Critical Failures
Caverns and Creatures, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Jonathan Sleep
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By:
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Robert Bevan
About this listen
Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape.
One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them.
Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game.
Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world.
It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.
©2012 Robert Bevan (P)2014 Robert BevanListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
It began as just another evening of fantasy gaming with James, Karl, Andrea, and the rest ready to assume their various roles as wizard, cleric, warrior, or thief. But sorcerous gamemaster Professor Deighton had something else planned for this unsuspecting group of college students. And the "game" soon became a matter of life and death as the seven adventurers found themselves transported to an alternate world and into the bodies of the actual characters they had been pretending to be....
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A Self Image Cast in Stone Could Shatter
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-19-13
By: Joel Rosenberg
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Off to Be the Wizard
- Magic 2.0, Book 1
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
- By Kelly on 03-04-17
By: Scott Meyer
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Rot & Ruin
- By: Jonathan Maberry
- Narrated by: Brian Hutchison
- Length: 13 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Fifteen-year-old Benny Imura lives in a world infested with zombies where, when a kid turns 15, he must get a job to continue receiving food rations. Benny has no interest in the family business of zombie killing, but figures he doesn’t have much of a choice. He’s tried out a bunch of other jobs, and hasn’t found anything he likes. But as Benny starts training with his brother, he learns things about being human that he never expected.
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Just when you thought it was safe.....
- By Amanda H. on 05-12-11
By: Jonathan Maberry
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Succubus Christmas Special
- By: A.J. Markam
- Narrated by: Iggy Toma
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In this irreverent take on the holidays, Ian gets a new quest in a virtual reality video game: kill a monstrous villain named Sinter Klaws. (And no, he is NOT a jolly old elf.) Join Ian, his succubus Alaria, and his imp Stig as they journey through a winter wonderland full of killer reindeer, lecherous elves, and the worst mall Santa in the history of the world.
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Say my name b**ch! A porny, Xmas, litRPG short
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-07-21
By: A.J. Markam
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The Spirit Thief
- The Legend of Eli Monpress, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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He's not just any thief. He’s the greatest thief of the age - and he’s also a wizard. And with the help of his partners - a swordsman with the most powerful magic sword in the world but no magical ability of his own, and a demonseed who can step through shadows and punch through walls - he’s going to put his plan into effect. The first step is to increase the size of the bounty on his head, so he’ll need to steal some big things. But he’ll start with somethingsmall. Something like a king....
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Entertaining light fantasy
- By Kindle Customer on 02-16-12
By: Rachel Aaron
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Helen & Troy's Epic Road Quest
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Witness the epic battle of the cyclops! Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying. Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare! Buy some knickknacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later. On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world.
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A little twee but very funny.
- By Anonymous User on 09-27-13
By: A. Lee Martinez
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Chosen
- The Warrior Chronicles, Book 1
- By: K.F. Breene
- Narrated by: Caitlin Davies
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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It is said that when war threatens the world, one individual will be selected by prophecy to lead the Shadow Warriors out of the Land of Mist and reclaim the freedom that has been stolen. Shanti has grown up under the constant threat of war. Since she helped her people defeat a raiding party by using a special power, she's been a hunted woman. Carrying rare abilities and an uncanny fighting aptitude, Shanti is the only hope of salvation for her people.
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Writing is a bit rough but story is engaging
- By Karissa Eckert on 04-27-17
By: K.F. Breene
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Royal Bastards
- By: Andrew Shvarts
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Being a bastard blows. Tilla would know. Her father, Lord Kent of the Western Province, loved her as a child but cast her aside as soon as he had trueborn children. At 16 Tilla spends her days exploring long-forgotten tunnels beneath the castle with her stablehand half brother, Jax, and her nights drinking with the servants, passing out on Jax's floor while her castle bedroom collects dust. Tilla secretly longs to sit by her father's side, enjoying feasts with the rest of the family.
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Reading is not the same as the physical copy
- By Anonymous User on 07-09-18
By: Andrew Shvarts
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Witches Be Crazy
- By: Logan J. Hunder
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
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perfect nonsense
- By Jen on 09-04-20
By: Logan J. Hunder
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Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
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Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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The Black Company
- Chronicles of The Black Company, Book 1
- By: Glen Cook
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Some feel the Lady, newly risen from centuries in thrall, stands between humankind and evil. Some feel she is evil itself. The hardbitten men of the Black Company take their pay and do what they must, burying their doubts with their dead - until the prophesy: The White Rose has been reborn, somewhere, to embody good once more. There must be a way for the Black Company to find her....
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Hard Boiled Morally Ambiguous Epic Fantasy
- By Jefferson on 03-18-11
By: Glen Cook
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Born in Fire
- Demon Days, Vampire Nights World, Book 1
- By: K.F. Breene
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options. Dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old-as-sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day. Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case. Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire.
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Entertaining New Series
- By Anonymous User on 06-23-17
By: K.F. Breene
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Shadow Prowler
- Chronicles of Siala, Book 1
- By: Alexey Pehov
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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An army is gathering; thousands of giants, ogres, and other creatures are joining forces from all across the Desolate Lands, united, for the first time in history, under one, black banner. By the spring, or perhaps sooner, the Nameless One and his forces will be at the walls of the great city of Avendoom.
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This Thief will steal your time away
- By Anonymous User on 03-29-10
By: Alexey Pehov
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Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.