How to Survive a Unicorn
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Narrated by:
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Fred Berman
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By:
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L.G. Estrella
About this listen
Are you being attacked by a pissed-off unicorn? Has an angry basilisk slithered into your camp? Is a dragon about to eat you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you.
Our world is full of monsters. Some of them are happy to live and let live, but the majority of them are vicious jerks. If you want to survive, then you need to know what to do when things go wrong.
Don't settle for speculation or the ramblings of a tavern drunk. Get the facts about monsters straight from a legendary hero who has fought just about all of them and who has befriended a bunch of them. Whether it's krakens, vampires, or werewolves, this book has all the information you need to ensure your survival.
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- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
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L.G. Estrella did it again
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Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
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Loved it!
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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
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Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
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Sound Editing Needed
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The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.
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really refreshing, can't wait for more
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Baton. Light. Chocolate. Duck. This is not DS Adams' usual kit. This is not DS Adams' usual case. She doesn't think it's anyone's usual case, not with the vanishing children and the looming bridge and the hungry river. Not with the snap-snap-snap. But six kids are missing, and she's not going to let there be a seventh. Not on her watch. And she knows how to handle human monsters, after all. How different can this really be?
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I want more
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24/7 Demon Mart: Publisher's Pack features two books from the 24/7 Demon Mart series: The Graveyard Shift, book one, and Monster Burger, book two. It also includes the bonus Hell for the Holidays, a 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas special. Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
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L.G. Estrella did it again
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Loved it!
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Sound Editing Needed
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The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.
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really refreshing, can't wait for more
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Baton. Light. Chocolate. Duck. This is not DS Adams' usual kit. This is not DS Adams' usual case. She doesn't think it's anyone's usual case, not with the vanishing children and the looming bridge and the hungry river. Not with the snap-snap-snap. But six kids are missing, and she's not going to let there be a seventh. Not on her watch. And she knows how to handle human monsters, after all. How different can this really be?
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I want more
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cool idea ruined by cartoonish narration
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Gobbelino London & a Scourge of Pleasantries
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Find a missing book. That was the job the woman in the Doc Martens gave us. Easy money, right? Only now it seems she's actually an ancient, powerful sorcerer, and the book is a Book of Power that doesn't want to be found. It wants to tear reality apart at the seams, and it'll use anyone it can to do it. So now we've got one spectacularly displeased sorcerer, a hungry, still-missing book, a dentist with bad hygiene, and a neighbourhood having some reality issues to deal with. Plus about a day before the book turns our world - and us - inside out.
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Interesting start
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Advent of Eternity
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A clock hangs over the head of every mortal. Counting down to the inescapable day that the Goddess of Death claims them. That is the way of the world. The natural cycle of mortals. The Gods, however, were said to live for forever. To exist so far outside of the natural laws of the universe that even their crimes can't be punished. But Knell Coba, at great cost, realizes this is nothing but another lie.
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Pretty freaking great
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Nine months ago, Zeus' murder catapulted the Greek gods back into public life. Now, the whole pantheon revels in new temples, casinos, and media empires - except Apollo. An overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone he receives from rapacious mortals turns each day into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer geek named Leif, who hold the key to Zeus' resurrection.
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Like a fresh cranberry-orange nut muffin w/ fudge
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Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.
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Leveling up in a cheery British accent
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I never got used to my father’s oppressive rule in the Underworld. That’s why I decided to escape my fate as the future Demon Lord and reincarnate into the realm of Ria. My plan? As Luc Vale, the mortal mage, I’ll live out a real life and become an adventurer. But first, I must master this world’s new magic at the Tower Guild Academy.
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Fantastic
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Seth Kinnaman's dream has always been to become the best fighter the world has ever seen. After spending his entire life training, he's finally ready to test his skills in the biggest tournament on Earth, where hundreds of the fiercest competitors vie for the supreme title. In the semifinals, Seth is getting the upper hand when his opponent uses an illegal blow to take him out. Upon waking up from a coma, Seth finds out he's lost his sight. He's become blind, and he's completely devastated. All his dreams are now shattered, and he soon falls into depression.
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A Gamer's Fun Ride!
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The Case of the Damaged Detective
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A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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I wish I could chain Drew to a desk and make him write for me 24/7... j/k... kind of...
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Forging Divinity
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Some say that in the city of Orlyn, godhood is on sale to the highest bidder. Thousands flock to the city each year, hoping for a chance at immortality. Lydia Hastings is a knowledge sorcerer, capable of extracting information from anything she touches. When she travels to Orlyn to validate the claims of the local faith, she discovers a conspiracy that could lead to a war between the world's three greatest powers. At the focal point is a prisoner who bears a striking resemblance to the long-missing leader of the pantheon she worships.
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OK magic system, but everything else is flat
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Primordial Ascension
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Magic is fading, and humanity is at the brink of extinction. Sybil lived and breathed the life of a miner, delving deep into monster-infested caverns and perilous shafts, risking her life to unearth Relics of an ancient past for food and shelter. That is until one day, she discovers a Relic that would change her fate from a simple miner to an Ascended—a Relic that connected her to the magic that was once lost.
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Ok so here it is
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A Decade of Death and Decisions
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In October of 2013, Drew Hayes began posting a story to his website. Written over the thirteen days leading up to Halloween, when each chapter ended the next step was chosen by the readers. Sometimes this led to great discoveries and triumphs, other paths led to Dead Ends, though even in those there was much to be gleaned. For ten years, this tradition occurred, until in the year of 2022, the readers chose a finale. This is their story: a tale of deaths and decisions that spanned a decade.
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Did not disappoint
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Nailmaker: The Reaper, an Isekai LitRPG
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Performance
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Story
Meet Jack, a jaded vet from Earth. During the day he’s a nobody who is shunned and abused. However, at night he’ll grow to be an ungodly powerhouse that would put fear in the hearts of the rich and corrupt. He’ll use every bit of courage, and ingenuity to wreak vengeance on anyone who messes with him or his friends.
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Great story - fun MC
- By Not a Mover or a Shaker on 03-25-24
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Roverpowered
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Wanda and Wumble are a small pair with vast ambitions. One an aspiring alchemist, and the other her faithful hound, the pair bond as wizard and familiar to begin their pursuit of magic. As a newly made wizard without any training, resources, or even a home to return to, Wanda will have to forge her own way on a path where constant dangers lurk. Even the simple act of furthering her alchemy education swiftly becomes a harrowing ordeal.
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It’s a good novella, but not a novel
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What listeners say about How to Survive a Unicorn
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Cordarryl
- 12-12-24
Great!
This made me miss the Two Necromancers and the Accidental Vampirism stories so much! No this book is not a story being told exactly but a sort of tips and tricks bestiary told by someone based on his own experiences. They all sound like interfering incidents as well but most of all I enjoyed the Easter eggs from the other stories.
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- Hiep
- 06-01-24
It’s different
It like listening to 1 guy talking about his life experience, we can connect the dots to know the main character. Very detailed about fantasy creatures. A lot of humor which I enjoy most. Narrator is so passionate, he makes the book more interesting.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Alicia Long
- 02-11-24
Not your “standard” L.G. Estrella book, but I’m loving it!
Warning! This is different from the author’s other works. I’m loving it, but it’s not a standard story. It’s short vignettes and instructions from a hero who has survived lots of fearsome monsters. There is a story thread woven through, but it’s not on the surface. The narrator’s great, but it might not be the right listen for you. Give the sample a listen to test it out before you buy it,
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2 people found this helpful
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- SammiG
- 02-19-24
It’s an encyclopedia of mystical creatures. Not a story
For what it is….. it’s fine. However I was expecting a story not an encyclopedia of mystical creatures. The explanations are humorous. I really like this author’s work but frustrated that the explanation of the book was so vague as to what this book really was.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Victor J Walsh
- 02-11-24
Mr Estrella can write anything and I will read it and love it
An interesting tale in his wonderful world. A completely different take than the usual and very appreciated
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- Koeeoaddi
- 03-05-24
Loved it loved it loved it!
What a wonderful book and as usual, the narrator was fantastic. I’m going to replay it now!
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-26-24
A Lot of Fun for Old and New Fans of L. G. Estrella Alike
Very enjoyable in its own right, but also full of fun Easter eggs for fans of the author’s other works. I was particularly happy to hear about the Unconventional Heroes’ Spot’s ultimate destiny.
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- Merrilee Yocum
- 04-30-24
Nothing like her other works and not in a good way
Lete be clear. I LOVE every other L.G. Estrella book! This book is a man talking about magical creatures like some old western cowboy describing all the dangers in the West. The narration is a bit flat and the book seems fairly repetitive so it really drags on. made it half way through before calling it. I'm hoping it's a binder so she can join all of her "worlds" together. Any other book by her is top tier excitement and adventure strung along with witty humor and well developed characters
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1 person found this helpful
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- Heather V
- 02-18-24
I really tried with this...
First of all I am a massive fan of the author. I love the Unconventional Hero's & Attempted Vampirism Series a TON!
But this...
Well, I really tried to make it past chapter 3 and just couldn't; the 3 chapters discussing unicorns and virgins vs. non-virgins and all that was just too much. I felt it was super cringey. I was really looking forward to the book :( but I guess every author has 1 that is unique and not for everyone.
I encourage all to at least give the sample a listen and see if it is your cup of tea, and if it isn't, you should check out his other stuff; it's head and shoulders above!
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- SophAnn
- 02-09-24
Not worth it
I have historically liked LG Estrella’s writing, but this book doesn’t compare to the other books
There’s no story, it is a “how to book”. Essentially, unless you are a virgin or carrying a cute wild creature you’re going to die painfully.
I couldn’t get past chapter 3.
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2 people found this helpful