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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
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Publisher's summary
That same spring, Janine Latus was struggling to leave her marriage - a marriage to a handsome and successful man. A marriage others emulated. A marriage in which she felt she could do nothing right and everything wrong. A marriage in which she felt afraid, controlled, inadequate, and trapped.
Ten weeks later, Janine Latus had left her marriage. She was on a business trip to the East Coast, savoring her freedom, attending a work conference, when she received a call from her sister Jane asking if she'd heard from Amy. Immediately, Janine's blood ran cold. Amy was missing.
Helicopters went up and search dogs went out. Coworkers and neighbors and family members plastered missing posters with Amy's picture across the county. It took more than two weeks to find Amy's body, wrapped in a tarpaulin and buried at a building site. It took nearly two years before her killer, her former boyfriend Ron Ball, was sentenced for her murder.
Amy died in silent fear and pain. Haunted by this, Janine Latus turned her journalistic eye inward. How, she wondered, did two seemingly well-adjusted, successful women end up in strings of physically or emotionally abusive relationships with men? If I Am Missing or Dead is a heart-wrenching journey of discovery as Janine Latus traces the roots of her own, and her sister's, victimization with unflinching candor.
Critic reviews
"Unforgettable, unsentimental, and profoundly affecting, Latus' book resonates long after the final page is turned." (Publishers Weekly)
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Ramona was only five years old when Hurricane Katrina changed her life forever. Since then it's been Ramona and her family against the world. Standing over six feet tall, with unmistakable blue hair, Ramona is sure of three things: She likes girls, she's fiercely devoted to her family, and she knows she's destined for something bigger than the trailer she calls home in Eulogy, Mississippi. But juggling multiple jobs, her flaky mom, and her well-meaning but ineffectual dad forces her to be the adult of the family.
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Where was this book ten years ago?
- By S. F. Wilson on 05-08-18
By: Julie Murphy
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Kissing Games of the World
- By: Sandi Kahn Shelton
- Narrated by: Myra Platt
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
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Tryin' To Sleep In the Bed You Made
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Fran L. Washington
- Length: 16 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Gayle was the beauty who believed that a man could make her life complete. Patricia was the intellectual who thought that rising to the top of her career would make her happy. And then there is Marcus Carter, who has been linked to both Gayle and Pat since the tragedy that occurred when they were all children. Can either one save him from himself? Can friends survive a love that comes between them? Each of them gets what she wants, but no one counts on the price they have to pay.
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Better with each chapter!
- By Cyn B. on 02-09-16
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
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Marlena
- A Novel
- By: Julie Buntin
- Narrated by: Emma Galvin
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Everything about 15-year-old Cat's new town in rural Michigan is lonely and off-kilter until she meets her neighbor, the manic, beautiful, pill-popping Marlena. Cat, inexperienced and desperate for connection, is quickly lured into Marlena's orbit by little more than an arched eyebrow and a shake of white-blond hair. As the two girls turn the untamed landscape of their desolate small town into a kind of playground, Cat catalogues a litany of firsts - first drink, first cigarette, first kiss - while Marlena's habits harden and calcify.
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A Brilliant, Agonizing Portrait of a Young Woman
- By Sudi on 06-06-17
By: Julie Buntin
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Second House from the Corner
- By: Sadeqa Johnson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Felicia Lyons, a stressed-out stay-at-home mom, struggles to sprint ahead of the demands of motherhood while her husband spends long days at the office. Felicia taps, utters mantras, and breathes her way through most situations, but on some days, like when the children won't stop screaming her name or arguing over toy trucks and pretzel sticks, she wonders what it would be like to get in her car and drive away.
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No ending to any of the situations that opened.
- By Tina on 03-12-16
By: Sadeqa Johnson
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Chanel Bonfire
- By: Wendy Lawless
- Narrated by: Wendy Lawless
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
By the time Wendy Lawless turned 17, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.... Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She went through men like Kleenex, and didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
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Not an Engaging Listen
- By Sobriquet on 03-13-13
By: Wendy Lawless
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The Drowning Girls
- By: Paula Treick DeBoard
- Narrated by: David Atlas, Amy McFadden
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Liz McGinnis never imagined herself living in a luxurious gated community like The Palms. Ever since she and her family moved in, she's felt like an outsider amongst the Stepford-like wives and their obnoxiously spoiled children. Still, she's determined to make it work - if not for herself, then for her husband, Phil, who landed them this lavish home in the first place, and for her daughter, Danielle, who's about to enter high school.
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Did the author run out of paper?
- By grandparent on 06-06-16
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Accidents of Marriage
- By: Randy Susan Meyers
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Maddy is a social worker trying to balance her career and three children. Years ago, she fell in love with Ben, a public defender, drawn to his fiery passion, but now he's lashing out at her during his periodic verbal furies. She vacillates between tiptoeing around him and asserting herself for the sake of their kids - which works to keep a fragile peace - until the rainy day when they're together in the car and Ben's volatile temper gets the best of him, leaving Maddy in the hospital fighting for her life.
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Love Is Not Always Enough
- By Pamela Dale Foster on 11-08-14
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The Wangs vs. the World
- By: Jade Chang
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Charles Wang is mad at America. A brash, lovable immigrant businessman who built a cosmetics empire and made a fortune, he's just been ruined by the financial crisis. Now all Charles wants is to get his kids safely stowed away so that he can go to China and attempt to reclaim his family's ancestral lands - and his pride. Outrageously funny and full of charm, The Wangs vs. the World is an entirely fresh look at what it means to belong in America - and how going from glorious riches to (still name-brand) rags brings one family together in a way money never could.
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Spectacular
- By Barbara on 10-11-16
By: Jade Chang
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Still Missing
- By: Chevy Stevens
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On the day she was abducted, Annie O’Sullivan, a 32-year-old Realtor, had three goals: sell a house, forget about a recent argument with her mother, and be on time for dinner with her ever-patient boyfriend. The open house is slow, but when her last visitor pulls up in a van as she’s about to leave, Annie thinks it just might be her lucky day after all.
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A singular voice; a horrendous story.
- By Richard Delman on 01-21-12
By: Chevy Stevens
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Why Can't I Be You
- By: Allie Larkin
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Jenny Shaw hears someone shout "Jessie!" across a hotel lobby, she impulsively answers. All her life, Jenny has toed the line, but something propels her to seize the opportunity to become Jessie Morgan, a woman to whom she bears an uncanny resemblance. Lonely in her own life, Jenny is embraced by Jessie’s warm circle of friends - and finds unexpected romance. But when she delves into Jessie’s past, Jenny discovers a secret that spurs her to take another leap into the unknown.
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Silly
- By Hilary on 05-20-15
By: Allie Larkin
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What listeners say about If I am Missing or Dead
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Mark
- 05-20-14
Janine Latus' memoir - sisters murder a postscript
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
No. I was depressed the whole time I read this book. I was expecting a triumphant tale of taking down the s.o.b. that killed the author's sister but was punched repeatedly with tales of the creepy, criminal, violent, selfish, and controlling men in the author's past. I was saddened by the violence and physical abuse that she suffered. The tale of her failed/ highly dysfunctional marriage was very long and seemed a bit one sided. I hope the author finds health and healing. The story of poor Amy's death was very very sad.
Abuse and violence is always wrong and the author's resource referrals for victims of abuse are greatly appreciated.
Has If I am Missing or Dead turned you off from other books in this genre?
No, but I feel that the title is misleading. This is Janine Latus' memoir punctuated by the "If I am Missing or Dead" story of losing her sister Amy.
Which scene was your favorite?
I like the scene where Janine asks her mother for a large loan to buy a typewriter and her stepfather calls back and refuses to give her the loan. Instead, the expensive typewriter would be a gift from the two of them. Finally! a good man.
Could you see If I am Missing or Dead being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?
If the emphasis were on the story of Amy - I would be interested in that.
Any additional comments?
The friends encouragement to "Say goodbye" to Amy was very moving.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Rj
- 10-11-07
Real
Dad but real. Every girl should be Required to read this book
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Laura Harris
- 09-06-23
Amy’s Courage
This book’s title refers to a note in the author’s sister’s desk, cogently anticipating her murder, but hoping it wouldn’t be that. Amy’s murder is looming in the background, but the memoir is about her sister making similar mistakes in the men she chooses, but ultimately escapes. I highly recommend this book, especially those who are interested in learning more about the patterns and dangers of domestic control and violence.
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Overall
- Lucie
- 07-09-07
EXCELLENT!!
I absolutely loved this book. I could not get out of my car because I was so engaged. My heart goes out to Janine Latus and her family.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Sarah
- 06-29-08
I was gonna
I didnt feel alone after reading this book. I lived a life much like the author. After leaving my relationship; I know I create the the world I live in; including what is acceptable and what is not.
If you have thought about writing a letter "if I am missing or dead"; question if you are more committed to your commitment or are you are making the right decision? Life is short; you only get one shot at each day. Are you hoping tomorrow will be different? Are you living and loving the way you want?
Love shouldnt hurt... You have to trust your gut... Risk will getting you from where you are today to where you want to be. It might be hard... but think of the alternative.
If you reach the end of your life; should your tombstone read "I was gonna"?
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Overall
- Ellen
- 07-02-07
All About Janine
The premise is chilling. I wish the author had delved more into why Amy was so into this guy, who was obviously using her. The author seemed to have picked up on the role their father played in forming the daughters' self-esteem, but in my opinion the author still has a long way to go in healing her own self-esteem. Frankly I'd probably have liked Amy a lot better than I would like to get to know Janine Latus. I wouldn't like to be in the same room with her.
I know she has healing to do but her little asides about other people and their inferiority are just astounding!
All through the book, single people are "losers." People who are not as trim, slim, wealthy, attractive and fashionable as Janine and her then-husband are losers too. "We were the couple everyone wanted to be!" Just when you think Latus is going to come down off her perch and be happy to embrace the regular people, she does it again. Horrors, she can't take the job in North Carlina, that's tobacco country and she just knows there won't be any kindred spirits! And when she starts dating again, the dismissive way she rejects guys on the basis of "paunch" and some other externals--all I can say is some of the sweetest, most loving, and supportive non-controlling guys have a little "paunch." I'm not saying Janine deserved her controlling husband--I am just saying she sure comes across as conceited.
How is she going to handle aging if she's that wrapped up in her looks? This book should have been titled "How Superior I, Janine Latus, Am." Maybe her dad made her overcompensate, ego-wise.
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Overall
- Albina Kowalko
- 05-21-08
Codependent!
While I did enjoy the book, it was extremely co-dependently written. I was expecting more about why these women chose the men they chose instead of hearing the same old abusive behavior chapter after chapter. Never once did I hear her stand up for herself. She cared more about other people's needs other than her own.
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Overall
- drtmm17
- 07-28-07
Stunning
With, "If I am Missing or Dead", Janine Latus has written a stunning autobiography/biography striking chords that will resonante with her audience for a very long time. Latus weaves a story that interconnects each of the players until the final loss of her sister Amy rips the fabric of all of their lives. She skillfully connects the good with the bad and the comic with the ultimate tragedy. Bravo. This is a masterpiece.
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Overall
- Lisa
- 07-02-07
Profound and Disturbing
Eloquent and fine... well written thoughtful and reflective..... wonderfully read
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Story
- brownsgirl73
- 05-29-24
Her Story Could Be My Story
Janine Latus articulates the experience of being in an emotionally abusive relationship better than any psychological book I’ve read!!
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