How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying
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Narrated by:
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Jeanette Illidge
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By:
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Django Wexler
About this listen
Groundhog Day meets Guardians of the Galaxy in Django Wexler’s laugh-out-loud fantasy tale about a young woman who, tired of defending humanity from the Dark Lord, decides to become the Dark Lord herself.
Davi has done this all before. She’s tried to be the hero and take down the all-powerful Dark Lord. A hundred times she’s rallied humanity and made the final charge. But the time loop always gets her in the end. Sometimes she’s killed quickly. Sometimes it takes a while. But she’s been defeated every time.
This time? She’s done being the hero and done being stuck in this endless time loop. If the Dark Lord always wins, then maybe that’s who she needs to be. It’s Davi’s turn to play on the winning side.
Burningblade & Silvereye
Ashes of the Sun
Blood of the Chosen
Emperor of Ruin
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
“All hail Dark Lord Davi! How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying is outrageously fun, filled with campy humor, action and unexpected warm-heartedness. I grinned from the first page to the last.”—Fonda Lee, author of Jade City
"Wickedly sharp, funny, and raunchy. Wexler delights in punching holes in the beloved cliches of fantasy, and I adore this. If you ever thought: if I was the villain, I'd actually be smart about things, then this is the book for you."—Jenn Lyons, author of The Ruin of Kings
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-
Story
Davi has left the horde behind her, hoping to find a peaceful solution to keep the Kingdom from being destroyed this time. But her plan to guide the Kingdom is thwarted when her usual love interest, Prince Johann, is already married and the bloodthirsty Duke Aster is running the government. Johann's new husband is everything Davi is not, but he holds a key to the one mystery she can't solve–the origins of the time loop that has entrapped her. She must gain his trust, and swiftly.
By: Django Wexler
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The Thousand Names
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 22 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With this stunning series opener, Django Wexler leaps to the upper echelon of today’s best fantasy authors. The Thousand Names opens his Shadow Campaigns series with a tale of bloody rebellion that will reshape an empire -- and a world. Captain Marcus d’Ivoire and Winter Ihernglass see their fortunes rise under the command of military genius Janus bet Vhalnich. But Janus’ obsession with the supernatural portends a dire fate for the realm.
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90% battles and 10% character development
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-14
By: Django Wexler
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Dreadful
- By: Caitlin Rozakis
- Narrated by: Keval Shah
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing—from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess—is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all—who does he want to be?
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The goblins!
- By Anonymous User on 06-25-24
By: Caitlin Rozakis
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Someone You Can Build a Nest In
- By: John Wiswell
- Narrated by: Carmen Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by hunters intent on murdering her, she constructs a body using a metal chain for a backbone, borrowed bones for limbs, and a bear trap as an extra mouth. However, the hunters chase Shesheshen out of her home and off a cliff. Badly hurt, she's found and nursed back to health by Homily, a warmhearted human, who has mistaken Shesheshen as a fellow human
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Lovely!
- By Anonymous User on 04-09-24
By: John Wiswell
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I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons
- By: Peter S. Beagle
- Narrated by: Shaun Taylor-Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dragons are common in the backwater kingdom of Bellemontagne, coming in sizes from mouse-like vermin all the way up to castle-smashing monsters. Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (who would much rather people call him Robert) has recently inherited his deceased dad’s job as a dragon catcher/exterminator, a career he detests with all his heart in part because he likes dragons, feeling a kinship with them, but mainly because his dream has always been the impossible one of transcending his humble origin to someday become a prince’s valet.
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A fun read, and slightly frustrating listen.
- By Anonymous User on 06-27-24
By: Peter S. Beagle
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Long Live Evil
- By: Sarah Rees Brennan
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When her whole life collapsed, Rae still had books. Dying, she seizes a second chance at living: a magical bargain that lets her enter the world of her favorite fantasy series. She wakes in a castle on the edge of a hellish chasm, in a kingdom on the brink of war. Home to dangerous monsters, scheming courtiers and her favourite fictional character: the Once and Forever Emperor. He’s impossibly alluring, as only fiction can be. And in this fantasy world, she discovers she's not the heroine, but the villainess in the Emperor's tale.
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Funny & Quirky
- By Anonymous User on 09-09-24
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Everybody Wants to Rule the World Except Me
- By: Django Wexler
- Length: 15 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Davi has left the horde behind her, hoping to find a peaceful solution to keep the Kingdom from being destroyed this time. But her plan to guide the Kingdom is thwarted when her usual love interest, Prince Johann, is already married and the bloodthirsty Duke Aster is running the government. Johann's new husband is everything Davi is not, but he holds a key to the one mystery she can't solve–the origins of the time loop that has entrapped her. She must gain his trust, and swiftly.
By: Django Wexler
-
The Thousand Names
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 22 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With this stunning series opener, Django Wexler leaps to the upper echelon of today’s best fantasy authors. The Thousand Names opens his Shadow Campaigns series with a tale of bloody rebellion that will reshape an empire -- and a world. Captain Marcus d’Ivoire and Winter Ihernglass see their fortunes rise under the command of military genius Janus bet Vhalnich. But Janus’ obsession with the supernatural portends a dire fate for the realm.
-
-
90% battles and 10% character development
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-14
By: Django Wexler
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Dreadful
- By: Caitlin Rozakis
- Narrated by: Keval Shah
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing—from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess—is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all—who does he want to be?
-
-
The goblins!
- By Anonymous User on 06-25-24
By: Caitlin Rozakis
-
Someone You Can Build a Nest In
- By: John Wiswell
- Narrated by: Carmen Rose
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shesheshen is a shapeshifter, who happily resides as an amorphous lump at the bottom of a ruined manor. When her rest is interrupted by hunters intent on murdering her, she constructs a body using a metal chain for a backbone, borrowed bones for limbs, and a bear trap as an extra mouth. However, the hunters chase Shesheshen out of her home and off a cliff. Badly hurt, she's found and nursed back to health by Homily, a warmhearted human, who has mistaken Shesheshen as a fellow human
-
-
Lovely!
- By Anonymous User on 04-09-24
By: John Wiswell
-
I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons
- By: Peter S. Beagle
- Narrated by: Shaun Taylor-Corbett
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dragons are common in the backwater kingdom of Bellemontagne, coming in sizes from mouse-like vermin all the way up to castle-smashing monsters. Gaius Aurelius Constantine Heliogabalus Thrax (who would much rather people call him Robert) has recently inherited his deceased dad’s job as a dragon catcher/exterminator, a career he detests with all his heart in part because he likes dragons, feeling a kinship with them, but mainly because his dream has always been the impossible one of transcending his humble origin to someday become a prince’s valet.
-
-
A fun read, and slightly frustrating listen.
- By Anonymous User on 06-27-24
By: Peter S. Beagle
-
Long Live Evil
- By: Sarah Rees Brennan
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When her whole life collapsed, Rae still had books. Dying, she seizes a second chance at living: a magical bargain that lets her enter the world of her favorite fantasy series. She wakes in a castle on the edge of a hellish chasm, in a kingdom on the brink of war. Home to dangerous monsters, scheming courtiers and her favourite fictional character: the Once and Forever Emperor. He’s impossibly alluring, as only fiction can be. And in this fantasy world, she discovers she's not the heroine, but the villainess in the Emperor's tale.
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Funny & Quirky
- By Anonymous User on 09-09-24
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Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City
- By: K. J. Parker
- Narrated by: Ray Sawyer
- Length: 13 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A siege is approaching, and the city has little time to prepare. The people have no food and no weapons, and the enemy has sworn to slaughter them all. To save the city will take a miracle, but what it has is Orhan. A colonel of engineers, Orhan has far more experience with bridge-building than battles, is a cheat and a liar, and has a serious problem with authority. He is, in other words, perfect for the job. Sixteen Ways To Defend a Walled City is the story of Orhan, son of Siyyah Doctus Felix Praeclarissimus, and his history of the Great Siege.
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Great performance
- By Anonymous User on 04-14-23
By: K. J. Parker
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Ashes of the Sun
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 21 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Gyre hasn't seen his beloved sister since their parents sold her to the mysterious Twilight Order. Now, 12 years after her disappearance, Gyre's sole focus is revenge, and he's willing to risk anything and anyone to claim enough power to destroy the Order. Chasing rumors of a fabled city protecting a powerful artifact, Gyre comes face-to-face with his lost sister. But she isn't who she once was.
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Ignore the few narrator complaints. She Rocks
- By Anonymous User on 02-10-22
By: Django Wexler
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The Blacktongue Thief
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Christopher Buehlman
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Kinch Na Shannack owes the Takers Guild a small fortune for his education as a thief, which includes (but is not limited to) lock-picking, knife-fighting, wall-scaling, fall-breaking, lie-weaving, trap-making, plus a few small magics. His debt has driven him to lie in wait by the old forest road, planning to rob the next traveler that crosses his path. But today, Kinch Na Shannack has picked the wrong mark.
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Outstanding
- By Anonymous User on 05-28-21
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Dungeons & Dragons: Spelljammer: Memory's Wake
- Dungeons & Dragons
- By: Django Wexler
- Narrated by: Lisa Flanagan
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Axia wishes she could be grateful to have spent her life—or what little she remembers of it—on an asteroid so far from anything of interest that even the greediest spacers see fit to pass it by. Her days may not be as exciting as the swashbuckling stories of her favorite books or as dramatic as the pasts she’s imagined for herself, but they’re as safe as Shatterspace can manage. So why does something inside her long for the stars every time she sees a spacefaring spelljammer vessel?
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Popcorn listen
- By Anonymous User on 10-17-24
By: Django Wexler
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A Sorceress Comes to Call
- By: T. Kingfisher
- Narrated by: Eliza Foss, Jennifer Pickens
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged