
Candy Coated Madness
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Narrated by:
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Andy Barker
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By:
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Jeff Strand
About this listen
Horror/comedy master Jeff Strand returns with a collection of 26 gleefully macabre tales!
A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!
Often hilarious, frequently gruesome, and sometimes just flat-out wrong to the point where laughing at them presents a moral quandary, Candy Coated Madness is Strand at his demented best!
Table of contents:
- "Virtual Reality Kill Zone"
- "Good Deeds"
- "Captain Pistachio's Charming Rampage"
- "The Last Thing You Want to Be"
- "Lab Experiment Turf War"
- "No Tomato"
- "Clyde the Necrophile"
- "Don't Make Fun of the Haunted House"
- "Ivan's Night Out"
- "Pointy Canes"
- "Giant Mutant Cockroaches in the Old West vs. Zombies"
- "Outpouring"
- "Smashing Jacks"
- "Faerie"
- "Green Suits"
- "The Fraud"
- "Hostile"
- "The Great Stone Face vs. the Gargoyles"
- "Parody"
- "Awakening"
- "Dismemberment Fraud"
- "Beware! The! Beverage!"
- "Rotten Eggs"
- "Gave Up the Ghost"
- "December Birthday"
- "My Werewolf Neighbor"
Plus an introduction and story notes!
©2020 Jeff Strand (P)2021 Jeff StrandListeners also enjoyed...
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At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.
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Cemetery Dance Magazine says that, "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." Gleefully Macabre Tales compiles 33 of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you.
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Outrageous and Unique
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Freaky Briefs
- 75 Short Absurdities
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- Narrated by: Andy Barker
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the madman who brought you Gleefully Macabre Tales, Dead Clown Barbecue, Everything Has Teeth, and Candy Coated Madness comes Jeff Strand’s latest and most twisted collection: Freaky Briefs.
-
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Adore Jeff Strand, But...
- By jeliarra on 02-05-23
By: Jeff Strand
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Benjamin's Parasite
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- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one. Benjamin Wilson was having a lousy month even before the stomach pains began. He was about to turn 40. One of his students had been shot while on a homicidal meat cleaver rampage. And, shortly after the funeral, Benjamin didn't feel so good.... Now, everything is changing. His body is being affected in some very unpleasant ways.
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The Sinister Mr. Corpse
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- Narrated by: Cassandra Arnold
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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This novel is the tale of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream. But in many ways, it’s harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. There’s constant pressure coming at him from all sides—not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy.
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- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dead Clown Barbecue is a collection of 29 gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand-new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right?
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Gob Stopping
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By: Jeff Strand
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Everything Has Teeth
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Performance
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A city where people are turning gleefully insane. Inescapable blood-sucking bugs. A serial killer who may have discovered proof of alien life. A kinky proposal to "even out" an instance of infidelity. A man whose fingernails are growing at an out of control rate. These are only a few of the stories in Jeff Strand's deranged new collection, which includes several macabre tales written just for these bloody audiobook.
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Narration Is Not Good
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Bring Her Back
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Frank knows that he's creepy. There's nothing he can do about it. His creepiness - along with the fact that his father once killed 11 people in an office shooting - has kept him from ever having a girlfriend. When he finally works up the nerve to ask Abigail out on a date, after buying flowers from her every day for the past three months, he's sure she'll say no. But she accepts. These two kindhearted but weird souls have found each other, and Frank thinks his life is about to change for the better. But this is not a love story. This is a tale of revenge and madness.
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Fun like always!!
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Pressure
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Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
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Refreshingly Riveting GrittyThriller! LOVED IT!
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Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary
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When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.
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Tried to get through it.
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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After a series of bizarre and increasingly horrific attacks from pulpy, red, seeded fruit, Mason Dixon finds himself leading a "crack" team of specialists to save the planet. But will they be quick enough to save everyone? To save you? You can't run! You can't swim!
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Great fun
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Wolf Hunt 3
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Though still mourning his recent loss, George Orton is surprisingly content. He's living in a secure compound where teenaged werewolf Ally is being trained to control her animalistic tendencies, and mad science experiment Eugene has regained most of his sanity. George knows they can't stay there forever, but for now, things are pretty good. Then he receives some shocking news: People at the compound have brought his partner and best friend Lou back to life. Not as a flesh-eating zombie; he's the old Lou, as much of a wiseass as before.
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Another Great Volume in the Series
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Dweller
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Toby Floren was eight years old, he discovered a monster living in the woods behind his house. A ghastly, frightening creature with claws, fangs, and a taste for human flesh. As he ran out of the forest, screaming, Toby felt that he'd been lucky to escape with his life. Years later, Toby finds comfort with the creature. It's his own special secret - something that nobody else in the world knows about. Somebody to talk to. Somebody to confide in.
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I can't even...
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Allison
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Allison can break your bones with her mind, and she can't control her power. Now 45 years old, she's spent her life trying to stay away from other people. But a random encounter with a couple on the street leaves her believing that she may have done something horrible. Something unforgivable. Killer-for-hire Daxton and his girlfriend Maggie know the truth. Instead of easing Allison's anguish, they come up with a cruel plan to take advantage of it. But with Allison's abilities exposed, there may be a grisly body count very soon....
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Finished It In Two Sittings
- By Brian on 05-18-20
By: Jeff Strand
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The Odds
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
After a disastrous evening playing slot machines, Ethan Caustin wonders how he's going to explain his massive loss to his wife and kids. As he tries to find his way out of the casino, sick to his stomach and filled with self-loathing, he's approached by a stranger who offers a solution to his problem. It's a simple game. A 99 percent chance for him to win $10,000. In the remote chance that he loses...well, he'll be strapped into a device that shatters his left arm.
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Don't bet on it!
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Autumn Bleeds into Winter
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Somebody has been abducting children in Fairbanks, Alaska. One of the victims was 14-year-old Curtis Black's best friend, Todd. Curtis saw it happen. He knows exactly who did it. But he can't prove that it was his neighbor, Gerald Martin. The authorities find no evidence of the crime. There's nothing they can do. So he's going to confront Mr. Martin himself. And this is just the beginning of the terrifying story.
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Jeff Strand will have you laughing the whole time!
- By Andrew Fowlow on 12-01-20
By: Jeff Strand
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Wolf Hunt Trilogy
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
All three of the hilariously bloody and action-packed werewolf novels in one collection!
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Three times the fun, a triple Strand Treat!
- By Jamie La Chance on 03-24-21
By: Jeff Strand
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I Have a Bad Feeling about This
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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Entertaining
- By JunieJ on 01-22-17
By: Jeff Strand
What listeners say about Candy Coated Madness
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Suzy M.
- 07-29-21
awesome!
What a fun book! the stories were funny, silly and gory and the narrator gave an awesome performance. If you are looking for a horror anthology that is just a fun ride, consider this one. I now consider myself a fan of Jeff Strand. (also if i ever open a subscription box that included a short story by him, I'd be utterly delighted!!)
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- kathy pappas
- 04-21-23
So good!
Wow , I usually listen to these books in bed at night. There were a couple of stories that weren't my favorite, but overall its a really good book . And funny as can be . I'm laying in bed listening to one and honestly laughing out loud ! Not good for falling asleep but I can't help it .
Really good! Thanks !
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- chase c.
- 10-03-22
first Strand book I hated
I didn't like a single story here. this is my 6th book of his Ive been through.
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