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February the Fifth: The First Hilarious Glothic Tale
- The Glothic Tales, Book 1
- Narrated by: Persephone Rose
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
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Publisher's summary
Welcome to Gloth
After the sudden and mysterious death of his father, a young fool becomes the ruler of 12 whole sun systems and quickly discovers he has some very nasty enemies. Particularly the ones who, quite quickly, start shooting at him.
In a remarkable turn of events, a young man with a lot definitely not going for him manages to come to terms with a startling reality. He has to grow up. Being handicapped by having rather nasty acne and an odd eye impediment, he also has to suffer the fact that his name is February. Or, at best, Feb to his very limited number of friends.
While not at all wishing to rush into this startling new reality, circumstances and a few elbow nudges from his very protective elder sister ensure that his "not at all wishing" turns out to be a complete waste of time. Thrust totally and unwillingly into a position of authority by early afternoon, February finds himself with a new appendage tacked on to the end his name.
The Fifth. The new and very authoritative part of his name. February the Fifth and Supreme Potentate of the 12 Sun Systems of Gloth.
Of course, as is the case in all such rapid and thrusting types of promotion to positions of power, there will be those who are not happy about it. In February’s case, however, he finds that in fact these those amount to just about everyone apart from his three sisters.
Undaunted by this reality, Feb accepts his new responsibility and by early evening sets about getting himself into a real tangle. His only true achievement being that he discovers that quite a few of these those who weren’t so happy are in fact really very upset about the whole Fifth appendage deal. By bedtime, he thinks he is in trouble.
Before lunchtime the next day, he is sure.
Listen to February the Fifth, a laugh a minute romp around the galaxy.
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- Length: 14 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Kris Longknife is a daughter of privilege, born to money and power. Her father is the prime minister of her home planet, her mother the consummate politician's wife. She's been raised only to be beautiful and marry well. But the heritage of the military Longknifes courses through Kris' blood - and, against her parents' objections, she enlists in the Marines.
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Harsh reviews seem undeserved to me
- By Jeffery on 09-29-10
By: Mike Shepherd
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The Collapsing Empire
- The Interdependency, Book 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.
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THE STUPIDITIES OF COURT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-01-17
By: John Scalzi
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Death at La Fenice
- Commissario Brunetti Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Donna Leon
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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During intermission at the famed La Fenice opera house in Venice, Italy, a notoriously difficult and widely disliked German conductor is poisoned—and suspects abound. Guido Brunetti, a native Venetian, sets out to unravel the mystery behind the high-profile murder. To do so, he calls on his knowledge of Venice, its culture, and its dirty politics. Along the way, he finds the crime may have roots going back decades—and that revenge, corruption, and even Italian cuisine may play a role.
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Hercule Poirot in Venice...!!!
- By Emil Grancagnolo on 10-09-22
By: Donna Leon
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Manhattans and Murder
- The Murder, She Wrote Mysteries, Book 2
- By: Jessica Fletcher, Donald Bain
- Narrated by: Beth Porter
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Promoting her latest books brings best-selling mystery writer Jessica Fletcher to New York for Christmas. Her schedule includes book signings, chat-show appearances, department store shopping...and murder. But it all begins with a sidewalk Santa staring at Jessica with fear and recognition.
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A release of an older Donald Bain book in the series, thank goodness
- By Dorise on 02-01-19
By: Jessica Fletcher, and others
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The Hercules Text
- By: Jack McDevitt
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 13 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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From a remote corner of the galaxy, a message is being sent. The continuous beats of a pulsar have become odd, irregular, and artificial. It can only be a code. Frantically, a research team struggles to decipher the alien communication. And what the scientists discover is destined to shake the foundations of empires around this world - from Wall Street to the Vatican.
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Lots to recommend here!
- By Matthew on 10-19-18
By: Jack McDevitt
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The Last Praetorian
- By: Mike Smith
- Narrated by: David Benjamin Bliss
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Commander Jonathan Radec is a man desperately trying to escape from the mistakes of his past. Now the owner of Vanguard Shipping, his primary concerns are trying to keep his ships flying and his crew alive. However, the shadowy Syndicate organization has set their sights on the commander and his business, having sent a beautiful assassin to kill him. To make matters worse, she's become the target of his infatuation, much to the dismay of his ex-girlfriend.
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Mr. Bliss' performance is the saving grace for TLP
- By T.W. Spencer on 08-27-15
By: Mike Smith
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Coyote
- A Novel of Interstellar Exploration
- By: Allen Steele
- Narrated by: Peter Ganim, Allen Steele
- Length: 17 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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The crime of the century begins without a hitch. On July 5th, 2070, as it's about to be launched, the starship Alabama is hijacked - by her captain and crew. In defiance of the repressive government of The United Republic of Earth, they replace her handpicked passengers with political dissidents and their families. These become Earth's first pioneers in the exploration of space...
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Poorly read
- By Amazon Customer on 09-09-08
By: Allen Steele
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The Star Beast
- Heinlein's Juveniles, Book 8
- By: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrated by: Richard Powers
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Lummox has been the pet of the Stuart family for generations. With eight legs, a thick hide, and increasingly large size, Lummox is nobody's idea of man's best friend. Nevertheless, John Stuart XI, descendant of the starman who originally brought Lummox back to Earth, loves him. But when Lummox eats a neighbor's car and begins to grow again, the feds decide that enough is enough.
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loved it!
- By Kevin on 09-06-16
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Starship
- Mutiny
- By: Mike Resnick
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis, Mike Resnick
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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The date is 1966 of the Galactic Era, almost three thousand years from now, and the Republic, created by the human race - but not yet dominated by it - finds itself in an all-out war. They stand against the Teroni Federation, an alliance of races that resent Man's growing military and economic power. The main battles are taking place in the Spiral Arm and toward the Core. But far out on the Rim, the Theodore Roosevelt is one of three ships charged with protecting the Phoenix Cluster.
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Good Fun
- By Lars on 04-25-08
By: Mike Resnick
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The Best of Our Spies
- Spy Masters, Book 1
- By: Alex Gerlis
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 15 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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France, July 1944: a month after the Allied landings in Normandy, and the liberation of Europe is under way. In the Pas-de-Calais, Nathalie Mercier, a young British Special Operations executive secret agent working with the French Resistance, disappears. In London, her husband, Owen Quinn, an officer with Royal Navy Intelligence, discovers the truth about her role in the Allies' sophisticated deception at the heart of D-Day.
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The Best Kind of Spy Story
- By Linda Hanson on 01-11-16
By: Alex Gerlis
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The Mote in God's Eye
- By: Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle
- Narrated by: L J Ganser
- Length: 20 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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The Mote In God's Eye is their acknowledged masterpiece, an epic novel of mankind's first encounter with alien life that transcends the genre. No lesser an authority than Robert A. Heinlein called it "possibly the finest science fiction novel I have ever read".
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A great read!
- By J. Rhoderick on 02-12-10
By: Larry Niven, and others
What listeners say about February the Fifth: The First Hilarious Glothic Tale
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Georgia McNabb
- 01-02-24
The Third Son has to Mature Fast
February The Fifth, is the first book I have read by Derek Haines. It was a pleasent read with s touches of science fiction and comedy throughout. I enjoyed the world's that the author builds and the entities that people them.
Narrator does a nice job with the various characters voices and the entire storyline.
will listen to book 2 next.
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- Radar
- 03-07-19
Not "hilarious", but worth it
At first, I omitted the "l" and read it as a "gothic" tale. Wasn't too sure what I was in for after I realized my error. However, the tale of February the Fifth, Supreme Potentate of the 12 Sun Systems of Gloth turned out to be a very enjoyable listen. It's not a laugh a minute, but what it is is a good, lighthearted sci-fi story. The plot is actually a typical comedic fantasy plot, with a ruler that isn't ready getting thrust into the job. Feb adapts quickly, and by the end of the book he has made new friends, and has truly found his purpose, Not to give anything away, but the final scene in the Glothic government chambers was really worth the price of admission. Persephone Rose really gives the story that something that draws you in. While some parts seemed a little rushed, and could benefit from a bit more space between sentences, the overall project is well worth your time and money. I already have the second book on my list to get! I received this promo copy at my request via Audiobook Boom, and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Digital Rogue
- 03-02-19
Fun, Funny, and Great Story
This story was way more fun than I originally anticipated.
A fun romp through the sun systems.
Follow February the Fifth as he unravels the mysteries of his family and finds the reason that he must become the Supreme Potentate.
Derek Haines does a fabulous job writing wonderfully quirky characters that while flawed are endearing.
Persephone Rose does a tremendous job of bringing this rag tag group of misfits to life while telling the story.
I would happily recommend this story.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Rebecca Azizov
- 03-18-19
nice adventure
a very nice adventure story very likeable and well-written I liked it a lot I will not call it hilarious but it was quite funny in some parts the narrator was good and overall it was a great story
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review
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2 people found this helpful
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- MJ
- 02-04-24
Gloth
Book was interesting and at times funny. Would not call it hilarious. Probably more a young adult book. Narrator was great, especially in spitting out the very uncommon names with no problem.
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- Catrina P
- 03-13-19
February the Fifth
I found this to be an enjoyable listen. There’s humor, action, corruption, loyalty, but most importantly a young boy becoming a man and fulfilling a role as he was meant to.
Derek Haines has written an interesting story, and there was enough action to keep me from putting it down. The narration by Persephone Rose added to my enjoyment.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and I have voluntarily left this review.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jessica
- 03-05-19
Beautifully funny book.
There's nothing I love more than a comedic sci-fi or fantasy story except one that also manages to bring a sense of world building to the table. And February the Fifth manages to do all of those things and then some. The writing is witty and clever with an obvious influence of British humor (a la Adams and Pratchett), but it's also unique. Feb is a great character because he is a little stupid and he is quite awful to look at but that doesn't stop him from taking control of the situation he's thrown into. I would love to listen to the rest of this series.
Persephone Rose was the perfect choice for this book. He manages to capture the characters and the humor perfectly. I hope he gets to do more dry humor type books.
**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.**
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- Blackeagle
- 11-08-23
Fun Adventure
This book to me on an adventure that was funny, entertaining, and engrossing. The story is fast-paced, adventure filled, and full of one-liners that made me laugh, especially the names.
I received this book for free upon my request. I am voluntarily leaving this review of my own free will.
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- Keith LaDue
- 04-12-19
Give the Author a sigar!
Very entertaining listen! And yes, Derek Haines hit my funny bone many times. I will be listening to more from Derek. I highly recommend this book. Now for the obligatory: "I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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2 people found this helpful
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- Diane Reynolds
- 09-20-20
Very entertaining
A quest that spans worlds and time. A romance. And a bittersweet ending. This book gathers together a group of unlikely characters to help a king on his quest for justice. It’s a bit like listening to the plot of a video game.
This is nothing deep. Just fun adventures without violence or harsh language.
I received this audiobook for free in exchange for a fair review.
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1 person found this helpful