How to Know a Person
The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
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Narrated by:
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David Brooks
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By:
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David Brooks
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
“More than a guide to better conversations, it’s a blueprint for a more connected and humane way of living. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and broaden their perspectives.”—Bill Gates, GatesNotes (Summer Reading Pick)
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?
Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.
The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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How to Train Your Mind
- Exploring the Productivity Benefits of Meditation
- By: Chris Bailey
- Narrated by: Chris Bailey
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Original Recording
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Meditation makes you more productive because it lets you earn back time. For each minute you spend meditating, you'll earn around nine minutes back, as Chris Bailey - author of The Productivity Project and Hyperfocus - will show in this candid and counter-intuitive guide to the productivity benefits of meditation.
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Started Listening By Accident
- By T.D.Willis on 01-17-21
By: Chris Bailey
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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The Mastery of Self
- A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom
- By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
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Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Allison Friederichs Atkison
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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Nope
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The most important book of 2020
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Honestly, I'm a little disappointed.
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You already know all of this
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At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We’re not listening. And no one is listening to us. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.
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Very Interesting and Helpful
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Tempo is key! (1.25X)
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From Strength to Strength
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At the height of his career at the age of 50, Arthur Brooks embarked on a seven-year journey to discover how to transform his future from one of disappointment over waning abilities into an opportunity for progress. From Strength to Strength is the result, a practical roadmap for the rest of your life. Drawing on social science, philosophy, biography, theology, and eastern wisdom, as well as dozens of interviews with everyday men and women, Brooks shows us that true life success is well within our reach.
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A self-help book for overeducated overachievers
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By: Arthur C. Brooks
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The Mountain Is You
- Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
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Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential.
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Underwelming
- By Erin on 04-20-22
By: Brianna Wiest
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How to Talk to Anyone
- 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
- By: Leil Lowndes
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- Unabridged
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What is that magic quality that makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their "Midas touch?"
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Good info, but painful to listen to
- By Scott on 09-19-16
By: Leil Lowndes
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Talking to Strangers
- What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know
- By: Malcolm Gladwell
- Narrated by: Malcolm Gladwell
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn't true? While tackling these questions, Malcolm Gladwell was not solely writing a book for the page. He was also producing for the ear. In the audiobook version of Talking to Strangers, you’ll hear the voices of people he interviewed - scientists, criminologists, military psychologists.
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Enjoyable listen with some facts incorrect
- By Jim on 09-11-19
By: Malcolm Gladwell
What listeners say about How to Know a Person
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Larissa
- 10-25-23
Great book
I think this should be taught in high school. I find behavior to be so fascinating.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Renee M. McClean
- 02-21-24
A deeply transformative experience
I’ve many “self help” books on relationships and habits but none of them touched my heart in the manner that Brooks’s book has. He made me question my self perceptions and become more aware of how to get past seeing others in my habitual manner. By the end of his book, I truly wanted to be more compassionate, respectful, and kinder. I tear up as I write this, but thank you Mr. Brooks for your wonderful and insightful work. I shall read it again and again.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Chris
- 12-19-23
Helpful guide for how to truly know someone
This is a very good, easy-reading/listening book about how to improve our abilities to truly get to know someone. Great for a book club or book discussion group. Well worth the price.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Rhonda
- 02-13-24
Timeless, thought-provoking, insightful—but narration was too fast
I was already a fan of David Brooks’s other books and op-ed columns, and this book was no exception. The content offered penetrating insights into the very qualities that make us human and can make interpersonal relationships deeply satisfying. My only complaint is that the content was so relatable and meaningful and the author’s narration so fast that it allowed no time for each complex thought to be absorbed before barreling ahead to the next idea. I tried slowing down the narration to .7 speed, but that made Brooks’s familiar voice so unlike itself that it became distracting. I will probably reread the book on Kindle or buy a hardcover copy so I can ingest it at a slower pace and mark key passages for emphasis and reflection.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-28-23
Will again!
I will be listening multiple times. Information was very helpful and relatable. Great job on this one!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anomalyzer
- 10-31-23
Insightful and Encouraging
This book was insightful and encouraging for me. It addresses difficult topics and those that become less and less common to discuss. Thank you for the effort put into writing this book and making it accessible for us.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-31-23
Outstanding
Learned a lot about my self.
I plan to listen to more of David Brooks writings.
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- Don I Denver
- 11-16-23
Outstanding!
He did so much work researching, reading and organizing literature into current and comprehensive guidance to enhance relationships. I truly hope so many people read this book that the divisions that plague us politically are reduced.
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- Ross Overline
- 11-03-23
Amazing
This book is a must read for anyone hoping to be effective and have a positive impact on others.
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- sheri lee hamilton
- 11-11-23
Must read
Excellent, informative and helpful. A must read for everyone. Love to have it read by author.
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