to-hand guide for its resolution. If you do not find yourself there, the solution process applies anyway, and we encourage you to use it. We recommend this book to all couples for achieving their optimal care of each other.” —Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, authors of Getting the Love You Want
“If your partnership needs a visit to the repair shop, read this book. With Tatkin’s wisdom and experience, your complaints may finally come to rest and you’ll be laughing together again. People in happy partnerships live over five years longer. Tatkin may even extend your life!” —Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Anatomy of Love and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute
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Overall
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Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their life, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin - author of Wired for Love - offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.
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Title is misleading
- By tfarmer on 06-10-18
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Love Sense
- The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Narrated by: Dr. Sue Johnson
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" - our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival.
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No real tips on HOW to become more securely attach
- By Sophia on 11-10-15
By: Dr. Sue Johnson
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Emotional Intimacy
- A Comprehensive Guide for Connecting with the Power of Your Emotions
- By: Robert Augustus Masters PhD
- Narrated by: Mr. Jarrod Davis
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Despite being one of the most elemental parts of ourselves, emotions can be confused and unnerving as they arise. In Emotional Intimacy, renowned therapist Robert Augustus Masters will show you how to manage anger, experience new depths of feeling, heal old wounds, and much more. An unabridged audiobook.
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Love the wisdom and insight!!
- By Kara on 08-25-23
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Healing Your Attachment Wounds
- How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
- By: Diane Poole Heller
- Narrated by: Diane Poole Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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From our earliest years, teaches Diane Poole Heller, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our intimate relationships, with our children, and at work. And traumatic events can deeply affect that core relational blueprint. With Healing Your Attachment Wounds, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution brings together these two fields to help us understand and benefit from their complementary principles and methods.
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u mean i’m not doomed to self inflicted suffocating loneliness?
- By SidVid on 01-20-20
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Us
- Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real, Bruce Springsteen
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools. In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results.
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I preferred Fierce Intimacy
- By Jose on 06-23-22
By: Terrence Real
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Attachment in the Practice of Psychotherapy
- Relational Transformation, Nonverbal Experience, and the Psychology of the Therapist
- By: David Wallin PhD
- Narrated by: David Wallin
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
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Attachment theory has revolutionized our understanding of early development, the internal world, and human relationships. For therapists, this theory does even more than provide new insights into our clients’ needs and challenges. Dr. Wallin provides a how-to workshop for integrating the invaluable principles of attachment theory into our professional practice and personal lives. This eight-session audio course delves into the crux of attachment theory in order to bring to light concrete, real-world applications for day-to-day practice as a clinician.
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Excellent!
- By CynInAz on 12-18-22
By: David Wallin PhD
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Loving You Is Hurting Me
- A New Approach to Healing Trauma Bonds and Creating Authentic Connection
- By: Laura Copley
- Narrated by: Laura Copley, Donna Jay Fulks
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Too often, survivors of trauma are left feeling hopeless, exiled from normal social interactions, and destined for heartbreak in any relationship they attract. Through her work with clients, and her own experiences, Dr. Copley developed a roadmap for healing the toxic emotions that come from being bonded by trauma in relationships. In Loving You is Hurting Me, Dr. Copley guides you through your trauma origins and into a life rich with meaning, loving connection, and inspiration.
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Easy to grasp & actually interesting
- By Bryanna Sniadecki on 11-30-23
By: Laura Copley
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Take Charge of Your Life
- The 12 Master Skills for Success
- By: Brian Tracy
- Narrated by: Michael Tracy
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the hallmark's of Brian Tracy's philosophy is that you are 100% responsible for the results in your life. While Brian Tracy has discussed this philosophy since the 1980's, it is increasingly out of place in our current cultural moment. Today there are numerous voices telling you that any of your struggles or challenges are due to other people or societal conditions that are beyond your control. But, as you'll hear in this life-changing book, the philosophy of complaint and "blaming others" is ultimately a dead-end path that leads to despair.
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GOAL SETTING
- By Tyson Alfons on 08-09-24
By: Brian Tracy
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Fight Right
- How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
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Excellent summary of their research
- By Robert B. Davis on 02-28-24
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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Fierce Intimacy
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Terrence Real
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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Terry Real has emerged as one of the most innovative teachers on relationships today, whose groundbreaking workshops and books have helped men and women everywhere build healthier, more open, and deeper bonds. With Fierce Intimacy, he presents a complete audio training in essential communication skills for couples - including the Five Losing Strategies that lead to unhealthy conflict and the Five Winning Strategies that help us become more connected, protected, and committed to lasting love.
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If you can pick the gold out of the fat phobia, it’s gold.
- By Danae Duby on 09-30-19
By: Terrence Real
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Hold Me Tight
- Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
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No PDFs
- By Michelle Johann on 09-11-20
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Attachment Theory in Practice
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families
- By: Susan M. Johnson EdD
- Narrated by: Mary Conway
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Drawing on cutting-edge research on adult attachment—and providing an innovative roadmap for clinical practice—Susan M. Johnson argues that psychotherapy is most effective when it focuses on the healing power of emotional connection.
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Disappointing
- By Pink Amy on 12-18-24
What listeners say about In Each Other's Care
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-17-24
Stan is a genius therapist
I read every book multiple times.
I had an aha moment after reading relationship RX .
Stan changed my life.
I now consider my self a recovering avoidant!
I am married and we read these books separately and together,
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- Tyler
- 01-28-25
required reading
mind blowing perspective shift. for anyone wondering why relationships are hard. gives a practical structure for every relationship to strive towards that makes your relationship functional. most problems are not caused by the thing your brain latches onto first.
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- Phil H
- 07-04-23
I love Tatkin’s work and message.
Highly recommended for couples at any stage of their development. Best to be read often and practiced daily.
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1 person found this helpful
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- KL
- 12-26-23
Favorite relationship book ever
In depth exploration of relational dynamics with practical application! Stan’s best yet, and actually the best relationship book I’ve ever read.
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- amapolasygolondrinas
- 01-28-24
Practico y profundamente interactivo
Inspirador 100% didáctico , una joya para pareja y terapeutas . El enfoque PACT es lo más respetuoso y sistémico que conozco
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- SpendingMoneyIsFun
- 05-08-23
Super practical explanation and guidance
Dr. Tatkin dives deeper into what were all most conflicted about in relationships—conflict—in his most recent book. By far the best breakdown of how it happens and how to fix it that I’ve ever heard.
The actor vignettes are better and more instructive in this book than in his Relationship Rx book in my opinion. They sound more realistic, better performed, and more clearly explained and analyzed.
So glad that Stan narrated this book himself. He is able to give his work much more meaning through his own voice.
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1 person found this helpful
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- SoCalGal
- 11-10-23
Our Relationship Benefited Greatly
This book helped to deepen our shared purpose, values and principles. And clean up a bunch of bad habits! We are a stronger union and feel we can withstand together whatever life brings us.
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- Wahkeena Sitka
- 06-24-23
Stan's best work yet.
I honestly think that this book is the ultimate relationship manual for every single couple or partnership on the planet that wants to work through the challenges and difficulties. I am so impressed with this book. I'm definitely going to listen to it multiple times. there's so much wisdom and I feel like I have a better understanding of my own shortcomings in terms of intimate partnership relationships. The challenge is trying to create a relationship where two people are on board with this philosophy.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Shelly Lynott
- 06-21-23
A Blue-Print and Repair Manual for relationships
If all relationships started with this straightforward and clear understanding and agreement, they would experience less fear, hurt, betrayal, aggravation, and loss. I will continue recommending this to all my clients, family, and friends.
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1 person found this helpful