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How to Be a Perfect Christian
- Your Comprehensive Guide to Flawless Spiritual Living
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Paul Boehmer
- Length: 4 hrs and 7 mins
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Publisher's summary
With a biting, satirical style reminiscent of The Onion, How to Be a Perfect Christian takes a humorous look at the quirks of cultural Christianity while subtly challenging the listener to search for more than a cultural faith.
Written in the trademark style of The Babylon Bee, this book humorously satirizes cultural Christianity while peppering in subtle challenges to the listener. Through humor and sarcasm (and a handy meter to rank your "holiness" as you progress through the audiobook), listeners will be called to find a more biblical understanding of the Christian faith, all while poking fun at the quirks of the modern, American Christian community.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
"I love the Babylon Bee, whose authors are the Jonathan Swift of our era. I'm rarely sure whether to laugh or cry. The only time I wasn't giggling in this book was when I was wincing from a well-placed poke. What makes their stuff my favorite, however, is that it never degrades into cynical. It's clear that behind their snarky humor is something they genuinely love: the church." (J. D. Greear, author of Not God Enough: Why Your Small God Leads to Big Problems and Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart: How to Know for Sure You Are Saved)
"Forget love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! Perfection is so much better than the fruit of the Spirit. And, as the Babylon Bee's How to Be a Perfect Christian shows, it's a lot easier too." (Karen Swallow Prior, author of Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me and Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More - Poet, Reformer Abolitionist)
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Dance like there's no one watching. The Bible clearly shows that we have been uniquely created for a purposeful life, but it's not meant to be about us, or our career, or our fame. It's all about God, and His glory. That's the purpose of Chris Tomlin's first book: to get you to think of yourself as one of God's fame builders.
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Discovering Worship
- By Willem on 09-10-05
By: Chris Tomlin
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Upside-Down Spirituality
- The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life
- By: Chad Bird
- Narrated by: Brandon Batchelar
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In our age when the church can too often seem like a poor copy of the world, Chad Bird challenges us to reclaim the astounding originality of our ancient, backward faith. With compelling examples from the Bible and today, Bird paints an enticing picture of the counterintuitive, countercultural life that God wants for us. He helps listeners delight in all of the ways that Jesus turned the world upside down, allowing us to experience true freedom, not from our weaknesses but in the midst of them.
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Great messages for today
- By Fred M on 07-24-22
By: Chad Bird
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Speak Life
- Restoring Healthy Communication in How You Think, Talk, and Pray
- By: Brady Boyd
- Narrated by: Wes Bleed
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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The most important conversation you'll have. Why do so many of our conversations with one another lead to misunderstanding and hurt feelings? Brady Boyd turns to the example of Jesus Christ to show that the health of our conversations can be only as vibrant as the health of our interactions with God. As Proverbs says, "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Proverbs 12:18 niv).
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Wonderful book, so much wisdom
- By R. Smith on 01-16-24
By: Brady Boyd
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If
- Trading Your If Only Regrets for God's What If Possibilities
- By: Mark Batterson
- Narrated by: Mark Batterson
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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With his trademark enthusiasm and contagious joy, Mark Batterson helps listeners overcome feelings of guilt, fear, and doubt because in Christ there is no condemnation. Unpacking the promises of Romans 8, he shows listeners that they are more than conquerors - right now and forever. And because of that, the possibilities for their lives are limitless. Christians from all walks of life will find themselves set free by this inspiring and entertaining listen.
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Inspiring
- By Alicia on 12-12-15
By: Mark Batterson
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The Unsaved Christian
- Reaching Cultural Christians with the Gospel
- By: Dean Inserra
- Narrated by: Tim Lundeen
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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What to do when they say they’re Christian but don’t know Jesus. Whether it’s the Christmas and Easter Christians or the faithful church attenders whose hearts are cold toward the Lord, we’ve all encountered cultural Christians. They’d check the Christian box on a survey, they’re fine with church, but the truth is, they’re far from God. So how do we bring Jesus to this overlooked mission field? The Unsaved Christian equips you to confront cultural Christianity with honesty, compassion, and grace, whether you’re doing it from the pulpit or the pews.
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Me. Me. Me! That was me! I thought I was a Christian...
- By Nana B on 04-23-19
By: Dean Inserra
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Lord Foulgrin's Letters
- By: Randy Alcorn
- Narrated by: Frank Muller
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Abridged
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Correspondence has fallen into our hands that we were not intended to see. Foulgrin, a high-ranking demon, instructs his subordinate how to deceive and destroy Jordan Fletcher and his family. It's like placing a bugging device in hell's war room, where we overhear our enemies assessing our weaknesses and strategizing attack. To win the battle, we must know our God, know ourselves, and know our enemy. Lord Foulgrin's Letters is written to help us become better acquainted with each.
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Wonderful!
- By BookLady on 04-27-10
By: Randy Alcorn
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God Without Religion
- Can It Really Be This Simple?
- By: Andrew Farley
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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God without religion? Andrew Farley’s experience as a Christian was first characterized by self-effort as he tried to please God at any cost. His ruthless religion resulted in spiritual fatigue and disillusionment with church. Only then did he discover what relaxing in Jesus means and how enjoying God’s intimate presence can transform everyday life. Using a story-driven format, God without Religion dismantles common religious misconceptions. Pulling no punches, Andrew shows how the truth about these controversial issues can liberate and unify believers....
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worth a listen
- By Aaron on 06-04-15
By: Andrew Farley
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Dirty Glory
- Go Where Your Best Prayers Take You
- By: Pete Greig
- Narrated by: Pete Greig
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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You were created to walk and talk with the living God. Prayer is the most natural, powerful, and universal expression of Christian faith. Why then is it sometimes so difficult? Continuing the adventures described in his best-selling memoir, Red Moon Rising, Pete Greig reveals the struggles, miracles, and hard-won insights gleaned from 15 years of 24-7 prayer, mission, and justice.
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Without Any Doubt The BEST Audible Book for Any Person of Faith
- By Mark Herndon on 02-27-21
By: Pete Greig
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Rumors of God
- Experience the Kind of Faith You've Only Heard About
- By: Darren Whitehead, Jon Tyson
- Narrated by: Darren Whitehead, Jon Tyson
- Length: 4 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Where is the life God promised us? Life is busy. We live like slaves to our fast-paced, suffocating schedules. We spend our energy and time in triviality, relegating God to the background. He seems distant to us, and we resist the idea that God wants to give, say, and show us more; we dismiss it as rumor. But Jesus calls us to a better way. Another dream - an unimagined future. Close the gap between what you hear about and what you see.
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Excellent book
- By S. HARRIS on 06-24-15
By: Darren Whitehead, and others
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Church: Why Bother?
- By: Philip Yancey
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 3 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Insights from Philip Yancey's personal pilgrimage away from and back to the church. Why are there so many more professing Christians than churchgoing Christians? Is it because something is wrong with the church? In his candid, thought-provoking manner, award-winning author Philip Yancey reveals the reasons behind his own journey back from skepticism to wholehearted participation in the church, and weighs the church's human failings against its compelling worth as the body of Christ.
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Indeed, Why Bother with Church?
- By David on 07-10-17
By: Philip Yancey
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Hello, My Name Is
- Discover Your True Identity
- By: Matthew West
- Narrated by: Matthew West
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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The world goes out of its way to make you believe you are not good enough. Maybe you aren't sure you like where you've been or who you've become. Maybe someone has made you believe a lie about who you are by speaking damaging words to you. The discovery of our true identities does not begin by looking within ourselves but by looking to the One who made us. Hello, My Name Is will inspire you not to wear the nametag that someone else gave you but to wear the name of who God says you are.
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Hello My Name Is
- By Nana BUCKINGHAM on 02-08-20
By: Matthew West
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Follow Me
- A Call to Die. A Call to Live.
- By: David Platt
- Narrated by: David Platt
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In this new audiobook, David Platt, author of the New York Times best-selling book Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, contends that multitudes of people around the world culturally think they are Christians yet biblically are not followers of Christ.
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Needed this!
- By Curan on 12-09-15
By: David Platt
What listeners say about How to Be a Perfect Christian
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bradle
- 08-06-18
Satire at its best makes you think
Having read Babylon Bee this book fits into that category. Satire that is expressly Christian in nature. It had me howling with delight.
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- thomas hammond
- 01-18-21
great book book by an awesome company!
awesome narration, and kept me
laughing the entire way through! it also had me looking up verses and quotes to see the actual meaning which made it that much more enjoyable!
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- Kindle Customer
- 10-31-20
If You Can't Laugh At This...Lighten Up, Francis!
If You Can't Laugh At This...Lighten Up, Francis!
God created you with a sense of humor...if you don't think so, look in the mirror.
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made me laugh a lot
absolutely great. the satire of this book was definitely what I needed to laugh out loud!
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- Anonymous User
- 05-07-18
holy audiobook!
I feel incredibly uplifted and a thousand times more spiritual than before. I had no idea what I was missing, what I was doing wrong, but this really helped me on my way to becoming a perfect Christian. #blessed
p.s. if the authors are reading this, how many holiness points is a review of a book like this worth? Do I have to post it to my Facebook to count?
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1 person found this helpful
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- Gabriel
- 05-22-19
Overall Hilarious.
Overall a hilarious book. The sarcasm was spot on! Unfortunately it was so comedic because it’s very close to the truth.
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- Rick Giovanetto
- 10-24-18
Wear Steel-towed Shoes
Be sure to wear steel-towed shoes when you read this offering from the Babylon Bee! Funny? Yes! I often found myself laughing out loud as i journeyed to work in the morning. Anyone who has been deeply steeped in the America's Christian culture will find many opportunities to reflect on their own "church" experience. Only the self-righteous will truly be offended biting satire. Sadly, they occasionally stepped on my toes which says something my own self-righteous attitudes. Don't get me wrong, sin is destructive and displays rebellion against God, but while we (in the church) are relatively good at avoiding and condemning the "big sins," the Babylon Bee tends to go after the more subtle sins we all hide behind (gossip, pride, judging etc). Much too funny. As an young believer I witnessed much of this concerning music. Back then the "church" soundly condemned Christian music with drums and guitars (DEVIL MUSIC was the common name). The music in most churches today makes those early Jesus Music LP's sound like choir music or hymns. If you've been around the block and have a sense of humor - this is quite fun and worth the listen.
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- SummerSawe
- 06-13-21
Fantastic Satire of Cultural Christianity that Has Lost Its Way
This hilarious sarcastic audiobook preaches a powerful spiritual message against the idolatry and legalism that has taken over so much of American Protestantism and does so with many laughs and insights along the way!
I’m a huge fan of the Babylon Bee in its current form that does more secular political satire, but this book is a classic!
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- Christine K.
- 05-14-18
Mercilessly entertaining
This book had me laughing out loud. The writing is extremely well done, and there are dozens of great funny zingers to quote. The one "flaw" is that it isn't internally consistent. However, the reason is that they're making fun of those on all sides. They're merciless, but they make you think. I certainly could see a bit of myself in some points (if not my intentions, certainly how I could be viewed), as well as my local church and other churches I've visited. Like they say, "it's funny because it's true". Note that this probably wouldn't register with those who aren't familiar with church or churches, the Bible, church history, etc. For example, pretty much every reference to the Bible is misquoted on purpose. And if you just hate Christianity and aren't aware that this is actually written for and about Christians, you may find it funny but not grasp it in the spirit in which it is written. If you're a Christian with a great sense of humor and aren't easily offended, this is for you.
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- Jamie
- 05-05-18
Oh the joy of works and doubt!
This book was just incredible. The comprehensive guide to getting on the FastTrack to the lesser known fruit of the spirit, doubting my eternal rest!
I wish I would have continued listening when they told people to talk about other Bible translations with KJV only believers. I engaged someone in Arizona who I was excitedly sharing the truth of the ESV with who I have seen on the magical interwebs and couldn't wait to take this books advice... Well I am now in hiding and have since listened to the disclaimer. What a fearful thing to fall into the YouTube subject line of the KJV only preacher.
Great work, I look forward to other titles that did into eschatology, creeds, and the all important baptism debates!
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