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George, Man, Was a Plant
- Narrated by: James D. (Don) Adams
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
Humble, absent-minded Doctor Kinoklevsky, after travailing as a scientific researcher for twenty-odd years, is suddenly excommunicated from the institute he works for because they fear he may actually find a cure for The Plague which would negate all future funding. Rather than despair, he soon realizes he's free to get to the crux of the matter in the privacy of his own apartment/lab.
His focus becomes not just any plants, but the rugged weeds in the barren lot behind his tenement building because of their ability to survive anything without any help from anyone or anything. The problem is his crotchety old landlord forbids him from caring for the plants for no discernible reason, and so George must work under the cover of night and still the landlord and the landlord's wife are on to him which wouldn't be quite so bad except for the fact that he owes them months and months of back rent.
The plants are all intelligent, especially a certain Dracaena (Dracy for short) and they truly want to help George find the cure and help his pal, Alexander Clock, who lives in the building and who is very sick indeed with the Plague. When George must leave to Florida to see his mother who's ninety-nine and feeling like her number is just about up, the plants are left in the care of Alexander. Well, his illness catches up to him and he takes a header in George's garden and that's when, because they feel they have no other remedial choice, the plants take it upon themselves to invade Alexander's body and he becomes the first human garden, against his will and yet to his delight as well.
Because to be a plant is to realize the actual Remedy. When George returns from Florida things get even more hairy as the landlady gets her nose in their business and starts destroying the Garden de Alexander which leaves him little choice but to retaliate and before George can say "wtf" the vegetal momentum becomes an unstoppable monster that could well eclipse all that is animal with all that is vegetal, and so the inter-species war is on....
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